SB Ch165: Nan Shan & Wu You [Extra]

Chapter 165: Secondary CP extra

Nan Shan often thought about what his life would have been like if he had not been adopted by his master.

A baby with congenital defects abandoned at the hospital’s entrance might have been sent to the police station, might have been ignored, and frozen to death on the winter streets. Or perhaps, left at an orphanage, not taken by anyone due to illness, growing up alone there.

No matter how he imagined it, most of the possibilities were not very pleasant. If everyone were truly up for sale, Nan Shan knew that he would belong to a very low-priced category.

So he always believed that the luckiest thing in his life was meeting his master, being taken in, and becoming the so-called “last disciple.” Therefore, he had no obsession, demands, or jealousy towards most people or things in this world, because those things were never his to begin with.

But someone who looks pessimistic on the outside only brings negative emotions to those around them. Nan Shan was well aware of this, so he wore a smile every day and got used to smiling like that.

He could have continued this pretense indefinitely, but his master fell seriously ill, and he couldn’t afford the treatment. Watching his master’s condition worsen day by day, he had no choice but to venture into the Altar.

When he returned to reality with the first batch of sacred coins and admitted his master to the hospital, Nan Shan was no longer afraid of anything. He knew he had to keep fighting like this.

In the Altar, he became accustomed to the malevolence of human nature until he met An Wujiu and his group, especially Wu You.

A child, coming to such a dangerous place, yet looking so calm and quiet, immediately caught Nan Shan’s attention. He handed the syringe containing the life-saving medicine to Wu You, not entirely at ease, but he knew that if even a child couldn’t save him, perhaps no one else could.

This child did save him.

When Nan Shan learned that Wu You’s experiences were similar to his own, he couldn’t deny that he felt a subtle sense of empathy. He saw through Wu You’s strong exterior to the fragility and confusion underneath but did not expose it.

He was abandoned because he had no value; Wu You was cloned because his heart had value.

These life-and-death connections gradually eroded Nan Shan’s deliberately frivolous facade, revealing his true self.

Even Nan Shan himself didn’t know when his feelings for Wu You started to change, but he had indeed changed.

Death was the Damocles sword hanging over his head, ready to strike at any moment. He could only transform his affection into the courage to protect Wu You, always prepared to die for him.

Back in peaceful reality, he instead retreated.

This child’s future was so bright, with countless possibilities; why should it be limited by him?

Two people standing on a suspension bridge, once they left that dangerous place, would their hearts still race?

Wu You stood right in front of him, grasping his wrist and staring at him with something flickering in his eyes, making it hard to refuse.

Nan Shan indeed couldn’t refuse. He had told many lies in his past and present lives, all with a smile, but now he couldn’t smile or lie to brush Wu You off.

“Don’t you want to talk again?” Wu You’s eyes were slightly wet, like a persistent puppy.

He couldn’t see his own expression, so he thought he might not be very likable. Maybe Nan Shan was just speaking casually; in this new life, with no memories of the past twenty years, Nan Shan might have already met someone he liked.

Wu You couldn’t even be sure if Nan Shan had truly felt differently towards him before or if he had always seen him as a younger brother.

These were all unknowns. He had had enough of groping in the dark. The first moment he regained his memory, he sought answers.

But Nan Shan remained silent, as if he had forgotten the promise he made back then.

The more Wu You thought about it, the sadder he felt. His eyes stung, and he turned his head.

The rain seemed endless, trickling down the edge of the billboard, but the sun didn’t leave either.

The strange weather mirrored their conflicting hearts.

Wu You let go of his hand.

“What’s wrong?” Nan Shan took a step closer, tilting his head, “Are you unhappy?”

“No.” Wu You sniffed, turning his face, “If you don’t want to talk, I’ll go home first.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk.” Nan Shan reached out, holding Wu You’s shoulder, instinctively wanting to keep him, “Don’t go home.”

Wu You looked up at him, not crying, but his eyes were red at the corners, very stubborn.

Nan Shan couldn’t bear to see him like this, but he didn’t know what to say for a moment.

“Can I hug you?” He blurted out.

Wu You still looked at him like a discarded puppy, pitiful yet stubbornly returning to its owner, pretending not to care.

“If you don’t object, I’ll take your silence as consent.” Nan Shan took the cotton candy from Wu You’s hand with his own cotton candy-holding hand, then opened his arms and half-hugged him.

The subtle distance between their arms and backs hinted at his conflicted heart.

“What I’m about to say, don’t be upset.” Nan Shan comforted him, his voice very low, only audible to the two of them, “The reason I wanted to say it that day was because we might not have a future.”

Wu You, who did not resist his hug, suddenly retorted, “Now that we’re all safe, you don’t want to say it anymore?”

Nan Shan paused, and Wu You could clearly feel his breath lingering around his ears.

“Because now everyone is safe, and there are many possibilities for the future, like you. In the future, many choices will appear before you.” Nan Shan’s tone was somewhat hesitant, as if he couldn’t firmly believe his own words.

But he continued, “Our current life hasn’t come easily. You and I both know that. Didn’t you say that your current parents treat you well? I don’t want to ruin that because of me…”

Wu You frowned and raised his head, interrupting him, “Do you want me to have a good life?”

Nan Shan paused, “Of course.”

The people around them were very busy, each seemingly with their own important purpose, rushing back and forth, indifferent in the rain. Only Wu You and Nan Shan seemed to be two people locked in time.

Wu You’s hand in his pocket was clenched into a fist, even ready to run away.

“Like.” The smile on Nan Shan’s face completely disappeared, as if stripping away the shell that concealed his inner loneliness, revealing his helplessness, loneliness, struggle, and fear to Wu You.

“Not just now, but in the past, in many cycles, I’ve always liked you.”

These words hit Wu You like a hammer made of cotton candy, not painful but leaving him stunned.

In that moment of confusion, the sadness he had been restraining finally poured out, and a few tears fell from his big, round eyes.

Seeing him so bewildered and shedding tears, Nan Shan felt incredibly distressed. He reached out to wipe them away, very carefully and softly said, “You You, don’t cry.”

Wu You raised his hand, wiping his face messily with the back of his hand, “Who told you not to say anything? I couldn’t guess what you were thinking…”

This time, he took the initiative to hug Nan Shan, burying his head in his chest, muffledly saying, “I know there are many choices for the future, but in so many past instances, I always chose you. Isn’t that enough?”

“I like you, Nan Shan.” Wu You was determined to break through this relationship, so he simply said everything in one breath, “If I can’t be with you, my life would also be full of regrets.”

Nan Shan was stunned, holding two tightly stuck cotton candies in his stiff hand, the sticky syrup trickling down his fingers, unable to stop it.

He could no longer hide that all his so-called contradictions were actually the same.

Sacrificing to protect Wu You and retreating to being just a friend, courage, and cowardice—all were Nan Shan.

If Wu You asked him to stay, no matter how he tried to convince himself, he would never choose to leave.

“Be with me, Nan Shan.” Wu You hugged him tightly, gripping the fabric on his back. His subconscious action was like acting spoiled, totally against the rules.

Nan Shan still held onto his last bit of reason, “Early love can greatly affect you. I like you and can wait until you go to college to officially date. Is that okay?”

Listening to Nan Shan, Wu You felt a bit out of it. He had already anticipated what Nan Shan would say. After hearing it, he began to bang his forehead against Nan Shan’s chest, repeatedly breaking the rules.

“I’ll be an adult soon, just a little over a year.”

“Yes, so how about on the day you turn 18?” Nan Shan began his “gentle persuasion” again.

Wu You’s actions stopped, but his forehead remained against Nan Shan’s chest as if he were thinking.

Finally, he compromised, “Alright then.”

Wu You lifted his head, putting his hands back in his pockets, staring at Nan Shan for a while, “…You won’t change your mind by then, right?”

Nan Shan smiled helplessly, reaching out to touch Wu You’s head, “What are you thinking? How could I?”

After the smile faded, he solemnly told Wu You, “I will only like you more and more. You can consider this year a trial period, and I will behave well.”

Wu You pursed his lips, glancing at Nan Shan’s hand, “My cotton candy is ruined.”

“Shall we buy another one?” Nan Shan asked, turning his head to see that the vendor had already moved elsewhere.

Wu You shook his head and said, “No need, we’ll come again next time. You’ll come with me, right?”

Nan Shan’s lips curled up, “Of course.”

The sunshower stopped. The crowded group waiting in the rain dispersed along with the twilight, and the hazy moon appeared in the sky. Nan Shan escorted Wu You home. Along the way, Wu You didn’t speak, belatedly feeling embarrassed about his earlier directness.

But Nan Shan seemed to know he would be awkward, continuously talking about recent events, like the white businessman who strongly believed in feng shui and the client’s stories about haunted places.

It wasn’t until they were downstairs at Wu You’s place that he changed the subject, “We’re here? So, you live here. It looks quite safe…”

Before he finished, Wu You, who had adjusted from the awkwardness, interrupted him and said, “Let me tell you something.”

Nan Shan nodded, “Go ahead.”

Wu You realized he was completely foolish.

His adjustment from awkwardness had gone too far, reaching the extreme of being very straightforward.

Wu You, with his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, stepped up onto the greenery planter, leveling out the height difference between him and Nan Shan. The air was filled with a floral fragrance, so strong that it made one feel dizzy.

Maybe it was because of this fragrance that Wu You really felt dizzy and leaned in to kiss Nan Shan on the cheek.

Due to the quick motion, his aim was slightly off, and he ended up kissing Nan Shan’s earlobe.

Not quite right.

Realizing what he had done, Wu You didn’t know what he was doing.

But at the very least, he couldn’t appear as timid as Nan Shan.

“Just consider it a test, I’m going upstairs.” Wu You, trying to act cool, stepped down from the planter, walking straight towards the door with big steps, and even extended one hand, waving goodbye without looking back.

Leaving Nan Shan standing there, dumbfounded.

Back home, Wu You mumbled responses to his parents’ questions, then went back to his room, throwing himself onto the bed, burying his face in the pillow for a long time.

He felt like his heart was going to explode.

He didn’t know how much time had passed when he finally calmed down a bit and suddenly received a message.

When he looked up to check, he found it was from Nan Shan.

[You You, this is Nan Shan.

We agreed that you would test me, but after going back, I thought for a long time and reflected a lot, feeling that my performance on the first day wasn’t great, and I’m really sorry.

Even though I’ve liked you for a long time, it was you who had to break the ice, which is really immature of me. Writing this to you has two purposes: firstly, in front of the cinema, I realized that you were not very sure about my feelings for you, which is my fault. Here, I want to make it clear that I like you very much, more than anyone (because I’ve lived through it again, so maybe even more than your parents), and I hope you can recognize this. Although I didn’t show it well in the past, you will see it in the future.

Actually, at the end of the cycle, in the forest, looking at your face and the sun about to rise behind you, I felt so sad. At that moment, I thought, I might really not have the chance to be with this kid in front of me, I might not even get to see him grow up.

I was really scared at that time, but saying it out loud would only make us more regretful, so I couldn’t confess to you.

Back in reality, when I found out your life had changed, I became a bit afraid to speak out. Everything that had happened seemed to trigger a butterfly effect, and I didn’t want to hinder your growth because of me. The future is vast, and you will meet many people.

But you told me you don’t want to have regrets. I don’t want to become your regret even more.

Now, I want to be a responsible adult and also express my love for you, so I won’t make you guess my thoughts anymore. I will speak out, protect you, and accompany you.

However, if I say or do anything inappropriate in the future, you must point it out immediately, as this is very important to me. You don’t need to hide any thoughts or feelings when you are with me; you can be yourself and be willful, which is also very important to me.

If during the test period, or any day after that, you suddenly don’t like me anymore, don’t be afraid of making me sad, just follow your own heart. I know I’m not a perfect romantic partner, so if there’s a better choice, I will always support you.

Right now, I’m very nervous—more nervous than participating in any game. I hope you can understand how much I like you after reading this, but I hope this won’t become a burden for you.

I will wait for you, don’t worry, but you don’t need to wait for me. Just pretend you have a button in your hand that you can press to stop at any time.

The second purpose of this letter is: if one day in the future, you change your mind but can’t say it out loud, just take out this letter and read it again.

I’m not afraid of you leaving, and you shouldn’t be afraid of hurting me, okay?

—Nan Shan.]

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