Lin Heyu pulled out a chair from the old spot: “I thought you would sit here; why did you come down from upstairs?”
“What if I run into ‘myself’ again? That would be awkward.” Yi Shi paused, “What you mentioned about ‘separation,’ is that referring to this?”
Lin Heyu nodded, patiently repeating the explanation he had heard from the future Yi Shi. Yi Shi pondered carefully and soon nodded, “I understand.”
“That’s good. The main reason I came to find you is—”
Before Lin Heyu could finish his sentence, Yi Shi reached out both hands, suddenly cupping his face, pressing their foreheads together and gazing into each other’s eyes, his black pupils only reflecting Lin Heyu’s figure. This behavior wasn’t new; Lin Heyu remained silent, quietly waiting for Yi Shi’s confirmation.
In just a few seconds, a subtle glimmer danced in Yi Shi’s eyes, and his smile was like a spring breeze in March: “It’s you.”
Lin Heyu took his hand and kissed his palm: “It’s me.”
Confirming that he was the Lin Heyu he had been longing for, Yi Shi’s cheeks gradually flushed: “You still haven’t finished saying why you came to find me.”
Both states were very adorable. Lin Heyu smiled and said, “I mainly wanted to say, it’s so good to see you.”
Perhaps their actions were too ambiguous, inevitably attracting the curious gazes of the guests and staff. Yi Shi cleared his throat, wanting to change places, and Lin Heyu had the same intention, clearly expressing he would follow Yi Shi to the opposite world.
Pushing open the door, Yi Shi held Lin Heyu’s hand as they walked out of the coffee shop, the familiar feeling of traversing time washed over them. After several back-and-forth experiences, Lin Heyu could even sense the rapid passage of time around him, indescribable yet palpable; if he had to describe it, that moment felt like the shifting of stars and the changing of seas.
Time returned to October 21, with Yi Shi leading the way to their new residence. It was a guesthouse that only required one person’s ID to check in, and the owner wouldn’t question how many friends came and went. Yi Shi, as an enforcement officer, would have definitely reported such violations to the relevant authorities in the past, but at this moment, he was glad for this loophole in the city that hadn’t been eradicated. At least Lin Heyu, with his special identity, could have a place to stay.
The guesthouse was located in an alley in the old city, a three-story self-built building divided into twelve small rooms. There were two universities nearby, and couples came to stay in droves; on weekends, accommodations were exceptionally tight, in high demand. Yi Shi had previously come to these informal small inns to catch criminals; the rooms were separated by thin partition walls with terrible sound insulation, where a slightly raised voice could be heard clearly in two or three rooms. The unfortunate fugitive had been caught because he was on the phone with his accomplice in one of those rooms, leading to the tip-off.
As a result, the sounds of young couples exchanging sweet nothings inevitably drifted in. Yi Shi discussed serious topics of fate with a calm demeanor, while in the background, there were couples unabashedly declaring their affections, making it seem bizarre.
Lin Heyu had long passed the age where he would indulge in fantasies just by listening to such sounds. However, with Yi Shi sharing the same scene, it was a different story. Compared to this detached, clear-headed, and abstinent state, he preferred to see Yi Shi’s shy, dazed, and clingy side, which created a stark contrast that made him want to hold him tightly.
“…Coincidentally, I’ve been on forced leave for the past few days due to Captain Yu’s arrangements, just staying at home. It’s inconvenient to go back and get something.” Yi Shi sighed helplessly, finally understanding the drawbacks of his monotonous life. He was used to a life that revolved around only two points, lacking interests and friends. Being forced on leave meant he stayed at home, earnestly cultivating himself without ever stepping outside.
“I’ve said before, life shouldn’t be too bland.”
Yi Shi looked innocent and confused: “When did you say that?”
Lin Heyu chuckled, wrapping his arms around Yi Shi’s waist as they fell onto the narrow bed: “I will say it in the future.”
Yi Shi’s chin was turned, their lips touching, and the air was filled with Lin Heyu’s breath. The man leaning over him kissed deeply, stealing away the thin air, leaving Yi Shi struggling to breathe, trying not to embarrass himself by gasping for air. He still held onto a rigorous, disciplined, and reserved impression of Lin Heyu. Even that morning of their separation hadn’t been this passionate. This time they met, Lin Heyu suddenly exhibited such strong control, as if there were a switch in his personality, leaving Yi Shi’s cheeks flushed and his eyes misty as if he were dazed with shock.
The person in his arms stiffened, panting. Lin Heyu softly asked, “Are you scared?”
Yi Shi shook his head: “…No.”
It was still the same Yi Shi, but his mindset at each stage was worlds apart. Although he felt an innate closeness to Lin Heyu, the length of their memories and interactions caused a discrepancy in intimacy. This situation could be compared to a game save file, where each save had different progress; if he encountered a blank initial version of Yi Shi, a passionate kiss might lead to a physical confrontation.
It would be better to treat situations differently in the future. Lin Heyu actively sat up: “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to scare you…”
Yi Shi quickly caught his waist, pulling back the distance they had just created, speaking in a voice like a whisper: “I said I’m not.”
“What is it then?” Lin Heyu found it amusing as Yi Shi buried his face in his chest, looking down, only able to see his flushed ears.
“…It’s a bit… happy…”
The background music was too loud, easily drowning it out. Lin Heyu embraced him closely, listening carefully: “What?”
Next door, for some reason, a fight broke out, and various voices mixed together. Yi Shi had to raise his voice: “I’m not scared; I’m happy!”
“Why?”
“Because, because sometimes I’m not very good at expressing myself. If you take the initiative, that would be good…”
Lin Heyu ruffled his black hair and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead: “Hmm, take your time. I will take the initiative to approach you.”
Yi Shi looked up, blinking, his hands resting on Lin Heyu’s broad back, as if he liked him even more.
——
[10/23, 13:48, Nanyi City]
“Zhao Chenghu is currently not in Nanyi. Under Pang Daozi’s orders, he has gone to another place to pick up a brother, the one who specializes in explosives, heading towards Xian’an City in the southwest, which is in a different direction from Haijing.”
“Is he driving there? It would take at least two days for a round trip.”
“Yeah, that’s right. He left today and is expected back on the 25th.” Yi Shi checked the time, “At the time, there was surveillance footage showing him and the little brother driving appeared at the Xianshan service area on the Shunshui highway around 7 PM. They probably arrived in Xian’an around 3 AM on the 24th.”
“Check how far the service area is from Nanyi.” Lin Heyu said.
The results came out quickly: 5 hours and 26 minutes. If they set off now, they could arrive at the Xianshan service area before 7 PM. Lin Heyu stood up: “Let’s go; don’t waste any time.”
“Do you want to go too?” Yi Shi stood up. “I thought you would stop me and let everything develop naturally.”
“I’ll let the good established facts develop as they are, and I will do my best not to change the details to facilitate it. For the bad established facts, like you, I don’t want to miss any opportunity to change it.” Lin Heyu ruffled Yi Shi’s black hair, “Let’s go; after all, the worst-case scenario is just starting over, right?”
Both of them were action-oriented, deciding to leave immediately. Yi Shi found a car and negotiated the price with the driver for the trip to Xian’an. The driver saw that they were both young and assumed they wouldn’t understand the market rates, so he quoted an outrageous price. Yi Shi remained calm, placing one hand on the car window and leisurely taking out his identification to wave in front of the driver: “I really don’t understand the market rates, but your Zhao Xin from the car company got a customer killed two years ago for charging extra and ripping off outsiders on the bypass. I was the one who arrested the criminal.”
The driver broke into a cold sweat, slapping the back of his head: “Oh, I can’t believe I forgot! Officer, I should take off a zero, heh heh.”
Yi Shi and Lin Heyu got into the car together. They rarely spoke, and even when they communicated, it was only in keywords. With strangers around, they were both alert, trying to minimize their conversation. As the sun set behind the mountains, Lin Heyu stared at the half-sunken sun, a shallow sadness clouding his calm eyes. Yi Shi couldn’t help but ask, “What are you thinking about?”
“Today… is a bit special.”
“Hmm?”
“It’s my father’s death anniversary.”
Yi Shi stopped asking further questions, holding Lin Heyu’s left hand that hung by his side, gently squeezing his palm. Lin Heyu returned the grip with a smile; his father had passed away twenty years ago, and that heart-wrenching feeling had long faded. However, every year when this time came around, a wave of sorrow inevitably clouded his heart.
Unexpected misfortunes struck; on the highway, just 30 kilometers from the Xianshan service area, the car suddenly developed problems and broke down. With no nearby villages or shops, the driver could only call for roadside assistance, repeatedly apologizing to Yi Shi and asking him to find another vehicle.
Walking 30 kilometers was unrealistic and would take until midnight. Lin Heyu and Yi Shi walked while trying to hitch a ride. In this day and age, one couldn’t blame people for being indifferent; there were just too many stories and accidents on the highway, and it was completely normal for no one to stop and give them a lift. As the sun was about to set behind the mountains, a van finally came to a gradual stop.
The driver rolled down the window and leaned out: “Hey, young man, what’s going on?”
Lin Heyu was stunned, staring blankly at the other person, completely forgetting to speak. Yi Shi walked over, briefly explaining the difficulties they encountered and asking for a ride, assuring the driver that the fare was negotiable. The driver readily responded, “Oh, what’s the fare for? The service area isn’t far ahead; it’s right along the way. You two should hop in!”
Lin Heyu remained rooted in place, his eyes fixed on the driver. Suddenly, he stepped forward, his voice revealing his nervousness: “Excuse me, are you Chen Shuwu?”
Hearing that name, Yi Shi was greatly surprised, and Chen Shuwu was equally taken aback: “Huh? You know me?”
Lin Heyu slowly pulled down his mask, a smile forming on his lips: “I’m from Linjia Village.”
“Oh! Linjia Village! So you’re from my hometown, come on in!”
Yi Shi and Lin Heyu took their seats in the back. Yi Shi had never seen Lin Heyu so talkative; he actively started discussing his family’s recent situation, talking about his mother, sister, his job, relationships, and life, as if he was giving a detailed self-introduction.
Chen Shuwu was a great listener, nodding and smiling in agreement: “Wow, that’s great! You have a stable job, a good salary, and a nice home, plus your partner is excellent! Even though your sister isn’t biological, your bond is so strong, and she’s a designer with two kids. Your family must be living a good life! The only downside is that your father passed away early, so he couldn’t witness your achievements.”
“…He knows now.” Lin Heyu lowered his head, clenching his fists tightly, “He knows now.”
In less than twenty minutes, the brightly lit Xianshan service area came into view. Chen Shuwu had a great impression of the two young men and wanted to invite them to dinner, ordering a few dishes at the window. Yi Shi pulled Lin Heyu to a corner, and just as Lin Heyu was about to speak, Yi Shi covered his mouth: “I know; he’s your father. We can change our route; we don’t have to go to Xian’an today. The established bad outcomes are right in front of us, and just like you, I won’t miss the chance to change them.”
Lin Heyu hugged Yi Shi tightly: “…Thank you. The case won’t take long; today, only today.”
Yi Shi shook his head. Zhao Chenghu wouldn’t escape, and missing Chen Shuwu now would be a regret Lin Heyu would carry for a lifetime.
“How much do you remember about Uncle Chen’s car accident?”
Lin Heyu rubbed his forehead: “I only know he died in a traffic accident near Huangma Town. My dad was fixing his car by the roadside when a truck driver, fatigued from driving, crashed into him and killed him.”
Yi Shi took out his phone to check the map; Huangma Town was underneath the Shun’an highway, and getting off at the direction toward Linzhou would take about an hour. He asked, “What was Uncle Chen’s original destination?”
“My mom said he was going to Zhao’an to pick up goods, so he shouldn’t have gotten off the highway midway. But my dad had a good temper and a wide social circle; he often went to see friends while on business trips, so we didn’t think much of him taking the rural road at that time.”
“In that case—why don’t we just follow him, persuade him to take the highway? Maybe we can avoid the accident.” Yi Shi took Lin Heyu’s hand, “After all, we’re both in the car. Heaven hasn’t tormented us enough; it won’t be so cruel as to let us die early.”
Lin Heyu smiled: “That’s true; we’ve already experienced the worst, so none of this matters.”
“But—” Yi Shi hesitated for a long time, reluctantly pouring cold water on the situation, “Lin Heyu, you have to be prepared for failure. We might not be able to change anything, and doing our best doesn’t guarantee a good outcome.”
“I know.” Lin Heyu sighed; at most, it would just be another futile effort. The day he had constantly fantasized about—crossing time to save his father and make up for regrets—had finally come.
__
During dinner, upon hearing that Lin Heyu and Yi Shi were going to Xian’an, Chen Shuwu slapped his thigh: “What a coincidence! I’m going to Zhao’an, and I’ll pass by Xian’an. You guys should come with me!”
“Uncle Chen, you’re going straight to Zhao’an, so you won’t meet any friends?”
“Meet friends?” Chen Shuwu looked puzzled, “Which friends?”
Yi Shi chuckled: “Uncle is very enthusiastic; I thought you would meet a lot of friends along the way.”
“Of course! I’ve been on long-distance runs for over ten years, and I have friends all over the place! There’s a saying: ‘A friend is a friend, no matter how far apart.’ I might not have time to visit them when I’m busy, but as long as I go, I’ll definitely treat them to good food and drinks!”
Yi Shi and Lin Heyu exchanged glances; it seemed he wasn’t going to meet friends for a casual visit but rather had some special reason for changing his route to Huangma Town.
Around eight o’clock, the three of them set off again, traveling along the Shun’an highway for twenty minutes. Coincidentally, a car in the right front lane had an unusually familiar license plate. Yi Shi narrowed his eyes and whispered, “It’s Zhao Chenghu and his crew.”
They had followed this underling’s car a few times in their investigations; the license plate number was well known to them. Lin Heyu said coldly, “I thought they would have left after we didn’t see them at the service area.”
“Zhao Chenghu is a pleasure-seeker; he definitely would have eaten and drunk enough before leaving.” Yi Shi lowered his voice, “If it weren’t for Pang Daozi’s orders, he might even rest for another day before leaving.”
Ahead, an exit appeared, conveniently leading in the direction of Linzhou. The vehicle in the right front lane turned on its right blinker and exited the highway. Yi Shi’s heart raced as he sensed something was wrong, urgently calling out, “Uncle Chen! Don’t…!”
“Hey, hey, hey, I know, I know! Don’t go straight! You two are definitely working on a case, right? Just say so; it’s our duty to help the police!”
As he said this, he had already turned on his right blinker and followed the exit, getting off the highway behind Zhao Chenghu’s car.
Yi Shi’s heart raced, and he turned to look at Lin Heyu, who had a furrowed brow and remained silent, writing in his palm—if he didn’t get out of the car, there would still be hope.
The section of road after exiting the highway still had streetlights, but the further they drove, the fewer streetlights there were, often with only one visible several meters away. The facilities on either side gradually turned into self-built houses and farmland. Yi Shi tightly gripped his phone; according to the navigation, they were now near Huangma Town.
The rural road had only two lanes, with a sparse flow of traffic consisting of only one vehicle in front and one behind. The car in front rolled down its window, and one of Zhao Chenghu’s underlings shouted, “Hey, are you following me?!”
Chen Shuwu ignored him and said, “Tch, looking like a thug, he’s definitely not a good person, right, Officer Lin?”
“Yeah.”
“He was quite talkative before, and now he’s so serious about the case. He’s a good police officer. I hope my son can grow up to be as accomplished as you!”
This sentence broke Lin Heyu’s defenses. His eyes stung, and he suppressed his complex emotions, softly replying, “He will, he definitely will.”
The rear window of the sedan rolled down, Zhao Chenghu stuck his head out to take a look, then withdrew, extending his hand to throw out a cigarette butt. Yi Shi clearly saw a flash of white reflection, indicating it was definitely more than just a cigarette butt.
“It looks like a nail,” Lin Heyu quickly spoke up. “Uncle Chen, please pull over; there might be nails ahead.”
“Huh? Not following anymore?”
“No rush, they won’t get away.”
Chen Shuwu parked the van by the roadside and turned on the hazard lights. Just as he was about to unbuckle his seatbelt, Lin Heyu and Yi Shi pressed down on his hands: “Stay in the car, don’t get out. We’ll go check.”
The two of them took a flashlight and got out to check. After walking less than ten meters, they indeed found two triangular nails on the ground. Yi Shi said softly, “Is this what made Uncle Chen get out to fix the car?”
“Possibly. The traffic police assessed that they were changing a tire based on the tools at the scene.”
They returned to the car, and Yi Shi handed the nails to Chen Shuwu while Lin Heyu thoroughly inspected the area around the van with his flashlight. Chen Shuwu picked up a triangular nail and inhaled sharply: “Iron thorns! These people are immoral; this thing is a waste tire’s nemesis! But my two rear tires are going to puncture or not, they both need to be replaced…”
Lin Heyu also noticed the rear tires showing cracks and several repair marks; they were long overdue for replacement. His father had always been frugal, and he surely would have tried to stretch out their use as long as possible to avoid wasting money.
“Since we’re stopped, I’ll change the rear tire. It wouldn’t be good if I got a flat on the way.” Chen Shuwu attempted to get out again, but Yi Shi stopped him, saying, “You don’t need to get out. Changing tires isn’t urgent; you can do it tomorrow.”
“Oh, I usually don’t want to replace them. I finally made up my mind, but once I start driving again, I want to make the most of these worn tires.”
“You just sit tight,” Lin Heyu opened the trunk, “I’ll do it.”
———
On the dark country road with black fields at both ends, in the middle was a van with glaring white lights. When the trunk opened, a large box filled with dazzling tools was revealed, showing that Chen Shuwu indeed liked to do everything himself. Lin Heyu raised the chassis with a jack; theoretically, no one should be in the car under these circumstances, but special situations warranted special treatment. They couldn’t let Chen Shuwu stand on the country road, and besides, changing a tire only took a little over ten minutes, as long as they were careful, nothing unexpected should happen.
“Officer Lin is quite capable. Do you usually fix your own car?”
“I can handle small problems myself, but for big issues, it still needs to be sent to the shop.”
“That’s not bad! Most people don’t have those skills.”
“Yeah… I used to watch my dad fix cars a lot, so I learned a lot.”
One was inside the car, and the other was outside; they were chatting passionately. Yi Shi stood by, mainly keeping an eye on Chen Shuwu. Whenever a car passed by, he immediately became alert, instinctively positioning himself next to Chen Shuwu’s window.
Chen Shuwu patted his shoulder cheerfully: “I’m only a little over ten years older than you, not decades older, so why do you treat me like an old man?”
Yi Shi smiled: “It’s too late; there are no streetlights on the country road, and it’s not safe.”
In the blink of an eye, Lin Heyu had already changed one tire and went around to the other side to remove the left tire: “Yi Shi, help me take down the other tire.”
“Coming.” Yi Shi responded and walked over, “Are we changing both?”
“Yeah, to prevent him from changing it himself. I just checked; there are only two spare tires in the car.”
“That’s good too.” Yi Shi took out the spare tire when he heard a heavy rumble approaching. He immediately turned around and saw Chen Shuwu opening the car door and stepping out: “I’m going to relieve myself in the fields; I’ll be right back! I can’t hold it in…”
Yi Shi threw the spare tire down: “Wait! Don’t cross the road! There’s a car coming!!”
“I see it! I’m not crossing; I’m going over to the fields!”
He turned and walked into a nearby patch of grass, his figure disappearing into the darkness. Lin Heyu, unable to continue changing the tire, rushed to find Chen Shuwu. Yi Shi got there a few seconds earlier and found Chen Shuwu at the edge of the trees. Just as Chen Shuwu unbuckled his belt, Yi Shi grabbed his arm: “Let’s go!”
“What’s going on…”
The truck approaching from the opposite direction was swerving erratically, its tires skidding violently, producing a screeching brake sound, and crashed into the field. Chen Shuwu was blinded by the bright light and raised his hand to shield his eyes. He realized that a huge object was rushing in; his eyes widened in shock, his breathing became rapid, and he struggled to push away Yi Shi’s hand: “You go! You go!”
“Yi Shi!” Lin Heyu grabbed Yi Shi’s arm and pulled him close, trying to drag them both away. In the blink of an eye, Chen Shuwu vanished, and the massive truck brushed past him.
With a loud crash, the truck collided with a tree and toppled into the field. Yi Shi and Lin Heyu stumbled onto the country road. He got up, staring blankly at his palm, his fingertips trembling slightly.
So close, just a hair’s breadth away!
Smoke rose from across the street, and Lin Heyu quickly got up, taking out his flashlight and diving into the field. Chen Shuwu had been thrown several meters away, bloodied all over; his chest was pierced by broken ribs, and gory bone fragments ominously protruded. He struggled to breathe, his consciousness fading, his hands unconsciously grasping and digging into the muddy ground.
Lin Heyu witnessed this scene with his own eyes. Compared to the meticulously arranged corpse he had seen years ago at the funeral home, his father in front of him was the truest image of his life, and it was something he could do nothing to protect.
Yi Shi appeared behind him. He had handled several major cases and seen countless brutal crime scenes, yet he had never trembled as violently as he did at this moment. He tried to steady his breath, wanting to call for an ambulance, but Lin Heyu blocked him: “No need.”
He slowly knelt beside Chen Shuwu, holding his hand: “I didn’t used to have the surname Lin. My surname is Chen, Chen Heyu.”
“What I said in the car were all things that would happen in the future. After you left, my mom and I went back to Haijing, and we even had a younger sister. In the beginning, life wasn’t easy, but later, I grew up and was able to protect them. Our family’s life got better and better; the only regret is that you’re missing.”
“…Heyu…”
“Yeah, Dad, it’s me.” Lin Heyu’s cheek pressed against the rough back of his hand, a tear slid down his hand, “I’m sorry; I can’t change fate. I can’t bring you home safely.”
———
This night felt like a nightmare, eroding both their bodies and spirits, giving rise to an invisible hand that silently destroyed some spiritual pillars.
Chen Shuwu died, and the truck driver fell unconscious. In twenty minutes, passing vehicles would discover the accident and call for help. They destroyed the traces left by the two, leaving the scene along the country road, and the bright lights still hung on the van as they drove far, far away, able to still reach that white light in their minds when they looked back.
In front was a neatly stacked haystack. Lin Heyu sat down and after a long time finally spoke:
“On the early morning of October 24th, when I was 13, my mom woke me up with red and swollen eyes. She had already asked the teacher for five days off and was going to take me to another place. On the way, she remained silent the entire time. When I asked her where we were going, she didn’t answer. It was only in the evening that we arrived in Huangma Town, where I finally saw my dad, who hadn’t returned from his business trip for half a month, in the funeral home.”
“My mom said that my dad had an accident on the rural road near Huangma Town. The van was parked on the roadside, and it was speculated that he was hit by a car while changing a tire. The vehicle that hit him was a truck, and the driver was fatigued. He was also from a struggling family, with three children to support. Because of this accident, he was paralyzed, and his family lost their only breadwinner. His wife and mother knelt on the ground, begging my mom and me for forgiveness. I was still young at the time, and my dad’s death was a huge blow to me. My heart was filled with hatred, and I vented my anger like a madman…”
“Don’t say it anymore, Lin Heyu, please don’t say it,” Yi Shi hugged him. “None of us wanted this to happen. Please, just like before, treat Uncle Chen’s death as an accident and don’t keep thinking about it!”
“It was I who wanted to go to Xian’an, it was I who flagged down his car, and it was I who made him leave the highway. If I hadn’t encountered him, he wouldn’t have met Zhao Chenghu, and he wouldn’t have driven on the rural road in the dark. He had been driving for fifteen years, and every year he would go to the temple to ask for a talisman for safety. There had never been an accident before, only this one time, only this one time, only this one time…”
“Lin Heyu, please calm down!” Yi Shi held his face. “There are no ifs! Everything is a predetermined fact that was meant to happen. Don’t take all the blame upon yourself. Didn’t we say before that the worst outcome is that we can’t stop it and just watch it happen? You must remember that it wasn’t because of us that this predetermined fact happened; rather, with us, it became more reasonable!”
“…Can you forget?”
Yi Shi was jolted. The lingering warmth in his fingertips burned intensely. If he could just hold on a little tighter, if just for another second, everything might change. How could he forget? Uncle Chen pushed his hand to let him go—a person who had only intersected with his life for a few hours was willing to sacrifice himself to help him escape. He could never let go of this for the rest of his life.
The two stared at each other. Lin Heyu’s expression was emotionless, overly calm. Yi Shi carefully observed his eyes and found that the light in his pupils had dimmed, all the hope gathered was washed away by this tsunami. Yi Shi’s hands trembled as he gently shook his shoulders: “Lin Heyu, Lin Heyu, can you not do this? If you lose your determination and become despondent, what am I supposed to do?”
“My wish since I was young was to be with you. It was you who made me believe it had a chance of coming true. If you think you can’t escape these predestined calamities, how can I continue to hold on?”
A tear slid down his cheek, then another, and another… more and more tears fell continuously. Yi Shi closed his eyes, his throat felt constricted and uncomfortable, and he couldn’t utter another word. He was more prone to doubt himself and his fate. He had collapsed on Cheng’an Mountain before, but every time he saw Lin Heyu’s determined and gentle eyes, his wavering heart would gradually return to calm.
He had always been in the role of being cared for, with Lin Heyu as his strongest support, making him naturally forget that Lin Heyu was also a mere mortal, with pains that he could not bear in his life. At the moment of collapse and wavering, as the closest person, he felt utterly powerless and could do nothing.
Yi Shi tightly embraced Lin Heyu, tears soaking his shoulder. How could he have forgotten that he was just an ordinary little stone, alone and possessing nothing? If it weren’t for meeting Lin Heyu, perhaps he would still be trapped in the mire. The reason he had taken the initiative to be with Yi Shi back then was to stay by Lin Heyu’s side. This time together had been so sweet that he had become complacent, forgetting he was not a precious stone and had no power to change everything.
Lin Heyu was immersed in guilt and self-reproach. All of this had been known to the future Yi Shi, which was why he was unwilling to tell him. He didn’t want to let him know ahead of time. The string of rationality was tightly pulled, and he tried to avoid it but couldn’t help but think of more possibilities. If Yi Shi revealed the truth of his father’s death, how would he choose? If he hadn’t gone to Xian’an, would he still have met his father?
Tracing back to the source of anything is endless and has no definitive conclusion. However, Lin Heyu was very clear about his own character. Even if he knew all this, he would still come because he always held onto a lucky thought, hoping to prevent the tragedy from happening.
Whether he knew or not, his father’s death would be linked to him, becoming an unsolvable knot in his heart. His family had once been happy and complete. Ever since his father passed away, his mother had to take him back to Haijing and return to Linjia village to rely on relatives. He was forced to change his surname, going through a teenage period of exclusion.
Countless nights, he hated that truck driver and resented fate for its unfairness. This emotion was projected onto the people and things in Linjia Village, and it remained unchanged for a long time.
…But if none of this had happened, he wouldn’t have picked up Zhizhi, wouldn’t have met Xiao Shitou, wouldn’t have fallen in love with Yi Shi, and wouldn’t have had such a good partner.
He shouldn’t just complain and vent; that was something 13-year-old Lin Heyu would do. Twenty years had passed, and he had already let go of his father’s death. Although he couldn’t change his fate, he had said everything he wanted to convey and tried his best to stop and save him. He had done everything he could do, at least with a clear conscience.
The dampness penetrated through his clothes to the skin on his shoulders, and Lin Heyu suddenly woke up. He pulled away from Yi Shi and found that he had been silently crying, his face completely soaked.
This image of a beautiful person shedding tears immediately overlapped with Xiao Shitou, even the habits were identical. All sadness buried in his heart; if it weren’t for the wet chill on his cheek, it would be impossible to notice that he had already shed so many tears.
“Why are you crying?” Lin Heyu cupped his face and wiped away his tears with his fingers. “It’s my fault for only thinking of myself and not realizing that you were feeling bad too.”
Yi Shi shook his head, his eyes red, looking pitiful like a rabbit. He said hoarsely, “I know you’re feeling sad right now; these tears are for you.”
He raised his hand to wipe his eye sockets: “I can’t do anything; I can only watch you feel despondent and guilty. Compared to you, I feel more guilty. Uncle Chen clearly has nothing to do with me, but at the last moment, he wanted to push me away. I can’t accept it just by thinking about it.”
“Is that so? Then Dad might know that if you get hurt, I would feel even worse.” Lin Heyu kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry; I lost my composure. I just saw it with my own eyes and can’t accept it for now. But if I think about it carefully, it’s not like I did nothing. At the very least, he knew our family was doing well. He always praised me for being accomplished on the road, and at the last moment, he called my name. I could feel his appreciation and recognition. That’s a happiness that no honor can bring.”
“I’m glad you can think this way…” Yi Shi lowered his head. “It seems like only you can help me; I truly can’t make a difference by your side.”
Lin Heyu tilted his head and accurately found Yi Shi’s soft lips, engaging in a tender kiss.
“No matter what happens, having you by my side is the greatest luck.”
Author’s Note:
It’s too bitter, too bitter. There’s even more bitterness to come, sigh.
