“Beep!”
“Beep beep—!”
The rain hadn’t stopped, and the road remained congested.
After getting in the car, only Chi Qing and Ji Mingrui were left inside. Chi Qing visibly relaxed a little. His gloves were stained with some rainwater, and feeling uncomfortable, he finally took them off.
Ji Mingrui had a good temper. Even with the road blocked like this, he didn’t utter a single complaint. He glanced at Chi Qing’s gloves: “You finally took those things off.”
Chi Qing: “Do you have disinfectant?”
“No…”
“Alcohol wipes work too.”
“Don’t have those either,” Ji Mingrui said. “I’m a grown-ass man, it’s already a miracle I have a box of tissues in the car.”
Saying that, Ji Mingrui passed the tissue box over.
The moment he passed it over, a distorted voice complained: [Chi Qing is still as troublesome as ever. Waiting on him is like serving a young master.]
Chi Qing: “…”
At this moment, the traffic light flashed. Across the intersection was the “Haimao Residential Area,” where the subject of today’s dispute, Granny Wang, lived. The entrance and exit gates were tightly shut, and the security guard responsible for controlling vehicle access was dozing off in the security booth.
Outside, thunder and lightning clashed. A bolt of lightning split the sky, illuminating the pitch-black night for a split second. Usually inconspicuous corners were also lit up. The strong light shone onto a pool of scarlet blood. The blood had been soaked and diluted by the rainwater, flowing slowly along the street into the sewer, forming a winding, scarlet stream.
A dead cat with its abdomen ripped open lay quietly in the bushes—its eyes were wide open, and its fur was completely soaked, mixed with mud and fresh blood, clumping together to stick out like a hedgehog’s quills.
Inside the car.
Hearing a rumble in his ear, Ji Mingrui said, “Why is this rain getting heavier and heavier…”
He then changed the subject: “By the way, are you free tomorrow? My mom says she hasn’t seen you in a long time. Tomorrow is the weekend, and she’s making dumplings, so she’s inviting you over for dinner.”
Chi Qing handed the tissue box back: “Not free.”
Ji Mingrui took it: “You have work?”
[What work could he possibly have? Haven’t seen him film many shows, and you can’t even find this person on Baidu Baike. I just can’t understand it. Back then, with such a high college entrance exam score, what school couldn’t he have gotten into? Why did he insist on going to a film academy? It’d be one thing if he really liked it, but I can’t even tell how much this young master actually likes acting.]
This had always been one of the top ten unsolved mysteries of Ji Mingrui’s life.
He felt that Chi Qing could succeed at absolutely anything else. His college entrance exam score was staggeringly high—yet he just had to choose to slowly sink into the entertainment industry, flopping without making a single splash. It was truly baffling.
…
Chi Qing heard the question in Ji Mingrui’s heart, but he had no way of answering it.
Ji Mingrui wasn’t the little girl doing homework on the bench, who could rely on her youth and innocence to believe that mind-reading existed in this world.
Patter—
Raindrops smashed against the car window. The red taillights of the car in front shone straight through, then scattered through the blanket of raindrops, making the field of vision ahead become hazy.
—“You are very resistant to touch.”
—“You cannot perceive emotions like a normal person.”
—“It is very difficult for you to feel pity, fear, joy, or sorrow.”
—“I don’t know what the cause is, and I can’t find a solution… The only advice I can give you is the hope that you try to perceive emotions more. Even if it means learning how to act them out. You are in high school right now, yes? If you have extra time outside of your studies, you can appropriately take some acting classes.”
That was the first psychiatrist Chi Qing had ever seen. He was a very kind middle-aged man. Actually, Chi Qing had long forgotten what he looked like, but he still remembered his voice with its extremely heavy southern accent.
Having asked his question, Ji Mingrui waited for a long time without receiving an answer. He reached out and waved his hand in front of Chi Qing: “Hey, what are you thinking about?”
Chi Qing: “Thinking about whether you were making up stories about me in your head just now.”
“Am I that kind of person?” Ji Mingrui rubbed his nose guiltily, changing the subject. “…So what are you going to do tomorrow?”
Snapping out of his thoughts, Chi Qing stared at the wipers swinging back and forth in front of him and said, “I have to go to the hospital tomorrow.”
Ji Mingrui: “Are you sick?”
Chi Qing gave an “Mn” sound: “To treat my germaphobia.”
Ji Mingrui: “?”
This was the first time he had heard that germaphobia could be treated.
Ji Mingrui: “Medicine is truly advanced nowadays… I just don’t know if there’s any hope left for someone at your level of severity.”
The next day, the torrential rain that had poured continuously for two full days finally stopped, leaving only wet roads behind. The early winter weather carried a slight chill. At the end of the long street, a private psychological clinic had opened for business early. This clinic charged exorbitant fees, and judging by its exterior, it completely lived up to its price of several thousand yuan per consultation.
The excessively high-end decoration made the entire lobby look somewhat cold. Even though several adorably naive plush toys were placed in the guest waiting area, it didn’t change its underlying cold essence.
This was Chi Qing’s first time at this clinic.
He had switched through several psychiatrists. The previous one had lasted for over a year. At the end of their last consultation session, the doctor said to him helplessly: “Mr. Chi, I probably cannot help you. Why don’t you check out other clinics? Perhaps other doctors will be of more help to you.”
“It’s been over a year, and I completely cannot find the root cause of your illness.” The doctor smiled bitterly. “—We can’t even be considered well-acquainted. Look, you are still sitting in front of me wearing gloves, having never taken them off once. You do not trust me.”
“Hello,” the new clinic’s receptionist spoke with a mechanized smile. It was only after getting a clear look at the newcomer’s appearance that this smile became genuine. “Sir, do you have an appointment?”
It wasn’t raining today, so Chi Qing simply hadn’t worn a coat, dressed only in a somewhat thin black sweater. But his indifferent attitude and flat, uninflected voice made the receptionist unable to maintain her smile. “Ten o’clock, Dr. Wu.”
After searching on the computer, the receptionist said: “Mr. Chi Qing, is that right? Please wait in the guest area for a moment. Dr. Wu is still in a consultation. Once the consultation is over, we will notify you.”
Aside from a cat, there were two women sitting in the guest area. One had probably accompanied the other here; one was crying, while the other was constantly comforting her: “Don’t be too sad. Look at this cat, how cute—”
The cat curled up on their sofa seemed to understand human speech. It took the initiative to place its little meat pad paw on the sobbing woman’s hand, letting out a very soft “meow”.
The woman gradually stopped sobbing. She reached out and gently stroked the cat’s head.
Aside from the long sofa the two of them were sitting on, there was only one empty seat left opposite them in the guest area, and another cat was lying on that empty seat.
The woman’s sobbing had just faded when they saw the man who had just walked into the guest area stop in front of that empty seat. Then, with an expressionless face, he reached out a hand wearing a black glove and hoisted up the cat that was monopolizing the empty seat on the sofa. The cat was instantly suspended in the air. Its four paws flailed wildly, and its fur puffed up as it let out a cry: “—Meow?!”
Both were cats, but the treatment of the two cats on either side was starkly different.
Holding the cat like he was holding an inanimate object, Chi Qing asked a nearby staff member: “Can this thing be taken away?”
The clinic staff member was currently pouring water for him: “Ah, hello, is there… a problem with this cat?”
Their clinic’s keeping of cats was done with great care; these fluffy, cute little animals could easily alleviate people’s emotions, playing a certain healing role and aiding in psychological recovery.
Chi Qing let go, and the cat dropped straight into the staff member’s arms: “No need for it, it’s in the way.”
Staff member: “…”
The people beside them: “…”
The despised cat itself: “……”
Hugging the soft cat in her arms, the staff member truly couldn’t understand how there could be people in this world who didn’t like cats. She could only tell herself: This is a psychological clinic, everyone who comes here has some sort of psychological problem more or less.
The number of people coming for consultations in the morning wasn’t large. After the receptionists finished receiving guests, they began chatting with each other.
Only when discussing the previous “consultant” did their tones become lively: “…Mr. Xie praised my clothes today, saying they were very beautiful.”
“He only praised your clothes, he didn’t say you were beautiful,” the other one said. “When he heard me coughing, he told me to take care of my health. He was caring about me.”
As the other one reached this point, the two of them sighed with pity in unison: “How could a person like that have psychological problems?”
“……”
The third receptionist was slightly older. She shot them a glance: “If you two are so interested in that Mr. Xie, when he comes out of Dr. Wu’s office later, I’ll help you guys feel him out?”
Chi Qing waited in the guest area for almost ten minutes before the receptionists finally stopped their topic regarding “Mr. Xie” and called his number: “Mr. Chi, you can go in now. Dr. Wu’s office is the last room on the left side of the corridor.”
Dr. Wu had a good reputation in the industry. At a young age, he had already achieved numerous accomplishments. It was said that this person was gentle and refined, making people feel like they were bathing in a spring breeze.
But Chi Qing didn’t care about any of this. The reason he chose this Dr. Wu was entirely because of a single line on the doctor’s profile: Has experience successfully curing patients with emotional disorders.
Walking up to the office door, Chi Qing bent his finger and knocked twice.
The door wasn’t closed.
He pushed the crack in the door open a little. From inside came an extremely casual voice, sounding like someone who had just woken up, his eyes half-squinted, dragging out the end of the word: “—Come in.”
There were only two chairs in total inside the consultation room. A reclining chair was displayed in a slightly further partition. Next to the beige sofa chair, an aromatherapy diffuser had been meticulously placed.
The person who had just spoken was sitting in the office chair, genuinely sleeping. He leaned all the way back, his legs crossed and resting very lazily on the desk. A book covered his face, its cover printed with five large characters: Personality Psychology. In this posture, the man’s neck was elongated. In comparison, what was more eye-catching was his shirt collar, which wasn’t buttoned properly at all, revealing a large swath of stark collarbones with his movements.
Moreover, this brand of shirt was very expensive.
Only when he heard someone come in did he move the five fingers pressing on the book cover and remove the book from his face—this person, just like his unbuttoned collar, had a face that could be described as romantic and roguish.
The corners of the man’s eyes were slightly lifted. In the instant he cast a sidelong glance over, one would almost think he was looking at an old lover.
In short, there was a Mariana Trench separating him from the words “gentle and refined”.
That person put his legs down, picked up a water cup, and poured a cup of hot tea for Chi Qing. The words coming out of his mouth sounded like he was catching up with an old acquaintance, carrying a rare, non-offensive intimacy: “It’s rained for two days, and you’re wearing so little. Aren’t you cold?”
Chi Qing very much wanted to say, Does that have anything to do with you?
But he was here for a consultation and should cooperate with the doctor, even though this “Dr. Wu” seemed quite different from his profile description.
Chi Qing restrained himself, pushing the cup of tea back and saying, “I’m not cold, nor am I thirsty. I don’t need hot water.”
The person across from him didn’t mind. Lazily leaning back again, he tapped his finger lightly on the desk. He wore a thin ring on his right hand, yet it didn’t look effeminate at all; it only made people feel that this person was likely a flirtatious one.
That person said: “As long as you’re not cold. I was just afraid you might catch a cold later. Here for a consultation?”
Chi Qing: “Nonsense.”
“…” He chuckled. “Quite a big temper.”
Chi Qing interrupted this useless small talk: “Can we start?”
The “Dr. Wu” across from him, who did not match his description at all, was noncommittal. Reaching out, he moved the Personality Psychology book from earlier, revealing the file folder pressed directly underneath.
This was Chi Qing’s first time here, so there were only a few brief words in the file folder. These few sentences were preliminary conclusions drawn from the doctor and the consultant chatting online during the appointment booking.
In the symptoms column, the psychiatrist had very conservatively filled in a few words: This client… has a rather cold and indifferent personality.
“A cold personality; there’s more to it than just that. You have germaphobia, and from the moment you walked in until you sat down, you’ve maintained a defensive posture. The guest area is full of cats, yet you don’t have a single cat hair on you. Aside from your germaphobia, you probably don’t like getting close to pets,” that person’s fingers stroked the paper. Perhaps because of his face, even the action of turning a page seemed frivolous. “…This germaphobia of yours, to what extent is it?”
Chi Qing was accustomed to relying on cold, hard physical evidence to observe a person. He had originally grown suspicious of this “doctor” in front of him. Logically speaking, even at a high-end clinic, the doctors shouldn’t be able to afford such a luxurious shirt. But the moment the other party spoke, his doubts were dispelled again.
Chi Qing: “Very severe.”
That person’s gaze lingered on Chi Qing’s gloves for a second: “Does ‘very severe’ mean you don’t let people touch you, or is even getting close not allowed?”
Chi Qing: “You can try.”
He believed that as long as someone had ears, they could hear the true meaning behind this “try”.
However, the person across from him acted as if he couldn’t hear it. He stood up and approached Chi Qing. After passing the desk, the distance between the two of them rapidly shortened.
It wasn’t until he stood up that Chi Qing realized he was actually very tall.
There was only a two-step gap left between the desk and Chi Qing. Before he could react, the collarbones he had accidentally caught a glimpse of earlier rapidly magnified in front of his eyes—the man’s collarbone hollows were very deep, possessing a sort of ambiguity that seeped out from his very bones.
“Alright,” pulling his lips into a smile, he said, “I’ll try.”
“…”
Fuck.
If this was a treatment method, Chi Qing felt that his emotional disorder had indeed been alleviated to a certain extent, because he was currently very irritated.
Chi Qing released his hands, which had been folded and resting on his lap. But the person across from him anticipated his movements in advance. Immobilizing Chi Qing’s wrist with one hand, he said, “Don’t get agitated.”
After speaking, the person’s fingers slowly slid up along Chi Qing’s wrist. His fingertips pressed against the edge of the black glove, intending to take off that glove without a word of warning: “Mr. Chi here, this isn’t how a consultation is done… Relax. If you keep wearing your gloves, sitting in the consultation room for three hours will be completely useless.”
