Minmin, the Yu family’s two-year-old daughter, had started full-day daycare. The nanny, after washing and chopping the vegetables, marinating the fish, and cooking the rice, also took her leave.
Yu Jingzhong personally cooked a three-delicacy stir-fry, steamed a perch, and made a bone-and-tofu soup. As he served the rice, Yan Lanyu finally came upstairs, silently placing his car keys on the console in the entryway.
“Let’s eat,” Deputy Yu said, too embarrassed to look at Yan Lanyu’s expression.
They ate in silence, sitting opposite each other. One went to the study to work, the other used an iPad in the living room to look things up. The atmosphere in the house was one of deliberate silence, as if the confession downstairs had never happened.
Time passed quickly in the quiet. When it was time for bed, Yu Jingzhong returned to his bedroom, peeking through the door crack to see the living room light still on.
…What was he thinking?
Deputy Yu sat on the bed, pondering for a while, trying to use his powerful logical thinking and intelligence analysis skills honed over years as a special agent leader to analyze the current situation. But his mind was a tangled mess, more complicated than planning an overseas espionage operation.
As expected, I’m a toad wanting to eat swan meat… Deputy Yu thought, mocking himself. He washed up and went to bed alone.
In the middle of the night, Yu Jingzhong was awakened by a strange sensation. He vaguely opened his eyes and saw Yan Lanyu sitting by the bed, leaning over him.
Yu Jingzhong sat up in surprise, but was immediately pushed back and kissed by Yan Lanyu. At the same time, warm fingers, seemingly holding something sharp, pressed against his chest.
“You…”
The question was drowned out in the tangle of lips and tongues. Yu Jingzhong’s mind was clear one moment, hazy the next, an unspeakable sensation. In the confusion, he vaguely felt the sharp object pierce his flesh, then slide in hotly, completely disappearing into his chest.
…What is this? Is he trying to harm me?
No, no, if he wanted to harm me, I’d be dead already. This is…
Yu Jingzhong couldn’t think any further. He felt as if he were under a spell, his body completely out of control as he reached up and grabbed Yan Lanyu. They tumbled onto the large bed together, large expanses of bare skin pressing against each other, making every nerve ending tremble with excitement.
“What was that?” Between gasps, Yu Jingzhong barely managed to gather the last bit of his wits. “What did you…?”
The bedroom curtains were slightly drawn, moonlight spilled onto the sheets, and a strange glimmer flickered in the depths of Yan Lanyu’s eyes.
“It’s the mirror-heart,” he said softly.
“It’s half of my heart.”
That night, Yu Jingzhong dreamed of the ocean. He was in the waves, drifting involuntarily with the currents. At high tide, he was submerged and uplifted, seeing whale bones slowly blooming like flowers in the deep sea. At low tide, he was gently lifted out of the water by the waves, and looking up, he could see dazzling, hazy starlight.
The wind, carrying a faint salty scent, swept across the sea, bringing with it a faint, almost imperceptible cry, as if someone was calling his name.
Yu Jingzhong strained to lift his head out of the sea. An intense, unbidden urge made him search around, but the sound was intermittent, like hide-and-seek, disappearing each time he pinpointed a direction.
When Yu Jingzhong was submerged by the high tide, that painful cry for help sounded again, seemingly growing sadder and more desperate due to the long wait.
“Where are you?”
Yu Jingzhong asked loudly in the seawater, but only a string of bubbles emerged.
“Who are you?”
The tide ebbed and flowed, the wind never ceasing. The call finally came again, faintly.
Yu Jingzhong, with strength he didn’t know he possessed, suddenly swam vigorously to the surface of the sea, only to see what appeared to be firelight burning on the water not far away.
A person was tied to a wooden frame in the firelight, their body barely clothed, covered in blood, their head slumped weakly. It was impossible to tell if they were alive or dead.
For some reason, a trembling, angry impulse suddenly swept through Yu Jingzhong’s heart. He shouted and swam towards the firelight, but no matter how he struggled, he couldn’t get a single bit closer to the roaring flames.
The next moment, countless pale, withered ghostly claws suddenly reached out from the sea of fire, eagerly grabbing at the person tied to the wooden frame, seemingly about to drag them into the dark abyss at the bottom of the sea…
“Wait!” Yu Jingzhong shrieked, losing his voice, “Wait, no—!”
Blood, like tongues of fire, “whoosh!” ignited, stretching into an endless hell of blazing fire. The person seemed about to fall into it. In the last second, he looked up, gazing at Yu Jingzhong in the distant sea.
At that moment, the scene froze. His face was incredibly familiar.
—It was none other than the adult Yan Lanyu!
Yu Jingzhong froze. The next second, a tsunami rose from the ground and crashed down, pushing him into the abyss!
“—Ah!”
Yu Jingzhong abruptly sat up, instantly blinded by the light.
The sky was already bright, and the chirping of birds could be heard outside. It had snowed last night, and the sun shining on the snow reflected dazzling white light.
Yu Jingzhong gasped slightly, then after a moment, he rolled out of bed, his bare feet leaving wet footprints on the floor. Only then did he realize he was drenched in cold sweat.
He walked to the bathroom, looking at his face in the mirror, subconsciously recalling that dream.
The adult Yan Lanyu…
Yu Jingzhong washed his face with cold water, finally feeling awake. He turned to look at the messy large bed in the bedroom.
Despite the shadow left by that incredibly real nightmare in his subconscious, Yan Lanyu’s actions last night… must have meant he agreed, right?
Yu Jingzhong rubbed his temples, quickly washed, shaved, changed into a shirt and dress pants, and tiptoed out of the room. As he passed Yan Lanyu’s bedroom, he peeked inside and was surprised to find no one there.
Where did he go?
“Morning.”
Yu Jingzhong abruptly turned his head to see Yan Lanyu sitting at the breakfast table, where there was porridge, pickles, and a fried egg.
“Morning… morning.”
Yu Jingzhong coughed and walked to the dining table to sit down, seeing Yan Lanyu looking at something on his iPad.
He was also going to work at Unit 547 later, but he didn’t have as many dress code restrictions as Yu Jingzhong, so he just wore a light gray sweater. His neck, exposed at the collar, appeared exceptionally delicate and fair, almost dazzling.
“This… did you make this?”
“Mhm.”
Yu Jingzhong took two sips of porridge, then belatedly realized, “Have you eaten?”
“Mhm.”
The atmosphere returned to a slightly awkward silence. Deputy Yu wanted to say something but was too embarrassed, wanted to flirt but didn’t know how, so he focused on finishing his breakfast. He put down his bowl and chopsticks, grabbed his car keys, and said, “Then we’ll go to…”
“There’s something I want to tell you.”
Yu Jingzhong paused slightly, seeing Yan Lanyu put down his iPad. His peripheral vision caught sight of what turned out to be rental advertisements for apartments within Beijing’s Fourth Ring Road!
“Regarding what you said to me yesterday, I’m very grateful and I’ve seriously considered it for a long time. I’m very willing to maintain our current state, but I cannot progress further into a romantic relationship… This is good for both you and me.”
Yu Jingzhong was a little bewildered. It took him several seconds to react. “Do you know what you’re saying?”
Yan Lanyu didn’t answer.
“Your meaning is that you don’t want a serious relationship with me, but you’re willing to be ‘friends with benefits’?” Yu Jingzhong was confused. “What are you thinking?”
Yan Lanyu still didn’t speak, only stared fixedly at the intricate patterns of the checkered tablecloth, not even blinking.
After a long while, Yu Jingzhong grew a little agitated. Finally, Yan Lanyu took a deep breath and slowly said, “If you’re willing to understand it that way… yes, that’s what I mean.”
“…”
“Also, thank you for your hospitality during this time. But I’m an adult now and I have an income. It’s not proper for me to continue living here. I’ve already found an apartment near the unit, and if all goes well, I’ll be moving soon.”
Yan Lanyu suddenly closed his eyes, then opened them again a moment later, rising and walking towards the door.
“Wait!” Yu Jingzhong couldn’t help but stand up and ask, “Did I do something wrong? Or are you not satisfied with me? If so, just tell me directly, no need to consider what I think…”
“No,” Yan Lanyu said, his voice sounding incredibly sad for some reason. “That’s not the reason… Actually, I really like you too.”
The next few days, Yu Jingzhong was utterly dejected, completely out of sorts.
Fortunately, there were few things to do during the New Year, and most people in the Special Department were on holiday, so this situation didn’t cause any work errors. But for someone in Yu Jingzhong’s position, social engagements during holidays were inevitable, and who in the officialdom wasn’t a shrewd person? Almost everyone discovered Deputy Yu’s abnormality overnight.
Some of the kinder ones said that Deputy Yu was overworked and stressed, aging prematurely. The harsher ones simply suspected he had been single for too long and had some “issues” in a certain area, otherwise, why would he look like the whole world owed him five million?
After the New Year, a red-headed document arrived from above. Due to his outstanding performance in the Beijing Dead Sea and City H alien invasion incidents, as well as his quick and accurate alignment during the National Security turmoil, Deputy Director Yu Jingzhong was promoted exceptionally to Deputy Director of the National Security Bureau’s Twelfth Bureau, to which the Special Department belonged, enjoying vice-ministerial treatment.
At Yu Jingzhong’s age, this position was indeed one of high authority and power, making him an instant prominent figure within the National Security system. Overnight, he received countless congratulatory messages from central and local administrative organs, within the security system, and from the Heavens and Hell, truly making a grand splash.
However, the newly appointed Deputy Director Yu Jingzhong did not show much enthusiasm.
He sat in his office, watching the cigarette in his hand flicker, slowly burning down to its end in the swirling smoke.
…
“I really like you too…”
“I’m willing to maintain our current state, but I cannot progress further into a romantic relationship…”
“This is good for both you and me.”
Damn it, it’s good for me, but what’s good for you? Wasting your precious teenage years on me, not asking for anything, not wanting anything. This is clearly a sense of gratitude, you don’t like me but you’re too embarrassed to refuse directly, right?!
Yu Jingzhong gritted his teeth, extinguished the cigarette butt on a waste document, and let out a long breath.
A few days after the New Year, Yan Lanyu indeed found an apartment and moved out.
Deputy Yu, who had already been promoted to deputy bureau level, had fallen for eighteen-year-old Yan Lanyu, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. After several failed attempts to persuade him, he could only help Yan Lanyu pack his limited luggage, drive him to the newly rented small apartment, and look at the empty room with only basic furniture, a knot of frustration tightening in his chest.
“What are you eating tonight?” Yu Jingzhong asked, opening the empty refrigerator.
Yan Lanyu said, “I’ll order takeout.”
Yu Jingzhong’s face turned ashen. He went down to the supermarket and carried back rice, oil, meat, and vegetables. He then painstakingly added pots, pans, and utensils, checked the doors, windows, and gas, and repeatedly and irritably adjusted the misaligned lock on the bathroom door.
He was like a parent sending their child off for the first time, with countless small, urgent tasks piling up before he left. Every single one was a concern, every single one was important. He wished time would miraculously add seventy-two more hours, allowing him to arrange every single detail meticulously.
Yan Lanyu repeatedly said it wasn’t necessary, but before Yu Jingzhong left, he still cooked a full, overflowing three dishes and one soup, even wrapping them in plastic wrap and putting them in the refrigerator, fearing Yan Lanyu might forget them on the table and get an upset stomach from spoiled food a few days later.
“This place isn’t far from home, you can come back on weekends. I can still pick you up and drop you off for work during the week. Close your doors and windows when you sleep at night, don’t wander out. It’s very chaotic outside during holidays!”
Deputy Yu stood at the door, changing his shoes and lecturing, while Yan Lanyu stood in the entryway. The dim light made his silent profile appear indistinct.
“Also,” Yu Jingzhong paused, then added, “Although you said last time to maintain the existing relationship, I’ve seriously considered it, and it can’t be like that.”
Yan Lanyu looked up. For a fleeting moment, the expression in his eyes was hard to describe.
It was like thin ice, covered with tiny cracks on its transparent surface, about to shatter into countless pieces.
“You’re still young, and you don’t know how bad this will be for your future. If we were truly living together seriously, that’d be one thing. But just vaguely getting involved with me for a few years, it’ll cause you a lot of trouble later, whether it’s for further education or work. Enough to make you suffer.”
“My feelings for you are still the same,” Yu Jingzhong rarely showed such sadness. “But I’m older than you, I can’t be too selfish and take advantage of you while you’re young and naive… My thought is still the same: even if you fall in love with someone else later, you must be clear and serious about it. Those who mess around vaguely always end up breaking apart.”
Yan Lanyu stared at him blankly.
Under that gaze, Yu Jingzhong felt a little dazed. He couldn’t help but reach out, wanting to caress the young man’s delicate cheek.
—However, just before their skin touched, he suddenly reacted again and awkwardly withdrew his hand.
“Ahem, that’s how it is then.” Deputy Yu pretended to look at the sky outside and said, “I… I’m leaving now, I still have to pick up Minmin.”
Yu Jingzhong almost stumbled down the stairs, opened the car door, and got in.
This was a slightly old, slightly new residential area. It was late, and there was no one on the road, only a few cars parked not far away. In the cold winter, withered grass shriveled, and the swing set in the distant green belt was empty. Only the remnants of firecrackers were scattered haphazardly on the ground.
Yu Jingzhong didn’t start the car immediately, he just sat there, his gaze weathered and gloomy.
What if Yan Lanyu really fell in love with someone else?
Yu Jingzhong had once thought that when he retired, he would divide his assets in half, half for Minmin, and half for Yan Lanyu. Although not much, it would at least allow him to live a carefree life in Beijing. If the person he found later couldn’t afford a home in Beijing, they wouldn’t be homeless.
But now, thinking about it, if Yan Lanyu found someone else later, could he truly be so understanding and detached, without any lingering resentment?
Yu Jingzhong looked at the increasingly dark sky, and for the first time, an emotion akin to jealousy sprouted within him. He was jealous of that stranger who only existed in the future, jealous of the unreserved love that person would receive from Yan Lanyu, jealous of the happy times they would spend together; he saw himself, alone and nearing the end of his life, in that future.
Yu Jingzhong sighed deeply, subconsciously pulled out a cigarette, but couldn’t find his lighter anywhere.
Did he lose it on the road, or did he not bring it with him today?
Deputy Yu was incredibly frustrated. He punched the steering wheel, then simply chewed on the tobacco.
Working in a place like National Security, while not entirely without personal space, one’s personal space was severely limited. Yan Lanyu’s new address was quickly filed within the organization, and so everyone in the Special Department knew about it—this heartbreaking bit of gossip spread like wildfire across the land overnight: their boss, successful in his career, was unlucky in love, getting dumped right after his promotion.
Some felt sorry for Deputy Yu, while others thought the age difference of over ten years was indeed a mismatch. Even more—for instance, Comrade Shen Wan—felt they could finally pursue the true love of their life with peace of mind. So, he sent telegrams from Tibet to Beijing three times a day, but unfortunately, Yan Lanyu didn’t receive a single one; they were all intercepted by Yu Jingzhong.
Yan Lanyu went to work and left work under everyone’s gaze, quiet as ever, like a flower blooming in a hidden spot, attracting no attention. Deputy Yu initially insisted on picking him up and dropping him off every day, but over time, with overtime and business trips, their schedules were difficult to align. Yan Lanyu eventually got used to returning to his rented small apartment by himself.
The incident happened about half a month later.
Around that time, Deputy Yu was secretly dispatched to a certain location in Jiangxi for official duties. Yan Lanyu took a taxi home after work and one day found a cardboard delivery box at his door.
It was a very ordinary delivery box, yellow cardboard, with a lot of messy tape. Yan Lanyu initially thought his potted plant from Taobao had arrived. He leaned down to pick it up and instantly froze.
—The delivery slip had Japanese writing on it. The item was “Birthday Gift,” and the sender’s name was Ameno Kagishu.
Ameno Kagishu.
Almost no one in Japan knew this was that person’s real name. Even in the world of Onmyoji, this name was rarely mentioned. Yet, Yan Lanyu knew who he was.
In the Esoteric Sect, people would only respectfully and submissively refer to the owner of this name as—
The Grandmaster.
