That night, not only was Deputy Chief Yu not happy, but Shenwan Tiansi wasn’t happy either.
He squirmed with difficulty on the booth sofa and said in a muffled voice, “I think your act of tying up a Living Buddha is really too much. Do you have any basic reverence for the Buddha?”
Li Hu put her palms together, her face full of compassion. Dressed in a low-cut, tight-fitting miniskirt, she looked like a white lotus untouched by dust. “Amitabha—Patron, look here. Boss Zhou suppressed Buddhism in the Northern Wei Dynasty, Phoenix No. 4 rebelled against the Heavenly Dao, Lao San is a Jiangshi cultivating into a Hou, and I am a nine-tailed fox demon. Even Deputy Chief Yu smokes and drinks, his six senses are not pure, and he finds time for a little blind date and a little quickie. Why would you think we respect you?”
Deputy Chief Yu said angrily, “I did not go on a blind date or have a quickie!”
“…” Shenwan Tiansi struggled and cried for help, “Mama! Mama, save me—!”
“Your mama and your papa have gone home to have some fun,” Li Hu said lovingly. “By the way, Phoenix No. 4 really isn’t your mom. She just had a burst of maternal love back then, picked you up, and breastfed you for a few days. When the great lamas from Tibet sent people to get you, she gave you back—and the milk powder was even imported from Australia, Aptamil Gold Stage 3.”
Shenwan Tiansi said angrily, “This is not the time for product placement!” He twisted desperately, trying to get out of the ropes.
Unfortunately, a seventeen-year-old little Living Buddha could not resist the demonic power of a three-thousand-year-old nine-tailed fox’s rope. Shenwan Tiansi could only lie on the sofa with his butt in the air, mourning his true love, which had been suppressed by brute force before it could even begin. Li Hu turned and threw a flirtatious glance at Deputy Chief Yu, who was drinking moodily on the side, and said smugly, “How about that? I told you I’m on your side, you middle-aged uncle. Remember to praise me to Boss Zhou.”
Yu Jingzhong didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “I really didn’t go on a blind date or have a quickie…”
“Thinking about it counts too. Besides, as a mature thirty-year-old uncle, what’s wrong with having a quickie occasionally?” Li Hu said sharply. “A long-term sexless life can easily lead to prostatitis. Do you want to get prostatitis? As a human, you could just die from a casual illness.”
“I don’t think there’s a direct connection between being chaste and dying from an illness…”
“If you die, Zhou Hui won’t stay in State Security. If Zhou Hui is not here, Phoenix No. 4 won’t be either. If both of them leave, Lao Er, Lao San, Lao Wu, and I will all leave too,” Li Hu said. “That way, the country’s strength in netherworld combat will be far inferior to the little Japs and the little Koreans. So for the sake of national security, you should just go have a hookup occasionally. Huh? Right, little brother Yan?”
Yan Lanyu did not answer, sitting on the side and drinking water.
Deputy Chief Yu looked at Li Hu in despair, then at Yan Lanyu, seeming to want to say something, but the nine-tailed fox gave him no chance.
“Oh wait, I forgot you still have ‘the Sweeper’ under you,” Li Hu said, winking slyly. “Although the Sweeper’s personality is a bit reclusive, he’s much more reliable than Boss Zhou, who throws a fit from time to time. He helped clean up the H City earth-womb incident and the last State Security turmoil, didn’t he? Boss Zhou also said that if the Sweeper can grow up like this, he’ll have no problem sweeping through Southeast Asia alone in the future.”
“I’d like to explain…”
“Speaking of which, it’s thanks to you that you rescued the Sweeper from prison before his execution. Otherwise, where would you find such a loyal subordinate? Ai, actually, he’s good at everything, it’s just that his personality is a bit too reclusive. I’ve never heard him speak to anyone other than you. I thought he was a mute back then…”
Yan Lanyu stood up and said apologetically, “I’m going to the restroom.”
Deputy Chief Yu hastily put down his wine glass. “I’ll go with you—”
“Go past the dance floor, walk straight, and it’s at the end of the corridor,” Li Hu pointed out enthusiastically.
Yan Lanyu nodded, walked past Yu Jingzhong out of the booth, and disappeared into the bustling dance floor in a flash.
Yu Jingzhong sat down in extreme gloom, lit a cigarette, and asked Li Hu, “What the hell are you trying to do? You know he’s sensitive!” As he spoke, he kicked the little Living Buddha, who was twisting around and about to fall off the sofa, back onto it.
“Being psychologically sensitive and having a low tolerance are two different things…” Li Hu smiled and picked up the bottle of whiskey that Zhou Hui had left open. She poured it into the glass in front of Deputy Chief Yu and, without waiting for a reply, suddenly changed the subject. “—But, today I finally understand Phoenix No. 4 a little.”
“Huh?”
Li Hu smiled without speaking and placed the glass in front of Deputy Chief Yu.
She remembered when she was just a little fox. That year, she had been pricked by a poisonous thorn and was lying under a tree, looking at the dark, poisonous-gas-filled sky above the forest, trembling and letting out weak cries. As time passed, her body temperature dropped, her cries became fainter, and her vision blurred as her life gradually ebbed away. Just as death was about to come, she was suddenly picked up by a pair of warm hands.
She tried her best to open her eyes and, in a blur, saw a pair of gentle, lowered eyes.
Many years later, the nine-tailed fox, who had cultivated into a top-tier great demon of the animal path, wondered countless times how the high and mighty Phoenix Bright King had noticed her, who was whimpering and waiting for death under a tree, and with what kind of mood he had stopped and held a lowly, dirty little fox demon in his arms.
She didn’t know.
But when she saw Yan Lanyu sitting there quietly drinking water, she suddenly understood a little of that feeling from back then.
It should be that kind of, indescribable feeling.
“Amitabha, little beauty, this poor demon can only help you this far…” Li Hu thought with emotion as she watched Deputy Chief Yu down the whiskey.
·
Yan Lanyu washed his face, turned off the faucet, and took two paper towels to wipe his face.
He opened his eyes and saw a man behind him in the restroom mirror, staring at him intently while drying his hands.
“Sorry,” the man said with a smile when he saw Yan Lanyu’s gaze in the mirror. “I thought you were wearing makeup when you came in, at least foundation, so I was just curious to see you after you washed your face… hmm.”
“It’s alright.” Yan Lanyu put down the paper towel and walked out.
Unexpectedly, the man suddenly turned and blocked his path, smiling. “So, what’s your name? How about I buy you a drink?”
—This man was actually not bad-looking, in his thirties, quite tall, wearing well-fitting clothes of an unidentifiable brand, but with a notoriously expensive watch on his wrist. Yan Lanyu’s gaze went down, noticing his neatly trimmed nails and spotless leather shoes.
This type of man usually has a high success rate when hitting on people in bars, regardless of gender.
“No, thank you, I don’t drink.”
“Then let’s have a cup of tea. I know a very famous teahouse nearby…”
“I came with a friend,” Yan Lanyu said politely, walking around the man to go out. However, after two steps, he stopped again, turned back, and said, “Sir, there’s someone behind you. Be careful.”
The man was startled and turned around, but only saw Yan Lanyu pointing behind him. What he couldn’t see was a blood-stained face silently appearing behind him, its resentful gaze leaping over his shoulder to glare coldly at the young yin-yang master.
Yan Lanyu paid it no mind, turned, and walked out of the restroom.
·
When little beauty Yan returned to his seat, he was immediately startled.
“He was like this after only two cups…” For some reason, Li Hu’s expression was a bit strange, as if she were trying hard to hide some unknown guilt. “I was only going to give him one cup, but just now the Tiansi fell off the sofa, and I casually hit him a few times. When I turned back, I saw Deputy Chief Yu had finished the whole bottom of the bottle…”
Deputy Chief Yu was slumped on the sofa, his face flushed, unconscious. Yan Lanyu tried to help him up, but the drunken man was terribly heavy. Yan Lanyu stood there, a little troubled. He completely ignored the writhing Shenwan Tiansi (“Don’t worry about him, my true love! What’s so good about a middle-aged uncle! Come and save me, my true love!”), and asked Li Hu, “Can you help me carry him to the car?”
“Get Zhang Shun to do it. I’m a delicate girl.” Li Hu kicked Zhang Shun, who was so bored he was about to hatch little birds on his head. Hearing this, he pulled Yu Jingzhong up. “Hmph!” he grunted, struggling to half-carry him on his shoulder. “Damn, this guy is really solid… Can you drive? Or should I call a taxi for you two?”
“It’s fine, I can drive,” Yan Lanyu said, waving politely to Li Hu and Shenwan Tiansi. “We’ll be going then. See you later.”
“Give him a cold shower when you get home!” Li Hu shouted after them, worried. “It’s not cold this time of year! A cold shower is good for your health!”
Yan Lanyu waved to show he understood and, with Zhang Shun, carried Yu Jingzhong out of the bar and into Deputy Chief Yu’s specially modified second-hand Mercedes-Benz.
After all, they had been through life and death together. Zhang Shun was a little more concerned. Seeing Yan Lanyu get into the car and start it, he asked, still a little worried, “Are you sure you can drive? How about I drop you guys off and then take a taxi back?”
“I really can drive. Do you all think I’m some delicate flower who doesn’t know the ways of the world?” Yan Lanyu smiled. “I also know software engineering. Surprising, isn’t it?”
Zhang Shun was stunned. He saw Yan Lanyu skillfully reverse, turn, wave from the car window, and drive into the torrent of flashing car lights on the bar street at night.
“…He’s… he’s got to be kidding,” Young Master Zhang thought, his mouth twitching.
Yan Lanyu stopped at a red light. His gaze unintentionally fell on the side mirror, and he froze.
Outside the back door of the bar, the man who had hit on him in the restroom was walking out with his arm around a young man. The young man had dyed hair, a very worldly air, and was dressed scantily and very drunk, having been plied with who knows how much alcohol.
Yan Lanyu hesitated for a moment.
But then the light turned green, and the car behind him honked, urging him on. He had no choice but to step on the gas and drive away.
The traffic in Beijing at night was no joke. It was a stop-and-go drive that took nearly an hour to get home. Yan Lanyu parked the car in the apartment building’s garage, turned off the engine, and reached over to help Yu Jingzhong in the passenger seat.
However, Deputy Chief Yu seemed to have woken up in a daze. He mumbled, “…Who is it?”
“We’re home.”
Yu Jingzhong didn’t make a sound for a long moment, nor did he move. Yan Lanyu reached out to help him again, but saw Deputy Chief Yu suddenly open his eyes and look at him irritably, his eyes faintly bloodshot.
Yan Lanyu frowned slightly, got out of the car, opened the passenger door, and asked, “Can you get out by yourself?”
Yu Jingzhong tilted his head and looked at him, as if carefully considering something. After a long moment, he got out of the car unsteadily, holding onto the door. He almost stumbled and fell when he landed, but Yan Lanyu caught him.
“…Hmm?”
Yan Lanyu was a little dazed.
Yu Jingzhong had been an overseas special agent in his early years—a real top-tier agent. Not to say he was outstanding in all aspects, but he was very well-rounded and had no weaknesses. In terms of physical fitness, he was much better than the average person. Although it wasn’t very obvious with his clothes on, his muscle fibers were very, very dense and solid, especially in the back and arm areas, with almost no fat.
Generally speaking, such a person is solid, but not too bulging.
However, at this moment, when Yan Lanyu supported him, he could feel that his body temperature under his clothes was extremely high, and his muscles were very tense, almost like stone.
…Is this alright? he thought secretly. The nine-tailed fox didn’t put something strange in his drink, did she?
“Who are you?” Yu Jingzhong stumbled a few steps and suddenly asked hoarsely again.
“A passerby,” Yan Lanyu said casually, helping him to the elevator. He had just pressed the button when Yu Jingzhong suddenly pushed him hard. “…Go away!”
The push was so unexpected that Yan Lanyu almost fell. Fortunately, he leaned against the wall after a few steps. Before he could recover, he saw Yu Jingzhong still panting heavily, shouting, “Go away! You go away!”
The next second, the elevator doors dinged open, and Deputy Chief Yu immediately fell in.
“…” Yan Lanyu’s mouth twitched. He held his shoulder and slowly walked into the elevator. He saw that Yu Jingzhong had already stumbled to his feet and was leaning against the elevator wall, rubbing his head. Under the light, the exposed parts of the man’s body were starting to turn red, especially his neck and behind his ears. If the weather were a little colder, he would probably be steaming by now, looking rather ferociously masculine.
This was too unusual.
Deputy Chief Yu was the kind of man who was very resolute on the inside but appeared soft on the outside. You could say he had a chivalrous heart, or you could say he was a wimp. In short, he was the kind of person who would deliberately drive around a dead bird on the road.
His strength was not on the surface; it was all hidden in his heart. This kind of person should not exude too much of an oppressive aura.
The elevator ascended slowly, stopped at the designated floor, and opened with another ding. Yu Jingzhong staggered out, looking around a bit lost. After a long moment, he barely recognized that his home was the door on the left. He walked over, leaning on the wall, and began to fumble for the key in his pants pocket.
But the bottom of that whiskey bottle from Li Hu was really too strong. Yu Jingzhong was so drunk he was barely conscious. He fumbled for the key for a long time but couldn’t get it out. After a full few minutes, Yan Lanyu finally couldn’t stand it anymore. He went up, found the key in his pants pocket, and just as he was about to take it out, he suddenly froze.
This time, his mind really did short-circuit for a moment. However, reality didn’t give him much time to react.
Yu Jingzhong grabbed him, his gaze vacant yet full of anger, and shouted, “Why are you still here?”
Yan Lanyu’s first reaction was: Where… where else can I go?
But then his arm was grabbed by Yu Jingzhong. The force was so great that he instantly felt like his elbow might be dislocated. “Yu… Yu Jingzhong!”
Yu Jingzhong paid him no mind. With his other hand, he held the key to the keyhole, fumbled for a long time before inserting it, and opened the door with a click. Then, without any distinction, he pushed Yan Lanyu hard through the door!
Yan Lanyu fell silently onto the carpet.
The carpet was thick, so he didn’t feel any pain, but in the darkness, he heard the door close. Yan Lanyu rolled over and propped himself up on the floor. He saw Yu Jingzhong stumble and kneel, grabbing both his shoulders.
The next second, a breath smelling of alcohol and tobacco was on his neck, followed by hot, urgent kisses.
Yan Lanyu’s expression was one of astonishment. He didn’t know how to react.
Should he submit or resist, or pretend he didn’t know?
“Don’t move, don’t move…” Yu Jingzhong’s voice was hoarse, his consciousness unclear. He tore at his clothes clumsily, so roughly that a few buttons popped off. In the chaos, Yan Lanyu actually felt a pang of regret. He wondered if a single man living alone would have a sewing kit at home. If not, what would he do? Would he have to throw away his newly bought clothes?
Or just stuff them in a corner and pretend nothing happened?
He didn’t know why his mind would wander to this. As he was in a daze, he was suddenly pushed down, lying on his back on the carpet. Yu Jingzhong propped himself up and looked at him.
The two of them looked at each other for a long time. The lights were off in the living room, and it was dark. Only the light from the streetlights outside shone in through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Further away, the whistling sound of cars passing by could be heard on the road.
“…” Yan Lanyu finally reached out, held the back of Yu Jingzhong’s neck, and pulled him closer.
As their breaths intertwined, he slowly pressed a kiss on the man’s lips.
·
For Yu Jingzhong, the situation seemed to become very complicated when he woke up the next morning.
He opened his eyes on a messy bed. The sunlight stung his eyes for a moment. He closed them, rubbed his temples, and sat up, feeling the hangover headache torturing every nerve like a saw.
What happened last night?
Oh right, he went to the bar to pay the bill for that dine-and-dasher Zhou Hui, got drunk by Li Hu, and passed out in the bar’s booth…
How did he get back?
Yu Jingzhong opened his eyes, took a breath, and the next second, he suddenly felt that something was wrong.
He turned his head. His neck was so stiff that this simple action was like a slow-motion frame-by-frame playback in a movie.
There was another person in the bed.
—It was Yan Lanyu.
The young man was sleeping soundly in the morning light, his soft black hair spread out on the snow-white pillow. You didn’t have to look to know that the body under the messy blankets was as naked as his own. What was even more shocking were the red and purple marks on Yan Lanyu’s neck, chest, and the large area of exposed back skin. Most of them were blood spots, particularly obvious on the fair to translucent skin. Some places were already starting to turn blue.
Yu Jingzhong sat there for a full few minutes, his mind a complete blank.
After a long moment, he finally summoned the courage to open the blanket, took a look inside, and then immediately closed it, got out of bed, and rolled off.
He began to search for his clothes with trembling hands—scattered clothes led from the living room to the bedroom door. After rummaging for a long time, he couldn’t find his shirt. In his haste, he just found his pants and put them on. And just like that, with his sturdy upper body bare, he tiptoed out of the bedroom like a thief and went to the study at the other end of the corridor, closing the door.
After making sure the noise wouldn’t reach the bedroom, he grabbed his phone and dialed Zhou Hui’s number.
·
Meanwhile, in a duplex apartment in the next community, Chu He stood by the floor-to-ceiling window with a cup of coffee, hearing Zhou Hui’s phone ring on the dining table.
Zhou Hui was taking a shower in the bathroom. The sound of rushing water was mixed with his loud singing—today it was the opera Turandot. If he were to hold a solo concert in the Thirty-Three Heavens, it might attract a heavenly retribution like the Peacock swallowing the Buddha, but Chu He’s temper had been smoothed out over thousands of years of married life. Amidst the demonic music, his expression did not change. He picked up the phone, answered it, and said calmly, “Hello?”
Yu Jingzhong’s voice sounded very strange. “Where’s Zhou Hui?”
“In the shower. What’s wrong?”
Ten minutes later, Zhou Hui walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair. He saw Chu He sitting at the breakfast table, spreading butter on his bread, and actually smiling.
Zhou Hui thought he was seeing things. He stopped abruptly and looked carefully for a few moments, then asked in surprise, “…What’s wrong?”
“Deputy Chief Yu called you just now.”
“…Uh huh?”
“It was nothing,” Chu He said, smiling and winking at him. “I just told him that there’s no such thing as a time machine in the world.”
Volume Three: The Snow Mountain Goddess
