DLRAS Chapter 51

Chapter 51: I just want to see you.

As Huo Niansheng spoke, he stretched out his arm, opened the front armrest console, rummaged around for a while, and, relying on memory, pulled out an unopened lip balm.

It vaguely resembled a promotional freebie left in the car ages ago by his assistant, Amanda. Huo Niansheng rarely drove this car; he had casually tossed it inside and forgotten about it. By now, it was probably expired, but it was still usable. Chen Wengang closed his eyes and turned his face away, only to be pulled back up and draped over Huo Niansheng’s shoulder, a thin layer of shameful pink forced onto his face. Like a dying butterfly, he was helplessly pinned down, a specimen on display.

Huo Niansheng hushed him by his ear: “Don’t be afraid. We have privacy tint; no one can see.”

To make it easier for him to accept, Huo Niansheng usually incorporated a degree of intent to please. But today, the implication was different. Staring down at him from above, his actions weren’t caresses; ‘manipulation’ would be a more fitting word. Waves of white flashed before Chen Wengang’s eyes, and in his dizziness, he caught sight of Huo Niansheng’s gaze.

It was as calm as someone toying with an expensive jewel.

Approaching noon, the sun finally transformed into a burning fireball, its rays striking the cobblestone road until it practically reflected the glare.

Outside the car window, the scorching air had almost become visible heat waves. Fortunately, the air conditioning inside the car ran continuously, laying down a blanket of cool air.

Chen Wengang rested his head in the crook of Huo Niansheng’s neck, yet a layer of sweat still coated his forehead. His face was a sickly, exhausted white, while the circles under his eyes were bruised and dark.

Seeing him like this, a trace of an emotion akin to regret suddenly welled up within Huo Niansheng.

But he couldn’t quite put it into words. He lowered his head and kissed him: “Are you okay?”

Chen Wengang instructed in a low voice: “Uncle Lin asked me to bring the house keys back, but I forgot them. Could you go get them for me?”

Huo Niansheng knew this was an excuse. Leaving the car keys with him, he nonetheless complied and stepped out of the vehicle.

Chen Wengang sluggishly buttoned his shirt all the way to the top.

He had always cooperated with Huo Niansheng when it came to matters of the bed, occasionally not even refusing some excessive variations. However, being suddenly treated like this inevitably made him feel humiliated. He thought and thought but couldn’t figure out the reason behind it. Opening the door, a wave of heat immediately rushed over his face, making him not want to step outside.

But he couldn’t stand up straight inside the car, and his shirt, tucked into his waistband, kept bunching up uncomfortably. Braving the blazing sun, Chen Wengang stepped out and, using the car body for cover, retucked his shirt. He looked left and right; the surroundings were completely deserted, save for the ear-piercing, noisy cicadas.

He turned back, bent down, and retrieved a pack of cigarettes from the armrest console.

When Huo Niansheng reached the hospital room, Uncle Lin, though finding it strange, still handed the keyring over to him.

He knew Chen Wengang was intentionally sending him away, so he didn’t rush back. Walking along the lakeside path from earlier, he unknowingly returned to the same spot. Naturally, Zheng Yucheng was no longer sitting there, and Huo Niansheng didn’t care where he had gone.

The lake surface danced with sparkling ripples, displaying a summer liveliness, but he only felt an inexplicable irritation in his chest.

The accumulated emotions had mostly dissipated after their bout of intimacy, but a portion remained—ramping wildly inside him, unable to find an outlet, and even intensifying. Huo Niansheng patted his pockets; he hadn’t brought his cigarettes, but he was too lazy to take his hands out anyway. So he just stood by the lake with his hands in his pockets, watching the waterbirds.

When he woke up early that morning and heard about the car accident, his heart had violently exploded with panic. He couldn’t even wait for the driver, rushing over here in a hurry.

And then he saw Chen Wengang and Zheng Yucheng.

Having a heart-to-heart talk.

Actually, it wasn’t entirely accurate to say he was angry, but he hadn’t come here to see that scene. Anxiety and unease ravaged Huo Niansheng’s reason. Especially upon seeing the scrapes on one side of Chen Wengang’s face, Huo Niansheng hadn’t dared to think deeply, nor dared to face the possibility that he had almost lost him; he could only completely ignore it. He suppressed the many terrifying images in his mind, insisting instead on using a different method, impatiently confirming his existence.

Perhaps—

Suddenly, a call came through on his phone.

It was from Zheng Baoqiu: “Cousin, did Wengang-ge leave with you? Why isn’t he home yet?”

Huo Niansheng replied absentmindedly: “What do you need him for?”

“Could you ask him if he’s coming home for lunch? If he is, I need to let the kitchen know.”

“No need, I’m taking him out to eat.”

“That works too. Surviving a great disaster means good fortune is sure to follow. Treat him to a good meal to celebrate… Bah, no, never mind, definitely don’t tell him that.” Zheng Baoqiu spat several times in a row to ward off bad luck. “You know about what happened to his dad in the past, right?”

“Mm.”

“This time it’s Uncle Lin who got into a car accident and almost had something terrible happen. He’s definitely not happy about it. Just don’t bring it up, that’s all.”

Huo Niansheng paused, hung up the phone, and turned back the way he came.

But Chen Wengang wasn’t in the car.

The empty parking lot made Huo Niansheng’s heart violently skip a few beats. Braving the blazing sun, he started searching from the nearest patch of shade.

Surely no one would be foolish enough to stay out in the sun to bake.

He circled from one place to another and finally found him between two buildings.

When Huo Niansheng saw Chen Wengang, he was standing high up on a flight of steps, his eyelids half-lowered, looking down at Huo Niansheng expressionlessly.

This was the back of an office building. There was a glass door, and although it was locked with an iron chain, a bit of cool air was likely seeping out, which was why Chen Wengang had chosen to smoke here. His right hand cupped his left elbow, and a mostly smoked cigarette was pinched between his fingertips, a trail of smoke curling upwards.

Huo Niansheng’s gaze slid to his hand—the knuckles distinct, the pale back of his hand revealing blue veins and clear pathways.

The scene gave off an indescribable sense of desolate stillness, as if driving away all the scorching heat of summer.

Chen Wengang’s gaze followed him. He didn’t move, only gently flicked the ash with his index finger.

The cicadas grew even noisier.

Huo Niansheng frowned. Something within his chest detonated, collapsing layer by layer.

A sickeningly familiar wave of dizziness seized him, like countless sharp steel needles piercing his skull—he didn’t know how Zheng Yucheng’s hangover headache felt earlier, but now it was his turn to have a major blood vessel in his brain begin throbbing violently. Huo Niansheng ignored it, taking the steps three at a time and bounding up in two strides. Chen Wengang continued to watch him until Huo Niansheng stood right in front of him.

Waves of heat hit them continuously. Huo Niansheng hesitated, then reached out and touched his cheek.

Tentatively, the back of his fingers felt smooth, soft skin.

Suddenly, Huo Niansheng frowned, yet let out a massive sigh of relief.

Looking at Chen Wengang, his mind became crystal clear. All along, the sense of a game between them had never truly disappeared; it had merely been temporarily suppressed. He enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, enjoyed the other’s gentleness and submission, intending to claim him completely as his own.

But Chen Wengang could never truly become his plaything.

His core was like a gentle flame, radiating non-blinding light and heat, appearing completely non-threatening. But if someone insisted on provoking it, it was impossible not to get burned. Sometimes Huo Niansheng despised Zheng Yucheng’s childish, playhouse-like romance games. But when it came down to it, he couldn’t help but mock himself: he thought he was so detached and carefree, yet this flame could burn his bones to ash.

Having recognized this, Huo Niansheng instead felt a sense of resigned acceptance. The person who was truly afraid was actually him.

He was someone who could afford to lose. If he didn’t bow his head in this game, he would only suffer a crushing defeat.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Huo Niansheng exhaled again, switching to stroking with his thumb. “I apologize to you.”

Chen Wengang, on the contrary, smiled: “What’s wrong? Just because of that quick session in the car?”

“I’m sorry.” Huo Niansheng pulled him by the shoulders into his embrace. “I scared you just now, didn’t I?”

However, the embrace lasted only a few seconds before he was pushed away— “It’s hot.”

Chen Wengang pushed him out of the range of the escaping cool air, folded his arms again, took a drag of his cigarette, and turned his gaze into the distance.

Huo Niansheng had been rebuffed, yet the corners of his mouth turned up. He grabbed Chen Wengang’s hand, enveloping it, and lowered his head to kiss his fingertips.

His fingers curled inwards like a reflex, and Chen Wengang pulled his hand back.

He heard him say: “Slap me next time. Wengang, don’t be soft-hearted.”

He turned his eyes back, staring straight at Huo Niansheng. Finally, he smiled faintly, then instantly coughed twice, his voice hoarse.

Huo Niansheng was still talking to him, his voice seeming to hang suspended in mid-air. Chen Wengang listened at first, but couldn’t help spacing out later on. Exhaustion had essentially stripped him of most of his cognitive abilities; he was relying on the cigarette in his hand to keep him going, mechanically flicking the ash.

Huo Niansheng noticed the emptiness in his eyes and couldn’t help but smile again. It was still that cynical, careless smile of his.

But some feelings were ultimately different now. He just didn’t know if the other had noticed or not.

Suddenly, Chen Wengang’s hand felt empty. Caught off guard, the cigarette had been confiscated.

Huo Niansheng brought the remaining half to his mouth and took a deep drag. The embers slowly but resolutely flared up a bit.

One more drag, and it was nearly burnt to the filter.

Then, he pinched the butt out directly with his fingers, took two steps, and casually tossed it into the trash can by the door.

“You still have scrapes on your face, you shouldn’t smoke,” he said. “I’ll take you to get something to eat, and then we’ll go back so you can sleep.”

“Mm…” Chen Wengang thought about it and had no better ideas. “Let’s go.”

Huo Niansheng found a nearby restaurant and ordered a few light dishes that would be served quickly. After they finished eating, they headed toward the Zheng residence.

Chen Wengang rested his eyes in the car. After a while, he heard Huo Niansheng turn off the traffic radio.

Huo Niansheng was already very familiar with this road to the Zheng residence. As they neared it, he suddenly turned to look at the passenger seat. Chen Wengang wasn’t actually asleep; his eyes were still half-open. Huo Niansheng raised an eyebrow and asked him, “What are you thinking about?”

“Not thinking about anything. I’m so exhausted, but I can’t fall asleep.” Chen Wengang yawned. His head was starting to ache now, too.

“Then lie down properly once you get to bed,” Huo Niansheng said. “Relax a bit, listen to some music.”

“Okay,” Chen Wengang agreed absentmindedly, then suddenly asked, “Is that truck driver still in emergency surgery?”

Huo Niansheng remembered Zheng Baoqiu’s words and weighed his response— “I’m not sure. I’ll ask around when I get back and let you know.”

Chen Wengang’s voice carried a sleep-deprived huskiness: “Actually, we saw it at the scene. The front of the truck was crushed beyond recognition. It took so much effort to get him out, and there was blood all over the ground… It’s probably going to be tough.” He forced a small smile. “Be careful when you drive from now on.”

Huo Niansheng smiled comfortingly: “Of course. Stop overthinking it. Get a good sleep when you get back.”

Once he arrived home, Chen Wengang no longer had the energy to care about Huo Niansheng or anything else. He took a quick shower and lay down in bed.

His sleep quality was inherently poor—light and filled with dreams. Now, being overly exhausted, he tossed and turned, completely unable to fall asleep.

He didn’t know how long he had been tossing when the bedroom door clicked—

Startled, Chen Wengang sat up and recognized the intruder: “Why did you come in?”

Huo Niansheng slipped in sideways, smiling slightly, and placed an index finger over his lips: “Shh—”

With the old butler and Zheng Bingyi currently absent, it gave this man an opportunity to exploit. Ignoring whether it adhered to etiquette, he marched right in and sat on the edge of Chen Wengang’s bed: “Don’t worry, Baoqiu let me in. I didn’t climb over the wall.”

As he spoke, he looked up and surveyed the room.

By the window was a desk, upon which sat a laptop, a pen holder, and markers. A phone was plugged into a charging cable, its red light blinking faintly. Several books were stacked nearby, bearing library stickers; the top one was Social Work Project Management, with colorful sticky notes peeking out from the sides. Against the wall stood a floor-to-ceiling bookcase, packed with books, one shelf entirely filled with what looked like old textbooks.

This was the first time Huo Niansheng had intruded upon his private space, and Chen Wengang felt inexplicably nervous: “You…”

Huo Niansheng withdrew his gaze and gently pushed him back down: “I won’t disturb you. I just wanted to see you. I’ll leave once you fall asleep.”

He pulled the blanket over Chen Wengang like coaxing a child. Chen Wengang hesitated, but finally closed his eyes at his insistence.

He didn’t know when Huo Niansheng planned to leave, and he lay there rather restlessly, his brows unconsciously furrowed as he pretended to have already fallen asleep.

His nerves were stretching tighter and tighter when suddenly, a hand rested on the top of his head, stroking gently.

Stroke after stroke, the clamoring in his mind was unknowingly smoothed away.

Chen Wengang didn’t know if he had lain there for an hour or two. Being stroked like this continuously, he actually gradually drifted off to sleep.

This time, the nightmares didn’t come to entangle him. Enveloped in Huo Niansheng’s scent, he plunged straight into a deep, dreamless slumber.

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