Edited
“…” The chubby rural entrepreneur Huang said with jealousy, “Hello Monday (Zhou Yi), I’m your older brother, my name is Sunday (Zhou Ri).”1
Fatty Huang wanted to find Boss Chu to join him in roasting the guy, but who knew that when he turned his head, he would see Chu He hurriedly walking away? He immediately panicked: “Where are you going? These turtle bastards are here to poach the deal! Hurry up and come back to hold down the fort!”
Chu He turned back. His jaw was tightly clenched, his entire expression a bit off: “I’m leaving first. Call me later if you need anything.”
Mayor Huang grabbed him and wouldn’t let go: “What on earth is going on?”
Chu He wanted to break free, but a fat man of over three hundred jin didn’t have a grip you could easily shake off. If they kept tussling, even the provincial people would notice them. In his urgency, Chu He had no choice but to hold Mayor Huang down and say in a low voice: “That man surnamed Zhou and I are old acquaintances…”
“What? You two have a grudge?”
“I once cast a technique on him. When we meet again, within the time it takes for one stick of incense to burn, as long as I don’t call out to him, he won’t notice me. That stick of incense is the time window left for me to run. I’m going home first. Tomorrow, after you send these provincial people away, then come find me.”
Mayor Huang was completely baffled, but he only saw Chu He hurriedly break free and stride away.
“I heard someone just jumped off a building here. Ah, it took us such a hassle to find you—what, the police have already come?” Zhou Yi’s enthusiastic voice carried from afar: “Ah, next time you have trouble, just come find me directly! Me! I love trouble the most!”
Aida: “…”
“You don’t know, being cooped up in the office all day is fucking suffocating. It’s so hard to get out on fieldwork that I wish I could stay outside a few more days! Oh, and little beauty, you say I met you the moment I came out—doesn’t that mean you and I are fated?”
Yan Lan Yu: “…Mr. Zhou is joking.”
“Not joking, not joking,” Zhou Yi said with a smile: “You don’t know, my iron mouth is straight and especially accurate. If I say we’re fated, then we’re definitely fated. Whether it’s good fate or ill fate, we’ll talk about that later—Hey, Mayor Huang! What are you standing there stunned for! Didn’t you say you were going to select the construction site? Is the site selected yet or not?”
The corner of Mayor Huang’s mouth twitched. “…No.”
Zhou Yi followed Mayor Huang’s gaze and looked toward the construction site entrance. “Then what are you still standing there for? Come select it.”
—Right in the direction his gaze fell, Chu He was striding toward the Red Flag car parked not far away.
Zhou Yi seemed not to notice him at all, turning his head without a care.
However, at this very moment, a police car that was preparing to leave in the distance suddenly stopped. The precinct captain ran down hurriedly, phone in hand: “CEO Chu—”
To outsiders, this must have been an extremely comical scene: Zhou Yi, Aida, and Yan Lan Yu stood in a tripartite standoff facing one another. Not far away, Chu He was leaving without looking back. And Mayor Huang stood at the midpoint of the straight line between Zhou Yi and Chu He, desperately using his massive body to block any chance of Zhou Yi discovering Chu He;
On the other side, the city police bureau precinct captain was running and shouting “CEO Chu” while gasping for breath, as if his ass were on fire. His commotion was so great that everyone else present, including Director Li from the Provincial Foreign Guest Reception Office, turned in unison to look in Chu He’s direction.
“CEO Chu!” The precinct captain finally grabbed Chu He, completely failing to notice the latter’s face suddenly turning a bit pale: “There’s an urgent matter, CEO Chu. Just now the sub-bureau received an emergency call. Your home…”
Chu He interrupted him while keeping his footsteps moving toward the car, “I’m on my way home right now.”
“Your house is on fire!” The precinct captain said earnestly: “The city fire bureau has already mobilized and is rushing to your home. At present, it seems there are no casualties. You don’t need to worry!”
Chu He finally couldn’t help snapping: “I said I’m on my way back!”
—At this very moment, it was as if an invisible timer in the void went click, the second hand returning to zero.
Zhou Yi turned his head, as if only just discovering the commotion over there.
“What’s going on? Who’s that over there?”
Chu He pushed the precinct captain away with one hand while reaching for the Red Flag car door with the other; but at this moment, Zhou Yi behind him furrowed his brows, seeming to sense something unusual from that familiar silhouette.
“—Who’s over there?”
Chu He’s hand was already on the car door.
“Hold it right there!”
Chu He’s movement halted mid-air. A hand was already on his shoulder. He turned back to see Zhou Yi appearing behind him.
Zhou Yi’s face was even more breathtakingly handsome up close. Beneath high, prominent brow bones similar to Westerners were deep, bright eyes—truly what one would call devilishly charming and deeply affectionate, gaze like the sea. If it were a lovestruck young girl, being stared at so intently for a few seconds, without him saying a word, she would probably already have fallen deeply in love and pledged herself to him.
But Chu He was very calm. Not only calm, but also very innocent: “May I ask who you…”
Zhou Yi stared at his face without blinking, with the momentum of not only seeing through his skin but also digging out the marrow from his bones to take a look.
He was so focused that even Mayor Huang got a bit scared. Just as he was suspecting whether this pretty boy sent down from the province had some strange fetish, Zhou Yi smiled and released Chu He, saying: “Sorry, from behind you look exactly like an old acquaintance of mine. I got excited and mistook you for him. My apologies, my apologies.”
Mayor Huang’s heart relaxed. He couldn’t help adding an extra comment: “What kind of old acquaintance?”
Zhou Yi said with particular depth of feeling: “My ex-wife.”
Mayor Huang: “…”
Chu He: “……………………”
The corner of Mayor Huang’s mouth twitched suspiciously: “Little Zhou, don’t blame me for speaking unpleasantly. Although this CEO Chu is a bit thin, he’s still a grown man. For your ex-wife’s frame to resemble his, isn’t that a bit too…”
“You don’t understand, Old Huang!” Zhou Yi said seriously: “My ex-wife, they are the cinnabar mole on my heart that will never fade, the white lotus that will never wither! No matter who he looks like now, even if he looked like you, I’d still love him!”
Mayor Huang said nothing more. From the expression on that fat face, he was already so wind-scattered that he couldn’t get a single word out.
Chu He couldn’t listen anymore. He stepped back twice, turned, and got in the car: “You all chat first. My house is on fire. I’m going home first.”
Zhou Yi immediately grabbed the car door: “Where do you live?”
“…Mr. Zhou, please let go.”
“Hey—won’t let go, won’t let go. Where do you live? Meeting is fate. Your house catching fire is such a big deal, how can we not go see the excitement?”
In an instant, everyone’s expression became as wind-scattered as Mayor Huang’s. Even the corner of Chu He’s eye twitched repeatedly. He couldn’t help pointing at Yan Lan Yu: “Isn’t Mr. Zhou’s fate supposed to be with him over there?”
“Ah, CEO Chu, you don’t understand! Fate also has its depths and levels! That you look like my ex-wife—although it’s only about three or four percent resemblance—but the fate between us runs deep. Although I can’t say it’s deeper than mountains or the sea, at the very least… Hey! Don’t go!”
The Red Flag car roared away, exhaust fumes spraying Zhou Yi in the face.
“…” Zhou Yi wiped his face and said helplessly: “I just wanted to ask him, if his car broke down…”
Before he could finish, the Red Flag up ahead let out a loud BANG! Immediately after, white smoke rose from the hood, and it stopped moving.
“…whether he’d be willing to come ride in ours.” Zhou Yi said innocently.
Mayor Huang had no choice but to get into that dazzling black Mulsanne with Chu He. As for Aida’s Japanese party, they excused themselves by saying it was getting late and took their leave, arranging to return to the development center tomorrow to discuss the engineering blueprints.
Mayor Huang was utterly baffled: “How could my car just break down?!”
No one in the car spoke. Even the subordinates from their provincial foreign guest reception office all played mute gourds in unison. Only Zhou Yi suddenly leaned over and asked with great interest: “Does CEO Chu have any preference for Red Flag cars?”
Chu He: “…”
“Then is CEO Chu still able to get used to riding in my car?”
Chu He turned his head away, propping his chin on one hand, completely unwilling to speak to him.
His subordinates should have already been accustomed to Zhou Yi’s habit of randomly having fits. Each of their faces was set like underground operatives. It was Fatty Huang with his cheap mouth who couldn’t help but snipe: “Whether the Red Flag is good or not, it’s still assigned by the city. It can’t compare to your province’s deep pockets, where even the foreign guest office gets luxury cars worth nearly ten million. How can our little backwater city compete?”
Zhou Yi was all smiles: “Ah—you’re too kind. No matter how rich our province is, we can’t waste money like that. To tell the truth, I bought this car myself. I spent some money on modifications back then, then left it there and forgot to drive it. Speaking of which, it’s already several years old…”
“Little Zhou’s family is also in business?” Mayor Huang, as a fat man satisfied with two chickens a day, at this moment felt his heart practically twisting in pain.
“What business? Just saving up and living off the old capital. The family foundation might not even be as thick as that little Japanese guy’s.” Zhou Yi turned toward Chu He with a face full of smiles, seemingly completely unbothered that Chu He was treating him like air: “Us men have hard lives, you know. We have to work hard at our jobs, and save up money to support our wives and kids. One moment of carelessness and the wife becomes an ex-wife—I’m just saying, why don’t we just kidnap that little Japanese guy and extort him? I see that Aida family has a thick foundation. Maybe we can squeeze out a hundred or two hundred billion for my ex-wife as alimony…”
The corner of Mayor Huang’s mouth twitched for a long while. With his head full of black lines, he turned to Li Hu: “Director Li…”
“Shh,” Li Hu seemingly casually shifted her bottom, sitting a bit farther from Zhou Yi, then whispered: “I know what you want to ask. Don’t ask. Yes, just assume he’s not normal…”
As they spoke, the car had already arrived before the Zhang family villa. This place was also quite a distance from the city center. The nearby villa cluster was all expansive and sparsely situated, so no neighbors came out to watch the excitement. Only two fire trucks were parked before the smoke-wreathed brick-and-tile structure, and the ground was covered with water foaming with white bubbles.
The villa’s facade was still more or less intact, but the southeast corner bedroom had completely burned and collapsed. At a glance, it would take at least three to five months to rebuild.
Several little maids huddled on the steps, shivering. Zhang Shun and that little bastard Huang Pian were doing their utmost to comfort them. Hearing the car horn, they turned around: “Hey—! Bro!”
Chu He strode forward, raising his palm to swing it down.
Zhang Shun immediately dodged to the side: “Bro! You want to hit me?!”
“CEO Chu, CEO Chu! Misunderstanding! It’s all a misunderstanding!” Huang Pian saw the situation going south and hurriedly rushed up to break up the fight: “This really has nothing to do with Zhang Shun! Ah, it was all that Master Fang—huh? Uncle?”
Mayor Huang came galloping over, truly wanting to kick his good-for-nothing nephew flying to the ends of the earth: “How the fuck are you here again?!”
“Uncle, listen to my explanation…”
Mayor Huang immediately covered his nephew’s mouth and dragged him to the side: “Don’t you know you only became a spirit after the founding of the nation?! If you don’t keep a low profile when you’ve got nothing going on, are you looking to die?!”
Huang Pian said with a mournful face: “It really wasn’t my fault. It was that Fang guy rushing to his own death…”
It turned out that the moment Huang Pian heard the Zhang family was haunted, he immediately got excited. The little yellow weasel had known since birth that he was a monster. He didn’t have the same fear of ghosts that ordinary humans did. Rather than helping Zhang Shun, he was more interested in watching the excitement. So he immediately invited Master Fang, who had been quite popular in the city recently, into the Zhang family home.
That Master Fang was quite famous in Hong Kong and the Guangdong region. He had come to H City supposedly to travel and refine magical artifacts. All that mystical stuff aside, he genuinely had some skill in fortune-telling and exorcising ghosts. Several local wealthy families had successively invited him to look at their feng shui. It was said that of all the wealthy families in H City who had never invited Master Fang, only the Zhang family remained.
Although Master Fang claimed to be a worldly expert, he still had to eat in the secular world. He had long been thinking of connecting with the Zhang family network. Unfortunately, while the master had the will, CEO Chu was iron-hearted. If not for Second Young Master Zhang delivering himself to the door this time, Master Fang still wouldn’t have been able to get through the Zhang family’s door.
Zhang Shun recounted his tale of encountering a ghost like a fool. Master Fang felt it was easy to handle. The Zhang family used to mine ore. It was said that quite a few people had died in mine collapses. This was clearly a grievance-filled ghost coming to collect a debt. A proper memorial service to send it off would settle the matter.
Thus the master entered the Zhang family mansion in grand style. After one round, cold sweat soaked his back.
—The Zhang family’s feng shui was a fucking Corpse-Nourishing Formation!
Ordinary business families would set up a feng shui array to gather wealth and ensure prosperous family fortune. That was only to be expected. But when this Zhang family villa was built, the front window faced the back window, a sword piercing straight through the main hall. The ceiling was even deliberately built with a narrow slit, creating both a Sky-Severing cut and directly facing north to form a Light Sha. It was as malicious as malicious could be. What was especially terrifying was that the bedroom of Second Young Master Zhang’s older brother happened to fall right on the formation’s core. An ordinary person living here for two or three years would have been completely wiped out long ago. How could they still be running a company and doing business?
Master Fang wiped his cold sweat and asked: “Second Young Master, is your elder brother not in good health?”
Zhang Shun was overjoyed: “As expected of a master, to even know that! I always said he looks like he’s suffering from kidney deficiency all day. Recently there are even signs of excessive indulgence…”
If this were Zhou Yi, this formation wouldn’t even be called a Corpse-Nourishing Formation. He could casually set up a lounge chair and sunbathe in the Light Sha. If it were Yan Lan Yu, he might wonder whether the homeowner had deliberately arranged this formation and whether there was some deeper meaning to it, then silently retreat and pretend he didn’t know.
But this Master Fang, first, didn’t expect that Second Young Master Zhang’s brother could be ruthless enough to sacrifice himself and fall into demonhood, using his own heart’s blood to worship the Demon Venerable. Second, he was blinded by the bright check in Second Young Master Zhang’s hand and wanted to show off his skill.
—And then things went wrong.
“Th-the master had just taken out the copper coins, paper figurine, and rooster blood when the paper figurine caught fire… Zhang Shun and I hurriedly got water to splash on it, but no matter how we splashed, it burned brighter and brighter. In the end the entire bedroom burned to to to to to ashes…”
Chu He asked: “You burned it in my bedroom?”
Huang Pian nodded timidly.
Chu He took a deep breath, feeling that he was barely restraining the urge to beat this little yellow weasel. He turned and walked toward his bedroom, which had already become charred rubble, and sat down alone on the ruins.
Zhang Shun hesitated repeatedly and walked over trembling: “Bro… Bro.”
His brother ignored him.
“Bro, hit me if you want. I didn’t mean to…”
Chu He turned his head away.
His reaction like this made Zhang Shun feel even worse. Although he had indeed hated this cheap older brother when he was young and didn’t understand things, and had found it unacceptable when his father left him an inheritance, over all these years, to say he had no feelings for his brother would be a lie.
Moreover, his brother treated him well. He gave him money when he wanted money, cars when he wanted cars. Although his attitude was cold, in reality he granted a hundred out of a hundred requests, never letting him have the slightest dissatisfaction. The year his father died, he fell ill, and it was his brother who watched over him tirelessly without removing his clothes, not leaving the house for half a month. When he was young and heartbroken over a breakup, drowning his sorrows, his brother searched for him shop by shop in the bar district in the middle of the night, not minding that he was vomited all over. A Ferrari worth several million—he said he wanted it and it was given, even though his brother himself didn’t drive such an expensive car. He enjoyed himself with beauties by his side every day, while his brother was so busy with business he didn’t even have a girlfriend…
“Bro, I really won’t dare next time!” Zhang Shun raised his hand and fiercely slapped himself across the face. Just as he was about to slap himself a second time, his brother snapped: “Stop!”
Zhang Shun looked at his brother pitifully, his expression rather like an abandoned husky.
Chu He’s expression was strange, feeling a bit helpless and a bit not knowing whether to laugh or cry. After a long while, he kicked his brother flying: “Go go go, get the hell away from me!”
Zhang Shun clutched his bottom and ran. He ran a dozen or so meters before turning back to see that his brother wasn’t chasing him, and let out a breath of relief.
Second Young Master Zhang touched his face, confirming that it was neither swollen nor disfigured, then slowly circled around the ruins and walked toward the villa entrance—the butler was directing the servants to move things back and forth and tally the property losses.
Mayor Huang and Huang Pian, uncle and nephew, stood on the empty ground, their expressions strange as they looked at the steps.
On the steps sat a handsome young man, surrounded by several fresh-as-flowers, tender-as-willows little maids, solemnly reading their palms:
“Your love line is very messy, indicating a bumpy road in romance. Perhaps there will be partings in life and death. But don’t worry, you won’t be separated for more than a few years. You are fated to have a noble husband. In the future you definitely won’t have to worry about food and drink, and you’ll have two children in three years… What? Boy or girl? Ah, let me tell you, these days daughters are better. A daughter is a cozy little cotton-padded jacket. A son means you’ve incurred a debt. Two sons and you can see the end of this lifetime…”
The corner of Zhang Shun’s mouth twitched. “…Who is this guy?”
The handsome guy looked up and accurately spotted Zhang Shun in the crowd. In an instant, it was like the People’s Red Army seeing the Party organization. He rushed over excitedly in quick steps:
“Dear! Dear, your brow is dark with the aura of bloodshed. Hurry and come buy a peace talisman from me! Looking at how fated we are, I’ll give you a five percent discount!”
“Are you fucking mental?” Zhang Shun turned to leave. Then, for some reason, he actually tripped over his own left foot with his right on flat ground. With a splat, he fell face-down heavily onto the ground.
Everyone around: “…”
This fall was truly vicious. Even falling down a flight of stairs wouldn’t have been this bad. It took Zhang Shun a good long while to struggle up from the ground, blood flowing from his head. He saw two streams of nosebleed mixed with snot gushing down.
“Great Immortal,” Zhang Shun asked, tears streaming down his face: “May I ask the great immortal’s honorable name, and how much does the peace talisman sell for?”
The handsome guy pulled out a crumpled tissue from his pants pocket and stuffed it into his hand, saying sympathetically: “I’m your brother’s friend. My name is Zhou Yi. Since you and I are fated to meet, the peace talisman originally priced at twelve thousand, you can take it for eight thousand eight hundred.”
“…Friend, and you still charge eight thousand eight hundred?!”
Zhou Yi squatted down, holding Zhang Shun’s face streaming with blood and tears, and said seriously: “More than a friend? CEO Chu’s younger brother is my own younger brother! No, even closer than a blood brother! Come, dear brothers settle accounts clearly. Will you be paying by card or check? There’s a two percent processing fee for card payments.”
Zhang Shun got up and turned to leave.
Just at this moment, a subordinate from the foreign guest office was reversing the car past them. They only saw Zhou Yi stand up with some disappointment, letting out a long sigh: “I’m really not what I used to be… Back then, the gods and Buddhas of the Nine Heavens and Ten Realms were crying and begging me to sell them two peace talismans. They wouldn’t even agree if I charged too little… Now no one wants one for eight thousand eight hundred…”
The subordinate immediately jumped out of the car, dropped to his knees, and hugged his thigh: “Boss Zhou! Sell me a peace talisman! Is eighty-eight thousand Alipay transfer acceptable?”
“What are you thinking? You and I have no fate. Eight hundred eighty thousand and I still won’t take it.” Zhou Yi amiably patted his head, turned, and strolled away.
Chu He sat on the charred rubble. When he saw his brother fall head-first with a splat, the corner of his eye twitched—but it was only a twitch. Then he turned his head and pretended he didn’t see it.
“Don’t worry, Boss Zhou was just playing a joke on him.” Li Hu came over with graceful, swaying steps, her red lips curving into a heart-stopping smile. She proactively extended her hand and shook Chu He’s: “Hello, CEO Chu. Boss Zhou is just this kind of mystical, mystical person. I hope he hasn’t made you laugh.”
Chu He suddenly became very gentle toward this beauty: “It’s fine. Having personality is a good thing… What do you mean by calling him ‘Boss’?”
Li Hu covered her lips and smiled: “That’s his nickname. Everyone in our office calls him that. Actually, don’t let his slick surface fool you. When he gets serious, he’s a very reliable person. It’s just that he’s a bit of a smooth talker.”
Chu He smiled upon hearing this: “No wonder his wife ran off with someone else.”
Not far away, Zhou Yi happened to pass by. Whether he heard it or not, his back seemed to suddenly stiffen.
—Facts proved that CEO Chu’s reverse scales truly could not be touched. The grudge of Zhang Shun’s flat-ground fall was avenged in less than five minutes.
“No no, it’s not what you imagine.” Li Hu knew she had misspoken and hurriedly made amends: “Boss Zhou and his ex-wife had two children, but both had accidents. Suffering family tragedy after family tragedy, that’s why he…”
Chu He nodded understandingly: “Director Li seems to know her colleague quite well.”
“Are you implying something?” Li Hu laughed so hard her branches trembled: “Then that’s even more out of the question. Although this Zhou fellow and your younger brother are both dashing young talents, in my eyes, a steady and calm man like CEO Chu is far more attractive.”
Chu He tilted his head and glanced at her.
Under the setting sun, his eyes were slightly narrowed. From his tall nose bridge to his lips, and from his chin to his neck, they formed an elegant yet somewhat ambiguous curve. That half-smile expression seemed to cause an indescribable change in his seemingly plain face. Even someone like Li Hu, who was used to seeing handsome men, was stunned for a moment.
Just at this moment, Zhang Shun ran off to wash his face, stuck an OK bandage on his nose, and came running over bruised and swollen: “Bro—”
“Beautiful lady,” Chu He extended his hand wearing a Vacheron Constantin diamond watch, and asked with graceful bearing: “Might I have the honor of inviting you to a late-night snack tonight?”
Li Hu: “…”
Zhang Shun: “…”
Zhou Yi not far away: “………………”
“Then it’s settled, beautiful lady.” Chu He smiled: “Tonight at nine, I’ll pick you up at your hotel.”
__
Author’s note:
Mini-theater:
Zhou Yi: “CEO Chu, would you condescend to ride in my car? If not, I’ll have to summon an ancient divine beast to carry you. Do you prefer a flying serpent or a Western white tiger?”
Chu He: “…Zhang Shun, call a taxi to pick me up. Quick.”
- Zhou Yi (周一), is pronounced identically to the Chinese word for Monday. In response, Mayor Huang sarcastically introduces himself as Zhou Ri (周日), which is the Chinese word for Sunday. ↩︎
