Chapter 90: A secret took shape.
The wind blew in gusts, rattling the windows. Rainwater seeped in through the window cracks, trickling down the walls to the floor.
Lu Qinglai walked into the room carrying dinner and, as expected, saw Zhou You curled up on the bed again, tightly hugging his head, gritting his teeth and groaning muffledly.
He put down the meal, sat on the edge of the bed, and called out to him very softly, “Zhou You.”
Zhou You trembled and subconsciously grabbed Lu Qinglai’s fingers. He gripped with great force; Lu Qinglai even thought he wanted to twist his fingers off.
“Continue…” Zhou You’s voice trembled. “Continue calling my name…”
Lu Qinglai pressed down on his back, pinning him to the bed, and leaned in close to Zhou You’s ear. He wanted to say something to Zhou You, something that would anger him, but at the last moment, he changed his mind and licked Zhou You’s ear with his tongue. Lu Qinglai almost immediately became excited.
“Let me help you, okay?” Lu Qinglai panted heavily, like a trapped beast unable to find an exit. “I’m a Harmonizer, I’ll help you. Let me into your ‘Sea Area,’ just for a moment, it won’t be uncomfortable… okay?”
Zhou You didn’t resist; instead, he turned his face to the side. He hooked Lu Qinglai’s fingers, his eyes glancing at Lu Qinglai’s reddened face, and opened his mouth.
On a normal day, Lu Qinglai would certainly have been wary. But the Zhou You before him was too weak to possibly resist him, so he leaned in, wanting to kiss Zhou You.
The moment their faces’ skin touched, Lu Qinglai suddenly froze. The next instant, he let out a慘叫 as if electrocuted and immediately rolled off the bed.
His “Sea Area” had been attacked. The moment he let his guard down, Zhou You had broken into his Sea Area, bestowing upon him a familiar pain with extreme speed.
Lu Qinglai rolled on the floor, unable to get up for a long time. Zhou You had only given him pain, without letting him feel any pleasure. Terror instantly seized his heart and “Sea Area.” Saliva dripped from Lu Qinglai’s mouth. The damp air and the sound of the wind and rain felt like a giant palm, pressing him firmly to the floor of the room.
He simply lay down completely, his ear pressed to the floor.
The guesthouse’s soundproofing was terrible. This wasn’t a proper establishment; they wouldn’t stay in a proper one. A hundred yuan per room, with the living room right below. The guests were playing instruments and singing in the living room, making a racket. They were taking shelter from the storm in a village near Migang.
At this moment, Lu Qinglai was suddenly disheartened. What was he doing following Zhou You here? He didn’t have to come. He couldn’t even figure out Zhou You’s true purpose for returning to Luquan. He had now become Zhou You’s slave. Whatever Zhou You said to do, he was willing to do. How shameful, how disgraceful… Lu Qinglai rolled over, lying on his back on the floor. When he turned his head, he saw Zhou You’s hand draped over the edge of the bed.
It was the hand of an adult. On the back of the hand were two thin scars, which had already blended into the color of his skin, almost indistinguishable.
Lu Qinglai remembered what Zhou You looked like when they first met. He was hiding in the woods near Jiwu Temple, stark naked, clad only in a thin piece of a tent.
Lu Qinglai’s spiritual entity was a monkey, an expert at finding his own kind. But even so, it had taken him a lot of effort to gain Zhou You’s trust.
Sitting up from the floor, Lu Qinglai crawled to the side of the bed, took Zhou You’s hand, and kissed his pale, thin fingers. He even wanted to put those fingers into his mouth, warm them with the tip of his tongue, and moisten the cold fingerprints with his saliva—but that would definitely enrage Zhou You.
The earlier despair, as if it had never existed, had already vanished from Lu Qinglai’s heart. He whispered an apology to Zhou You, saying he was too reckless, saying he was just too tired, which was why he had acted inappropriately.
Zhou You’s expression held a hint of disgust. But even the disgust was something Lu Qinglai liked. While he kissed the back of the hand delicately, he stared intently at Zhou You’s weary eyes. Because he had distracted him, the splitting pain in Zhou You’s “Sea Area” seemed to have temporarily stopped.
“If you go crazy again, just get lost,” Zhou You said suddenly.
Lu Qinglai didn’t dare make a sound, nodding to the young man who was almost young enough to be his son.
As always, after Zhou You punished him, he would give him a little gentle comfort.
“I want to drink,” Zhou You said.
Zhou You ordering him around meant that to Zhou You, he was still useful. Lu Qinglai hurriedly brought over a bowl of highland barley wine. Zhou You drank it sitting on the bed and returned to his usual cold and indifferent self. The calming of his “Sea Area” had liberated him. The closer he got to Luquan, the more frequently his headaches occurred. He knew this was not something that could be controlled physiologically; it was his own fear at play. The fear of Warehouse No. 0 was like a rusty crowbar, constantly trying to pry open his memories, awakening a sharp and profound pain like being cut.
Seeing Lu Qinglai’s hesitant expression, Zhou You was quiet for a moment. The strong liquor made him feel warm all over, soothing the discomfort of the pain.
“What do you want to say?”
“…I want to ask something.”
Zhou You glanced at the wind and rain outside the window. The room’s walls and ceiling were painted in high-intensity blues, yellows, and reds. Ethnic-style fabrics and patterns hung overhead. The pale windows were decorated with uniquely patterned iron railings. The space, surrounded by all this, felt like an alien world he had never visited. The sound of the wind and rain was exhausting. Zhou You looked at Lu Qinglai’s face and finally gave his slave a chance to ask a question. “Speak.”
Lu Qinglai stared intently at Zhou You. The room was dim, the light yellow. Zhou You looked like a withered, wandering soul.
“‘Zhou You’… what exactly is the meaning of this name?” Lu Qinglai’s voice was low and gentle. He stated his question slowly and steadily, word by word.
Zhou You knew this was his interrogation technique. He had never told anyone the origin of his name, but at this moment, in this alien world, he suddenly felt pity for his slave. This was an emotion Zhou You had never had before. He felt strange about this emotion, and then, he answered Lu Qinglai’s question: “It’s an identity I stole from someone else.”
Zhou You had once asked him if he needed a name.
He had said no.
Zhou You insisted on giving him one, but was afraid of offending him. “I’ll think of a few for you. Whichever one you think sounds nice, we can continue thinking from there.”
“No need, I don’t need one.” He sat on the floor, his head resting on Zhou You’s lap. The soft blanket brushed against his ear. He suddenly became clear-headed: he was unconsciously seeking comfort from Zhou You.
As he wished, Zhou You reached out and stroked his head.
The handsome boy with thick eyebrows and large eyes was a bit shy. “You’re like a cat.”
There was no one else in the quiet house. Zhou Yiqing had gone out to work, and he was keeping Zhou You company. He would do anything for Zhou You. He even wanted to be Zhou You’s pet.
“Then I’ll be your cat,” he said, and felt his own face burning hot as well.
“You’re a person,” Zhou You said earnestly. “You should have a name. What kind of name do you like?”
“…I like your name,” he said in a low voice. “Zhou You. Zhou You… Zhou You… Zhou You…”
He began to call Zhou You’s name over and over again, until the boy in the wheelchair, blushing, laughingly covered his mouth. Everything seemed to come naturally. He kissed Zhou You’s palm, and then their two burning faces pressed together. He didn’t even dare to kiss Zhou You’s mouth, only carefully kissing his cheek.
A secret was formed.
It was on a certain day in early spring. He had spent the long, cold winter in the Capital District, in Zhou You’s home, and now possessed a fiery secret.
Zhou Yiqing was home too little, leaving too much time and space for him and Zhou You.
He liked to hug Zhou You, liked to stroke Zhou You’s muscles that were slack from long-term lack of activity, but Zhou You was very resistant to his touch. He slowly found a way that both he and Zhou You could accept: after Zhou Yiqing went out, he could spend a long, long time with Zhou You in bed. Zhou You told him about the universe, about the laws of how all things in the world worked, about the history of the development of special humans and ordinary humans. He, in turn, was keen on licking Zhou You’s earlobe and kissing the corner of his mouth in the gaps of his speech, until he stopped his long-winded talk.
Zhou You was very confused, not knowing what pleasure his half-numb body could bring to the new guest in the house. But Zhou You soon discovered that the handsome and beautiful peer in front of him wasn’t really interested in his body. He would hold him, in the way a mother holds a child, his eyes always filled with attachment and admiration. Lust turned into careful caresses. The thin curtains concealed the spring light. They cautiously enjoyed their private pleasure, opening their souls and “Sea Areas” to each other.
The first time he entered Zhou You’s “Sea Area,” he lingered for a long time, reluctant to leave. It was a city suspended upside down in the sky, with roads leading in all directions. He couldn’t understand the reason for its formation at all, but he loved this place for no reason. He couldn’t bear to give Zhou You any pain and directly stirred up a tidal wave of pleasure in the “Sea Area.”
Zhou You, completely stunned by this terrifying pleasure, was very scared and very茫然.
He even found the Zhou You of this moment interesting.
Zhou You taught him to read, taught him to use a computer, and told him everything about his years of research on white noise. He learned quickly, and the more he learned, the more he understood: this boy he had met was a true genius. Zhou You told him, “I have very few friends,” and “No one would be willing to be my true friend.” He was always full of confusion: how could that be? He could understand others not liking him, because he had no identity, no origin; but he couldn’t understand how there could be people in the world who didn’t like Zhou You.
He wanted Zhou You to love him.
Although he couldn’t give examples, he began to harbor this desire: he wanted to become the only person Zhou You depended on, more important than Zhou Yiqing, and even more important than Zhou You himself.
He revealed more secrets to Zhou You, such as about his mother.
The first time he knew he could enter another’s “Sea Area”—at that time he didn’t know the place he saw was called the “Sea Area”—was discovered through his mother. After his mother was beaten by his father, he, too scared to speak, tried to approach her. Pain and fear had driven the woman to the verge of collapse. The moment he touched his mother’s shoulder, he found himself falling into an abyss.
His mother’s “Sea Area” was very deep, very dark. After entering and exiting many times, he finally discovered the self-awareness of his mother hidden within this “Sea Area.”
As a young boy, he poured out his wish to this woman who was many times gentler than his real mother: love me, protect me.
That night, very rarely, his mother actually hugged him. He was both surprised and delighted, vaguely knowing that what he had said had worked.
He was being protected, being loved.
It was also on this night that his mother made a request to his father. She said, their son was so big now, it was time for him to go to school.
He looked at Zhou You and said slowly, “And then, he beat my mom to death.”
The iron shovel was forcibly stuffed into his hands, along with several heavy slaps. Crying, he dug a pit in the yard and dragged his mother’s body into it.
He was very calm and composed, narrating the entire process, including how he pushed a rock to kill Zhou Xuefeng. He wasn’t agitated at all. To him, all of this was just a “story,” a story that was related to him but had passed too long ago.
But Zhou You cried. His master struggled to sit up from the wheelchair and hugged his pet tightly. At that moment, his heart was filled with an indescribable excitement. He couldn’t even pretend to show a hint of sadness: he wanted Zhou You to forever embrace him and comfort him in this gentle way, wanting all their physical actions to be an exchange of unspeakable vows.
The rain was still heavy. Lu Qinglai sat on a chair, some distance away from Zhou You.
He watched Zhou You, as if watching his own client.
“You wanted Zhou You to love you, so when you entered his ‘Sea Area,’ you placed a suggestion on him.” Lu Qinglai sighed with a “ha,” it was unclear whether it was a laugh or a pity. “It failed, didn’t it?”
In the inverted city, he finally found Zhou You’s self-awareness. The handsome boy with thick eyebrows and large eyes didn’t need a wheelchair in his own “Sea Area.” He was strong and tall, able to run and jump.
“…I don’t know what he was resisting.”
This time, Lu Qinglai really laughed. “Of course he would resist. He did like you. But no one wants to have such a feeling forcibly implanted in their own mind by someone else.”
“I don’t understand.” The young man’s face was pale, but his expression was calm.
Lu Qinglai suddenly thought that perhaps this was the expression he wore when he told the real Zhou You about his parents’ deaths.
“And then?” Lu Qinglai asked gently. He sat on the chair by the bed and, growing bold, reached out and patted the back of Zhou You’s hand.
Zhou You was silent.
“You were very angry, weren’t you? You only knew one way to make others love you, which was to tamper with their ‘Sea Area,’ but that method didn’t work. You were useless—that’s what you thought, right?” The low and steady voice echoed in the small room. Lu Qinglai looked into Zhou You’s eyes. “You were angry with yourself, and also angry with Zhou You. And then? You wanted to prove that you were also loved by someone, right? You wanted to prove that your abilities were still useful.”
So he turned to Zhou Yiqing.
Entering Zhou Yiqing’s “Sea Area” was simply too easy. He slipped in while Zhou Yiqing was fast asleep, easily broke through the breakwater, and found Zhou Yiqing’s self-awareness.
“And then he died.” Zhou You didn’t elaborate further, just stated it concisely. “Dad… Dad also went mad. He left home.”
Lu Qinglai grabbed Zhou You’s fingers. His Zhou You had suddenly become docile, but this docility infuriated Lu Qinglai: so the name “Zhou You” held a secret, and this was a secret he could never share or participate in.
If you want someone to love you, then enter their “Sea Area” and control them. This was the only way Zhou You was familiar with. But unfortunately, he failed every time. The love he hoped for never came back to him in the way he wanted.
Lu Qinglai suddenly gripped Zhou You’s hand tightly, pulled it to his chest, and pressed it against his left breast.
“Control me, Zhou You…” He used a lot of force. The pain from his palm made Zhou You frown slightly, and he finally looked at Lu Qinglai properly.
In his indifferent gaze, Lu Qinglai suddenly roared, “Then control me! Make me love you!”
Zhou You’s brows furrowed even tighter, then he let out a light laugh. “No need.”
Lu Qinglai’s chest heaved. This was the first time he had so directly revealed his feelings to Zhou You, but Zhou You must have already known his thoughts long ago.
“Even if I don’t control you, you are already my slave,” Zhou You said in a low voice. “I don’t need the kind of feeling you’re talking about. As long as I’m willing, I can control many people to like me and depend on me at any time.”
“It’s different… This is different…” Lu Qinglai grabbed his hands, covering his own face with them, both angry and pleading. “They are deluded by pleasure, they don’t really love you. They don’t love you. If they have a chance, they will definitely leave you immediately. Have you forgotten? You said it yourself, your Sentinel friend in the Capital District, Bian Han, he’s the same… He likes the pain and pleasure you give him, but he doesn’t like you at all. He even hates you…”
“What did you say?”
“Only me! Choose me!” Lu Qinglai roared. “Why don’t you want me! I’ve already proven it to you. You destroy others’ Sea Areas and leave them with false memories, and I can do the same! I can also make false memories become their real, confirmed past! I have the same manipulative power over the ‘Sea Area’ as you! I’m not inferior to your Zhou You…”
“Shut up!” Zhou You shouted madly, trying to break free from Lu Qinglai’s grasp.
“You’re responsible for destroying, and I’ll rebuild a new, false ‘Sea Area.’ We can cooperate very well.” Lu Qinglai didn’t let him escape from his hands. He was stronger than the thin Zhou You. “Am I not enough? Is my proof not enough?”
Zhou You stopped struggling. He knew Lu Qinglai wouldn’t dare to do anything to him. He just felt a brief moment of confusion.
Lu Qinglai was right. Zhou You suddenly realized that almost every one of his manipulations had ended in failure, except for Lu Qinglai.
Lu Qinglai had found him near Luquan. After patrolling the “Sea Area” of the unconscious Xie Zijing, this Harmonizer was shocked by the foul-smelling bloody rain and widespread ruins within Xie Zijing’s “Sea Area.” He told the people at the Western Office that there was nothing wrong with Xie Zijing’s “Sea Area,” but he began to piece together the possible truth based on snippets of conversation from those around him and secretly searched for that mysterious and powerful Guide.
He was infatuated with him, just as he was infatuated with and admired Zhou You. But he himself had never placed any suggestion of love in Lu Qinglai’s “Sea Area.” He gave Lu Qinglai pain and then pleasure, but he never intended for this person to love him.
For the first time since leaving the Capital District, Zhou You was confused by an unfamiliar emotion.
At this very moment, a pickup truck with civilian license plates stopped at the gate of the Western Office compound.
This was about 180 kilometers from Migang.
The sentry at the gate stared at this unfamiliar vehicle and saw three people get out one after another: two Sentinels and one Guide.
Bai Xiaoyuan sized up the courtyard and buildings before her, her gaze falling on the sentry.
Tang Cuo took out his Crisis Office work ID. He held one, and gave the other two to Bai Xiaoyuan and Gao Shu beside him, respectively.
Gao Shu himself was not an employee of the Crisis Office. His credentials were urgently made for him by Gao Tianyue, with the title “Director’s Assistant.”
“We are from Headquarters,” Bai Xiaoyuan said, walking up to the sentry and flashing her work ID.
The sentry checked the credentials, confirmed they were all real, and nodded. “Hello. But we haven’t received any documents about a visit from Headquarters.”
Bai Xiaoyuan looked serious. “This is a confidential operation. The documents were delivered directly to the relevant personnel.”
The sentry looked at her. “What relevant personnel?”
Bai Xiaoyuan: “…”
The vigilance of the Western Office sentry was much higher than that of the old gatekeeper at Headquarters.
Bai Xiaoyuan looked back at Tang Cuo and Gao Shu, signaling for Gao Shu to step forward. Gao Shu was tall and burly. When he was silent, he had the majesty of a strong man. Standing in front of the sentry, he indeed had more presence than Bai Xiaoyuan.
His approach made the sentry alert. Bai Xiaoyuan suddenly noticed that black fur was sprouting on the young sentry’s neck and jaw.
An idea struck her. “You’re a werewolf?”
The sentry stared at her. “State your identity and purpose. Otherwise, you cannot enter.”
Bai Xiaoyuan suddenly felt that his fierce face had a touch of friendliness. “We are all friends of Lei Chi.”
Lei Chi was the president of the Werewolf Association, the most famous among all living werewolves. As soon as his name came out, the sentry’s expression immediately changed.
“Lei Chi will also be coming here later,” Bai Xiaoyuan said, lying without blushing, still serious. “Comrade, we are on a special mission. The mission is extremely confidential. I cannot tell you any details.”
The sentry thought for a moment. “If you can’t tell me, then directly contact your liaison, and have him come to pick you up. If you can’t contact him, sorry, you cannot enter the office.”
Bai Xiaoyuan was helpless. “The person we are looking for is Qin Yeshi, who is from Headquarters.”
As soon as her voice fell, a furry bear face suddenly peeked out from the duty room behind the sentry. Then, a middle-aged man peeked out from behind the bear face.
He sized up the three strange young people at the gate, his calm face showing obvious arrogance and impatience. “Who’s looking for me?”
