In the dim hallway, Yu Xun’s voice was very clear.
Yun Ci thought to himself, who wants to listen?
He wasn’t a child anymore.
Both of them were dressed very lightly when they went out in the middle of the night.
Yun Ci’s white sweater was very loose, looking very soft, contrasting with his somewhat cold eyebrows and eyes. The sleeves of the sweater were very long, and whenever he felt uncomfortable or said something he didn’t mean, he habitually tucked his fingers into the sleeves.
The next second, he turned his head and said, “If you insist on telling it, go ahead.”
“Yeah,” Yu Xun’s fingers touched the screen, “I’m the one who insists on telling it.”
In his eyes, Yun Ci at this moment looked like some kind of animal from a story, clearly wanting to listen with his ears twitching, but his face awkwardly turned to another direction.
“The little fox lived in the forest and heard that there was something called ‘candy’ in the human world… it really wanted to know what ‘candy’ tasted like.”
“It met a little rabbit and asked if the rabbit had ever eaten candy.”
“The rabbit said, yes, it had. Carrot-flavored.”
“……”
Yu Xun’s tone was quite unique when telling fairy tales.
That casual tone, through the story, turned into something light-hearted, making people relax gradually. Yun Ci’s mind started to conjure up images of various small animals.
Time ticked by minute by minute.
The simple story of the fox buying candy was coming to an end.
“……The little fox finally tasted the candy.”
“It said the candy tasted like the colorful candy wrappers.”
At the end, Yu Xun added his own comment: “Not bad; for the first time telling a story, it’s passable.”
Then Yu Xun asked, “Are you sleepy now?”
Yun Ci: “Check the time.”
Yu Xun glanced at the time.
Yun Ci: “Only five minutes have passed, do you think I’m sleepy?”
“Then I’ll tell another one,” Yu Xun scrolled down the page, “Want to listen?”
Yun Ci thought that he only needed to say he was sleepy to end this session and return to the dorm to lie down and wait for morning.
Why did he engage in this conversation?
Yun Ci tucked his fingers further into his sleeves: “If you insist on continuing.” He pursed his lips, the line of his lips stiff, his eyes flickering, “……I can reluctantly listen.”
After he finished speaking, he realized that Yu Xun hadn’t responded.
In the faint light, he looked up to see Yu Xun looking at him sideways with a faint smile in his eyes.
Yun Ci was inexplicably annoyed and wanted to get up and leave: “What are you laughing at?”
Yu Xun, afraid he might actually leave, instinctively reached out to grab him: “I’m touched that you’re willing to reluctantly listen; can’t I be?”
But Yun Ci didn’t leave.
Instead, the outstretched hand loosely encircled his wrist.
The boy’s wrist bones were prominent, the bones hard and thin, with not much flesh to grasp.
After a couple of seconds, Yun Ci tugged at his wrist.
Yu Xun let go.
“I thought you were going to leave.” Yu Xun explained.
As he spoke, Yu Xun’s fingers moved slightly, and then the page turned to the next story. This time, he didn’t directly read the content. He lowered his eyes and read the title first: “……Stories to put your partner to sleep, next.”
“…………”
“Oh,” after reading, he added, “This is the title, I don’t need to read it. I got too into it earlier and didn’t notice.”
Yun Ci’s tightly pressed lips became even stiffer.
Anyway, he had already said whatever he wanted.
This time Yun Ci really stood up. Before leaving, he tossed two words: “I’m sleepy.”
Yu Xun put away his phone, still sitting on the steps, and asked him: “Today……”
Yun Ci paused slightly.
Yu Xun didn’t ask him what he was going to do tomorrow, or if he was going to celebrate, he only asked: “Are you still going to class today?”
After a while, Yun Ci replied: “No, I’ll take a leave.”
Before getting up to follow him, Yu Xun, sitting in the narrow hallway being blown by the wind, suddenly remembered a small incident that happened when he went to Yun Ci’s house.
That day, Yan Yue let him into Yun Ci’s room to do homework together.
After Yun Ci’s cold face and his shouting, “Isn’t there a table in the living room?” and “Then I’ll go write in the living room” had no effect, the two of them stood at the room door, facing each other in silence for a long time.
Or rather, Yun Ci should have been glaring at him.
Before starting homework, he glanced around Yun Ci’s room.
Back then, it was popular to put posters of basketball stars on the walls; the most enthusiastic activity was playing basketball, and Yun Ci was no exception.
After looking around, Yun Ci nearly wanted to punch his eyes black: “What are you looking at?”
Yu Xun, with an attitude of “I’ll look if I want to,” lazily asked him: “Should I do my homework with my eyes closed?”
“……”
“You’d better, right now, open the door and leave,” Yun Ci said at the time, “Tell Lao Yan that you finished your homework at school and don’t need to do it.”
Yu Xun: “I haven’t finished.”
Yun Ci: “I don’t care if you’ve finished, just say you have.”
Yu Xun, with great interest, said: “Then what about my homework?”
Yun Ci: “Get up earlier tomorrow.”
He added, “Go copy it.”
“……”
In the end, Yun Ci conceded. When Yu Xun sat down at the desk, he noticed a photo frame turned face down on the desk.
The wood had aged and become old.
He reached out, just to flip the frame back to its original position, when Yun Ci, who was sitting on the bed doing homework, suddenly exploded: “Who told you to touch it?”
In a few quick steps, Yun Ci crossed to the desk, pressed down on the frame, then quickly shoved it into the drawer.
“Don’t touch other people’s things,” His eyes seemed to have some red veins, his gaze cold and forceful, “Don’t you understand that?”
Yu Xun apologized, explaining that he thought the frame had flipped over and didn’t see anything.
The first half was true.
But the second half was a bit of a stretch.
Because in the second he flipped it over, although it wasn’t clear, he did see three people in the photo. One of them was easily recognizable as their high school principal, Director Yan. The short boy in the middle should be a young Yun Ci, but in that brief glance, he couldn’t see clearly. The person on the far right was even more unclear, and being unfamiliar, he couldn’t remember the appearance in just a second, only recalling it was a long-haired woman in a skirt.
It seemed to be his mother.
“Tap.”
Footsteps in the dormitory hallway echoed a little.
Yu Xun came back to his senses, looking at Yun Ci’s back under the flickering sensor lights.
Then the next moment.
Yun Ci turned around, awkwardly saying, “Aren’t you going back?”
Yu Xun put away his phone and stood up from the steps: “I am.”
*
For the first time, Yun Ci fell asleep on the night of December 31st.
Although, after returning from the hallway, he only slept for two or three hours before waking up again.
He got up before everyone else and before the dormitory building was even open.
Opening the dormitory door and stepping out, the cold wind hit him in the face.
At this time, there weren’t many people on campus, only a few diligent students rushing to the study room or those who had spent the whole night there returning.
He walked to the bus stop, waiting for the bus, and looked down at his phone.
He hadn’t checked his WeChat Moments that day, guessing it would be full of New Year’s celebrations and greetings.
He skipped over some classmates’ blessings and opened Yan Yue’s chat.
Dad: [What time will you be back?]
Dad: [Do you want me to pick you up?]
Dad: [I bought the flowers, your mom’s favorite violets.]
yc: [I’m on my way.]
After replying, Yun Ci put away his phone. When the bus arrived, he got on, and after getting off, he turned into a flower shop.
This flower shop was right at the entrance of his residential area, with an old sign that had been there for many years.
When Yun Xiao was still around, she often stopped by this flower shop after work to buy flowers. Back then, the living room at home was different, with strong feminine touches, and there was always a bouquet of violets on the dining table.
Sunlight streamed in during the early morning, and his younger self was buried in the covers, gently awakened by a woman’s soft voice: “Xiao Ci, time to get up.”
……
But these memories were already very distant.
Each time he recalled them, he found they were so far away that the details were becoming blurry.
The flower shop owner remembered him, a woman in her forties who had run the shop since she was young. She not only remembered him but also the woman who used to buy flowers here more than ten years ago.
“Here to buy flowers?” The shop owner wiped her hands and skillfully walked to the violets, “How many bouquets should I wrap for you?”
Yun Ci responded with an “uh-huh,” saying, “I’ll pick them myself.”
The shop owner didn’t say much, watching the boy in the white jacket squat down and carefully pick out one bouquet after another.
After he was done, the shop owner wrapped them in pure white wrapping paper, meticulously adding a layer of white gauze inside, and finally tying a beautiful bow: “Thirty yuan in total.”
Yun Ci paid, and he pushed the door open to leave.
After he left, the glass door automatically closed with a “clang,” isolating the subsequent conversation inside the flower shop. A middle-aged woman who was there to chat with the owner, biting a walnut, asked, “……Thirty? So cheap for this bouquet? Don’t you usually sell it for sixty?”
The shop owner sighed slightly, “I don’t make money off him, just charge him the cost price.”
“This kid’s mother died in a car accident more than ten years ago, on the 31st, the day before New Year’s Day. The date is too special, I always remember it.”
“Every year at this time, he comes to buy flowers for his mother.”
“This year……” The shop owner calculated, “He should be in college by now.”
The shop owner added, “The accident back then caused quite a stir around here. It was all over the news—a truck driver fell asleep at the wheel. I heard they were out for a celebration that day, with the child.”
“And,” she glanced at Yun Ci’s back one last time, saying, “I heard that his mother could have survived but died protecting the child.”
……
When Yun Ci returned home, Yan Yue had just changed clothes.
It was rare for him to dress so formally, in a black suit jacket pressed without a crease, hair slicked back with wax, sitting on the sofa with a bouquet in hand, as if going to an important meeting.
There was a moment of silence when the father and son met.
A kind of unspoken understanding.
“That outfit looks nice.”
Yan Yue said, “Your mom used to say you looked good in white.”
“When you were little, she said you looked like a little girl and wanted to dress you in pink, but you seemed to understand, and cried whenever she mentioned it.”
Yun Ci: “Yeah. She liked to put my hair in little pigtails.”
These old stories had been told last year.
And the year before, and the year before that.
Because the woman only spent six years in this house, the father and son had been talking about the past from those six years for the next decade.
Before going to the cemetery, Yun Ci went to his room for a while.
He sat at his desk and opened a drawer.
In the drawer, besides various awards he had won over the years, exam transcripts, and graduation photos, there was also a photo frame.
He usually kept it face down, not because he didn’t want to see it, but because he didn’t dare to.
After a while, he picked up the frame and looked at the woman in the photo.
Her smile was faint, and she had soft brown hair and a cotton dress.
The background was a park.
At that time, Yan Yue was just a teacher, youthful in appearance, and wearing glasses.
He looked at it for a few moments, wiped the dust off the frame, and then put it back.
In the morning, the cemetery was cold and quiet.
The cemetery was filled with rows and rows of tombstones, standing there in silent repose.
Yun Ci walked up the steps, not needing to search intentionally. He knew exactly where the tombstone with the name “Yun Xiao” was.
All the tombstones looked the same, but in his eyes, one of them was different.
When Yan Yue talked to Yun Xiao, Yun Ci stood aside, giving Yan Yue some space.
“I brought Xiao Ci to see you.”
Yan Yue bent down and placed the flowers in his hand in front of the tombstone: “He got into college, Nanyang University, Faculty of Law. He has excellent grades and is very diligent in his studies…”
Yun Ci vaguely heard these few sentences.
The rest of the words were inaudible.
While he waited by the side, he wondered what to say to Yun Xiao and what good things to say, like how he used to talk about his grades.
He was lost in thought until Yan Yue called him: “Say a few words to your mom.”
Only then did Yun Ci walk over. Facing the tombstone, he tried hard to recall the woman’s face from the photo earlier: “Mom.”
“My situation, Dad should have told you most of it.”
“College life… it’s interesting,” Yun Ci said, but he didn’t know what else to say. He realized that a significant part of his life involved someone he couldn’t avoid mentioning, “That— that very annoying person from high school, he’s in the same dorm as me in college.”
Using the word “annoying” to describe Yu Xun didn’t quite fit now, so he added, “He’s actually not that annoying.”
After that, he didn’t say anything more.
A long silence.
In his mind flashed the phrase, “What will our Xiao Ci become in the future?”
And more than ten years ago in the hospital, when he pulled out the needle and ran out, he heard, “Our doctors didn’t do much; in that situation, it was actually his mother who saved him. She left the hope of living to her child.”
In that moment, many fragments flashed by.
In his third year of high school.
Yan Yue called him to the office: “My suggestion is that you apply for Nanyang University’s Faculty of Law as your first choice… You might have your own thoughts about your preferences, but this is very important, and you might not understand now…”
Standing in the office, he thought of the woman saying when he was very young, “Xiao Ci, watching TV? What are you watching, a lawyer? Will our Xiao Ci be a lawyer in the future?”
…
“Just apply for it,” Yun Ci heard his own voice, “I have no objections.”
…
Finally, before leaving the cemetery, Yun Ci bowed his head very low, almost talking to himself: “Mom… have I become someone you’re proud of?”
*
Yun Ci took a day off, spending the latter half of the day at home, doing nothing but locking himself in his room, trying to take a nap, but couldn’t fall asleep.
By evening, he was on his way back.
He hadn’t checked his phone all day, fearing someone would call him, so he had turned it off.
When he turned it back on, a bunch of unread messages popped up, especially from the dorm group chat.
[608 Brothers Group]
Luo Sifang: [I’m broken!!!]
Luo Sifang: [I had everything planned out, New Year’s Eve was going to be my gaming night, but the power’s out tonight.]
Wang Zhuang: [What power outage, what what, I’m still in class, has it been announced?]
Luo Sifang: [The dorm manager just posted the notice downstairs.]
Luo Sifang: [The power’s been out since the afternoon and will be until tomorrow morning.]
Peng Yiyuan: [A power outage on New Year’s Eve is a bit much…]
Liu Sheng: [But I think maybe the school did it on purpose?]
Liu Sheng: [Afraid we’d celebrate too wildly and something might happen.]
Wang Zhuang: [Sheng-ge’s got a point.]
[…]
The black profile picture sent only one message.
yx: [I copied the class notes for you; they’re on your desk.]
Sitting in the car, Yun Ci thought for a moment before replying.
yc: [Thanks.]
Yu Xun replied quickly.
yx: [Back already?]
yx: [No other meaning, just that copying notes was a bit tiring, and I want to eat the fried rice from the first floor of the cafeteria. If you’re back, can you get me a portion?]
yc: [On my way.]
Notes in exchange for a meal.
Very fair.
Yun Ci didn’t think much about it. After getting off the car, he headed to the cafeteria, and as he approached, he saw the person who was “tired from copying notes” at the entrance.
Yu Xun leaned against the wall, fiddling with his phone, striking a cool pose in the cold wind. Who knew who he was waiting for?
“…”
Yun Ci stopped and considered turning back.
But it was too late. In full view, Yu Xun put away his phone and greeted him.
Then Yu Xun took two steps towards him and, seemingly unintentionally but actually intentionally, explained: “Oh, I was too hungry, so I came to the cafeteria myself. What a coincidence.”
Coincidence?
Quite the schemer.
At this point, Yun Ci couldn’t be bothered to struggle. He walked past him straight to the cafeteria: “Which fried rice? Choose for yourself.”
Yun Ci hadn’t eaten all day, and he didn’t expect his only meal today to be with Yu Xun in the cafeteria.
It was late, so there weren’t many people in the cafeteria. Otherwise, tomorrow, Li Yan might come over, asking, “Were you two competing to see who could eat more fried rice, breaking new ground?”
The person opposite, who claimed to be “hungry,” was eating very slowly.
Yun Ci put down his chopsticks: “Did you even eat?”
Yu Xun wasn’t putting much effort into it, looking like he couldn’t eat the fried rice in front of him, casually picking at a few grains of rice and perfunctorily saying: “Just chewing slowly.”
Yun Ci couldn’t help but expose him: “…You already ate, didn’t you?”
Yu Xun poked at the rice a couple more times and then simply put down his chopsticks. He admitted: “I was afraid you hadn’t eaten.”
“…”
Yun Ci was stunned for a moment, then snapped out of it after a couple of seconds. He then started eating quickly, finishing the rest of his food in a few gulps, and stood up to end this encounter: “Let’s go.”
It was rare for the two of them to walk back together.
The way back was very similar to the path they had taken when they first started school.
Yu Xun said: “The lights are out tonight.”
Yun Ci: “I heard.”
This time, there was no significant distance between the two of them.
After walking for a while, Yun Ci suddenly stopped.
He looked up at the sky. In the past, you could often see stars in the night sky at Nanyang University, but tonight the sky was pitch black.
Yu Xun had just walked a bit before turning back to wait for him: “…What are you looking at?”
Yun Ci’s voice was very low: “The stars.”
He withdrew his gaze and added, “There are none today.”
In the first year after Yun Xiao passed away, he kept asking Yan Yue: After people die, do they really turn into stars? Will Mom be watching me from the sky?
…
Later, as he grew older, he understood that this was just an unrealistic fairy tale.
“Nothing,” Yun Ci finally said.
When they approached the dormitory building, he remembered the group chat’s mention of a power outage today. The dorm area, usually brightly lit, was now completely dark. The only light came from the strong flashlight the dorm manager carried while sitting at the entrance.
The flashlight suddenly swept across their faces and then moved to the wall, illuminating the clock. After checking the time, the dorm manager said, “You two aren’t late, go on in.”
Inside, it was even darker.
Usually, a few steps would trigger the sensor lights, but tonight, with the power outage, even the sensor lights were off, leaving everything pitch black.
Yu Xun turned on his phone’s flashlight.
As they climbed the stairs and before entering the dorm room, Yu Xun suddenly reached out and pulled him.
It was so dark that he aimed for his arm but accidentally grabbed Yun Ci’s wrist, just like the night before.
“?”
Yun Ci turned his head, unable to see Yu Xun’s face in the darkness, only hearing him say: “Do you want to see the stars?”
What stars?
There are none tonight.
Not only were there no stars, but the entire building was without any light.
Yu Xun’s words were puzzling. Yun Ci hesitated for a moment, then his wrist was released, and Yu Xun went to visit other dorm rooms. Recently, because they had hidden from dorm inspections together, everyone on their floor knew each other.
He returned after a while and opened the balcony door.
The wind from the balcony blew into the dorm room, startling Luo Sifang and the others, who had gone to bed early out of despair: “Damn, where’s the wind coming from, it’s so cold.”
“Power outages are heartbreaking,” Wang Zhuang said as he scratched his head and sat up, “but the cold wind is even more chilling.”
Seeing Yu Xun on the balcony, he said, “Yu-ge, a power outage is a power outage. The dorm is destined to be dark tonight. You don’t need to go to the balcony to be alone.”
“Who said it was destined to be dark,” Yu Xun said, holding his phone, “Believe it or not, it’ll light up soon.”
“?”
The next second.
His phone’s flashlight turned on.
But the flashlight’s light was weak, unable to penetrate the thick darkness of the night.
However, at that moment, the other dorm rooms on their floor started turning on their flashlights and lighting up.
Six people from the neighboring dorm waved their flashlights on the balcony and shouted: “Is this right, Yu-ge? I’ve turned it on—”
One dorm room after another.
After their floor lit up, the floors above and below, as well as the opposite building, noticed the commotion. People started coming out to see what was happening: “What are you guys doing?”
“Celebrating the holiday—Yu-ge said, the strong never complain about their environment!”
“If the school doesn’t have power, then from now on, I’ll be my own light—!”
“…”
This ridiculous slogan surprisingly spread across the buildings.
Although the neighboring buildings didn’t know who this “Yu-ge” was, some found it amusing and joined in.
In dormitory buildings, news spreads at the speed of light.
Soon, the entire dormitory area was lit up, forming a galaxy of lights within the campus.
Liu Sheng and the others got out of bed and joined in: “Should we play some music—what song?? I’ll play the guitar.”
After a while.
There were even sporadic fireworks outside, with dazzling sparks exploding bit by bit.
Someone leaned out the window and shouted: “Damn, who’s selling fireworks—how did they get into the school?”
Liu Zi’s voice came from below. He wore a mask, one foot on a bicycle, ready to run at any moment: “Bro—there’s no one outside the school! I couldn’t sell them! It’s so lively here, wanna buy some? I’m clearing out my stock.”
The dorm manager’s voice was completely drowned out: “What are you all doing?! Who told you to shout and scream, and where did those fireworks come from?!”
“…”
It was chaos.
The starlight formed by several buildings, and the fireworks crackling below.
As the countdown ended, December 31st passed.
The clock struck midnight.
The date changed.
2024, January 1st, 00:01.
Someone took the lead and shouted: “Happy New Year—”
“Happy New Year!!!”
“Damn, will the school report us tomorrow—”
“Don’t know, we’ll deal with it tomorrow—!”
Yun Ci stood on the chaotic yet splendid dormitory balcony.
Until Yu Xun also said “Happy New Year” to him, he realized that this person had indeed shown him the stars.
His pupils were illuminated by the flickering starlight, and he looked at Yu Xun’s equally bright eyes, saying “Happy New Year” for the first time on New Year’s Eve: “Happy New Year.”
After December 31st.
It’s a new year.
Ok I totally didn’t tear up this chapter at all!!!
Thanks so much for the translation!