The dizziness hit fast, starting the exact moment Shan Yu closed the distance and Chen Jian’s eyes failed to focus.
As the point of contact on his lips slowly widened, the sensation gradually diffused outward.
High and low frequencies buzzed simultaneously in his ears, like background music to his panic and excitement—chaotic and grand.
Everywhere that scorching breath reached felt as if it had caught fire, burning from the corner of his lips to the edge of his ears, down the side of his neck… burning so intensely that even drawing a breath felt difficult.
It felt a bit like a dream where the details couldn’t be recalled—a haze of comfort suspended between wakefulness and sleep.
But not entirely like a dream either, for there was an overwhelming surge of uncontrollable elation and euphoria.
His vision blurred from the heat. In a chaotic field of colorful, jumping static occasionally pierced by flashes of white light, he cautiously explored the disorder, touching, pressing close, entangling…
Only when the searing air around them slowly dissipated did Chen Jian finally recover his breathing as his body temperature gradually returned to normal.
And his vision.
…Though his breathing was still somewhat unsteady.
His vision had also somewhat declined.
It felt like that kiss had kissed the astigmatism right out of him.
He stared at Shan Yu for quite a while before the double vision framing his face finally disappeared.
The smile on Shan Yu’s lips grew clear.
“What is it?” Shan Yu leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looked at him. He lightly brushed the knuckle of his left index finger against the corner of his mouth.
This lip-related gesture instantly scrambled Chen Jian’s brain again. He turned his head and reached blindly toward the coffee table.
He had no idea what he was trying to grab.
But because he was only half-sitting on the sofa to begin with, this slightly panicked motion made his ass slip.
He slid right off the sofa and landed on his knees in front of the coffee table.
“Why don’t you face this way,” Shan Yu said. “Who knows who you’re kneeling to over there.”
Chen Jian didn’t speak. He quickly grabbed the edge of the sofa and scrambled back into his seat.
Too embarrassed to look in Shan Yu’s direction, he leaned back against the sofa in a daze before bursting into laughter.
“Want some water?” Shan Yu reached over and lightly hooked a finger under his chin.
“Mm.” Chen Jian nodded.
“Go pour some,” Shan Yu said.
“Fuck off.” Chen Jian laughed and shot him a look.
“I’m injured,” Shan Yu lifted his bandaged hand.
“I…” Chen Jian hesitated, remaining seated. “Let me recover for a second first.”
“Mm.” Shan Yu smiled, leaning back into the sofa himself.
Chen Jian sneaked a glance at him. Shan Yu had one leg crossed over the other, betraying absolutely nothing.
Chen Jian lifted a leg and crossed it over his knee too.
“We’re exactly the same,” Shan Yu said. “If we weren’t, one of us definitely wouldn’t be normal.”
“You…” Chen Jian felt his ears ignite, ready to burn off. “I’ll go pour water.”
“See if there’s any cola left in the fridge,” Shan Yu said. “I want to drink cola.”
“Mm,” Chen Jian responded.
But he still didn’t move.
After another moment passed, he finally got up and walked over to the fridge.
There was cola. He took it out, opened it, and poured it into a glass, then poured a glass of water for himself.
He tipped his head back and downed the water in one go, poured another glass, and finally returned to the sofa to sit down.
Shan Yu was now lying on the sofa. Unclear if it was from the kiss… but he seemed to have kissed himself tired, a touch of exhaustion now showing on his face.
“Going back to your room to sleep?” Chen Jian asked as he set the cola on the coffee table.
“I definitely wouldn’t be able to sleep.” Shan Yu took the cola, took a sip, and beckoned Chen Jian with a hooked finger. “Come over here and chat for a bit.”
“Come over where?” Chen Jian looked around. The sofa only had so much space; aside from Shan Yu’s legs, there was nowhere else for him to go.
“Next to my head, closer,” Shan Yu said. “Otherwise, detach my head and put it over there.”
Speechless, Chen Jian eventually stood up, walked over to where Shan Yu’s head rested, and sat on the carpet leaning against the front of the sofa.
Shan Yu reached a hand out and draped it over his shoulder, his fingertips pressing lightly against the side of Chen Jian’s neck, tapping gently in a slow rhythm.
“Counting my pulse?” Chen Jian asked.
“Mm,” Shan Yu smiled. “It helps with sleep.”
“Why didn’t you count mine when I wasn’t around?” Chen Jian asked.
“Counted my own,” Shan Yu said.
Chen Jian wrapped his hand around Shan Yu’s wrist, pressing his fingertips against the pulse point.
He could feel the faint flutter beneath the skin, but he couldn’t keep count—before reaching twenty, he lost track.
“Does it really work?” Chen Jian asked.
“Sometimes it works,” Shan Yu said. “Most of the time it doesn’t, but it quiets the mind.”
“Where did you learn that?” Chen Jian tilted his head to look at him.
“I’d do this when I couldn’t sleep as a kid,” Shan Yu said. “When my Eldest Aunt took me to see Chinese medicine doctors, the doctor would take my pulse, and I found it very reassuring.”
“So later you just started taking your own?” Chen Jian asked.
“Mm.” Shan Yu nodded.
Chen Jian didn’t speak. He lowered his head and pressed his lips against Shan Yu’s wrist. He could feel the pulse this way too—perhaps even more clearly than with his fingers.
It did bring a sudden sense of tranquility.
It suddenly made him recall the countless dark nights he had endured alone.
Shan Yu really was smart; at least Chen Jian had never thought to comfort himself this way.
“You said your siblings and cousins are all very impressive, like Liu Wu.” Chen Jian placed Shan Yu’s hand onto his own knee, nudged the bracelet on Shan Yu’s wrist aside slightly, tilted his head to rest on it, and looked at Shan Yu.
“Mm.” Shan Yu looked back at him.
“Liu Wu…” Chen Jian hesitated. “Is just okay, I guess. Getting into a Tier-1 university isn’t that incredible, and sometimes his brain seems like he chewed on too many digestion tablets.”
Shan Yu remained silent for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. “Are you trying to comfort me?”
“Mm,” Chen Jian admitted. “Even though I shouldn’t elevate you by putting Liu Wu down… whatever, he’s not here anyway.”
“He actually could have scored higher, but his family wanted him to retake a year and he refused,” Shan Yu clicked his tongue. “For two high school graduates, you guys sure are bold talking like this behind closed doors.”
“You talk plenty boldly in public too,” Chen Jian said.
Shan Yu paused, laughing so hard his hand shook slightly. “You didn’t even drink today, did you?”
“I’m dizzier than if I had drunk,” Chen Jian smiled.
“Are you sleepy?” Shan Yu asked.
“I’m alright,” Chen Jian said.
“Want to look at the photos?” Shan Yu asked again. “I have the ones Yue Lang sent on my phone.”
“Where’s your phone?” Chen Jian didn’t move, still resting his head on Shan Yu’s hand. He just shifted his eyes around, caught sight of Shan Yu’s phone on the coffee table in his peripheral vision, and reached out to grab it.
He held it up to Shan Yu’s face to unlock it.
“I saved them all in the album.” Shan Yu raised a hand to tap the screen.
“Let me see.” Chen Jian immediately turned the phone toward himself. Before tapping open the album, he glanced at Shan Yu again. “Can I look?”
“Hoping to see the carpet photo?” Shan Yu’s lips curled into a smirk.
Chen Jian clicked his tongue.
“Go ahead and look, just don’t delete anything,” Shan Yu said.
Chen Jian tapped open the album. The first few were the photos Yue Lang had sent. Even in thumbnail view, the colors and lighting carried a rich texture. But Chen Jian didn’t have time for those; he scrolled straight to the bottom.
A massive grid of his own face in various states appeared on the screen.
“What the fuck…” He scrolled down in utter shock. “How many did you take?! Is there something wrong with you…”
“A little bit, yeah,” Shan Yu said. “Why else would I take meds?”
Chen Jian shot him a look.
Scrolling further down, he found a few other photos of himself—at the bus station, getting his hair permed… He shot Shan Yu another look.
“What?” Shan Yu raised an eyebrow.
“Nothing.” Chen Jian smiled. Further down, there weren’t many serious photos anymore; mostly it was the renovation process of Dayin, along with a few landscape shots of the mountains and streams.
It seemed the boss hadn’t been completely hands-off during the remodeling phase; he had at least taken a few photos.
“I didn’t transfer the old photos to this new phone,” Shan Yu said. “If you want to see them, they’re in the cloud album.”
“I’ll look at the new ones first.” Chen Jian scrolled back up to the photos saved today.
Yao Yi’s photography skills were quite professional. When he tapped open the first one, Chen Jian felt like he was looking at a fashion magazine.
In the photo where he and Shan Yu both turned their heads simultaneously, even though the distant scenery under the moonlight felt stark and cold, the two of them in the foreground carried a warm tone, looking incredibly cozy.
“This one looks really nice,” Chen Jian said.
“The one after it is a solo shot of you, looks even better,” Shan Yu said.
Chen Jian looked at him. “How did you know which one I was looking at?”
“With your personality,” Shan Yu smirked, “normally you’d just tap them open in order.”
“Yo,” Chen Jian said.
“Did you secretly drink alcohol?” Shan Yu asked.
“No,” Chen Jian swiped to the next photo. “This is just how I am when I’m in a good mood.”
“Have you been in a bad mood all this time I’ve known you?” Shan Yu asked.
“Boss, you’re making this awkward for people,” Chen Jian said.
Shan Yu didn’t say anything else, just lay on the sofa laughing silently.
The solo shot really was excellent. Chen Jian knew he was decent-looking, but he never expected to photograph this well. After all, the first time he saw the ID photo on his school badge, he had to rely on the hair to recognize himself.
He wasn’t sure if it was because he was viewing the photo while resting his head crookedly on Shan Yu’s hand, but the version of himself in Yao Yi’s lens looked quite… stylish.
Even the worn-out coat he wore was captured with such texture that it felt like if it were new, it might not carry the same vibe.
“Did Yao Yi study photography?” he asked.
“Not formally. She taught herself because she needed it for work,” Shan Yu said. “Don’t let her goofy, laughing demeanor fool you; behind closed doors, she’s incredibly driven.”
“What about Yue Lang?” Chen Jian asked.
“Very smart, intensely loyal. As for work…” Shan Yu thought for a moment, “he learns whatever he needs when he doesn’t know enough, but absolutely refuses to use work as an excuse to undergo any form of extra self-improvement.”
It took Chen Jian two seconds to process that sentence before he started laughing. “But he looks very elite, even if there’s a bit of a bandit vibe to him.”
“He is smart, after all,” Shan Yu said.
“Similar to you,” Chen Jian said. “The vibe you give me is that you’re extremely smart.”
“And handsome,” Shan Yu added.
“…Mm.” Chen Jian glanced at him.
“When did you realize I was handsome?” Shan Yu pressed with keen interest.
“…Why don’t you ask me when I realized you were smart?” Chen Jian asked.
“When did you realize I was smart?” Shan Yu rephrased the question.
“When you tricked me into working here,” Chen Jian said.
“Then when did you realize I was handsome?” Shan Yu asked again.
Chen Jian laughed helplessly. “You really aren’t much older than Xiao Dou’er… I noticed the moment we met. You weren’t wearing a mask, it’s pretty easy to tell.”
Shan Yu didn’t speak, just looked at him.
“What is it?” Chen Jian looked back at him.
“When you realized you had… feelings,” Shan Yu asked softly, “were you not scared?”
Chen Jian fell silent.
After a moment, he answered: “Not really scared. It’s already happened. If you can hide, you hide; if you can’t, you just have to face it.”
“Just like paying off a debt,” Shan Yu said.
“What kind of analogy is that…” Chen Jian clicked his tongue, thought about it, and nodded. “But I guess it’s basically the same thing.”
Shan Yu smiled and closed his eyes.
“Going to sleep?” Chen Jian asked.
“No,” Shan Yu said. “Just talk about whatever. Things from when you were a kid.”
“When I was a kid… there’s not much to say,” Chen Jian thought for a moment. “It was more boring than most kids’ childhoods.”
“Because you had to take care of your mom?” Shan Yu asked.
“Mm,” Chen Jian nodded. “Ever since I can remember, her health wasn’t great. But sometimes she’d take me out to play, pick mushrooms, go swimming in the summer.”
“Are you good at swimming?” Shan Yu asked softly, keeping his eyes closed.
“I guess. I can dive down to the riverbed and grab rocks,” Chen Jian said.
“Next summer,” Shan Yu said, “go grab a few for me.”
“Okay,” Chen Jian said.
“Have you ever raised chickens?” Shan Yu asked.
“…I have. Raised pigs too,” Chen Jian said.
“Let’s pass on the pigs,” Shan Yu said. “Too smelly.”
“What, Boss Shan, do you want to raise chickens?” Chen Jian looked at him.
Shan Yu still had his eyes closed. His voice was very low, sounding almost like sleep talking: “Isn’t there a small plot of land outside the east wall? Zhao-jie mentioned before we could raise chickens there for ourselves to eat.”
“The folks from Suiyun are growing vegetables there,” Chen Jian said.
“Snatch it over,” Shan Yu said. “If you can’t snatch it, just toss the chickens in. Saves money on feed too.”
“…You really know how to stir up trouble, Boss,” Chen Jian said.
Shan Yu continued chatting with him in a very low voice.
Chen Jian had always felt there weren’t many interesting things from his childhood, but as Shan Yu asked little by little, and he recalled bit by bit, he slowly realized that he seemed to have had some very happy times back then too.
Climbing trees, swimming, picking mushrooms, collecting leaves to draw on. When the village pigs got loose, he’d chase them from one end of the village to the other just to ride them—though he never succeeded and almost got bitten…
Shan Yu’s voice grew softer and softer until it vanished entirely, leaving only the sound of his slow, even breathing.
Chen Jian felt the half of his face resting on Shan Yu’s hand go numb, and his neck stiffen. As he slowly straightened up, he even heard a cracking sound in his neck.
Looking at Shan Yu’s left hand, the pressure had drained all the color from it. Only after Chen Jian stared at it for a long while did the blood gradually begin to return.
He very carefully lifted Shan Yu’s hand and placed it onto the sofa.
When someone with poor sleep finally manages to drift off, you have to be extremely careful.
When he was little, his mom would sometimes suffer from insomnia too. When she finally fell asleep only to be woken up by his noise, even his gentle mother would lose her temper at him.
He couldn’t wake Shan Yu. Even though Shan Yu had been quite gentle today, if he were actually woken up, it probably wouldn’t stop him from having a vicious mouth.
When Chen Jian went to the bedroom to fetch a quilt, he passed by the mirror and glanced in, discovering that his face had pressed several distinct, red indents into his cheek from Shan Yu’s hand.
He stood there looking at them for a while.
It reminded him of the lines that had been on Shan Yu’s face before…
So he immediately pulled out his phone and took a selfie.
After tiptoeing over to drape the quilt over Shan Yu, he stood by the sofa, looking down at him. For a long time, he wanted to leave but couldn’t bring himself to move.
Eventually, deciding that standing over someone like this felt a bit ominous, he turned, flicked off the light, and tiptoed out of the office in little hops.
Passing by Yue Lang and Yao Yi’s room, he was surprised to see their light was still on, and he could even hear them talking.
Or more accurately, Yao Yi was scolding Yue Lang.
“Ugh, you’re so annoying! Hurry up and pack your bags and go wander the streets! I don’t want to look at you for another second!”
“That’s not very appropriate, is it? We still have a few days of vacation left. You don’t need someone to carry your bags for you?” From the sound of it, Yue Lang had already reached the door. “You hurry up and fall asleep. I’ll go wander for half an hour and come back.”
Chen Jian quickly jogged back to the dorms, terrified that if Yue Lang actually came out with his bags to wander the streets in the next second and they bumped into each other, it would be way too awkward.
He half-suspected Shan Yu placed their room right next to the office just to gather blackmail material on Yue Lang…
Running back into the dorm, he had just closed the door and hadn’t even turned around when he heard movement behind him.
“Who is it?” he asked, turning around and keeping his voice low.
“Me,” Hu Pan answered from a chair in the small living area, her voice thick with tears.
“What’s wrong?” Chen Jian turned fully, glancing at both sides; the doors to both the men’s and women’s dorms were closed.
He walked over to Hu Pan. The lights in the room were off, but by the moonlight streaming through the window, he could see her face was covered in tears.
“Nothing.” Hu Pan quickly scrubbed her hands wildly over her face.
Chen Jian pulled two tissues from nearby and handed them to her.
Hu Pan took the tissues and scrubbed wildly at her face again.
“Did something happen?” Chen Jian asked softly. “Need any help?”
“I need to request time off tomorrow morning.” Hu Pan sniffled, looking up at him.
“Sure,” Chen Jian said. “Where are you going?”
“To get in a fight!” Hu Pan gritted her teeth fiercely.
“Fight who? Just say the word,” Chen Jian sat down in the chair opposite her. “Fighting is Dayin’s specialty.”
Hu Pan looked at him and couldn’t help but laugh. “Is this really how you act as store manager?”
“The boss acts the way he does,” Chen Jian said. “How standard of a store manager could I possibly be?”
The target of Hu Pan’s impending fight was her primary school classmate who worked at the accessory shop—the one who had originally tipped her off about Dayin’s job opening. This person had leaked Hu Pan’s whereabouts to her younger brother, meaning her family might soon come knocking at her door.
Chen Jian decided to take Sanbing and go with her to the accessory shop the next day to see what the situation was.
If Hu Pan really was going to throw down, it wouldn’t be appropriate for the two guys to lay hands on a girl, but if Hu Pan started losing, they could absolutely pull some biased refereeing.
However, after waking up the next morning, before the plan could even be set into motion, trouble came looking for them first.
Chen Jian received a call from Da Li.
“Chen Jian, isn’t this going too far?” Da Li’s voice carried an annoyance he was clearly trying—and failing—to suppress.
“What the hell are you talking about?” While Chen Jian tried to avoid triggering Shan Yu’s morning temper, he had a morning temper of his own, especially when ambushed with accusations like this.
“How exactly did you guys negotiate with the barbecue folks?” Da Li demanded. “Now they’re saying they’ll only coordinate with Dayin! Trying to steal our event, is that it?”
“I have no idea. I’ll ask the boss in a bit.” Chen Jian climbed out of bed, reeling his morning temper back in as he put on his shoes.
“Your boss is the one who told me to ask you!” Da Li yelled. “He said he has no idea!”
Chen Jian froze.
…Son of a bitch.
