Normally, if something happens in Beijing, they call Zhou Hui; if something happens in the northwest, they call Chu He. These two have pretty special statuses—if it’s not a particularly big deal, you probably can’t get hold of them. If the capital’s protection circle has a sensitive atmosphere and they have to pull out Boss Zhou for even minor incidents to maintain order, then the Phoenix Wisdom King is basically just a mascot. You can forget about finding him unless they predict an earthquake above magnitude eight.
Of course, the Phoenix Wisdom King occasionally provides spiritual faith services to big shots in the Military Commission and Political Consultative Conference. Specifically, this means opening his office door to let people come in, kneel devoutly in front of his desk, burn three incense sticks, and then weep and repent their sins. These sins range from possibly causing centuries of harm due to a poorly made policy to domestic troubles like the eighth wife’s fourth son’s sixth grandson’s Nth mistress getting pregnant—countless and various.
Sometimes when Section Chief Feng Si comes to work, he casually makes remarks like: “If we want to stop earthquakes, why not just ask the Development and Reform Commission to slow down oil price hikes?” or “Aviation can’t have accidents, so again, just ask the Development and Reform Commission to slow down oil prices.” And: “If she’s pregnant, then have the baby. Remember to contribute to balancing the country’s newborn gender ratio.”
These big shots don’t know Feng Si has (unilaterally) broken ties with the Heavenly Dao. Therefore, suggestions from the Phoenix Wisdom King are generally understood as the highest instructions from Buddha. Oil prices have been delayed countless times because of this.
It’s clear that if someone dies somewhere in Beijing, it’s none of Chu He’s business. The case files wouldn’t even be placed on Yu Jingzhong’s desk. If it weren’t for the Military Commission bigwigs personally calling in and emphasizing the seriousness, Deputy Yu might have casually assigned a member from Team One to go over, and that would be it.
But Deputy Yu pinched his nose and took Chu He to the scene, only to find the situation was not what he expected at all.
First, the body was not found in the Military Commission compound but at the external residence of the senior official’s eldest grandson—a private villa in Chaoyang District. Second, the dead was not a family member but a young playboy from a bar, the eldest grandson’s one-night stand from last night.
Reality is ugly. Normally, if a bar playboy dies like this, the most that happens is an insider files a case quietly and covers it up with a sudden heart attack as the cause of death to hide the scandal. No more than five people would even know about it.
But the problem was that the old man was in a rare mood today and suddenly wanted to see his grandson—he supposedly started out as a reconnaissance soldier when he joined the army and at over seventy years old still hadn’t forgotten how to scout the enemy. When he entered unannounced, he discovered a dead man on his grandson’s bed.
The old man was so shocked he nearly passed out. Ten or so direct family members were crowded on the villa’s first floor. The eldest grandson looked frightened and restless, pacing anxiously in a corner.
After hearing the whole story, Yu Jingzhong angrily said, “For such a trivial matter, you called me to bring both Team One’s and Team Four’s chiefs?”
The old man’s eldest son, surnamed Liao, is now a powerful deputy minister in a national department. He usually looks refined and elegant on TV but now was flushed red with worry: “No, no, the old man only meant to ask Team Leader Zhou to come take a look—after all, the death was suspicious…” Deputy Minister Liao thought to himself, “Team Four’s leader is brought in by you; who’d want to mess with this prick who’d rather go crazy over his ex-wife’s infidelity? One moment a saintly savior, the next moment a murderous demon!”
Yu Jingzhong suspected the Red Second Generation kid had played dirty in bed and accidentally killed someone, then used Special Operations to cover his ass. He was really fed up with such cases and didn’t want to hear nonsense—he just turned and left: “Handle the body and report to the police. Don’t misuse Special Operations’ resources. I’ll send people over later to give you some psychological support.”
Chu He is usually pretty easygoing when assigned tasks, so he followed Yu Jingzhong without objection. But after a few steps, Deputy Minister Liao rushed over and blocked him: “Wait, wait! We really didn’t kill him! The problem is, we can’t report this to the police; the corpse is still—”
Yu Jingzhong, already irritable, was about to lose it when the deputy minister broke into a cold sweat and finally confessed: “—the corpse is still moving!”
Yu Jingzhong was stunned. Turning around, he saw Chu He looking up.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Strange and continuous banging noises came from the ceiling overhead.
“Jumping corpse, huh? I thought it was something else.”
Everyone’s eyes turned to the door as Zhou Hui pushed it open and casually walked in.
This guy really made a habit out of showing off. Wearing the same black suit, on Chu He he looked lean, austere, and tidy; on Zhou Hui, it was hormone explosion times chaos. If he were a flower, he’d probably bite all the other flowers in the world to death and then forcibly drag the bee named Chu He over to wolf down in one gulp.
“Jumping corpse is a small matter. Go to Unit 547 to file a report, get in line. The mission will probably be assigned in about half a month,” Zhou Hui said casually. “Meanwhile, the whole community must be sealed off—no living people or animals allowed in. Just send an armed detachment of armed police to guard it. Ex-wife, don’t stand in the danger zone; come here, I’ll hold you.”
Zhou Hui reached out his hand, but Chu He didn’t move.
Deputy Minister Liao, like seeing a savior, rushed over, almost clinging to Zhou Hui’s leg: “Team Leader Zhou! We don’t have time to queue for Special Operations! If this leaks, our family’s done for. You guys don’t want the Military Commission factions disturbed either. Your National Security just had a shake-up recently…”
Zhou Hui ignored him, holding his hand out to Chu He with a smiling nod.
His eyes were very deep; high cheekbones, straight nose, and very sculpted features. Such handsomeness can seem a little sinister, especially when smiling—giving an overwhelmingly strong and cold oppressive feeling.
“Come here,” he said, “don’t just stand there.”
Chu He was silent for a moment, then finally walked over and was grabbed by the wrist by Zhou Hui.
He pressed on Chu He’s pulse and made a sound, hard to tell if approving or not. Then he held Chu He’s wrist firmly and lazily turned to Deputy Minister Liao: “Procedures have waiting times. There’s nothing we can do with so many cases—eating from the national treasury, we’re not exactly free agents.”
The banging above grew louder, even shaking the chandelier and dropping fine dust.
The filial sons and grandsons downstairs panicked, hurriedly moving the old man back. A few timid ones were trembling in fear.
“Easy, easy,” Deputy Minister Liao, an experienced official, immediately understood the hint: “We can skip procedures and privately hire Team One and Team Four chiefs to solve the problem. Deputy Yu can personally supervise. Naturally, a gratuity will be given afterward…”
Zhou Hui pinched his nose: “Don’t joke around. My ex-wife doesn’t take money. You’d better kneel at her desk and burn incense for three months instead.”
Deputy Minister Liao quickly refused: “Once given, a gratuity can’t be taken back! If Team Four’s leader doesn’t like it, then give it to Boss Zhou instead! How about this amount?” He showed a ‘five’ gesture with his hand.
Yu Jingzhong twitched his mouth, but Zhou Hui was calm: “No, no, different. Better to burn incense first.”
Deputy Minister Liao immediately changed to ‘seven’: “Sorry, I was too nervous just now…”
“Buy high-quality sandalwood,” Zhou Hui said kindly. “Cheap stuff makes your head dizzy. Laoshan sandalwood is good.”
Deputy Yu covered his face, unable to watch. Deputy Minister Liao bit his teeth, clearly panicked by the increasing banging upstairs, desperately raising a finger: “Make that amount double! Just get it done before dark!”
Zhou Hui finally seemed tempted. Turning tenderly to Chu He: “Ex-wife, do you think this is enough for the bride price?”
Chu He said nothing. Zhou Hui immediately added: “Just the bride price. The dowry is extra.”
Everyone stared at Chu He, their eyes burning like the midsummer sun. If there was an egg on the ground, it would have been cooked by now.
Under all eyes, Chu He paused, then said: “Two million.”
Before Deputy Minister Liao could react, he slowly added: “Two million each… including Deputy Yu.”
·
Deputy Yu was led upstairs by Deputy Minister Liao and his son. He muttered angrily back at Zhou Hui: “You’re way too experienced with these tricks. How many times have you done this before? Six million for one jumping corpse? You’re way too unlucky!”
Zhou Hui immediately protested: “It’s not like I asked for it—they volunteered to offer incense money to His Majesty the Wisdom King!” Then he quietly asked Chu He: “Darling, you finally understand the importance of market economics. But what about your cold and noble image? I remember you used to dig into my pocket for an ice cream.”
“…” Chu He said, “Changing the image now isn’t too late, right?”
The group arrived upstairs. The bedroom door was solid peachwood. Because it was so sturdy, it hadn’t collapsed yet, but it looked close. The wall near the door showed large cracks, trembling with the next round of impacts, and dust continuously falling.
“This is it,” Deputy Minister Liao stood at the corridor’s end, pale as death, not daring to come closer. “All because the kid didn’t keep himself clean, brought home all these shady people, causing so much trouble… Liao Liang! Get your ass back here!”
The eldest grandson Liao Liang must have had a wild night. His shirt still had makeup stains but he looked visibly uneasy: “I’ll go open the door for them…”
“Get back here!” Deputy Minister Liao yelled, anxious for his son, pulling him back forcefully.
Zhou Hui was still lecturing his ex-wife: “A man’s financial power is very important. It’s the same in nature — only the strongest male has the right to win the female’s heart. Only when he can provide enough food and a safe nest can the female get pregnant… That’s why I’ve been investing in businesses and real estate in the human world these past few years. Although that fellow Fan Luo nominally controls all Four Evil Paths, my liquid assets are definitely not less than his…”
Chu He looked a bit frustrated: “You’re overthinking it. I really don’t know how much money the Demon Lord has.”
“With the wave of market and financial reforms, the human world’s economy is definitely not slower than the demon world’s. Although the demon world has far richer mineral resources than the Heavenly Dao, the human world’s financial markets are far more active and manipulable, leaving the demon world ten blocks behind…”
“I really don’t know,” Chu He said helplessly. “Why don’t we ask Maha? Maha should be in the Hell Path; tell him to bring back a couple of valuable items from the Demon Lord’s palace.”
Zhou Hui even seemed a bit tempted, pondering secretly whether the valuable items in the Demon Lord’s palace or the potential damage from his eldest son returning home would cause greater loss.
“Forget it,” he finally decided. “Da Mao’s career is doing well. Better not call him back for nothing.”
The banging sounds grew louder and more frequent. Perhaps provoked by the living humans outside, faint growls even began to issue from the bedroom.
Vice Minister Liao grabbed his son nervously and retreated toward the stairs, seemingly ready to flee as soon as the door broke: “Um, Boss Zhou, that jumping corpse—”
Zhou Hui casually waved him off: “You all go first, tell everyone in the villa to leave. Just the two of us stay here — ah, and Vice Yu should stay too to oversee the operation. Others can come back after things settle.”
Vice Minister Liao hurriedly tried to leave, but Liao Liang stood firm: “Wait, I’m not leaving either.”
“What are you doing? Didn’t you hear Boss Zhou? You’re a debt collector from a past life—”
“This is my mess; I can’t leave until it’s resolved,” Liao Liang insisted. “Besides, if I can be killed by a jumping corpse under Boss Zhou’s nose, then this six-million price tag isn’t worth it, right?”
Zhou Hui seemed amused: “Kid, are you provoking me?”
“I don’t mean that, just want to take responsibility for what I should.” Liao Liang was tall, looked gentlemanly and reliable, though his face showed anxiety, but not the terror his father had. “I’m already uneasy about involving Grandpa; I want to help solve this, at least do my part.”
His father was ready to scold him, but Chu He suddenly interrupted: “If he wants to stay, let him stay. It’s not that serious.”
Vice Minister Liao was stunned. Chu He said no more, just turned and nodded slightly to Zhou Hui.
Their eyes always held something others couldn’t understand. Just a glance between them was enough for Zhou Hui to get the meaning and nod.
“Alright, stay here then. Just don’t get in the way,” Zhou Hui lazily said. “Those who need to leave, leave quickly. If the jumping corpse breaks out, don’t blame me for running away with the money first.”
Vice Minister Liao had no choice but to leave, glancing back nervously multiple times, going downstairs to lead the family to evacuate the villa quickly. Minutes later, only four people remained in the corridor. Zhou Hui gestured for Liao Liang to step back, then blocked Chu He’s way, kicked the door open with a bang.
The door slammed against the wall, bounced back solidly, but Zhou Hui’s foot stopped it.
However, the bedroom was empty; the banging sounds eerily stopped.
The room was in chaos—an unmade large bed and scattered miscellaneous items. Four pairs of eyes swept the room but couldn’t spot a ghost.
“It… it was here originally,” Liao Liang was a bit stunned. “We all heard the sounds just now!”
Zhou Hui walked to the bed, clicking his tongue and stroking his chin. The bed was strewn with women’s lingerie and bondage gear. By the bed hung seven or eight whips of various kinds. There were also low-temperature candles, metal endoscopes, and dildos, some with English labels, obviously imported.
“Buddy,” Zhou Hui sincerely said, “if you really killed someone in bed, we’re not responsible for cleaning up after you. The police station is just a left turn and two stops away on Bus 11, okay?”
Liao Liang gritted his teeth and swore: “Really not me! Most of these things weren’t used last night. Look, they’re all clean!”
Chu He actually took a scientific approach and examined the items carefully, but Zhou Hui quickly pulled him away and arrogantly said, “Old Yu, come take a look.”
Poor Yu Jingzhong, still reeling from last night’s blow, had to examine these “evil” items, standing dumbfounded at the bed for a while before sighing in frustration: “Is there really two million?”
Zhou Hui snapped: “Why would I scam you! I just asked you to look, not use them on yourself! Even if you want to, you need to see if the little beauty agrees!”
Yu Jingzhong’s expression was like someone going to the execution ground, and he grudgingly reminded, “Remember to transfer my two million to Yan Lanyu, okay?” Then with a constipated face, he picked up an electric dildo with two fingers, inspected it carefully, then picked out some other BDSM items with potential to cause harm, observed for a while, and finally nodded: “New.”
“Most of these I never used, only handcuffs last night to add some fun, really!” Liao Liang was frustrated to the point of madness: “If handcuffs could kill, I’d have nothing to say! What the hell is this all about?!”
“How did he turn from a living person into a jumping corpse?” Yu Jingzhong wiped his hands on his pants and asked.
“I swear I don’t know! I met him at a bar in Gongti last night. We were all drunk, came back, probably had a round, then fell asleep. This morning, Grandpa suddenly came over, walked right into my room and knocked on the bedroom door. I woke up and saw him standing by the bed, staring right at me. Damn, his face didn’t look human anymore. When I moved, he jumped at me—”
“You ran out of the bedroom and locked the jumping corpse inside?” Zhou Hui asked.
“Yeah! I felt something was off. Thought he was on drugs, but even on drugs you shouldn’t show symptoms the next morning!” Liao Liang rolled up his sleeve, showing scratches on his arm: “Luckily I escaped fast, or else—”
Chu He suddenly shouted, “Watch out!”
Liao Liang was startled. Chu He lunged forward, grabbed him, pushed him aside just as a shadow and a gust of wind came down, claws grazing Chu He’s ear, leaving four deep claw marks on the wall where Liao Liang had just leaned.
Liao Liang shouted, “Jumping—jumping corpse!”
The shadow landed. It was a completely naked boy, pale and ghostly, bleeding from the eyes, mouth wide open with drool dripping from sharp teeth, no longer human.
His fingernails were extremely long and sharp, some curled like blades. Chu He had narrowly avoided a swipe, but his ring finger’s outer side was grazed, now bleeding.
“Hiss—” The jumping corpse’s stiff gaze fixed on Chu He’s hand, a bloodthirsty grin spreading across its pale face: “Hisssss—hiss—”
Chu He covered his hand and stepped back. The next second, the jumping corpse lunged at him like lightning.
—Bam!
A loud crash shook the bedroom. Zhou Hui casually put down his foot, and the jumping corpse flew across the room like a cannonball, smashing deep into the wall, motionless.
“Damn it,” Zhou Hui said coldly, grabbed Chu He’s hand and looked at it.
Chu He’s fingers were slender, well-shaped, elegant—the kind that would be pleasing to watch when playing piano or simply holding hands in bed, fingers entwined, evoking a thrilling, exciting feeling.
Chu He didn’t mind the scratch and joked, “One kick’s worth six million.”
“Go wash your hand,” Zhou Hui said coldly. “Infection later would be trouble.”
Chu He went to the bathroom to wash the wound. Zhou Hui and Yu Jingzhong pulled the jumping corpse from the wall, tied it up tightly with the bondage whips, then found handcuffs to lock it to the bed leg. The jumping corpse soon woke, struggling fiercely, the handcuffs clanking with metallic friction. Luckily, these were real police handcuffs, not toys, so it couldn’t escape no matter how hard it tried.
“What… what do we do now?” Liao Liang, still pale from the near-death experience, asked.
“I’ll go to the bathroom first, then we’ll take it back to Special Unit for further inspection.” Zhou Hui clapped his hands and said with satisfaction, “Remember to transfer the payment, card swipe charges two percent handling fee.”
Liao Liang immediately agreed and hurried to ask Yu Jingzhong for the account number. Zhou Hui ignored the payment issue, clapped his hands, and went to the bathroom. Chu He was facing away, washing his hand at the sink.
His eyelashes lowered, showing a slender shoulder and prominent shoulder blades, his figure both sharp and straight.
Zhou Hui came behind, placed a hand on his shoulder, held his hand under the running water inspecting the wound, and casually asked, “What do you make of this?”
“Something’s off.”
“Oh? How so?”
“Escaping a jumping corpse with just a scratch—this is the speed of a trained martial artist. Also, a jumping corpse is a living person whose yang energy is rapidly sucked out, leaving only yin energy in the body, skipping the death process and turning directly into a corpse. I don’t think that Liao guy could have been done to that level with just one time…” Chu He paused, softly added, “not without something else.”
Zhou Hui smiled, like a gentleman, raised Chu He’s wet hand, and sucked on the injured section of his ring finger. The warm, moist touch made Chu He’s body shudder like it was electric. He pressed hard against the sink.
“Every time I see you hurt, I feel terrible.”
Zhou Hui smiled slightly, with a hint of chill in his smile.
“I can’t stand to see even a scratch on you, yet you almost lost your life to Maha. And after I stopped that, you’re still holding a grudge now.”
He licked and kissed the finger joint, his sharp canine teeth sending a subtle, strangely stimulating pain to the nerve endings.
Chu He instinctively tried to pull away but Zhou Hui gripped him like iron, forcing him to bite a small patch of lip to swallow the moan rising in his throat. His other hand braced against the marble counter, claws digging so hard the nails changed color.
Chu He couldn’t see his own expression, but his vision blurred as if veiled in mist. He didn’t know that a shimmering tear hung under his eyelashes, gazing at Zhou Hui like a mesmerizing sparkle, a look so tender one wished to crush him into spring soil.
“Guess what I was thinking just now? That kind of metal handcuffs with no lining would fit you perfectly…” Zhou Hui whispered by his ear, voice like a snake’s lick, sinister and seductive: “My temper’s been too good these few hundred years, that’s why you keep trying to run. It’s really testing my patience.”
Chu He couldn’t avoid it. His lowered gaze showed his strong shoulders and arms. He involuntarily breathed heavily.
“You…”
“Push me twice more, and I’ll have reason to act.” Zhou Hui’s voice carried a trace of regret. “But if it makes you cry, I wouldn’t know what to do then.”
Chu He’s face suddenly looked very embarrassed: “—Zhou Hui!”
Zhou Hui finally withdrew his hand from the back of Chu He’s pants, casually brushed his soft neck, leaving a wet, intimate mark: “—Just kidding.” He said affectionately, “How could I make you cry, darling? I guarantee you won’t even cry.”
Chu He’s expression was hard to read — embarrassed, angry, or something else — he quickly washed his face, water still dripping from his cheeks, then rushed out. Zhou Hui laughed triumphantly, forcibly pulled him back, slinging an arm around his shoulders as they walked away.
