HW Ch87: Confrontation

Yun Ci accepted the keys and went inside to put his things away.

He didn’t have many clothes, but before opening the wardrobe, he was still worried if they would fit. Maybe there wouldn’t be enough space.

However, when he opened the wardrobe, he was stunned.

“Your wardrobe,” Yun Ci pointed to the specially cleared half, “was it prepared last night?”

Yu Xun, making the bed, didn’t even lift his head, “How could I prepare it last night?”

“…”

Yu Xun added, “Both my hands were holding you.”

Yun Ci remembered too.

Last night, he and Yu Xun hadn’t closed their eyes all night and went to school together in the morning.

…

It was impossible to predict he would suddenly come to his house.

So there was only one possibility left, an unlikely one.

Yun Ci lowered his eyes, his gaze falling on the empty, specially cleared space. His next words were a bit difficult: “…You always kept it empty?”

“This spot.”

“From the day you moved in,” Yun Ci said, “did you keep it empty?”

Yu Xun responded with a simple “mm.”

Even though he didn’t like to show it, the “mm” was intentionally casual.

Yun Ci asked knowingly, “Why?”

After finishing making the bed, Yu Xun straightened up and said, “Do you still need to ask?”

Then he walked over to Yun Ci, took the clothes from his hands, and hung them up while saying, “Because we agreed before.”

Yu Xun rarely recalled the days they were apart, but even without remembering, it was deeply ingrained. On the first day he moved in, he ignored Liu Zi, who was eager to visit, and sat silently in the living room for a long time by himself.

He had emptied half of the desk, wardrobe, and bathroom shelves.

Even though he knew it was meaningless, he couldn’t help it.

Yun Ci had many things to say but couldn’t utter a single word. Finally, he lightly hugged the person in front of him.

“Boyfriend,” he said, “let’s hug for a bit.”

Yun Ci and Yu Xun always prided themselves on being efficient and effective, but surprisingly, for the first time, they were incredibly slow in organizing things, taking forever to hang up a few pieces of clothing.

Yun Ci had some other miscellaneous items to put away, but suddenly remembered he forgot something: “I didn’t bring my toothbrush.”

Yu Xun said, “Wait here.”

“I’ll go buy one.”

There was a convenience store not far downstairs.

The store clerk, yawning, saw a regular customer walk in—the very handsome guy who lived nearby.

This handsome guy always came in late at night, seemingly very busy, sometimes buying a bento at midnight.

Every time he came, he carried a thick stack of documents.

They were labeled with some law firm, complaint, and case filing.

…

But today seemed a bit different.

The clerk couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was different, but after staring at him for a long time, she noticed his overly beautiful eyes were much brighter than before.

The clerk scanned the items and said, “One toothbrush, nine yuan.”

“Anything else you need?”

Before paying, Yu Xun paused, then with that face that had been through countless encounters, seemingly nonchalant but with inexplicably flushed ears, he picked something else from the nearby shelf.

“And this,” he said, “add it to the bill.”

Yu Xun casually stuffed the box into his pants pocket, holding the toothbrush but not returning to the apartment immediately.

He had called Yun Ci to move in together.

This also meant he broke his promise to Yan Yue.

He had promised Yan Yue that from then on, he would completely withdraw from Yun Ci’s life and let him get back on track.

Yan Yue was his mentor, his boyfriend’s father.

He couldn’t just act like nothing had happened and didn’t want Yun Ci to face it alone.

He planned to face Yan Yue before Yun Ci did.

However, standing downstairs at the apartment building, when he pressed the dial button, the phone responded with, “The number you are calling is currently on another call.”

He was stunned for a moment.

Suddenly, he remembered that while packing things in the dorm earlier, the toothpaste, toothbrush, and other toiletries were all placed together. Why did Yun Ci forget his toothbrush?

He called Yun Ci again, and the phone gave the same response: “The number you are calling is currently on another call. Please try again later.”

–

Ten minutes earlier.

Right after Yu Xun left, Yun Ci went to the balcony.

Yan Yue hadn’t contacted him all day.

Ever since that day more than a year ago, Yan Yue, worried about any issues Yun Ci might have, kept in touch with him daily, though their conversations were brief, mostly about whether he had eaten and how his day at school was.

…

Yun Ci thought Yan Yue might have noticed Yu Xun’s sudden change of profile picture.

As if confirming his suspicion, Yan Yue was silent for a long time after answering the phone.

He remained silent on the phone for a long time.

Until Yun Ci broke the silence by calling him, “Dad.”

The second sentence: “I moved out.”

Then the next sentence: “I’m living with Yu Xun.”

“…”

Yan Yue still didn’t speak. The other side was so quiet that it made one doubt whether the call had connected at all.

But the continuously increasing call duration proved the call’s existence.

So Yun Ci lightly tugged at the corner of his mouth and continued speaking as if to himself, “You might want to bring up my mom.”

Yun Xiao’s name carried too much weight in Yun Ci’s life.

She was his mother.

The person he loved most in this world.

And also his heaviest burden.

Because Yun Xiao was gone, no one knew her standards.

He was like a test-taker, endlessly submitting one paper after another in the examination hall, never knowing the true score.

At the same time, he felt Yan Yue’s growing desire for control, imposing many invisible standards on him, demanding him to be absolutely “excellent” and “correct.”

Yun Ci, in a self-torturing way, willingly endured it.

Until high school, this state was broken.

He met someone, an “enemy.”

Yu Xun appeared.

The three years of high school passed like an unexpected gust of wind through a corridor, lifting him up.

After a while, Yun Ci, with his hands hanging down, said, “I’ll never know what she would have thought.”

“I’ve submitted so many answer sheets, and even if I got full marks, I’d never know if she’d be satisfied.”

Yun Ci rarely talked about Yun Xiao like this. If it weren’t for breaking through some things in the past year and a half, he might never have spoken out.

He said softly, “I always feel like nothing I do is enough. Living under the weight of someone else’s life, it seems like my life isn’t my own.”

“But this time, I know what I want,” he said. “I want to be with him.”

“You said before that life is long, and one day I would know what’s important.”

“Life is indeed long.”

“But no matter how long it is, I’m certain he is the most important.”

“……”

Yan Yue had caught many early romances in West High. The more the school forbade dating, the more curious the students became. He knew all the tricks of those students who secretly dated behind his back. After noticing Yu Xun changed his profile picture before getting off work, he had a hint.

He had been restless until now.

At the moment when Yun Ci completely broke free from his control, he became unprecedentedly quiet.

This was the first time Yun Ci talked about Yun Xiao like this.

……

Only now did he realize that Yun Ci had been thinking this way all these years.

Yan Yue opened his mouth, instinctively wanting to defend his wife by saying, “Your mom never meant that. We never wanted to be your pressure; she just hoped you could live well.” But as this thought flashed through his mind, it struck him.

Live well.

This term seemed irrelevant to Yun Ci in the past year and a half.

Yan Yue, who had been in education for many years, felt helpless for the first time.

It was his first time being a father, with no one around to consult.

He still couldn’t approve of the relationship between these two, but all the words of opposition had gradually worn down over the past year and a half.

The past year and a half, over several hundred days, shattered many of his assumptions.

He assumed that at eighteen or nineteen, nothing could be taken seriously.

He assumed they would forget each other quickly if they just separated.

Like every student couple in West High who claimed they couldn’t live without each other but found it hard to stay together after graduation without intentional separation.

……

Except he hadn’t expected that the past year and a half had become a strong, powerful testament.

Yan Yue finally sighed and said, “You’ve grown up. Even if I want to control you, I can’t anymore.”

Yun Ci didn’t expect Yan Yue to change his attitude. He was just telling him his thoughts and didn’t want Yu Xun to face everything alone anymore.

There was a “beep” from the receiver.

The call was interrupted.

“……”

Yun Ci leaned against the wall.

Even though the balcony window was closed, a gust of wind seemed to come from nowhere.

He sensed that the net named “Yun Xiao” had been completely broken today.

The sky outside was already dark. He looked up, trying to find stars.

Tonight, there were indeed scattered stars in the night sky, and the brightest one was right above his head.

Yu Xun opened the balcony door and saw Yun Ci, half-hidden in the darkness, looking at the stars.

Hearing the sound, Yun Ci voluntarily explained, “I just finished a call with old Yan.”

Yu Xun: “I know, I called him earlier and it was busy.”

“……”

“I figured you would call,” Yun Ci said unsurprisingly.

Yu Xun: “So you acted first?”

Yun Ci looked at him and said, “You’re my boyfriend. Some things don’t have to be faced alone.”

“And I wanted to talk about the issues between me and him,” Yun Ci added, explaining, “It’s not just about who I’m with.”

Yu Xun: “What?”

Yun Ci’s voice lowered: “My mom.”

This was the first time Yun Ci mentioned his mom.

Yu Xun had vaguely seen something about her the day before New Year’s Eve and had heard about her from Yan Yue.

Yun Ci didn’t say much. After so many years, there were many things he couldn’t even begin to say.

He took one last look at the stars, then withdrew his gaze and said only one sentence: “It might sound strange, but the year I met you in first year, that year, my world was stirred.”

A long time later.

Yu Xun, through the long passage of time, seemed to pierce through the darkness and see his past self.

He said, “Me too.”

After entering the house, Yun Ci unpacked the toothbrush. Before entering the bathroom, Yu Xun couldn’t help but wrap his arms around him from behind, asking if Yan Yue had said anything, was angry, or scolded him.

“He didn’t agree,” Yun Ci said, then added, “But he didn’t object either.”

Which meant.

Yan Yue had let go.

Yu Xun didn’t fully relax, but it was already the best outcome. He was about to let go of Yun Ci when Yun Ci’s hand fell on him.

After being embraced, their distance closed, and Yun Ci felt something slightly hard against him.

It was in Yu Xun’s pants pocket.

Box-shaped. A bit hard.

“?”

Yun Ci’s hand reached in a bit: “I thought you quit smoking.”

Yun Ci was about to continue questioning, even planning to get angry.

But when he pulled out the box from Yu Xun’s pocket and saw the words on it: “……”

Yu Xun lowered his head, his voice in Yun Ci’s ear, softly explaining: “It’s not cigarettes.”

……

He saw it.

He could read.

Yun Ci’s hand, as if scalded, turned red as he hastily shoved the box back.

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