A week later, the Zhou family courtyard on Mount Buzhou.
“Mother—!!!”
Maha, like a steamroller wrapped in ten thousand zhang of cannon fire, charged recklessly and left everything in his dust. In an instant, he sent the unprepared Jia Louluo flying from the bedroom to the living room, then knelt before the bed and grabbed the frantically chirping little chick.
“Mother—!!!!!!”
The little phoenix let out a terrified scream and was immediately stuffed into Maha’s pocket. He turned to run out. Just then, Zhou Hui came in from outside and they collided head-on. He immediately drew his sword to stop him. “Where are you going? Stop for me!”
The Great Peacock Wisdom King didn’t waste a single word, spewing a roaring golden-red fire dragon straight at him. “Who do you think you are? Get out of my way—!”
Clang, clang, clang, clang.
The wooden hut trembled, and the mountain cliff shook. Black smoke shot up into the sky, and birds and beasts within a ten-li radius fled.
Zhou Hui and his eldest son faced off with murderous intent. Suddenly, a sharp chirping sound came from the firelight. The little phoenix’s eyes were filled with tears as it desperately flapped its small wings, which barely had any feathers, stumbled across the battlefield towards Zhou Hui, and crashed headfirst into Zhou Hui’s breast pocket, not moving.
“What’s wrong, what’s wrong? You were scared, weren’t you?” Zhou Hui immediately acted like a victorious general, clutching his pocket tightly and running out. Maha was furious behind him, shouting, “Zhou Hui, don’t take advantage of his predicament! Are you trying to smother Mother to death like this?!” while chasing after him with twin swords. On the way, he once again knocked over Jia Louluo, who had just managed to get up, sending him out of the house.
“…” Jia Louluo slowly got up from the ground, looked at Maha, who was chasing and slashing at his father in the smoke of battle in the distance, sighed again, and sat cross-legged on a stone.
“Qin, want a rabbit leg, qin?” Second Young Master Zhang, wearing an apron, stood enthusiastically by the bonfire, beckoning. In front of him were two wild rabbits sizzling and dripping oil over the flames. His outdoor barbecue skills were quite professional. After roasting over an open fire for a few rounds, he would smear a layer of salt, then turn it a few more times and smear a layer of spices. This process was repeated several times, and the flavor seeped into the meat. When it was almost cooked, the aroma of the meat was rich and quite appetizing.
However, seeing him like this, the corner of Jia Louluo’s eye twitched. “No… no, thank you.”
“Aiya, we’re family, what’s there to be shy about? I heard my brother used to dote on you the most. How about it? The fattest leg for you. Don’t say your uncle doesn’t dote on you, second nephew!”
Jia Louluo: “…”
Jia Louluo took the roasted rabbit leg and couldn’t help but look up at the sky, afraid that in the next second, a hundred thousand thunder tribulations would strike down from the Formless Heaven and turn him into charcoal on the spot.
·
When the phoenix hatched, the nine heavens and ten earths shook. Apart from the strange celestial phenomena in the human world that caused much speculation, the other five paths received the news at the first moment.
Zhou Hui, who was closest to the scene, had immediately put the little phoenix in his pocket. Just as he was about to leave, he suddenly felt as if he had forgotten something. He looked back and saw Second Young Master Zhang with his butt in the air, lying on his stomach behind him, his face pressed tightly against the ground, his hands firmly covering his ears.
Zhou Hui’s feelings were simply indescribable. After a long moment, he asked, trembling, “Buddha, what are you doing?”
“Has it hatched?”
“It’s hatched.”
“Is my brother out?”
“He’s out.”
Zhang Shun let out a sigh of relief. He carefully raised one eye and, after confirming there was no danger, got up, covered in dust, and sat down on the ground. “Why the hell did it suddenly hatch? If I had known, I would have brought a soundproof gas mask! This is practically a soul attack. What if it creates another heart-demon?! I will never make the same mistake as last time!”
Zhou Hui: “…”
·
Zhou Hui, holding his newly born, wet wife, with a real, golden Buddha pendant, Zhang Shun, hanging on his thigh, with difficulty moved home step by step. His original plan was to respectfully sweep the true Buddha out… escort him out in a couple of days, to prevent Mount Sumeru from sending people down to demand him back. But the Phoenix Wisdom King, who had K.O.’d two Great Asura Kings, dealt with the heart-demon Sakyamuni, and personally sent the true Buddha back to the Formless Heaven with a single sword stroke, had too much deterrent power. Mount Sumeru really didn’t dare to act rashly, and not a single person came to visit.
When Zhang Shun saw this, he immediately had hope for a new life and shamelessly stayed at the Zhou family, refusing to leave. To show his sincerity, he took on the heavy responsibility of cooking, washing dishes, and cleaning the house, immediately showing off the outdoor barbecue skills he had honed to woo girls in the past.
Then, on the third day, Jia Louluo, who had sensed his mother’s birth in the human world, traveled thousands of miles to Mount Buzhou. When he entered the door and saw his mother, he immediately knelt down.
Zhou Hui had a psychological shadow of his son and his first reaction was to pack Jia Louluo up and throw him out. But as the saying goes, blood is thicker than water. The bloodline deep in the soul (…) is unbreakable. Second Young Master Zhang had already put his arm around Jia Louluo’s shoulder, all “you’re good, I’m good, we’re brothers,” and welcomed him in.
Even the brother-in-law had entered the door, so he couldn’t keep his own son out. Zhou Hui had no choice but to hold the little phoenix and slump in the corner of the house, barely comforting himself with the thought, “at least that real troublemaker hasn’t come yet.”
—Who knew that his last bit of luck would soon be shattered.
A week after the little phoenix hatched, Maha finally arrived from the sea of blood. The moment he entered, he tried to run away with his mother, almost causing another bloody case of patricide and filicide.
As for why Maha only arrived after a week, the reason was also very simple—when the phoenix hatched, it produced a huge amount of energy. A hurricane-like force swept across the sea of blood, forcefully pressing the roaring seawater into a flat surface. Maha, who was flying over the sea of blood, couldn’t dodge in time and was directly pressed into the water, where he was instantly knocked unconscious for a whole week.
When this group of people gathered on Mount Buzhou, it was simply a great battlefield of gods and demons. The small wooden hut had to be shaken down once every day. At six o’clock every evening, the battle would start on time. Maha would sneak attack, Zhou Hui would defend, and then the patricide & filicide would begin. Jia Louluo would sit cross-legged and chant Buddhist scriptures, looking at the Buddha who was busy by the bonfire, deeply feeling that one day he would be struck by heavenly punishment and turned into minced meat.
As time went on, Zhou Hui finally felt that this could not go on.
Not to mention that Jia Louluo had to diligently help rebuild the house every day, but even the little phoenix was going through fire and water every day, seeing nothing but heavy-flavored, violent scenes, which was too bad for its growth and development.
Zhou Hui finally decided to knock Maha unconscious and sink his body in the sea of blood, then move the whole family back to the human world with the little phoenix.
·
The plane flew smoothly through the clouds. In business class, a flight attendant pushed a food cart and politely asked, “Sir, would you like the chili beef with rice or the tomato baked pasta?”
“Neither, thank you.”
Jia Louluo’s indifferent eyes were revealed from under his bandages. He stared at the black, rubbery jerky in the cloth bag in front of him and took a bite.
Flight attendant: “…”
What does this person do? Is he a terrorist? What is he eating? It can’t be a plastic bomb, right… The flight attendant walked away, her mind in a mess.
“Hello sir, would you like the chili beef with rice or the tomato baked pasta?”
“Why doesn’t your flight have a first class? This seat is too small and really uncomfortable. And how come the movies are all from last year? That’s so insincere. That, um, garlic baked lobster with a Hugel & Fils 2000 Riesling SGN will do… What, you don’t have it? A 650g crawfish will also do. Still no? You must have orange French foie gras with toast, right? What, then what do you have?”
“Sir, we only have beef with rice or baked pasta.”
Second Young Master Zhang pulled down his Bvlgari sunglasses, revealing his movie-star-like, perpetually sparking deep-set eyes. After a long moment, he said reluctantly, “I haven’t eaten in a long time. How about this, three servings of each.”
Flight attendant: “…”
The meal boxes on the tray were piled up like a small mountain. The airline food emitted an indescribable, strong smell, intensely stimulating Zhang Shun’s stomach, which hadn’t had normal human food for several months.
Second Young Master Zhang nodded in satisfaction and casually stuffed a two-hundred-yuan tip into the flight attendant’s hand.
“S-sir, chili beef with rice or tomato baked pasta?”
Zhou Hui looked back at his satisfied brother-in-law and second son, then at the flight attendant who was in a mess in the wind, and said politely, “A glass of milk.”
“…Huh?”
“With sugar, warm, in a glass.”
The flight attendant couldn’t believe it was so easy this time. She pushed the food cart away in disbelief and came back a while later with a glass of fresh milk for Zhou Hui.
Zhou Hui took a sip and was very satisfied. “Thank you.”
The flight attendant felt that she had encountered a normal person and, overjoyed, blushed at Zhou Hui’s handsome, compelling smile. Just as she was about to say “you’re welcome,” she saw Zhou Hui stand up with the glass of milk, walk straight into the airplane lavatory, and close the door.
Flight attendant: “…”
The flight attendant was petrified, inch by inch, in the wind. What is this person going to do on the plane?!
·
Inside the lavatory, Zhou Hui placed the glass of milk on the counter. Immediately, a small, fluffy head chirped and emerged from his pocket, flapped its small wings twice, and stood tremblingly by the glass.
“Chirp—chirp!”
The little phoenix began to peck at the milk. Zhou Hui carefully held the back of the little chick’s neck with two fingers, afraid that it would get too engrossed and fall into the glass.
This kind of accident had happened once when feeding it at the airport. At that time, the little phoenix’s claws were tender, and its round little body was unstable. It fell into the milk with a splat. Before Zhou Hui could fish it out, the little phoenix had already screamed and flown out of the cup, spraying milk everywhere and instantly splashing Zhou Hui’s face with a suspicious white liquid.
“Chirp chirp… chirp chirp chirp…” On the plane, the little phoenix rubbed Zhou Hui’s fingers with its tender beak, then lowered its head to continue pecking, and then let out a small burp.
Zhou Hui picked up the little phoenix and kissed its warm, fine, soft feathers.
The day before he left Mount Sumeru, Venerable Bhadra had visited him late at night and admitted that it was he who had connected the passages between the divine and demonic realms half a month ago, prompting Zhou Hui to go to the Formless Heaven to visit the true Buddha—for which Zhang Shun was very grateful and insisted on having breakfast with Venerable Bhadra, which the latter quickly declined.
Zhou Hui didn’t mind Venerable Bhadra’s small scheme too much. He had already accumulated a bellyful of questions about raising the little phoenix, answers to which he couldn’t even find on the Heavenly Dao’s Zhihu. So he took the opportunity to grab Venerable Bhadra and start asking. In fact, Bhadra wasn’t very clear about the growth process of a phoenix chick either—back then, the little phoenix had been raised entirely by Sakyamuni in the glacier temple. The several great venerables, let alone participating, could hardly even see him. But the Venerable did his best to recall the old events from tens of thousands of years ago and still provided a few valuable opinions.
First, there was no need to feed it specially. The phoenix was an ancient divine bird, a creation of heaven and earth. When it wanted to eat, it would find something to its liking on its own. If it really didn’t eat, it wouldn’t matter for ten or twenty years.
Second, when the phoenix had just hatched, its intelligence was not yet awakened, just like a newborn chick. Who it was close to and who it was not was entirely instinctive now. As for whether it could recover the memories of its previous life, that was something even heaven couldn’t say for sure.
Zhou Hui was slightly saddened and asked, “Then when will it regain its consciousness?”
“When the phoenix transforms, its intelligence will naturally awaken,” Venerable Bhadra said with a slight smile. “As for how many years it will take to transform, that’s really uncertain… Among the ancient divine beasts, there is the white tiger that has not transformed for tens of thousands of years, and there is also the qilin that transforms as soon as it lands. It can only be said that when it transforms depends on the phoenix’s own will. Benefactor Zhou might as well… let nature take its course.”
Zhou Hui held the little phoenix in his palm, raised it to his eyes, and looked at its round, bright black eyes.
“You won’t make me wait too long, will you?” Zhou Hui said in a low voice.
The little phoenix tilted its head, completely not understanding what this handsome man was saying, its expression full of confusion.
However, a few seconds later, its eyes lit up, as if it had thought of a solution to the problem. It stretched its neck forward, flapped its small wings, and affectionately rubbed the corner of Zhou Hui’s mouth with its tender beak.
“Chirp chirp chirp!” the little phoenix said with satisfaction.
Zhou Hui touched its small head with a finger. Although his eyes still held a trace of sadness, a smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.
·
The plane landed slowly in Beijing.
Half an hour later, Zhou Hui, in sunglasses, leather boots, and a black motorcycle leather jacket, with his wife in his pocket, and his second son and brother-in-law behind him, stepped out of the capital airport like a Hollywood superstar walking the red carpet.
His car had already been parked at the entrance of the parking lot by a special person. Zhou Hui stood in front of the shiny black Mulsanne, holding the key in one hand, and pointing to the incomparably domineering LOGO on the front of the car with the other, saying solemnly, “Wife, this is our family’s car, bought two years ago, worth XXX million… From now on, it’s your milk powder money! You know!”
The little phoenix poked its head out of his breast pocket and looked up and down at this black behemoth. “…Chirp?”
“Tsk tsk tsk tsk, I don’t know how much protection money he extorted from those monks on Mount Sumeru. Don’t think I don’t know. Last time he went to the glacier temple and stayed for two months, and when he left, he pried off all the luminous pearls on the walls for lighting. He fucking stole a whole big bag of them…” Zhang Shun slammed the car door shut and was about to find Jia Louluo to complain together when he suddenly saw Jia Louluo’s calm expression. “—Huh? You don’t think this idiot is too much?”
“…It’s okay.”
“What do you mean it’s okay?! That’s the glacier temple! He made it look like an illegal construction! Even the gold nuggets inlaid in the floor were pried out and taken away. Bhadra said it’s no wonder he ran so fast when he left. They couldn’t even catch up with him when they rushed to send him off! And you still think it’s ‘okay’?!”
“…” Jia Louluo turned his head in the back seat and finally admitted, “This behavior itself is not right.”
Just as Zhang Shun was about to agree enthusiastically, he heard him say again, “But, I am his heir, so…”
Jia Louluo shrugged, making a matter-of-fact expression.
“…” Zhang Shun’s mouth twitched, and countless alpacas galloped through the Buddha’s heart.
·
Zhou Hui finally drove back to the State Security Special Division with ease, parked the car under the familiar gray building, and looked at the main gate of the unit through the car window.
Two guards stood on guard with rifles at the entrance. Above the cement steps, the inconspicuous glass door was open, no different from the main entrance of any office building in Beijing.
“Wife, this is where we work and earn money,” Zhou Hui stroked the little phoenix’s head, his tone filled with deep emotion. “Although we don’t actually earn much money here. After deducting the five social insurances and one housing fund from the salary, it’s not even enough to buy you two bags of high-grade egg milk snack bird biscuits from France. But here we have familiar friends and brothers, people we once fought with together. Importantly, they won’t abandon you in the face of danger, and they won’t betray you in the face of temptation…”
The little phoenix listened quietly, as if understanding something.
In the back seat, Zhang Shun and Jia Louluo’s eyes were filled with emotion.
“More importantly, it’s so smooth to work with them to engage in blackmail, do private work, and trick Shanxi coal bosses into coming to the capital to ask for peace talismans!” Zhou Hui said cheerfully. “Situ Yingzhi alone sold two dozen this year! He called me last time and said there’s still an outstanding balance of eight million waiting for me to settle!—So overall, this job is still quite profitable. From now on, that will be your snack money, wife!”
The little phoenix didn’t understand, but seeing Zhou Hui happy made him very happy. With a swoosh, he flew onto Zhou Hui’s shoulder and agreed loudly, “Chirp chirp! Chirp chirp chirp chirp! Chirp chirp chirp!”
In the back seat, Zhang Shun’s and Jia Louluo’s jaws dropped to the floor at the same time.
Zhou Hui kicked open the car door and got out with a swagger, his posture like that of someone who had just stepped on Afghanistan, punched Iraq, flattened the Pentagon and Buckingham Palace, and razed MI6 to the ground. He returned triumphantly like a people’s hero volunteer army and walked into the main gate of the unit under the dazed gazes of the two guards on duty.
“Comrades—!”
A loud roar shook the ground, and the entire building trembled a few times. Everyone rumbled to the second-floor corridor to look down.
Zhou Hui stood in the middle of the first-floor hall, took off his sunglasses and threw them aside, held up the magnificent golden-red little phoenix with both hands, his handsome face incomparably arrogant. “Comrades, hello everyone! I’m back with Phoenix Four!”
“Long time no see! Did you miss me—”
