HW Ch32: Let me chase you

Yu Xun likes him.

Yu. Xun. Likes. Him.

Until tonight, Yun Ci had always firmly believed that he and Yu Xun hated each other.

He should be the person Yu Xun hates most in this world, without exception.

But the person Yu Xun likes is him.

Even though there were so many clues that had been misinterpreted, the word “like” placed in front of him still left him bewildered. The cold wind outside kept blowing, seeping into his half-open coat.

“You’ve had too much to drink.” Yun Ci sobered up a bit and pulled Yu Xun’s hand off his shoulder. The rest of his words were extremely difficult to utter, “If you want to mess with me, you don’t need to use this method.”

This photo album could have been set up by him in advance.

Deliberately setting a trap for him, just to see him lose his composure.

Yun Ci, with no escape, tried to find a crack in this unexpected event to squeeze through. Even though this crack was indeed far-fetched.

However, Yu Xun, with his hand hanging down, said, “I’m already sober.”

“I’m very clear-headed now, Xiao Ci.”

Xiao Ci.

After that probing phone call, he seldom called him by this nickname.

Yu Xun was indeed very clear-headed.

The effect of the alcohol had transitioned from making one’s mind hazy and dizzy to amplifying certain feelings, causing the most genuine and earnest words in one’s heart to surface unrestrainedly.

Following the torn seam—this seam that might have been there all along, finally torn open—rather than stitching it up and covering it up as before, pretending nothing happened, and responding with “Yeah, I did it on purpose. I was messing with you; did I fool you?”—he chose to tear it open completely due to the amplified and uncontrollable feelings.

He didn’t want to deny it.

He didn’t want to say he didn’t like him.

Obviously, he liked him very much, had liked him for a long time, and had kept it in his heart.

He closed his eyes for a moment, his heartbeat faster than when he was waiting for him to pronounce judgment at the dinner table. He opened his mouth slightly and said hoarsely, “I didn’t mess with you.”

His voice lowered, but it was incredibly serious, “It’s not a prank.”

After Yun Ci pulled his hand away, the two were no longer in the previous close posture. Now, standing face to face, Yu Xun looked into his eyes when he spoke, with none of the usual teasing or indifferent nonchalance.

On the contrary, he was very tense.

Several times, he tried to say something but seemed to find it difficult to speak at all.

“It’s always been you,” Yu Xun finally said, “and I’ve never wanted you to know.”

Yun Ci caught the key point in his words: “Always.”

He paused, realizing that once the conversation reached this point, some things were completely torn open between them: “What do you mean by ‘always’?”

Yu Xun: “Since the second year of high school.”

Yun Ci believed he was truly not drunk; his speech was perfectly logical.

Even though he hadn’t been drinking, his mind buzzed with dizziness.

It took him a long time to find his voice again: “Why? In high school, you should have hated me.”

Yu Xun: “Although I’ve said it before and you didn’t believe it, at first, it was indeed a mistake. Liu Zi and I found the wrong person. Later, when I wanted to explain, it was already too complicated to clarify.”

He thought of the first year of high school: “After that, fighting with you was just a bit interesting.”

As for why and since when.

That incident of bravery was a turning point.

He discovered that this class monitor from the neighboring class was not at all as he appeared. Under the cold and arrogant exterior, there was an unexpected sense of integrity and “obedience.” There was a kind of awkward contrast.

After that, there were countless similar moments at the internet café during the holidays.

“I’ve heard a bit about your family situation,” Yan Yue said the first time he took him home, calling him into the office. “I’m sorry if it’s intrusive, but as a teacher, I’m very worried about you.”

Anyway, during that time, he often had nowhere to go. That person occasionally broke into his home looking for him.

Following Yan Yue, he stepped into Yan Yue’s home for the first time and saw Yun Ci, holding a cup of hot milk, standing frozen at the door.

He looked different at home compared to school. He had just taken a shower, his hair hanging smoothly down, and he was wearing light-colored loungewear with much of his sharpness subdued. Upon seeing him, Yun Ci immediately bristled and shouted, “Dad, why did you bring him home?”

Yan Yue coughed, “There’s an important competition coming up. I brought him home to work on some practice papers.”

Yun Ci said, “Can’t you do that in one of the many classrooms at school?”

However, despite saying this, he still gave up the only desk, “I don’t want to be too close to you. I’ll sit on the bed and write. Finish quickly and leave.”

Later, he quickly realized that this person just had a tough mouth.

“I didn’t bring a pen,” he said on purpose.

The next second, a black pen was thrown at him.

Yun Ci, sitting on the bed, said, “It’s out of ink, just throw it in the trash.”

He wrote a few lines; the ink was smooth.

“No scratch paper.”

Smack.

A crumpled piece of paper hit the corner of the desk.

Unfolding it, he found it was blank and clean.

“……”

At that moment, Yu Xun twirled the pen in his fingers and couldn’t help but laugh.

One day at Yan Yue’s home, he received a message from that person.

[Where did you go?]

[Do you think I can’t find you if you hide?]

[Which hospital is Yu Ying in? If you don’t tell me, I’ll search them all.]

[Come out, come home, meet me.]

[……]

He was relaxing on the rooftop of Yan Yue’s building. The rooftop wasn’t locked, and he sat on the edge with his legs hanging over the side, looking down at the ten-plus stories below, as the night wind continuously blew past.

“Shit.”

A familiar voice came from behind.

Yun Ci ran out to find him, clearly misunderstanding something. He wanted to persuade him but couldn’t find the right words. So, in his usual sharp tone, he said, “…Even though I got one fewer wrong answer on that test just now than you did. You don’t need to be so down about it. Even if you jump, there’s no guarantee you’ll win against me in your next life.”

……

He was actually in a very bad mood that day, sitting on the edge of the rooftop. Hearing this, he couldn’t help but laugh.

“What are you laughing at? Is it that funny?”

“A little,” Yu Xun said, his chest vibrating with laughter. He bent his legs, moving away from the edge, “I’m not down, just getting some air. Let’s go back, Xiao Ci.”

“Call me that again, I dare you.”

“Xiao Ci.”

……

When did his “confrontation” with Yun Ci start to change?

He couldn’t say.

It was only when he heard that someone had confessed to Yun Ci, and gossip from Class 1 spread to Class 7, discussing whether Yun Ci had accepted so-and-so’s confession, that he realized how much he cared.

Immediately followed by fear.

He (YX) was afraid he (YC) would find out. Not daring to think about how Yun Ci would see him if he found out, whether they could even remain enemies.

So he already wanted to retreat.

Retreat to a safe distance. When Liu Sheng invited him to drink, he didn’t refuse. Thinking he should retreat, he still couldn’t control himself and clicked into that album when he drank too much.

But no one could have predicted that after he had the thought of retreating, this secret would be unexpectedly torn open, completely exposed in front of Yun Ci.

……

In the corridor outside the private room, occasionally, the sound of others singing from nearby rooms drifted over.

Yun Ci stood frozen, unable to say the next word.

Yu Xun’s voice was strained, his knuckles white from tension. The thing he feared most had still happened: “You hate me, so even though we share the same dorm and I’m always around you, you wouldn’t suspect anything.”

“But I didn’t expect that sharing a dorm would bring us too close.”

Close enough to penetrate every aspect of life.

Almost every moment was easily seen by the other, including a certain unspeakable secret.

*

Yun Ci couldn’t remember how he got back to the dormitory building.

He didn’t even know how his fingers touched the screen, found Li Yan, and asked if he was in the dorm.

All the details were completely lost, like fragments of memory after drinking too much.

When he regained consciousness and his brain started to function again, he was already sitting in Li Yan’s dorm.

“Lights out, Uncle,” Li Yan said in the dark, “Why did you come at this hour?”

Zhou Wenyu was also about to get into bed: “You gave me a fright. With the lights out, there were clearly six people in the dorm, and then the door suddenly opened—turns out it’s our honorary roommate.”

Even though his name wasn’t on the list, Yun Ci, their spiritual roommate, chose the chair furthest from the door and sat with his legs folded, unusually silent.

When he came in, he didn’t wear the coat he was holding; he wore a sweater and thin-looking jeans, though the thinness was probably an illusion caused by his slender legs.

Yun Ci said, “I’m staying here tonight.”

Li Yan and Zhou Wenyu: “?”

Li Yan: “So you’ve finally set your sights on our beds.”

Thinking he understood, he immediately guessed the reason, “No need to explain, Uncle, I get it. You and Yu had a tie in the competition today, and you don’t want to face him in the dorm.”

“That’s the way of a strong competitor. You must win, crush the opponent, even a tie is unacceptable.”

“……”

Though it wasn’t that, it was even more serious.

Forget it.

Yun Ci couldn’t explain. It was only then that he realized Li Yan’s mind always worked in crooked ways.

His phone kept ringing.

Not returning to the dorm, the dorm leader Luo Sifang was the first to send a message: [Why haven’t you come back yet? Is Yu-ge drunk badly? Do you need help?]

Luo Sifang never expected that his efforts to reconcile the two sworn enemies and make them friends would fail time and time again. After a while, he sent another message: [It’s lights out, bro. Are you two planning not to come back?]

“You two.”

Seeing this term, Yun Ci realized something and exited the chat with Luo Sifang.

Sure enough, he saw a message from a certain black avatar sent a few minutes ago.

yx: [I’m going to Liu Zi’s dorm]

yx: [You go back to the dorm and sleep]

In the pitch-black dormitory, Yun Ci looked down at his phone screen, the glow illuminating his face. He stared fixedly at Yu Xun’s avatar and name.

Then he remembered what Li Yan had once said, “He’s been using that avatar for years; everyone at West High knows it.”

Li Yan, not far from him, was getting ready for bed. He glanced at Yun Ci’s phone screen, thinking to invite him to share the bed.

In a completely dark dormitory, any light source was particularly noticeable, and with one glance, Li Yan saw the black avatar.

Li Yan exclaimed, “Whoa! Isn’t that Yu Xun’s avatar? Why is he messaging you? The competition is over; is he still provoking you?”

Yun Ci immediately turned his phone around, completely covering the chat content.

The only bit of light in the dormitory disappeared, returning to darkness, and all of Yun Ci’s emotions were hidden again.

……

Black and white avatar, my ass.

He was thrown into turmoil by Yu Xun.

Thinking that while he was earnestly fighting, this person was secretly harboring a crush.

Yun Ci didn’t return to the dorm to sleep. The next morning, he still didn’t go back. He bought a toothbrush and towel from the downstairs convenience store, used Li Yan’s dorm bathroom to freshen up, and went straight to the classroom without even retrieving his books and pens from the dorm.

He could borrow books from others during class.

Pens were not a problem either. He could remember the key points from class and highlight them later.

The only issue was that the morning class was a big one, with two classes combined.

“Class monitor,” a classmate said as soon as he arrived, handing over half of their book, “share mine.”

Yun Ci said thank you, and then the classmate added, “What a coincidence, the class monitor from the other class didn’t bring a book either?”

“……”

Yun Ci didn’t dare turn around or move his gaze to look at the other class. He pretended not to hear the comment, but his hearing became more sensitive.

He heard Yu Xun’s voice.

He was as casual as always, different from how he spoke last night.

“Can I borrow your book?”

“Haven’t got it,” said the voice, “stayed up all night.”

After that, Yu Xun’s voice was gone.

Class started, and the teacher came in: “I’ll first go over the homework from the last class and the questions I asked you to think about. Before we start, let’s discuss them together…”

That classmate eagerly borrowed the book because he didn’t pay much attention in class and asked the class monitor to highlight the key points for him.

But that classmate secretly played on his phone for most of the class. Near the end, he looked up from his game and realized that none of the key points had been highlighted in his book. He reminded, “…Class monitor.”

He hesitated for half a second on the unlikely suspicion that the class monitor hadn’t been paying attention, then was horrified by another possibility: “No way, is this whole chapter all key points? Is it all going to be on the test?”

“……” Yun Ci said, “No, it’s just that I didn’t highlight anything.”

His class efficiency had never been this low.

More than half the class had passed, and he had only remembered half the key points. When he snapped back to attention, he realized the teacher had already turned the page.

“Class is over,” the teacher said, turning off the computer as the bell rang, “Remember your homework. Submit it to me by Friday.”

After the bell rang, half the students in the large classroom quickly left, eager to get to the cafeteria. The already spacious classroom seemed even bigger.

Yun Ci sat among the remaining scattered people, his fingers on his phone, pretending to play with it. He was considering whether it was better to leave quickly or wait until everyone had left to avoid running into Yu Xun.

While he hesitated, a few minutes later, most of the people had left. The noise of conversations and moving chairs gradually faded.

Just as Yun Ci made up his mind to get up and leave, he saw a shadow cast over his seat. Someone was standing in front of him, not moving.

Then he heard Yu Xun’s voice: “Let’s talk.”

Yun Ci didn’t expect him to confront him in public: “Talk about what?”

He was sitting in the corner, with Yu Xun standing, separated by a long row of tables.

This person was too tall. From this angle, he could only look down at him. His raised eyes seemed to droop slightly, the mole at the corner of his eye standing out.

The other sounds gradually faded away.

Yu Xun asked, “Do you hate me?”

He added, “Now that you know I like you, will you hate me?”

There were still other people in the classroom, so Yun Ci couldn’t openly argue or make a scene. The word “like” drilled into his ears again, and even though others couldn’t hear, he immediately exploded: “Did you have to pick this place to talk?”

Yu Xun: “If I chose another place, you would run away.”

“……”

Damn. That made a lot of sense.

Yun Ci didn’t know what to say.

Yu Xun leaned closer, his presence overwhelming and entirely different from his usual casual demeanor.

Yun Ci said, “I got up late. I missed the chance.”

Then, using annoyance to cover his nervousness, he asked, “So many questions, what else is there to talk about?”

The atmosphere froze for a moment.

In that moment, Yun Ci thought Yu Xun might say something like “Forget what I said last night when I was drunk,” and they would tacitly move on from the incident.

But he was clearly wrong.

Because Yu Xun maintained his leaning posture, his palm resting on the table, his tone casual, but the fingers of his hand on the table were still tense.

“Anyway, you already know,” Yu Xun said, “Let me chase you.”

Yun Ci: “?”

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