Chapter 3: A female director named Li, with a pretty boy named Zhou.
The next morning, when Zhang Shun woke up, his brother was shirtless, facing away from him, looking into the bathroom mirror.
At first, Zhang Shun thought his brother was shaving and was momentarily shocked: his brother could actually grow a beard! How down-to-earth!
But then he quickly realized his brother was putting on contact lenses, and he felt relieved. His brother still looked the same, not at all changed by sharing a bed with him for a night and suddenly becoming more mundane.
“Bro!” Zhang Shun yawned and asked, “Which girl did you get lucky with last night? Her oral skills were quite spicy, huh?”
Chu He picked up a shirt and put it on, buttoning it without any expression on his face: “One day, your loose tongue is going to get you killed.”
Zhang Shun had a good trait: he rarely got angry. He would laugh things off easily. Everyone around him knew this. Though Second Young Master Zhang was an incorrigible playboy, he had a good temper and never did bad things like bullying men and women. Even if someone opposed him directly, he might curse a bit, but he’d forget about it in five minutes.
There was nothing more to say with his long-feared big brother. Zhang Shun scratched his head, lazily got up, and asked, “I’m going to find a master today to exorcise the house. Want to come with me?”
Chu He’s face changed, “Don’t bring those superstitious things into the house if there’s nothing wrong!”
“Oh come on—Master Fang on Xinglong Street is famous all over the Northeast. Our house was haunted last night…”
“A businessman’s household can’t just mess with Feng Shui, you know?” Chu He harshly rebuked. “You can go fool around and get into fights all you want, but don’t bring those monks and Taoists home!”
Zhang Shun pouted. “Alright, got it.”
Only then did his brother’s expression soften. Chu He went to the wardrobe and picked out a black tie. While tying it, he said, “A Japanese consortium, under the guise of a religious visit, is coming to the city to invest. They plan to build a five-star hotel in the Sanlitun development zone, and Mayor Huang specifically named our company to accompany them. I might not be back for dinner.”
This last sentence touched Zhang Shun emotionally. He thought that it had indeed been a long time since the brothers had had dinner together. He was about to say, “Then I won’t go out tomorrow night; let’s have dinner together at home,” but before he could, he saw his brother pick up his coat and leave the house with a confident, elegant stride, not even saying goodbye.
“…” Zhang Shun said, “I really shouldn’t have tried to be nice.”
Yawning, Second Young Master Zhang went downstairs for breakfast, bantered with the old butler, teased the new maid a bit, then tossed his utensils aside, got into his new Ferrari, and leisurely drove out.
Although he promised his brother not to engage in superstitious practices at home, Second Young Master Zhang had no intention of keeping that promise. He had already decided to invite a “master” to check the Feng Shui at home. Recently, he felt that things were not quite right. Several of the prosperous goldfish in the front yard pond had died, and there were rumors among the servants of seeing white shadows in the corridors. Not to mention the always eerie warehouse in the backyard, where even the old butler secretly told him he heard ghostly cries at night, scaring the guard dogs into silence.
These days, two kinds of people are the most superstitious: wealthy businessmen and intellectuals. Despite being a playboy, Second Young Master Zhang hadn’t been lazy with his studies back in the day. He was pampered and supported by numerous top teachers and private tutors, making it into a nationally renowned university. After graduating, he went abroad to his grandparents and earned a master’s degree—not one bought with money but earned through hard work, staying up countless nights writing papers at a prestigious foreign university. If his father hadn’t fallen seriously ill, forcing him to return home, Second Young Master Zhang might have even earned a doctorate from that prestigious university.
Thus, Second Young Master Zhang embodied both traits, making him particularly inclined to believe in these superstitions.
On his way, Zhang Shun called one of his closest friends, Huang Pian, the nephew of the city’s top official, Mayor Huang. He called out loudly, “Hey, Huang Pian, which little girl’s bed are you hiding in? Get out here; I need to talk to you!”
Huang Pian angrily replied, “You’re the one hiding in a little girl’s bed! I was drinking with those bastards from the Environmental Bureau all night! What do you want? Speak or I’m hanging up!”
“Hey, hey, hey—don’t hang up! I need to ask, the master surnamed Fang you mentioned you’d introduce me to, can we see him today?”
“Why?”
“Serious business,” Zhang Shun said seriously, “There’s a haunting at my house. I need the master to catch a demon.”
Huang Pian had planned to hang up and go back to sleep, but he suddenly got interested. “What demon? What are you talking about?”
Zhang Shun, holding the steering wheel with one hand and the phone with the other, briefly recounted the chilling events of the previous night. Huang Pian clicked his tongue in amazement. After repeatedly confirming that Zhang Shun wasn’t joking or had a nightmare, he said he definitely wanted in on the action and would fetch Master Fang to meet Zhang Shun.
“But isn’t your brother against monks and Taoists?” Huang Pian1黄翩, Huáng Piān asked. “Are you sure he has a meeting tonight? If he comes back unexpectedly and embarrasses Master Fang, I can’t afford to lose face.”
Zhang Shun said, “Don’t worry, Huang Pian’er. 2黄片儿, Huáng piān er. Here Huáng piān means porno. My brother is with your uncle tonight, handling the Japanese investors. He won’t be back before midnight. We’ll be quick. Otherwise, I won’t dare sleep at home tonight.”
Huang Pian snapped, “Don’t call me by my nickname!”
Chu He’s eyelids twitched all afternoon, but no matter how he tried, he couldn’t figure out what was happening.
He didn’t know that his incompetent brother had completely disregarded his morning warning.
He was led by an assistant to the mayor’s secretary’s office, where the secretary personally served him a fruit platter, good cigarettes, and a pot of special Iron Buddha tea. Smiling, the secretary said, “Mayor Huang knows you’re here, but he’s on a call that hasn’t ended yet. Please rest for a while. I’ll check how much longer it’ll be.”
Chu He nodded without speaking. Soon, the secretary hurried back, looking a bit puzzled. “Mayor Huang asks you to come in quickly.”
Chu He had a good idea of what was going on, but said nothing. He nodded and walked into the office, directly pushing open the heavy wooden door.
The mayor’s office was a standard government double suite: a small reception room outside and a study inside. Chu He closed the door behind him, shutting out the secretary’s curious gaze, and walked around the large desk. He saw a shiny-furred fat weasel clutching its throat, writhing in pain on the floor.
“A chicken bone is stuck in my throat,” Mayor Huang rolled his eyes desperately. “Quick, help me get it out—”
Chu He: “…”
Chu He efficiently grabbed the weasel by the scruff, swung a leg over its back, and sharply jabbed his elbow into it. With a crack, the chicken bone flew out of the weasel’s mouth.
“Ah cough cough cough! Cough cough cough cough!” The weasel coughed violently, then transformed back into a human, sprawled on the floor, cradling his fat belly, teary-eyed, and pitifully asking, “Do you have to be so rough with me every time?”
“…” Chu He said, “Stay away from me, fatty.”
Mayor Huang instantly got up with an agility unbelievable for a fat man, stuffing his tail into his pants, and righteously declared, “Don’t call me by my nickname!—And for the last time, I’m not fat, I’m just well-rounded!”
·
Having a weasel as a local official had many benefits. As Mayor Huang put it, if it were a human, who knows how corrupt they’d be? But for him, two chickens a day were enough to keep him satisfied.
Of course, there are also downsides. For example, the secretary often smells a strange scent of fried chicken in the mayor’s office and occasionally finds inexplicable chicken feathers with blood stains on the floor.
But compared to these minor downsides, the benefits of Mayor Huang are countless. For instance, when there was an avian flu outbreak in the north, Mayor Huang was furious and ordered the Health Committee to conduct a thorough investigation, quickly ensuring the safety and hygiene standards of the city’s poultry industry. Or when gutter oil was rampant, Mayor Huang took decisive action, thoroughly investigating the matter. To eliminate the possibility of corruption within the relevant departments, he even risked his own safety by personally testing the fried chicken at street vendors every day.
Probably due to his good reputation, the Central Monster Management Committee turned a blind eye to Mayor Huang. Although they did not promote him, they also did not transfer or demote him for several years.
Mayor Huang was quite pleased with himself, thinking that being recognized by humans as a monster was a great honor for his family.
Chu He often deflated his pride by saying, “Stop dreaming. There are enough people from Maoshan in the Celestial Empire to form a line. Nine out of ten people in the special office of national security are zombies. Who has time to deal with a minor mayor like you?”
Mayor Huang replied, “I’m still the local official. Can’t you give me some face?”
Grumbling, Mayor Huang moved his massive body into the car with red flag. Because he took up so much space, Chu He almost couldn’t fasten his seatbelt. He finally managed to pull the buckle out from under Mayor Huang’s large bottom.
“…Lao Huang, you really need to lose weight.”
“I’ve lost five pounds this week, you know!” Mayor Huang said bitterly. “Ever since I learned that the Japanese Aida Consortium was planning to invest in our small city, the provincial government has been sending people to intercept. It’s made me so anxious I can’t eat or sleep well, and my old issues of weak vitality and mental fatigue have come back!”
Chu He held his breath, finally fastening his seatbelt, before exhaling in relief.
“You know the central Monster Committee has no issue with me. Why does the provincial government keep targeting me? Do they know I’m a weasel? They can’t possibly!—Is it still because I took the mayor’s position from that bastard Wu back then? But that was his own fault! The collapse of the overpass in the city center had some involvement from a dragon vein, but the main reason was Wu and his cronies taking too many kickbacks from the developers. If I hadn’t decisively called you from Jinmao Tower to stabilize the situation, hundreds of people on that road section would have died…”
Mayor Huang expertly pulled out a wax paper packet from the side of his seat and began gnawing on a chicken bone.
“You know how hard it’s been for our city to develop from a small county to its current state. It’s been so tough to attract foreign investment. As the mayor, I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep for three days. It’s all tears when I think about it! The provincial government should be offering strong support and praise, but instead, they send people to intercept! Have they no conscience? Is it just because that ousted Wu was one of their own? They even tried to secretly contact the foreign investors behind my back. Luckily, I found out early. If they piss me off, I’ll fart and kill them all!”
Chu He’s mouth twitched imperceptibly.
“Who did the provincial government send?”
“Supposedly someone from the Foreign Guest Reception Office,” Mayor Huang said. “A female director named Li, with a pretty boy named Zhou, and a few assistants. Heh, today they wanted to meet the foreign investors together, so I had people get them drunk at lunch and dumped them back at the hotel…”
The Japanese investors had arrived yesterday, and a welcome dinner had been held last night. Mayor Huang initially planned a sightseeing tour today to showcase the city’s robust development, followed by a sauna in the evening to further build rapport. But the Japanese side was very efficient, immediately proposing to visit the suburban development zone to scout locations, aiming to finalize the site within the next two days.
Mayor Huang had no objections to this. Finalizing the deal early would prevent others from eyeing this windfall.
“A 3.5 billion investment—after building the hotel, they might even develop a large recreational center nearby.” Mayor Huang, having finished gnawing on the chicken bone, wiped his greasy mouth and patted Chu He’s shoulder solemnly. “Don’t say I never look out for you, Mr. Chu. If we secure this project, I, Huang Daxian, will treat you as my own grandfather!”
“……” Chu He said, “You’d better not.”
As they spoke, the red-flagged car arrived at the entrance of the suburban development center. This place was already a bit off the main road, surrounded by vast, empty land. Besides the temporary exhibition center built for construction planning, there were only a few hospitals and middle schools in the distance. Not far away, there was a property development area contracted by builders, where scaffolding was just being erected and still looked quite uneven.
The Japanese investors had already arrived and were surrounded by a group of people, peering through the wire fence at something. No one even noticed when the red-flagged car pulled up.
Mayor Huang puffed out his chest and belly, got out of the car, and waved energetically. “Hey—”
Everyone turned their heads in unison.
Immediately, the exhibition center director, being thin and nimble, pushed through the crowd and rushed over first. “Mayor Huang! Mayor Huang! Something terrible has happened!”
He grabbed Mayor Huang, trembling all over. “S-someone has jumped off a building!”
Mayor Huang: “What?!”
Chu He immediately got out of the car, only to see the director shaking in fright despite the heat, with sweat pouring down his face. “Over there—the construction site next door—someone just jumped off from there. I-I-I saw him splatter with my own eyes! We called the police just now. Mayor, thank goodness you’re here. W-what do we do now…”
Mayor Huang: “What did you say?!”
A man in an elegant gray suit stepped forward from the crowd and shook Mayor Huang’s hand, speaking politely in broken Chinese: “The person who jumped was my translator. He said he was going to the restroom, and the next thing we knew, he jumped from up there, right in front of everyone.”
The scene was chaotic. While wiping sweat and smiling apologetically at the man, Mayor Huang turned and quietly explained to Chu He: “This is Mr. Yoshinobu Aida, the current head of the Aida Consortium…” Meanwhile, he tried to maintain order and called out, “Stay calm! Everyone, stay calm! The police will be here soon, and no one should disturb the scene!”
Chu He’s gaze shifted past the crowd toward the construction site, then back to a young man in a white robe among the Japanese delegation.
The young man, about seventeen or eighteen years old, was handsome, wearing a wide-sleeved robe, and quietly following Yoshinobu Aida like a shadow. To everyone else, he might have seemed invisible, but to Chu He, his presence was striking. He was dressed in a Shinto priest’s garb.
The boy was an Onmyoji.3Onmyoji are practitioners of Onmyōdō (陰陽道), a traditional Japanese esoteric cosmology and spiritual practice that originated from ancient Chinese Taoist beliefs and practices. Onmyōdō involves the study and manipulation of the natural and supernatural world, including concepts of balance between the forces of yin and yang, and the influences of the Five Elements (Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, Water).
In literature and popular culture, Onmyoji are frequently portrayed as figures with mystical powers, able to summon and banish spirits, and provide protection against supernatural threats.
Noticing Chu He’s gaze, Yoshinobu Aida nodded politely and introduced the boy: “This is my nephew. He has some rudimentary knowledge in exorcism and was brought here to help with the feng shui assessment of the project site.”
He then meaningfully patted Mayor Huang’s thick shoulder and laughed: “—My nephew has a good temperament and won’t misuse his skills, so there’s no need for the mayor to be concerned, hahaha!”
While others did not understand, Mayor Huang’s face instantly changed.
“Mr. Aida, you jest,” sweat rolled down Huang Weasel’s plump face, making it hard for him to maintain his smile: “Hahahahaha—your nephew looks very promising, hehehehehe—”
The young Onmyoji stepped forward and respectfully bowed to Mayor Huang, whose face showed a hint of fear. His voice was naturally soft: “Hello, Mr. Huang, my name is Lanyu.”
He then turned to Chu He, seemingly sensing some form of danger. His pupils dilated slightly before contracting.
“…” The young Onmyoji clasped his left thumb in his right palm, his hands crossed with the backs facing outward, and bowed—a specific greeting among practitioners: “Pleased to meet you. Please take care of me.”
