“Not easy,” Ji Xun sighed with emotion.
“Not easy?” Yuan Yue asked, looking confused.
Yes, it took you long enough to realize that, Ji Xun thought to himself, though aloud he said, “Where did this child come from? That really isn’t easy.”
Yuan Yue’s attention was immediately diverted. Under normal circumstances, he would have realized that something was off with Ji Xun, but right now, his critical thinking had abandoned him. Like a drowning man, Yuan Yue clung to Ji Xun as if he were a lifeline, pouring everything out.
“It’s Qingqing’s child! These past few days…” He paused abruptly, then continued, “For a while now, I’ve been visiting and investigating various hospitals in the city, checking their records. I finally found Qingqing. She’s heavily pregnant…”
“That doesn’t mean the child is yours,” Ji Xun interrupted.
“…” Yuan Yue.
“…” Huo Ranyin.
You’re acting strange. Huo Ranyin looked at Ji Xun with a peculiar expression.
“It is mine.” Yuan Yue was surprisingly calm, refuting Ji Xun logically: “The hospital files show when Qingqing had her prenatal checkups. If you count backward, Qingqing was still with me when she conceived.”
“Oh—” Ji Xun drew out the word. “The child is yours, but she might not want to give it to you. Don’t get your hopes up too high.”
“…” Yuan Yue.
“…” Huo Ranyin.
Huo Ranyin couldn’t figure out if Ji Xun had become Yuan Yue’s enemy at some point without his knowledge. His words were truly like a hidden blade, piercing with every sentence.
“But the child is definitely mine.” Stung twice by Ji Xun, Yuan Yue actually calmed down, and much of his missing intelligence returned.
“That’s true,” Ji Xun nodded. “If you really want to fight for it, you might be able to win. Get a good lawyer, go to court; fighting for custody is still a possibility.”
“…Are you serious?” Even Yuan Yue hesitated now.
“Otherwise? You don’t want the child?” Ji Xun countered.
“Of course I want the child! It’s my child!” Yuan Yue hurried to say. “But no matter how much I want the child, I can’t force Qingqing and the child to be separated!”
“Got it,” Ji Xun nodded. “So you want a ‘buy one, get one free’ deal. Since the child is yours and Qingqing can’t bear to be separated from the child, you want to cook them in the same pot. Not bad; that’s a clever move.”
“Don’t call her Qingqing,” Yuan Yue忍 (endured) it, but eventually couldn’t help correcting Ji Xun. “Qingqing is what I call her.”
Huo Ranyin suddenly found Yuan Yue much more agreeable.
“Ji Xun, you’re my friend, right?” Yuan Yue caught his breath and asked again.
“Of course I’m your friend. Not just a friend, but a brother—the best of friends.” Ji Xun said.
“Then…”
“But everyone has a duty to distance themselves from a scumbag,” Ji Xun said blandly.
“…”
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re thinking.” Ji Xun raised an eyebrow, pointing his chopsticks at the dishes on the table. “You’re thinking that Xia Youqing is heavily pregnant, her family isn’t around, and you can’t be there to accompany her, so you might as well cut up vegetables and fruit every day to send some ‘warmth’…”
With every sentence Ji Xun spoke, Yuan Yue’s expression grew more guilty.
“And if you keep sending that warmth, you might just warm up her cold heart and chase her back, right?”
A glimmer of sunshine finally broke through on Yuan Yue’s face.
“Daydreaming,” Ji Xun evaluated in a single word.
The sunshine was swallowed by heavy clouds once more—clouds so heavy they made Yuan Yue’s shoulders slump. Even Huo Ranyin, watching from the sidelines, felt a touch of sympathy.
Ji Xun wasn’t just being mean for the sake of it. He quickly added, “Did Xia Youqing not know you could cook before? Haven’t you cooked for her in the past?”
“I have…”
“Well, then why are you so confident that you can win her back with things she’s already experienced?”
“It wasn’t this frequent before…”
“Oh.”
That “oh” seemed to contain layers upon layers of mockery. Yuan Yue, whose confidence was already shaky, became even more cautious.
“It’s not just about preparing food. Prenatal checkups, giving birth—it all costs money. I was planning to give my salary card to Qingqing.”
“Is she lacking your dirty money?” Ji Xun sneered.
That’s too much. Huo Ranyin couldn’t listen anymore and kicked Ji Xun under the table.
“Don’t kick me, I’m not wrong,” Ji Xun shot a glance at Huo Ranyin.
“…Ahem.” Huo Ranyin gave a dry, awkward cough.
He earned Yuan Yue’s gratitude. Yuan Yue said, “Ji Xun is right. Qingqing is a reporter; she knows all kinds of people. If she was willing to be with me, it definitely wasn’t for money.”
And money could never win back Xia Youqing’s heart.
Xia Youqing was with him only because she loved him.
Xia Youqing left him only because he didn’t keep his promises.
Yuan Yue sat in silence for a long time, eventually standing up, dejected, and said to Ji Xun, “Thanks for tonight, you two. I’ll be going now…”
“Safe travels. Won’t see you out,” Ji Xun said, being sparing with his words.
Watching Yuan Yue finally disappear out the door, Huo Ranyin finally spoke: “You really don’t want Yuan Yue and Xia Youqing to be together?”
“?” Ji Xun looked at him. “What are you talking about? Of course I do. They’re only one step away from Yuan Yue becoming a winner in life. As a brother, I should be assisting him.”
“Your way of assisting is certainly unique.”
“That’s because you don’t know Yuan Yue’s most prominent trait.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“Unyielding persistence,” Ji Xun’s lips curled. “The more you strike him down, the more he’ll find ways to overcome the obstacles in front of him. Besides, is pointing out the truth considered ‘striking him down’? I prefer to call it ‘reducing the detours.’ I’m letting Yuan Yue give up on wishful thinking and face the core conflict between him and Xia Youqing.”
Saying this, Ji Xun grabbed his phone and started a WeChat video call.
“Who are you video calling?” Huo Ranyin asked.
“Xia Youqing, of course.”
“The least you could do is leave her some element of surprise.” Huo Ranyin was speechless.
“I’m just helping her filter out the ‘fright’ part of the surprise,” Ji Xun disagreed.
The video call connected quickly. It had been a while since they had seen each other. When Xia Youqing’s swollen, slightly bloated face appeared on screen, Ji Xun paused. On the other side, Xia Youqing saw Ji Xun’s bandaged arm and also paused.
They spoke at the same time: “You—”
They both immediately understood what the other wanted to ask.
“Had a small accident, it’s almost healed,” Ji Xun said, pointing to his arm.
“It’s nothing, just water retention,” Xia Youqing said.
Without unnecessary pleasantries, Ji Xun explained in a few sentences that Yuan Yue had found her and was planning to send her some “warmth.” Xia Youqing was a bit nervous at first, but as she listened to Ji Xun relay their earlier conversation, the woman’s tension gradually melted away. A moment later, she said with a subtle tone:
“I think I hear someone knocking at my door.”
“That’ll be Yuan Yue.” Ji Xun checked the time; it had only been 20 minutes since Yuan Yue left. “He didn’t waste a second heading your way.”
“Hmm…” The woman’s expression grew even more subtle.
Ji Xun didn’t say anything more. They said a simple goodbye and he hung up. He had said and done what he needed to; now, it was up to Yuan Yue.
“Can he catch up to her?” Huo Ranyin asked from the side.
“Maybe he can. Maybe he can’t,” Ji Xun offered a non-answer.
“It’s good to chase for a while,” Huo Ranyin thought about it carefully, then evaluated. “The feeling of a sweet and sour secret crush or open affection is quite nice. Captain Yuan might as well enjoy it for a few years.”
“That tone of yours… you sound like someone with experience.”
Huo Ranyin grew alert.
“Come on, share some of your insights?” Ji Xun said, brimming with interest, almost pulling out a recorder for an interview.
“Hah,” Huo Ranyin sneered, simply standing up and moving away from the guy who was getting too cocky.
Ji Xun felt a tinge of regret, but not a deep one. Their cohabitation had just begun; he wasn’t afraid of running out of chances to pry the truth out of him. It could be done slowly—place one trap, then two, then three…
Trap after trap, nested within Ji Xun’s hidden, devious heart.
The affairs of others were thus brought to a quiet rest. Life had to return to the present moment, to the person by his side.
Ji Xun returned to the dining table.
“Should we throw out the food on the table?”
“That’s too wasteful,” Huo Ranyin said. “Put it in the fridge; we can reheat it tomorrow.”
“Then I’ll go wash the pots.”
“I’ll do it. It’s not convenient for you with one hand.”
The space in the kitchen was occupied. Ji Xun walked a circle around the room and returned to the living room sofa. He turned on the television.
“Are you tired today? If not, let’s watch a movie before sleeping. What do you want to watch?”
“Whatever works, you pick.” Huo Ranyin’s voice came from the kitchen. “I put the kitchen knives in the cabinet under the sink; don’t open it unless you have to.”
“Got it, I know—”
The sound of the movie and the sound of running water echoed together in the typically quiet house. They drifted out, carrying the faint, smoky scent of daily life. This scent couldn’t be seen or smelled, yet it was clearly felt.
After Xia Youqing hung up on Ji Xun, she waited silently in her apartment.
The knocking outside did not last long; after three clear, distinct raps, it ceased. She wasn’t ready to face Yuan Yue, so she waited ten minutes in the room before bracing herself against the bed to stand up.
Her body, in the late stages of pregnancy, felt heavy. Walking, sitting, or lying down—everything was dozens of times more exhausting than usual. She had once felt that the thing in her belly was consuming her life, and she still felt that way now. She was, and always had been, using her life to nurture another.
She walked slowly through the rented apartment. It wasn’t large, and in every aspect quite ordinary, but this room had carried too many of her breakdowns and distortions. Those vented emotions hadn’t completely vanished; instead, they had turned into clouds of gloom, only visible out of the corner of her eye, piling up in the corners of the room, rotting and festering along with her…
But things had been better lately. Ever since Leilei’s case was solved, ever since the murderer had paid with their life. She started to notice her own madness; occasionally she would zone out, and occasionally, she would hang these emotions out in the sun to dry.
She finally walked through the apartment and to the door, pressing her hand onto the cold handle.
The door opened—just a crack.
A plume of light slipped through the gap, its soft, fuzzy edges sweeping right in front of Xia Youqing’s toes.
It wasn’t the hallway light. The hallway was sound-activated; if there was no noise, it wouldn’t light up.
Xia Youqing pushed the gap wider. She saw clearly now: the source of the light was a small sunflower-shaped nightlight placed next to the door. The light radiating from the sunflower’s center shone onto a cloth bag sitting on the floor, and in the open mouth of the bag, a red rose was tucked at an angle.
The rose was beautiful. Its petals were vibrant and delicate, the water droplets crystalline, blooming leisurely in the night’s light, speaking of unspoken worries.
The mist on the rose seemed to enter Xia Youqing’s eyes. Looking through that misty gaze at the soft, glowing light, the lamp seemed to scatter its warmth, lighting up the pitch-black hallway piece by piece, gently pushing away those oppressive, heavy gloom-filled clouds.
Pain in this world is pain, and warmth in this world is warmth.
Xia Youqing felt both the pain and the warmth. These contradictory emotions filled her heart without contradiction, and in doing so, made her understand:
I both want to forgive him, and I don’t want to forgive him.
“…What do you think?” The woman lowered her head, placing a hand on her high, protruding belly. “Let’s not forgive him for now, okay?”
Her palm felt a slight tremor.
The child in her belly kicked, as if striking a pact.
“Such a good baby,” she whispered, her thoughts drifting.
For a long while, no one knew what she was thinking, but her face brightened, as if the light in the hallway had touched her cheeks.
She smiled.
