Chapter 26: Showdown in the Devil City (3)
Tang Cuo had always been fierce and unyielding, and with 98% HP, he had plenty of confidence to spare. But this time, he still chose to cross directly via the tightrope, sparing himself from smashing against the cliff face into meat paste and dying an unsightly death.
He had calculated it in his mind: the 6 points had enhanced his physical constitution, but he was still a far cry from Jin Cheng. Players in Zone F were essentially still mortal flesh and bone, unable to take heavy beatings.
Terrified that Tang Cuo would team up with Jin Cheng to target him once across, Meng Yufei immediately stepped onto the cable right behind him the moment Tang Cuo set off.
Two figures moved one after the other. Meng Yufei kept his nerves frayed tight the entire way, one hand gripping his scimitar firmly; the moment Jin Cheng made any strange move, he would strike at Tang Cuo.
For the time being, both sides remained in peaceful coexistence.
“We now see Numbers 8 and 12 setting off! They’re walking very steadily, already a third of the way across! Let us look forward to seeing who the next brave little cutie will be!” The little imp flapped its wings, its malicious gaze darting back and forth across the remaining players. “Whoa, Number 10 has set off! Numbers 5 and 7 refuse to be outdone either! Everyone, remember to cheer for them!”
Numbers 5 and 7 were Qian Wei and Peng Mingfan respectively. Having resolved to cling tightly to the big bosses’ thighs, they naturally had to follow closely in their footsteps. Jin Cheng’s method was a bit too excessive for them, so they opted for Tang Cuo’s approach—hanging beneath the cable, hooking their feet over it, and rapidly shimmying across.
They had seen this technique in movies and TV shows, and with Tang Cuo demonstrating it, it wasn’t overly difficult.
The girl at Number 10 was considerably fiercer. Choosing Jin Cheng’s method, right as she was about to slam into the cliff face, she abruptly blasted forward with an energy palm strike, successfully breaking her fall. Though injured, it wasn’t a major issue.
Number 6 in the ghillie suit followed suit. By the time they reached the opposite side, Tang Cuo and Meng Yufei had arrived as well.
Jin Cheng pulled out a revolver and tossed it to Tang Cuo—the very same one he had used in Returner on a Snowy Night. His disciple still didn’t have a handy weapon even now; it was truly pathetic.
Catching the gun, Tang Cuo raised his hand and aimed it straight at Meng Yufei.
Meng Yufei’s scalp instantly went numb. But before he could react, he saw Jin Cheng pull out a rope, tying one end around his waist and the other to an arrow, drawing his bow to aim down into the abyss. Meng Yufei quickly understood: Tang Cuo was acting as Jin Cheng’s bodyguard, warning him not to pull any tricks.
Among the remaining players, some were not having as smooth a crossing, inching slowly along the tightrope like the timid Number 1.
It was only then that Tang Cuo realized Number 1 was the only solo player. Numbers 2, 9, and 11 formed a group, while Numbers 3, 6, and 10 formed another, with Number 10 being the implicit leader.
Numbers 2, 9, and 11 exchanged glances and also chose the safer method. The three of them possessed mediocre strength—slightly stronger than Number 1, but inferior to Qian Wei and Peng Mingfan. This significantly slowed their pace, and the giant worms at the bottom of the abyss were growing impatient.
Meng Yufei didn’t want to wait around either.
“If you want to wait for those cowards, go ahead. I’m not wasting time here.” Meng Yufei backed away as he spoke, his eyes vigilantly locked on Tang Cuo and Jin Cheng.
He still remembered the quest requirements: individual rewards were tied to the final rankings. Only an idiot would bother with that trash.
Tang Cuo didn’t attack, casting an inquiring glance toward Jin Cheng.
Right at that moment, the giant worms in the abyss went berserk in unison. The ground shook violently; Qian Wei, who was just about to reach the ledge, lost his grip and plunged straight down.
Even Number 9, who was clutching the cable tightly, slipped once more.
Acting decisively, Jin Cheng loosed an arrow. Dragging the rope behind it, the arrow flew faster than a falling body, arriving beside Qian Wei in a flash. Qian Wei was quick-witted enough to grab hold. His body slammed repeatedly against the cliff face several times before finally coming to a halt just before he became monster feed.
He was in so much agony he nearly blacked out. His palms gripping the rope were rubbed raw and bloody, and every bone in his body ached. But a casual glance downward revealed his feet dangling practically inside a gaping maw. The gusts of foul stench wafting from the bloody maw jolted him into a shudder.
“Pull! Pull me up! Dage, save me!!!” Qian Wei scrambled upward with his feet as he screamed, his hair standing on end, drenched in cold sweat.
Over on the cable, Number 9 was still dangling. He wanted to scream for help too, but opening his mouth only filled it with rushing wind. Only after Qian Wei was hauled up did Jin Cheng free up his hands to toss him a rope as well.
“Whoa, what a harmonious and loving scene! That’s quite a rare sight in our Devil City!” The little imp maintained its theatrical tone, dripping with sarcasm. “Number 8 has already reached the second stage! Let us now focus our attention on Number 8! Stage Two: The Master-Pet Chemistry Test!”
“Can Number 8 maintain the lead, be the first to reach the finish line, and claim supreme glory? Let us wait and see!”
With that, the little imp hummed a tune and flew ahead. Lining both sides of the street were still bizarrely shaped houses, where the monster audience pointed and chattered at Tang Cuo’s group through the windows, seemingly dissatisfied with their performance just now.
Yet they undeniably fancied Jin Cheng; Tang Cuo could hear “Number 4” occasionally sprinkled amidst the stream of unintelligible gibberish.
By now, the players crawling along the cables had finally made it across, collapsing onto the ground gasping for air, completely drained. Having been rescued twice by Jin Cheng, Number 9 scrambled up to express his gratitude, only to see Jin Cheng reel in his rope and turn to leave, cool and breezy as the wind.
Departing alongside him were Tang Cuo, Qian Wei, and Peng Mingfan. After a moment’s thought, the girl at Number 10 cut her rest short as well, pursuing with her companions.
The group walked swiftly, turning the street corner in the blink of an eye.
Ahead lay a colossal arena resembling the Colosseum of ancient Rome. Miscellaneous monster spectators packed the tiers of steps, craning their necks in eager anticipation of their arrival.
“Number 8! Mischievous Number 8 has failed to complete his master’s assigned task yet again! Madam Sally is going to be furious! What kind of punishment will she inflict on Number 8 this time?” The little imp flitted up and down with delight. “Oh, Madam Sally has brought out her rolling pin! To beat is affection, to scold is love; while the rolling pin strikes the beloved pet’s body, it’s the master’s heart that truly aches!”
In the arena, a sturdy, two-meter-tall matron clad in an apron was brandishing a rolling pin, crashing it down onto Meng Yufei’s head. Her skin was blue, and beneath her apron writhed countless tentacles—at least a dozen—leaving Meng Yufei nowhere to escape.
Smack—! Swatted by the rolling pin, Meng Yufei flew across the ground, coughing up a mouthful of blood, only to be scooped back up by the tentacles. Madam Sally cradled him in her arms with aching tenderness, perfectly embodying the creed of “to beat is affection, to scold is love.”
Looking at the slime covering Meng Yufei, Qian Wei nearly gagged. The others reacted with equal disgust and horror, their fearful eyes sweeping across the other monsters in the arena, struggling to convince themselves that any of them were much better than Madam Sally.
The arena was still partitioned into twelve lanes: Lanes 1 through 6 to the left, and 7 through 12 to the right, strictly isolated from one another. A monster stood in each lane, gazing upon them with boundless maternal affection. At a glance, Tang Cuo spotted his “master”—a giant black-scaled serpent with claws.
Qian Wei’s was a giant rat covered in eyes from head to toe.
Peng Mingfan’s was a horned centaur.
Jin Cheng’s was truly something: he had drawn a flying two-headed firebird. The Curse of Handsome: Fire Resistance -80% had seemingly directed all its spiteful blessings onto him alone.
The most terrified was Qian Wei. Staring at the rat whose eyes blinked continuously over its entire body, he felt ready to roll his eyes and faint. Finally, he asked, “Can I commit suicide?”
Peng Mingfan: “No.”
“Looks like our remaining contestants have all arrived!” The little imp refocused on them, raising its microphone high. “Come on! Your beloved masters have been waiting for ages! Begin your Chemistry Test now!”
As the words fell, light screens popped up simultaneously in the other eleven lanes besides Meng Yufei’s, displaying their trial objectives. Tang Cuo’s clearly read: Cook a delicious dinner for Lord Black Demon.
He looked at the others: Jin Cheng was tasked with jumping through fiery hoops with the firebird; Peng Mingfan had to scratch the centaur’s back; and Qian Wei’s was truly impressive—the system ordered him to put sunglasses on his master.
With a sudden flash of white light, an enormous pair of sunglasses appeared in Qian Wei’s hands. Aside from being gargantuan with strings for temple arms, the design was no different from standard human sunglasses.
He looked at the sunglasses, then looked at the giant rat covered in eyes, in total disbelief: “With so many eyes on his body, only two of them are real?! Are the rest just for decoration???”
Still, looking over at No. 6 in the ghillie suit who had to give a bath to a dung beetle, Qian Wei felt considerably more at peace with his lot.
By this point, Meng Yufei’s third trial had commenced. His light screen displayed: Madam Sally needs to go on a long journey, but she does not have a well-fitting dress. To avoid breaking your beloved master’s heart, contestant, please sew a pretty dress for her!
Appearing alongside the prompt were a vintage sewing machine and a large basket of floral fabric.
Meng Yufei was about to lose his mind. And when he was driven crazy, Jin Cheng was delighted. Waving amiably to him, Jin Cheng turned back to play jumping through flaming hoops with the firebird. The bird had two heads, alternating their breath—one spewing a ring of fire after the other, overlapping like the Olympic rings.
While Jin Cheng performed acrobatics, Tang Cuo stood before the stove contemplating his life choices.
He genuinely only knew how to boil water and cook instant noodles. Faced with this pile of raw meat, what was he supposed to do?
The giant serpent named Black Demon slithered over, propping its dragon-like claws against the cooking counter, flicking its tongue affectionately at Tang Cuo. Tang Cuo had zero doubt that if the meal didn’t suit its palate, it would turn hostile in an instant.
Should I just poison it to death?
Then again, many snakes are naturally venomous. Can poison even kill it?
Tang Cuo sometimes couldn’t rein in his thoughts, letting them run wild before snapping back to reality a moment later. At any rate, it was impossible to evolve into a Michelin-star chef within a few minutes. He simply tossed the meat into the giant iron cauldron chunk by chunk, followed his instincts to add every seasoning on the table, poured in water, lit the fire, and slammed the lid shut.
Perfect.
“Alright, our darling Number 12 has been the first to close the cauldron lid! We wonder whether the dinner it prepared will satisfy Lord Black Demon’s taste? If everyone likes it, feel free to shower it with gifts!”
The little imp flitted from one lane to another, commentating everywhere like a butterfly fluttering among flowers.
“Number 10 is very fast as well! As expected of the sole female contestant this season, the makeup she applied on Lady Marsha seems to have won Lady Marsha’s heart completely! Look at this gorgeous yet masculine look—I believe it will definitely set off a new trend in our Devil City!”
Hearing these glowing words of praise, Qian Wei couldn’t resist glancing back. What he saw shocked him to his core: the exaggerated purple eyeshadow and bright red lipstick, combined with smudging techniques rivaling an ink-wash master, made straight-laced Qian Wei feel even he could do a better job.
Yet the audience went wild with enthusiasm. Led by the little imp, wave after wave of cheers surged toward Number 10, with some monsters even tossing gifts into her lane.
“The very first gift of this tournament has arrived! Congratulations, Number 10!”
Once one arrived, more followed. In just a few minutes, Number 10 received three gifts. Although she didn’t know what they were used for, she was clearly energized, her makeup brush moving so fast it left afterimages.
Qian Wei remained in a bind, his hands trembling, unsure where to place the sunglasses.
Mr. Babylon the giant rat was growing impatient, blinking faster than strobe lights. Right then, two bizarre scents drifted over from the right lane—resembling overnight rancid rice tossed back into a pot to boil until burnt, mixed with the distinct aroma of excrement.
The neighboring dung beetle was taking a bath; Qian Wei knew that much.
Where was the other smell coming from?
“Number 12! The earth-shattering dinner from our earth-shattering darling is out of the pot! Lord Black Demon passed out cold the moment he caught the scent! Heavens above, it actually dumped in the saliva of a Thousand-Faced Spider—that soul-stealing stench—oh my god!” The little imp pinched its nose and retreated while screeching. It was a miracle that Tang Cuo was a hardened warrior, still standing firm before the stove.
Smack! A gift was hurled from the spectator stands into Lane 12, the gifting monster standing up with pride.
It was a vagrant carrying a spider shell—or perhaps a spider harboring a vagrant inside its body.
At any rate, the paying customer is always king.
Tang Cuo covered the cauldron, nodded in respectful salute toward the spider, and bent down to pick up the gift. It was a bundle of white spider silk. He gave it a try; the silk could be placed into his materials inventory, likely making it an item of quality.
Watching from afar, Qian Wei thought to himself that even cooking dark cuisine could fetch gifts. Hardening his resolve, he aimed for the original eye positions on the giant rat’s face and strapped the sunglasses on.
“Number 5 has failed the trial! Master-Pet Chemistry: 0!” The little imp’s voice abruptly turned shrill. Gloating, it flew over and perched atop the rat’s head: “Mr. Babylon appears extraordinarily furious!”
Naturally, Mr. Babylon the giant rat was furious. His eyes were clearly on his neck, yet this damned pet still failed to remember! Tearing off the sunglasses, the eyes behind them instantly shot two lasers, blasting Qian Wei from one end of the lane to the other before he slammed into the barrier and ricocheted back.
Qian Wei painstakingly fished out a healing potion to top up his health, tears streaming down alongside blood, weeping with heartfelt anguish.
Three minutes later, the girl at Number 10 was the first to successfully clear the stage, followed closely by the folk acrobatic fire-hoop artist, Jin Cheng. The attribute Fire Resistance -80% inevitably cost him some HP, but circus acrobatics were wildly popular no matter which world you were in. Thus, while chugging potions, he harvested a bounty of gifts:
A man-eating flower, a scale, and a pile of scrap metal spat out of some monster’s mouth.
The light screens soon refreshed with the objectives for their second round of the Master-Pet Chemistry Test. And what about Tang Cuo right now? He sat cross-legged in Lane 12, utterly idle.
Because his master… had passed out cold.
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Author’s Note:
Tang “Master of Dark Cuisine” Cuo: Once again, being invincible makes one lonely.
