In the counselor’s office.
Gao Pingyang sat quietly while several rows of people stood across from him. There were so many people that they filled the hallway.
The people in the front were very noticeable.
They all came from the same dorm, 608.
“Very good,” he said calmly, “There are more people each time, more than the two groups fighting in the east alley last time. Last time you managed a class; this time, it’s almost half the grade.”
He said word by word: “You never cease to amaze me.”
“…”
The office was silent.
Only Yu Xun’s mind worked differently from others, trying to break the silence. So, standing in a relaxed, slightly casual manner, he said: “Our batch is quite lively.”
Gao Pingyang: “You really dare to respond to anything?”
Yu Xun: “Isn’t it just to lighten up the atmosphere in the office? It’s too oppressive.”
Gao Pingyang almost choked with anger: “You’re here to write a self-criticism, what atmosphere do you need???”
Someone couldn’t hold back, clenched their hand into a fist, and pressed it against their mouth to stifle a laugh.
Gao Pingyang: “Who’s laughing? Still laughing?”
Luo Sifang, the dorm leader of 608, lowered his hand: “I… just wanted to cough, not laugh.”
By Gao Pingyang’s hand was a thick stack of A4 paper, pulled from the school’s printer, not even knowing if it was enough for this group to write on.
He was halfway through his New Year’s Day holiday, enjoying the festival with his family at home, when he suddenly received a call. A teacher who stayed at school urgently yelled at him: “It’s over, Lao Gao!”
“What do you mean it’s over?”
The person on the other end panted: “The dormitory building at the school, exploded.”
“?”
Gao Pingyang’s heart skipped a beat, but having experienced Yu Xun’s dorm’s violation with electrical appliances exploding before, he had some experience. He calmly asked: “Which building? Which room? Which dorm exploded?”
“All of them exploded, every dorm, five buildings of freshmen.”
“…”
Although he hurried back to the school, he soon found out that this “explosion” was not the kind he initially thought.
Gao Pingyang cleared his throat and began the formal reckoning: “The one who played the guitar, step forward.”
Liu Sheng: “Here.”
“What happened with you?”
Liu Sheng: “The atmosphere was right, and it fit my major, I couldn’t hold back.”
“…”
Gao Pingyang pulled out two sheets of white paper from the thick stack: “Two thousand words.”
Liu Sheng took it: “Got it.”
Gao Pingyang continued: “Yu-ge, step forward.”
He emphasized the words “Yu-ge,” clearly understanding the cause of the incident, including those ridiculous slogans: “‘Create conditions if there are none,’ ‘The strong don’t complain about their environment,’ ‘Become your own light,’ right? Wherever you go, whichever dorm you are in, something happens. Isn’t that right, Yu-ge?”
Yu Xun modestly said: “I don’t deserve the title.”
Gao Pingyang smiled woodenly: “You do deserve it. I should really call you ‘Ge’.”
Yu Xun tilted his head: “Since you’re so insistent, it’s not—” He didn’t finish the word.
Gao Pingyang was still smiling, but he harshly pulled out six sheets from the stack and slapped them on the table: “You, six thousand words.”
“Since you called me ‘Yu-ge’,” Yu Xun looked at the stack of paper, “Can’t you make an exception? Two thousand should be enough.”
Gao Pingyang was almost driven mad: “You’d better hurry up and take the paper while it’s still just six thousand.”
“…”
Yu Xun, with one hand in his pocket, took the paper with the other. As he returned to the lineup, Liu Zi gave him a thumbs up, mouthing: “Awesome.”
Gao Pingyang called the next person on the list: “Liu Zi.”
Liu Zi put down his thumbs and took a step forward.
Gao Pingyang: “You sold the fireworks?”
Liu Zi: “It wasn’t me. That person wore a mask. Though the accent was similar to mine, I don’t know who it was.”
Gao Pingyang: “…”
He pulled out two sheets of paper: “Two thousand, take it.”
Liu Zi: “I told you it wasn’t me. He wore a mask, it’s hard to recognize.”
Gao Pingyang couldn’t be bothered to argue: “I’m abusing my power, just want you to write two thousand words.”
Liu Zi was speechless: “…”
Gao Pingyang called the next name: “Yun Ci.”
Yun Ci, standing next to Liu Sheng, took a step forward and asked: “Teacher, how much should I write?”
Gao Pingyang pulled out two sheets: “You also two thousand.”
After pulling out the sheets, he noticed Yun Ci hadn’t left: “What’s the matter?”
Yun Ci held the two sheets and said: “Give me a few more.”
Gao Pingyang: “?”
Gao Pingyang: “How many do you want?”
Yun Ci thought for a moment: “Six sheets.”
“…” Gao Pingyang said, “You’re supposed to write a self-criticism. Why do you need so much paper, to draft it?”
Yun Ci: “I’ll write six thousand.”
His voice was very calm. After speaking, he noticed from the corner of his eye that Yu Xun was looking at him.
“Having less words in my self-criticism than him,” Yun Ci continued, “is embarrassing.”
“…”
Gao Pingyang thought to himself that students nowadays were rebellious to this extent, even competing over this.
There were even those who actively requested to write more.
Gao Pingyang: “If you wanted face, you shouldn’t be standing here. Does writing a self-criticism give you face? The school specifically cut the power on New Year’s Day to prevent you from being unruly in the dorms. And look what you’ve done. Just two sheets, take them and go.”
“Alright, all of you, get out, find an empty classroom to write in,” Gao Pingyang, exhausted after handing out the paper, waved them off, “It’s a holiday today, you have plenty of time to write. Write well, and celebrate properly in the classroom.”
Due to the number of participants, neither the office nor the hallway could hold them all. So, Gao Pingyang used keys to open several classrooms specifically for them to write their self-criticisms.
Liu Zi took a spot in the corner of the classroom, crossing his legs, and when he saw Yu Xun come in, he was about to call him over to write together.
But before he could, he saw Yu Xun being pulled over by Yun Ci to sit together in a front corner.
“…?”
Just as Liu Zi was about to get up, a familiar person took the empty seat next to him.
Li Yan explained: “I don’t want to sit here either, but there are no other seats.”
Li Yan added, “What are you doing? Don’t disturb them from their competition to write the self-criticisms.”
Liu Zi sat back down: “Damn, they’re competing to write self-criticisms?”
Li Yan: “What else could they be doing? They were both embarrassed in the office because of fewer words.”
“…”
Makes sense.
Writing self-criticisms, speed is also a skill.
Liu Zi decided to quietly observe first.
Then he turned his head and saw Li Yan already copying from Baidu: “…Isn’t copying not allowed?”
Li Yan was writing quickly: “With so many people this time, I bet he won’t check. I’m going to take a gamble.”
Hearing this, Liu Zi opened his phone and silently joined the gamblers.
Unaware of what was happening in the back row, Yun Ci pulled someone to sit in the front corner. When he entered the room, he was following behind Yu Xun, and before he realized it, his hand moved faster than his brain. He had already grabbed the person’s wrist and pulled him to sit down.
“…” Yu Xun lowered his eyes to look at their hands hidden under the desk, “?”
Yu Xun’s wrist was very hot, or maybe it was Yun Ci’s palm that was heating up.
The wrist bone circled by his palm was hard and sharp.
Yun Ci released his hand: “There were too many people just now.”
Yu Xun made a sound indicating for him to continue.
Yun Ci: “I called you, but you didn’t hear.”
Yu Xun said, “I won’t. I will never not hear your voice.”
As Yu Xun’s words fell, Yun Ci’s heart skipped a beat.
“So why did you call me?” Yu Xun asked again.
“…”
Since last night, Yun Ci felt that his heartbeat had been irregular.
Among the “starlight,” the sound of his heartbeat in his chest had once drowned out the shouts from everyone outside the balcony.
He tightened his grip on his pen a bit. He couldn’t come up with a reason for Yu Xun’s question and finally raised his hand silently, pulling out half of the white paper stack in front of Yu Xun.
“As I said in the office,” he wrote the words ‘Yu Xun’ at the top of the first sheet of paper, “I wrote too few words in my self-reflection.”
He paused again, “It’s embarrassing.”
Yun Ci’s tone was usually cold, hiding other emotions.
Yu Xun: “So you’re helping me write?”
Yun Ci: “It’s embarrassing.”
Yu Xun insisted on asking: “It’s embarrassing, so you write my name?”
Yun Ci: “…”
Yun Ci didn’t say anything more. He really couldn’t say, “Yes, I just want to help you write the self-reflection.” In the past, he would have directly said, “Shut up,” but now he didn’t want to say that to Yu Xun.
Yu Xun didn’t say more either. He just reached out and took back a sheet from Yun Ci: “Four sheets each, give me some dignity too.”
In the end, they each wrote four thousand words.
Yun Ci was slow to start writing the two thousand words for Yu Xun.
The words “Yu Xun” that he had just written hung on the paper.
He stared at the blank space below, and for some reason, his mind seemed to short-circuit.
His mind was filled with thoughts about why his heartbeat had been so fast since last night.
*
January 1st, a historic day at Nanyang University, with almost half of the freshman boys writing self-reflections in the teaching building. Some wrote slowly and even brought food from the cafeteria, eating while writing.
Yun Ci and Yu Xun finished writing in the morning. Near the afternoon, Yu Xun hurriedly submitted his paper and, without returning to the dormitory, went with Liu Zi to a shop outside the school.
Yun Ci returned to the dormitory and couldn’t focus on reading at all.
He flipped through a couple of pages of the legal code, then looked up at the lower bunk and the balcony.
In his restlessness, he saw his upper bunk—the simple storage shelf, with a red paper rose and a few other daily items placed together, looking inconspicuous.
Other people’s blue roses had already disappeared. Luo Sifang and the others were rough and careless, often throwing things around. Only Liu Sheng still kept his, being more literary, so he placed the blue rose on his violin case.
Yun Ci stared at it for a while.
He started wondering if leaving it there would make it dusty.
Then he climbed the ladder and took the paper rose down.
After taking it down, he put it in the bookshelf.
But after sitting back at the desk for only a few minutes, he suddenly stood up again.
In the bookshelf, it might get crushed by the books.
…
“Ci-ge,” Luo Sifang took off his headphones and saw him climbing up and down, rummaging through the bookshelf, and asked confusedly, “What are you doing, looking for something?”
“…”
Yun Ci couldn’t find a suitable place to store it and had already sat back down at the desk.
He expressionlessly dropped one hand, hiding the paper rose under the desk: “Yeah, looking for something.”
Luo Sifang: “Looking for what? Need help?”
Yun Ci coldly reminded: “Your game is on.”
Luo Sifang quickly put on his headphones and immersed himself in the game, not asking any more questions.
Only then did Yun Ci breathe a sigh of relief, even though he didn’t know why he needed to hide or why he was nervous.
He flipped through a few more pages of the legal code and finally just closed the book.
Taking out his phone, he opened Taobao, and his fingers tapped the screen a few times, searching for keywords: “storage box.”
“A box for storing gifts.”
“Box, delicate.”
He changed several search terms in a row.
The page refreshed several times, and he even saw a familiar box—somewhat flashy, the same one Yu Xun used to store his medicine.
Yun Ci suddenly snapped out of it, not knowing what he was doing.
The paper rose ended up back on the bed’s headboard, in its original place.
Moving it around seemed too deliberate.
…
In the evening, Luo Sifang suggested, “It’s the last day of the holiday. Why don’t we go out for a walk tonight? After all, none of us went home for the festival. There are only a few hours left, so we might as well celebrate.”
Wang Zhuang was feeling lazy: “Wasn’t today’s festival exciting enough? I spent most of the day writing a self-reflection. The last time I wrote one was in high school. Who would’ve thought I’d be writing one in college?”
Peng Yiyuan: “But it was pretty lively tonight. Someone even recorded videos and posted them online.”
Yun Ci didn’t say anything. He wasn’t interested in walking.
He was idly browsing his phone, refreshing every few minutes.
Refreshing WeChat.
More accurately, a certain chat window in WeChat.
But the black avatar had been silent for most of the day.
Weren’t you supposed to report?
…That busy?
Yun Ci pressed his lips together, not realizing that he was actually bothered by someone not reporting back all day after going out.
After Luo Sifang made the suggestion, he sought everyone’s opinion, and when he finally asked Yun Ci: “What about you, Ci-ge?” He then noticed Yun Ci had been constantly checking his phone. Given the frequency, he could only think of one possibility, “Are you playing a game? Candy crush?”
“…”
Yun Ci turned off the screen with a backhand: “Yeah.”
Luo Sifang: “What level?”
Yun Ci said indifferently: “Two hundred and fifty.”
Luo Sifang was interested in all games, including candy crush: “…That’s pretty high. Do you play often?”
Yun Ci: “Occasionally.”
Luo Sifang: “Oh, so do you want to go for a walk with us—”
Yun Ci was about to say “no.”
Luo Sifang finished his sentence: “To go to the east gate to find Yu-ge.”
…
Silence fell for a moment.
Yun Ci’s gaze fell on his turned-off phone, and then he heard his own voice: “It’s not that I can’t go for a walk.”
The decorative lights around the school lit up at night, making the whole street much brighter than usual. The cold wind was still blowing, and Yun Ci walked at the back. Halfway there, he felt something cool fall on his face.
Liu Sheng asked: “Is it snowing?”
Luo Sifang looked up: “Seems like… it’s snowing!”
“But the snowflakes are too small,” Wang Zhuang reached out to catch one, and the tiny snowflake turned into a tiny droplet of water on his hand, “…It’ll probably stop soon.”
The group soon reached a nearby cake shop.
From across the street, Yun Ci could already see the familiar sign. Through the large glass window of the cake shop, he saw Liu Zi mopping the floor and Yu Xun standing by the shelf.
“Yu-ge! Happy New Year!” Luo Sifang was the first to push open the door and go in.
He explained, “We went out for a walk, dropping by, and came to see you.”
There weren’t many people in the store, but their entry filled the area in front of the counter.
Yu Xun’s gaze passed over everyone and landed on the person at the back.
Yun Ci was the last to enter, with his hands in his coat pockets, standing by the door after entering.
Liu Zi happened to be in the storage room organizing things, and the 608 dormitory group chatted for a while.
Wang Zhuang: “How’s the business in your shop?”
Yu Xun said: “Not great.”
Wang Zhuang was about to offer some comfort, but Yu Xun added, “If business was good, I wouldn’t be doing this. I wouldn’t get any sleep.”
Wang Zhuang: “…”
It was unexpected, yet considering it was Yu-ge, it also seemed like a predictable answer.
Luo Sifang changed the subject: “By the way, it was snowing when we came.”
Yu Xun said nonchalantly: “Is that so.”
“…”
Yun Ci didn’t join the conversation.
In fact, he didn’t know why he came.
Before coming, he suddenly wanted to. Once in the store, he suddenly wanted to leave, his emotions strange and erratic.
After a while, he simply pushed the door open and went outside, standing there, hoping the cold wind would clear his mind.
A few minutes later, the door behind him creaked open.
Yu Xun stood next to him: “Why not go inside?”
Yun Ci spat out two words: “Getting some air.”
Yu Xun: “?”
Yun Ci added: “Wearing too much, can’t I?”
Yu Xun said: “Sure, you could say you came out for fresh air, too.”
Yun Ci’s hand in his coat pocket shrank, his fingertip touching the edge of his phone, remembering how he had checked it all afternoon.
Then he glanced at Yu Xun’s hand without showing it.
His hand was empty, not holding anything. He hadn’t seen him with a phone by the shelf either.
So, had he not played with his phone today, or had he played but forgot to message him?
…
Damn. Why was he thinking about this?
The cold wind didn’t seem to clear his mind.
His thoughts grew more chaotic.
Yu Xun followed his gaze to his own hand, then asked: “What are you looking at?”
Yun Ci looked away and said: “Nothing, you…”
Did you not bring your phone today?
This sentence stuck in his throat and finally turned into: “What time is it?”
“I didn’t bring my phone.”
When he said this lie, feeling guilty, he gripped the phone in his pocket tighter. With a cold face and tense fingers, he continued, “It looks like you didn’t bring yours either.”
Yu Xun responded casually: “…Ran out of battery and shut down.”
“Power went out last night, then I got caught writing a self-reflection. It’s been out of power for a long time.”
“Didn’t bring my charger either,” Yu Xun said, “Figured I’d charge it back in the dorm later. Why? Did Luo Sifang and the others not bring theirs either?”
Why.
He couldn’t explain.
But knowing it wasn’t that Yu Xun didn’t want to message him, a part of him felt relieved.
“…”
Yun Ci said: “I don’t know; I’ll ask him later.”
The topic of phones was put aside for now. They stood quietly for a while, going from getting some air to watching the snow.
When the snow started falling, Yu Xun suddenly said: “I’ll show you a magic trick I just learned. Want to see?”
“?”
Yun Ci tilted his head slightly and saw Yu Xun take something out of his pocket.
Yu Xun said again: “Hold out your hand.”
When Yu Xun released his hand, a candy fell into Yun Ci’s hand.
A small piece, probably taken from the basket of candies on the counter, its wrapper was colorful and bright.
The snow was falling harder, a few white flakes landing on Yu Xun’s outstretched hand.
Yun Ci stared blankly and accepted it.
This magic’s greatest effect was not conjuring a piece of candy, but changing his heartbeat.
His heartbeat suddenly quickened, just like last night.
