At this moment, Chu Tingyun found it hard to describe his feelings. It was as if a long-held belief was faintly shattering.
Yan Xun had explained it before, but at that time, he was just trying to numb him in order to escape. When he failed, Yan Xun immediately said everything was a lie.
So Chu Tingyun never believed it again. He knew very well that Jiang Jingshu and Yan Xun didn’t break up back then because they didn’t love each other anymore. He also knew exactly what means he had used to marry Yan Xun.
But now, both of them were telling him that their relationship back then was fake.
After a brief moment of mental blankness, Chu Tingyun’s first reaction was one of extreme shock and joy. But soon, he thought of a question:
When exactly did Yan Xun explain this to him?
It was, of course, before the car accident and memory loss.
Chu Tingyun wasn’t foolish; on the contrary, he was quite intelligent and perceptive. It’s just that he had never considered the possibility that even after Yan Xun regained his memory, he would still be willing to stay by his side.
In Chu Tingyun’s imagination, Yan Xun would, upon recovering his memory and realizing he had been deceived, become extremely angry, immediately confront him, and then argue fiercely before insisting on a divorce and fleeing.
So even though Chu Tingyun had occasionally felt that something was off with Yan Xun, he never once thought that Yan Xun might have already regained his memory.
But now, the evidence was clear. He could no longer deceive himself.
Shock, fear, confusion, anxiety, along with an indescribable mix of anger and hope intertwined, causing every cell in his body to tingle slightly.
At this moment, Chu Tingyun had no mind to question the truth of things he once cared about.
Right now, he just wanted to know one thing:
“When did you regain your memory?”
This question wasn’t an accusation, but due to the massive emotional upheaval, he had to exert every ounce of control just to maintain some semblance of composure. As a result, his voice came out cold and hard, giving the impression that he was angrily interrogating.
Jiang Jingshu had no idea what her brother was talking about.
What… regain memory? Did Yan Xun lose his memory?
Instinctively, she looked over at Yan Xun, only to find him standing frozen in place, silent for a long time without answering.
At this point, Yan Xun really had no reason to feel guilty. After all, he was the one who had been deceived first, and in the beginning, this man had played him like a fool.
By all rights, he should be angry now, turning the tables and furiously confronting Chu Tingyun. But when faced with this question, Yan Xun found himself momentarily at a loss for how to respond.
Things had happened too suddenly. He had never expected to reveal his regained memory under such circumstances.
According to his original plan, Yan Xun intended to gradually unravel their past misunderstandings while pretending to have amnesia. He wanted to mend the countless cracks in their relationship slowly, achieving a healthy, harmonious, and mutually trusting dynamic, and only then would he pretend to gradually recover his memory.
But now, he had accidentally let it slip.
Seeing Yan Xun remain silent for so long, Chu Tingyun glanced at Jiang Jingshu beside him. The long-standing knot in his heart, born of misunderstanding, wasn’t something that could be untangled with a few words, so he couldn’t help but add a jab:
“You’ve forgotten everything so thoroughly, but you remember her quickly enough when you see her, don’t you?”
The jealousy in that statement was so palpable that Jiang Jingshu quickly took a few steps back, distancing herself from Yan Xun to avoid any misunderstanding. The corridor wasn’t that spacious, but if it had been, she would have retreated a hundred meters away.
“It’s not like that, brother. Yan Xun really doesn’t like me, and I don’t like him either. The one I like is…”
She closed her eyes and said,
“…Lin Ran.”
This was the first time Jiang Jingshu had openly admitted her feelings in front of someone. She had kept it a secret for many years, even from Yan Xun. He only found out by accident during their university days.
…Lin Ran?
Chu Tingyun was stunned.
This was… something he had never imagined.
Who would have thought that the pampered young lady of the Jiang family would fall for a man with physical disabilities and an ordinary family background? And Chu Tingyun really couldn’t understand—when comparing Lin Ran and Yan Xun, how could Jiang Jingshu possibly prefer Lin Ran?
What was her taste in men???
But after glancing at the lit-up surgery room and then at Jiang Jingshu’s battered and disheveled state, what had once seemed completely illogical and impossible now began to make sense.
Earlier, Chu Tingyun had been wondering why Lin Ran was the one to save Jiang Jingshu. In his view, these two people had nothing to do with each other.
But it turned out Jiang Jingshu liked Lin Ran, which was why she had taken care of Lin Ran’s younger brother, Yan Xun. Naturally, back then, Yan Xun, who treated Lin Ran as a brother, would also care a bit more about the girl Lin Ran liked.
So that’s how it was…
The knot that had tormented Chu Tingyun for over three years was suddenly untied, just like that.
For a moment, he felt a bit dazed.
Click…
At that moment, Yan Xun suddenly grabbed Chu Tingyun’s wrist and led him away.
“Don’t talk here. Let’s find another place.”
Their issues were too complex, involving personal matters, and this wasn’t the right place to discuss them—right in front of the surgery room.
Chu Tingyun didn’t resist at all, easily allowing Yan Xun to pull him away. Or rather, it would be more accurate to say he actively followed. Right now, he was desperate to know one answer—the reason why Yan Xun had pretended to have amnesia and stayed by his side.
This time, it wasn’t Jiang Shenghai in the surgery room but Lin Ran, so Yan Xun didn’t take Chu Tingyun out of the hospital. Instead, they went to the stairwell leading to the rooftop.
It was too cold on the rooftop, but the stairwell was sheltered from the wind and quiet. Plus, it was only seven in the morning, so there wouldn’t be anyone around, making it an ideal spot.
The lighting in the stairwell was dim, the yellowish hue creating a somewhat heavy atmosphere.
The two stood facing each other, keeping a social distance like acquaintances who weren’t too familiar.
They stood silently for quite a while, neither saying a word. Yan Xun was still trying to organize his thoughts, but Chu Tingyun couldn’t wait any longer and finally asked,
“Yan Xun, did you… just regain your memory in the last few days?”
As he asked, he kept his eyes fixed on Yan Xun, not missing even the slightest change in his expression.
“…No.”
The young man shook his head.
At this point, Chu Tingyun already knew that Yan Xun had regained his memory, so Yan Xun didn’t want any more lies between them.
He planned to explain everything clearly, once and for all.
“It was over a month ago, right after I woke up in the hospital after being cut by the flowerpot shards. I remembered everything then.”
“…”
Chu Tingyun’s eyes widened slightly, as if he had forgotten how to breathe.
Over a month ago… that early?
But what shocked him wasn’t the timing, but the fact that it really was true! Yan Xun had indeed regained his memory at that time.
Chu Tingyun’s heart felt like it was about to leap out of his chest. In truth, he had already begun to suspect. Three years of marriage had made him too familiar with Yan Xun.
The eighteen-year-old Yan Xun and the twenty-five-year-old Yan Xun hadn’t fundamentally changed, but many details were different.
Chu Tingyun had noticed it many times. He often felt that something seemed different about Yan Xun after he woke up in the hospital, but he hadn’t dared to entertain the thought.
“Really? You really remembered back then?”
He couldn’t help but confirm again.
Yan Xun nodded, speaking earnestly, “Yes, really.”
It took a long while for Chu Tingyun to find his breath and his voice.
“Then…”
He couldn’t fully hide his emotions anymore. His Adam’s apple bobbed several times before he managed to continue asking,
“Then why did you lie to me and say you didn’t remember?”
“……”
If it were under normal circumstances, Yan Xun would probably say something like, “an eye for an eye.” But now, instead of saying that, he asked Chu Tingyun in return:
“Then what about you? Why did you lie to me when I lost my memory?”
“…… I didn’t lie to you.”
Chu Tingyun instinctively mumbled a small excuse, after all, what he had said were fragments of the truth.
Yan Xun raised an eyebrow slightly: “Mr. Chu, do I need to explain to you what a ‘montage-style’ lie is?”
Chu Tingyun: “……”
When he found out that Yan Xun had lost his memory, Chu Tingyun came up with this plan in just a few minutes. He didn’t state it outright, but instead used countless details to hint to Yan Xun, to make him believe in a love that had never existed.
He took real events, things that had actually happened, wrapped them in the guise of happiness, and then labeled them with Chu Tingyun’s name.
As time went on, Yan Xun, longing for love and happiness, would equate these two things with Chu Tingyun.
And eventually, that’s exactly what happened.
If Yan Xun had never remembered, then this plan, judged by its final result, would be truly perfect.
But Yan Xun did remember.
So now, Chu Tingyun couldn’t be more nervous and scared. He instinctively lowered his eyes to avoid Yan Xun’s gaze. But Yan Xun wasn’t as furious as he imagined. He didn’t hysterically question or demand a divorce right then and there.
Instead, Yan Xun remained surprisingly calm. He repeated the question from earlier:
“Why did you lie to me back then, Chu Tingyun?”
“……”
Of course, it was because he didn’t want a divorce.
Of course, it was to keep you.
Chu Tingyun opened his mouth, but before he could say these two answers, he heard Yan Xun continue:
“This isn’t a question. This is the answer I’m giving you.”
“……?”
What did he mean?
Chu Tingyun couldn’t immediately make sense of it.
The usually sharp Mr. Chu now felt like a grade-schooler stumped by a reading comprehension question, lowering his head to reread the passage.
He had asked Yan Xun: Why did you lie and say you hadn’t remembered?
And the other replied: Then why did you lie to me in the first place?
The latter is the answer to the former.
So, the answer is ——
“I don’t want to divorce you, Chu Tingyun.”
Yan Xun said this very seriously.
“……”
Not getting divorced?
Chu Tingyun found it hard to believe.
Because from his perspective, Yan Xun had never loved him before losing his memory, and the brief warmth and happiness during his amnesia had been built on lies. So how could Yan Xun, after remembering everything, possibly want to stay by his side?
But now that Yan Xun had said he didn’t want a divorce, Chu Tingyun, of course, had no objections. He didn’t press further as to why, but instead quickly solidified this conclusion.
“Then… we won’t divorce…”
He repeated:
“We’re not getting a divorce.”
As he spoke, Chu Tingyun tentatively reached out to take Yan Xun’s hand, and wasn’t rejected. Instead, Yan Xun suddenly exerted force, pulling him directly into his arms.
“But this doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you, Chu Tingyun. I’m still really angry right now!”
That was the truth.
Even now, Yan Xun was still very angry.
“You went way too far before. Is that how you’re supposed to handle a relationship?”
“Let’s not even talk about that forced kiss. You lied and said you liked me with the intention of marriage, but after the first time we slept together, you left me a card and walked away. Then you locked me up in that villa in the snowy mountains for over two months.”
“Using money to force me into a contract marriage, installing trackers, surveillance, investigating and controlling all my relationships, forcing me to break off with my best friend, and whenever we argued, you’d just force yourself on me.”
By the end of this, Yan Xun couldn’t help but curse.
“Even, even, Chu Tingyun, you f***ing… after I lost my memory, you still deceived me. And not only that, the lies you came up with were so half-assed. You couldn’t even put some effort into making up something logical…”
A poor college student forcefully taking a domineering CEO?!
How could he even come up with something so ridiculous?!!!
In short, ever since they met, the things Chu Tingyun had done, one after another, each and every one of them, had touched on Yan Xun’s biggest pet peeves. That’s why he had always thought that as soon as he saved up enough money to pay Chu Tingyun back, he would definitely divorce him, unwavering.
However, that was probably the most unsteady “firm” resolution of Yan Xun’s life.
Because Chu Tingyun had casually concocted a terribly sloppy lie, yet within just two or three months, it managed to pull him back.
All of Yan Xun’s principles and boundaries had been broken time and time again for this man.
He had cried bitterly but still cut ties with his family of eighteen years, yet when it came to Chu Tingyun, he couldn’t be so decisive at all.
Even now, as he brought up past grievances, Yan Xun was so angry he was gnashing his teeth. But the only punishment and revenge he could muster was to hold this man tightly in his arms, squeezing this insufferable person hard.
“……”
Chu Tingyun was really being squeezed to the point of struggling to breathe. But he was somewhat taken aback by the other’s sudden emotional outburst.
No matter how old Yan Xun was, he had always been quite rational and self-controlled, with an incredible amount of patience—his emotional stability even baffled Chu Tingyun at times.
Even when their arguments became heated, Yan Xun could calm down quickly.
He always kept his heart tightly wrapped, and Chu Tingyun could never break through, always ending up beaten and bruised, banging his head against the wall.
Until this moment——
Until Yan Xun, both angry and agitated, spoke about all the things he had hated over the years, accusing Chu Tingyun of doing the most unbearable things to him.
And what Yan Xun cared about most wasn’t even that Chu Tingyun had lied to him, but rather why this man had been so half-hearted—couldn’t he at least put in the effort to make up a lie that was more logical, a bit better?
Yan Xun was so angry, upset, depressed, and in pain.
But as he said all of this, he was still holding Chu Tingyun, squeezing him so tightly that Chu couldn’t even struggle or breathe properly.
At the beginning, it was Chu Tingyun chasing after Yan Xun, begging him not to divorce, clinging to him for dear life. But now it was Yan Xun holding onto him and refusing to let go.
“……”
Chu Tingyun was utterly stunned.
What he had thought to be the sword of Damocles hanging over his head didn’t turn out to be a lethal weapon when it finally fell—instead, it was a gentle breeze.
And thinking back to all the tenderness and love Yan Xun had shown this past month, which had come after regaining his memories, maybe… maybe Yan Xun really did like him.
And since the relationship with Jiang Jingshu was fake, and Yan Xun had never been in a real relationship before, didn’t that make him his little husband’s first love?!
Chu Tingyun was practically overwhelmed by this heaven-sent joy.
The extreme happiness and excitement filled his heart like sweet honey, making his blood feel as if it was boiling.
But right now, he was almost suffocating, so he hurriedly patted his little husband’s back, signaling for him to loosen his grip.
“Ahem… Xun Xun, are you trying to strangle me to death…”
“……”
Yan Xun froze for a moment, then quickly let go.
After the emotional outburst, his rationality quickly returned. He suddenly felt he had really lost his composure just now. He stopped holding Chu Tingyun and turned his head away, ready to push him off.
“Who’s trying to strangle you? I wouldn’t commit a crime like that for your sake.”
Yan Xun had said something similar three years ago. Not long after, he had almost chopped off the hand of a thug who kicked Chu Tingyun so hard he coughed up blood.
But this time, Chu Tingyun wasn’t having it when he was pushed away. He immediately pulled open his little husband’s jacket and squeezed in to hold him, wrapping his arms tightly around the young man’s waist.
“Alright, Xun Xun, it was my fault before, I was wrong. From now on, I’ll come up with more logical… No, wait, no more lies. Honesty! Honesty is the best policy.”
As he said this, Chu Tingyun couldn’t suppress the smile on his face.
Yan Xun: “……”
This is just too half-hearted!
Chu Tingyun’s approach to everything was always like this—he’d stop at nothing to get his way. Playing the fool or acting shamelessly was practically second nature to him.
“It’s too cold, too cold. You’re much warmer.”
Chu Tingyun refused to let go of Yan Xun.
“My resistance has been down lately. What if I catch a cold or fever from the draft?”
Yan Xun coldly responded, “There’s no wind here.”
He tried tugging at him a couple of times but couldn’t pull the man off.
“……”
After a brief pause, Chu Tingyun said:
“How about this, Xun Xun, why don’t you pretend to lose your memory again for a while? I think the eighteen-year-old you was cuter.”
“……Is that so?”
This time, Yan Xun yanked Chu Tingyun off in one swift motion. He turned around and walked away.
“Then go find the eighteen-year-old me.”
Chu Tingyun: “……?”
