Deputy Chief Yu sat in his office smoking, filling the room with white smoke. Zhou Hui was almost choked when he pushed the door open and entered.
“Even if you confessed and were cruelly rejected and kicked out, you don’t have to be so tragic,” Zhou Hui walked into the office, coughing and fanning the air in front of his nose, saying with dissatisfaction, “Be a man and don’t cry. Stand up and jerk off! I’ll go with you to Zhongnanhai and kill all those guys, then unify the State Security and declare myself king. If you want a raise, you get a raise. If you want to be promoted, you get promoted. Buy twenty houses within the Third Ring Road, and the little beauty will be in your bed tonight! Really, what’s with this ‘Deep Love, Rainy Misty’ act with me.”
“…” Yu Jingzhong said, “It’s not what you think between me and Yan Lanyu. Also, it takes more than just having many houses to find a wife. What are you here for?”
Zhou Hui sneered, clearly disagreeing with Yu Jingzhong’s point of view, but he didn’t immediately refute it. Instead, he first glanced at the scattered documents on the desk.
—He had gotten used to monitoring Chu He, and whenever he saw someone looking at something with their back to him, he would subconsciously go over to see what they were up to. Yu Jingzhong had no intention of hiding it either, and spread his hands wide open. They were the information and brochures for the expansion of enrollment in various major universities in Beijing.
“Your daughter isn’t that old, is she?” Zhou Hui asked in surprise. “Why do I remember the little girl is only two this year?”
He looked at Yu Jingzhong’s expression and suddenly understood. “You can’t be—Lao Yu, you’re not that much of a romantic, are you? You’re going to send the little beauty to school?”
Yu Jingzhong took a drag of his cigarette and nodded. Zhou Hui immediately burst out laughing, falling back into his chair.
“Big brother, you’re hilarious, hahaha—How did I not think you were such a romantic? Are you from a Qiong Yao drama, hahaha—! You’re already unattractive and poor, so it’s already hard enough to win over the little beauty. And you’re sending him into a pile of hot-blooded young men in their twenties. Are you trying to cause a campus bloodbath? Hahahaha—!”
Yu Jingzhong said angrily, “Yan Lanyu should have his own life! At his age, if he doesn’t live a normal life now, he’ll never be able to be normal again!”
Zhou Hui slowly stopped laughing, stared at Yu Jingzhong, and wagged a finger.
“I must correct your point of view,” Zhou Hui said. “Both Feng Si and I believe that little brother Yan is very normal, mentally mature, and clear-headed, and has the right to decide his own life—in recent years, there have been fewer and fewer things I can force Feng Si to agree with me on, so you’d better respect our opinion. Besides, very few people can endure these things in their teens without breaking down. Think about that idiot Old Five. How old is he now, and he still steals the manga books I hide in the cabinet to read. And he’s a proper reincarnation of a Living Buddha from Houzang.”
Yu Jingzhong waved his hand impatiently. “He has self-destructive tendencies. Isn’t that life-threatening?”
“If you were put in his environment, you wouldn’t just be self-destructive, you’d probably commit suicide.” Zhou Hui comfortably crossed his legs and asked, “Do you know what kind of status this little brother had in the esoteric sect?”
Yu Jingzhong stubbed out his cigarette heavily, then lit another one with a pa, and continued to puff out smoke.
“A child servant—that’s very miserable. They’re basically not treated as human beings, probably just a little higher than the so-called blood slaves whose body parts are casually cut off. Besides, no matter where, very beautiful children don’t live very peacefully. Beauty without the power to protect oneself is always connected with sin.” Zhou Hui clapped his hands and said, “Oh right, I heard that the sect leader of that esoteric sect is about to fall to the demonic path? Think about what kind of person would fall to the demonic path while alive. How twisted would that be? I don’t even dare to think about it.”
Deputy Chief Yu’s brow furrowed tightly. He already had a face that looked overly worried, and this furrowing made his forehead wrinkles even more prominent. “Are you done?”
“He grew up in that kind of environment and still has a clear mind and a righteous heart. He’s not a little flower that needs to be held in your palm and cared for. If you want to send him to school to get a diploma and take the civil service exam, I estimate the little beauty will also be obedient, but he might laugh at you in his heart.” Zhou Hui stood up and patted his cuffs. “That’s all I can point out to you, brother. It’s up to you whether you listen or not… Smoke less.”
Yu Jingzhong was stunned, thinking, Is he concerned about me? Then he heard Zhou Hui say as a matter of course, “—I’m going to visit Old Four later. What if he smells the secondhand smoke?”
“…” Yu Jingzhong said angrily, “What on earth are you here for, spouting nonsense, you psycho Zhou!”
The psycho Zhou didn’t mind and flashed a smile, revealing his pearly white teeth.
“I almost forgot. I came to give a verbal invitation,” he said. “Old Five has been discharged from the hospital, and Feng Si has also recovered. I have no more excuses to imprison my ex-wife’s freedom of person—tonight at the Gongti bar, my treat. Bring your little beauty.”
Even Shenwan Tiansi, who was so seriously injured, had been discharged from the hospital. No matter how much Zhou Hui tried to make things up, he couldn’t find anything wrong with Chu He. Helplessly, he had to tear down the dense confinement talismans in the hospital room and graciously release his ex-wife from the room.
Actually, he wasn’t very happy about it, because he had gotten addicted to the game of tying his ex-wife to the hospital room and having a go at it from time to time. Especially since Chu He had been well-nourished by his soups and broths, his unnatural paleness of the past few years had gradually recovered, and he was extremely sensitive after a short separation, like a soft and fragrant cake fresh out of the oven, making Zhou Hui lose his mind for everything else all day.
Although this piece of cake sometimes wanted to wrap itself in a box, to Zhou Hui, this packaging was like fragile cellophane that could be stripped clean in a couple of moves. When he was particularly excited, Zhou Hui even had the impulse to have a third child, but fortunately, Chu He’s last shred of reason was still there, and he gritted his teeth and refused.
Afterwards, Zhou Hui had a smoke and thought about it, and also felt it wasn’t appropriate. He was desperate for another daughter, but what if it was another debt-collecting son? Could he stuff it back in?
Before Maha was born, Zhou Hui had fantasized about having a little girl who looked exactly like the Phoenix Wisdom King. Although his hope was dashed after Maha was born, at least his looks were inherited from the Phoenix, so he reluctantly raised him as a girl. When it was the second child, Jia Louluo’s turn, Zhou Hui thought, This time I should get a daughter, right? But when the child was born, not only was it not a daughter, but it didn’t even inherit his mother’s looks. The father almost had a heart attack from excessive grief.
So every time he saw Yu Jingzhong’s two-year-old little daughter, Zhou Hui felt very jealous, thinking it would be nice to adopt one too. But then he thought, based on experience, no matter what Chu He adopted, the ending would not be too good—the Buddha bone became a disastrous brother-in-law, the nine-tailed fox became a hermaphrodite who was sometimes male and sometimes female, and even Shenwan Tiansi, whom he had fed for a few days for no reason, ended up becoming a shut-in-to-be who spent all day eating potato chips and stealing manga books to read.
What if the daughter he raised turned out to be a female demon lord who rampaged through the six realms like her eldest brother, or had an independent mind and ran away from home for no reason like her second brother? What a troublesome thing that would be.
Zhou Hui slouched in the booth at the bar, scooped a few ice cubes into his whiskey, and sighed sadly.
Zhang Shun asked, “What’s wrong with you now?”
Li Hu tapped his chin with a finger painted with bright red nail polish, a gloating smile on his face. “He wants to have a third child, but your brother won’t let him.”
“Have it yourself,” Zhang Shun said immediately.
Zhou Hui looked at Li Hu with the lazy and dangerous eyes of a feline predator before hunting, then looked at Zhang Shun. Helplessly, the little sister-in-law was only concerned with adjusting the angle of her bra straps under her mini skirt, and the little brother-in-law was not buying the threat at all, even returning a look full of provocation.
“I don’t have that function,” Zhou Hui said lazily, swirling his whiskey glass. “Besides, I’m deeply devoted and loyal to your brother. There’s no reason to find a second wife just to have a daughter.”
The bar was already very lively, but their booth was not yet full. Yu Jingzhong, Yan Lanyu, and Chu He were still on their way. Li Hu was said to have just returned to Beijing from out of town today. He had changed into a low-cut, tight mini skirt and was striking poses, taking selfies from all angles with his phone. He had already attracted more than a dozen people to come up and try to chat him up.
Zhang Shun looked around. Zhou Hui was sitting opposite Li Hu, drinking sullenly. Not far away, Shenwan Tiansi was eating potato chips, drinking coke, and watching Naruto—his concentration was probably higher than when he was chanting sutras. He probably wouldn’t even hear a thunderclap next to his ear.
Zhang Shun finally couldn’t take it anymore. He coughed.
“I… I have a question about the second wife.”
“Hold it. You’re not old enough to have a second wife,” Zhou Hui said.
“Yangjin Pingcuo, when he was disguised as Deputy Chief Yu, told me that the nine-tailed fox is your second wife, and that’s why my brother left in a huff. Is that true?”
Zhou Hui spat a mouthful of wine all over the table.
Li Hu was instantly excited—no, his level of happiness was not just excitement, but euphoria. He immediately stood up, pushed Shenwan Tiansi aside, and hooked his arm affectionately around Zhang Shun’s neck.
“President Zhang!” she said sweetly. “I was always Boss Zhou’s second wife. Your brother caught us in bed and officially stamped it. Didn’t you know?”
Shenwan Tiansi put down his manga book, wiped the potato chip crumbs from the corner of his mouth, and put his hands together in a prayer gesture towards Zhou Hui. “Amitabha.”
—No wonder Team Five collectively rebelled. This child’s addiction to the world of otaku was already hopeless. As a reincarnation of a Living Buddha from Houzang, he opened his mouth and said “Namo Amitabha” instead of “Om Mani Padme Hum.” This was simply a matter of work attitude.
Zhou Hui suppressed the urge to beat this kid up on the spot and turned to Li Hu. “When did I make you my second wife? Make it clear to me!”
“Was I wrong?” Li Hu retorted. “Before Feng Si went to join the Demon Lord, were you not drunk that night? Did you not wake up in bed with me the next day? When you woke up, Feng Si just happened to open the door. Were you not naked?”
Zhang Shun’s entire face was a =口= expression. He heard Zhou Hui say angrily, “That never happened! I was blackout drunk! And I was with Old Four the night before. The next day I opened my eyes and saw you. Who the hell knows what happened? Someone with a weak heart would have passed away on the spot, okay!”
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what happened. Do you want me to repeat it for you? Tiansi, get me my phone. I’ll search for some pornographic plots to stimulate my inspiration first…”
“How decadent,” Shenwan Tiansi said, stuffing potato chips into his mouth while handing her his phone. “Your circle is really too decadent.”
“You and Feng Si ganged up on me and even tricked me into taking the fall?” Zhou Hui slapped the table excitedly, making the table shake as if it were about to fall apart. “It was obviously Feng Si who wanted to find an excuse to divorce. He couldn’t find a black spot, so he just made one up for me, and you actually cooperated!—If you have the guts, tell me what’s going on between you and Feng Si. How did he end up wandering around in the Animal Path back then, and how did he just happen to pick you up? He even brought a dirty little fox back to raise. No matter how I tried to persuade him to kill it and eat it, he wouldn’t listen. What’s even more outrageous is that he even hugged it to sleep every night…”
Li Hu proudly puffed out his chest and looked around with a smug expression.
“You slept until your nine tails came out. Then one day, you transformed into a human and, while I was away, used the nude photos you secretly took of him to threaten Feng Si into having a one-night stand with you… I knew you were up to no good. I should have made a fox-fur scarf a long time ago. Why did I waste so many years of food on you?!”
Li Hu blinked and said, “I don’t eat much.”
“Wait, you really threatened to sleep with my brother?” Zhang Shun was not feeling well at all listening on the side. He asked with a trembling voice, “I thought you were just joking last time. You, you, you—”
Li Hu said smugly, “Wrong. I slept with your brother many times when I was still a little fox. It’s just that after I transformed, your brother wasn’t willing to have a substantial relationship with me.” At this point, she suddenly became a little regretful. “And your brother even beat me. He beat me so hard that my sixth tail got a small tear, and to this day, I can only cover it with fur…”
Zhang Shun was not feeling well at all. He stared blankly at the swaying human weapons in front of Li Hu’s chest, his expression like someone who had seen Sadako crawl out of the TV alive.
“What’s with that expression? I’m a collector of sorts. A man of the Phoenix Wisdom King’s level, of course, I have to sleep with him first as a sign of respect. Besides, I had just cultivated my ninth tail back then. Sleeping with your brother had many benefits. A three-thousand-year increase in cultivation is no joke. Ai, Boss Zhou is actually not bad either, but unfortunately, our attributes are incompatible, otherwise, I would have even him…”
Zhou Hui eagerly shouted, “Did you all hear that? He admitted himself that I’m innocent!”
But Zhang Shun heard something wrong. “Wait, what do you mean by incompatible attributes?”
“Boss Zhou doesn’t like girls,” Li Hu sighed with infinite charm and made a gesture with his fingers. “But when I’m in my male form, I’m always on top.”
Zhang Shun: “…”
Shenwan Tiansi: “…”
Shenwan Tiansi crunched on his potato chips and sighed, “Your circle is really too promiscuous.”
Zhou Hui sneered, “Don’t underestimate this fox, especially you, pendant Shun. Be careful he doesn’t secretly covet your chrysanthemum.”
Zhang Shun immediately sat a little further away with a panicked expression. He heard Zhou Hui snort coldly and say solemnly, “As for me—besides my future little daughter, I don’t like any girls. Unfortunately, your brother’s mind is still half on another man right now. When I kill that idiot Fan Luo who dared to put a green hat on me and then tame your brother, I must go and ask someone for the secret recipe for having a girl… If I have another debt-collecting son, I might as well just jump into the Sea of Blood.”
Li Hu was very unhappy and said coldly, “Does the state allow you to have a third child?”
“I can immigrate to the Thirty-Three Heavens to have one first.”
“Pah, will your ex-wife be willing to have a third child with you?”
Zhou Hui said politely, “She won’t be my ex-wife soon. Thank you for reminding me of this fact.” He then took out a velvet box from his pants pocket and opened it to reveal two brilliant black round diamond rings. The light from them was enough to blind everyone’s titanium alloy dog eyes.
“…Do they use diamond rings for marriage proposals in the heavens too?” Young Master Zhang asked with a trembling voice.
“It’s a new trend in the past two years. Gotta keep up with the times,” Zhou Hui said nonchalantly. “Besides, I designed these myself. The inside of the diamond has micro-carved reverse inlays. If you shine a light on it at a specific angle, it can project a light and shadow image of the Phoenix Dharma form in the air. It’s truly unique and one of a kind—humpf, humpf, they all say Feng Si is a technical master of romance. This time, I’ll let you all see my long-hidden true strength!”
“…” Li Hu covered his mouth and whispered to Shenwan Tiansi, “I have a feeling that Boss Tuhao is going to be slapped in the face again this time.”
“Shh—” Shenwan Tiansi said, “It’s okay, he’s used to it. Let him feel good about himself for a while…”
Zhou Hui played with the ring smugly for a while, carefully put the ring box back in his pocket, and was about to give a passionate speech on how to deal with rivals in love, reclaim lost territory, and crush and conquer his wife from all aspects such as economic strength and physical strength… when suddenly there was a commotion at the bar not far away.
“What’s wrong?” Zhou Hui stretched his neck to look.
Li Hu was eyeing Zhang Shun covetously. Young Master Zhang was nervously covering his chrysanthemum and leaning towards Shenwan Tiansi. Shenwan Tiansi was engrossed in watching Naruto. Only Zhou Hui seemed to have noticed something and suddenly stood up and walked towards the bar.
The crowd was huddled together, and the excitement was spreading in all directions like an electric current. Even the loud music couldn’t cover the whispers. “Hey, hey, who’s that?”
“What’s wrong, what’s wrong?”
“Does anyone know that person?”
…
Zhou Hui’s breathing stopped.
At the bar stood a person, wearing a slim-fit black shirt, the collar casually unbuttoned, the cuffs rolled up to his elbows, and his long legs wrapped in jeans were unreasonably long. He took a few large bills from his wallet and handed them to the bartender, his gesture very gentlemanly. “Excuse me, may I borrow the bar to mix a drink? It will only take ten minutes.”
The bartender’s hand went limp in a daze, and the wine bottle fell onto the bar with a clang.
—It was Chu He.
But it wasn’t the mortal body he used to hide his identity in H-City, but his Heavenly Dao Dharma form—he had actually come out in his true form, just casually changed his clothes, and strolled out like this.
