In the end, Yun Ci crumpled the papers, folded them, and threw them back to Yu Xun.
Yu Xun casually caught them and continued writing.
He even discussed with Peng Yiyuan how to make the love letter more touching while writing.
Yu Xun: “Using too many rhetorics makes it seem insincere. I’d suggest cutting some out.”
Peng Yiyuan pondered: “That makes sense. An unembellished letter is more heartfelt. You’ve got a point. Is this draft your final version?”
Yu Xun: “It’s alright.”
He tilted his head modestly and said, “I think I still have a lot of room for improvement.”
“…”
Peng Yiyuan: “How many more drafts are you going to write?”
Yu Xun: “Until I’m satisfied.”
Peng Yiyuan, still biting his pen, sighed, “Whoever receives your love letter in the future is really lucky. She’ll definitely be very moved.”
The intended recipient now only wanted to kill someone.
Yun Ci, however, couldn’t reveal the truth and didn’t dare to leave, afraid that if he did, Yu Xun would cause more trouble. He could only sit opposite them, open a book, and sit next to Liu Sheng.
Liu Sheng: “Didn’t you finish your homework?”
Yun Ci, who had indeed finished all his homework in Li Yan’s dorm: “I have a bit left.”
Liu Sheng, recalling Yun Ci’s earlier “competing” remark, asked, “Aren’t you going to write with them?”
“He wrote six drafts and still hasn’t finished,” Yun Ci said coldly, “There’s no need to worry for now.”
This was a heavily sarcastic remark, perfectly fitting for the relationship between him and Yu Xun.
What Liu Sheng noticed was another detail: “Your ears are really red. Did you wear too little? It’s pretty cold outside today, did you get cold?”
“…”
“Yeah.”
Yun Ci sat there, responding coldly.
Liu Sheng continued looking at the sheet music: “Alright, wear more when you go out tomorrow; take care of yourself.”
Yun Ci’s “supervision” of Yu Xun continued until the lights went out.
He truly didn’t know what kind of mood he was in, sitting there, every second feeling like a year, watching Yu Xun write a love letter to him.
In high school, he had received love letters before, but generally, this kind of thing was done in secret. Even if someone was bold, they would just call him to the hallway and hand it to him.
Receiving love letters emphasized the act of receiving.
But with Yu Xun, because of their roommate relationship, he had to watch him write it right in front of him.
…
Yun Ci looked down and opened Gao Pingyang’s WeChat contact.
yc: [Instructor.]
Even after work hours, Gao Pingyang replied quickly: [What’s wrong?]
yc: [If not dropping out, what about taking a leave of absence?]
yc: [I’ll just take a year off.]
Gao Pingyang: […]
Gao Pingyang didn’t expect this student with the surname Yun to still be considering quitting school: [On what grounds?]
yc: [Poor health, need to recuperate, or mental stress, any reason will do.]
Gao Pingyang: [How about this, we’ll say you have long-term sleep disorders and it’s becoming unbearable, so you urgently need to go home and recuperate, how about that?]
yc: [Okay.]
Gao Pingyang’s words were filled with anger: [You think I’m serious! Can’t you tell I’m joking! Stop messaging me; seeing your messages gives me a headache.]
yc: […]
Continuing the conversation would get him blocked by Gao Pingyang.
Yun Ci put away his phone. He sat there for a while, the sound of Yu Xun writing and scribbling opposite him making him incredibly irritated. The dormitory was actually very noisy; Luo Sifang alone was enough to cause a racket, but for some reason, the sound of Yu Xun’s pen scratching on paper stood out clearly.
“You,” Yun Ci suddenly stood up, “come out for a bit.”
Yu Xun looked up at him.
Yun Ci: “Bring your love letter.”
Outside the dormitory, in the corridor.
Occasionally, someone passed through the boys’ dormitory corridor. The dormitory doors originally had no curtains, but after moving in, everyone bought decorations at their own expense and hung various curtains.
The curtain for their dormitory was recently bought by Luo Sifang, a black anime background, very edgy.
After stepping out, the curtain separated the inside and outside of the dormitory into two worlds.
Yu Xun stood in front of him, leaning against the wall. His tone was casual, yet there was a hint of tension: “You want to see it now?”
“Not finished yet,” Yu Xun said, “but this draft is much better than the previous ones. I could show it to you first.”
“I didn’t call you out for that.”
Yun Ci forced out a few more words: “Stop writing.”
This clear rejection turned into something else in Yu Xun’s ears. He “oh”-ed: “You think writing it in front of you takes away the mystery of the love letter?”
“…”
Yu Xun continued: “Alright, I’ll write it secretly then.”
Sometimes, Yun Ci really wanted to knock some sense into this person.
Yun Ci finally said: “When I say stop writing, I mean I won’t read it.”
“Writing it is pointless.”
Night. After lights out.
Luo Sifang was an internet-addicted youth with a sense of gaming spirit. He would precisely calculate the end time of a game, aligning it with lights out, always finishing the last round right on time: “Final team fight, perfect!”
Liu Sheng initially was still playing guitar, strumming a few strings and playing a few segments, saying he needed to submit some after-class assignments.
Then the dormitory noise significantly decreased.
Yun Ci lay on the top bunk, unable to sleep for a long time, wondering if he had spoken too harshly.
He wanted to refuse the love letter, but he didn’t intend to hurt anyone.
But the topic couldn’t be brought up again.
The conversation between him and Yu Xun earlier had ended awkwardly, and Yu Xun hadn’t spoken since.
In the dormitory, everyone dressed more casually. Yu Xun wore light gray sweatpants, the waistband a bit low, loosely hanging on his hips. Even so, his long legs still managed to look proportionate.
He slightly lowered his head, chin tucked in, making his nose bridge appear higher from this angle, his long eyelashes hanging down.
Finally, he said: “Got it.”
Yun Ci, thinking about it, acted faster than he thought. Before he realized it, he had already opened the chat with Yu Xun.
He stared at the black avatar for a moment, hesitated, then exited.
…
Why was he opening someone’s chat for no reason?
He hoped Yu Xun was hurt enough to give up pursuing him.
Just then, Li Yan’s message came through: [How did it go today?]
Yun Ci: [Didn’t fight.]
Li Yan replied quickly: [Didn’t fight, meaning, aside from physical altercations, you went through all the verbal provocations, arguments, and interventions from roommates, right?]
[…]
Yun Ci was too lazy to respond. After a few more messages, he started scrolling through his Moments before bed.
The first post was from his father, Yan Yue: [Congratulations! Our school’s student achieved excellent results in the competition.]
The second post was also from his father, Yan Yue: [“Share,” A life ruined by video games.]
“……”
This one felt very targeted.
As he scrolled down, he was caught off guard by a sudden “I’ve liked you for a long time” flashing into his sight.
With no other light source in the dormitory after lights out, the phone’s glow was the only light.
The screen was lit up, and the black text appeared through the glow.
The profile picture displayed next to this post was a solid black.
“The last time was too rushed, and in hindsight, I realized I hadn’t formally confessed to you. I’ve liked you for a long time, Xiao Ci. I’ve always been afraid you’d find out, but at that moment, I suddenly realized that maybe I’ve always wanted you to know.
I’ve never regretted anything I’ve said, but there’s one thing I would take back if I could.
I’m very interested in you.”
Time briefly rewound to their first encounter in their first year of high school.
Their first short but intense meeting.
Yun Ci curled up completely under his blanket, covering himself so tightly that no air could get in. This unexpected confession threw him off guard, and the air under the blanket seemed to become thin.
Soon after, he started to feel stiflingly hot.
He couldn’t explain his reactions; it all turned into a vague sense of frustration.
Damn.
He said he wouldn’t read it.
So this guy just posted it on Moments???
After a while, he pulled down the blanket, then supported himself with one hand on the bed and turned over to get down, not even bothering with the ladder beside him.
Luo Sifang and the others were already asleep, snoring loudly, and no one noticed their movements.
Yun Ci got down, feeling so irritated that he wanted to yank Yu Xun up.
But it was too dark around, and he didn’t grab Yu Xun’s collar accurately. Instead, he almost tripped over something on the floor, maybe a basin or a hot water kettle, nearly falling onto Yu Xun’s bed.
He had to grab something to steady himself, and when he realized it, he was holding Yu Xun’s hand, which had been urgently stretched out.
Palm to palm, the knuckles were hard and the warmth intense.
Yu Xun exerted some strength, pulling him and, in turn, pulling him toward himself. As their eyes met in the dark, he let go and said, “Why are you throwing yourself at me?”
Yun Ci: “Who threw themselves at you?”
Yu Xun: “You did.”
Saying this, he maintained a lying position, looking ready to be manipulated, saying, “In this position, what else could it be if not throwing yourself at me?”
After Yu Xun let go, Yun Ci’s palm pressed against the edge of the bed.
The bedsheet was cotton. Yu Xun’s bed set was very plain, light gray.
“This is called causing trouble,” Yun Ci corrected.
The distance between them was still too close. He half-straightened, pulling back a bit, then said again, “You posted it on Moments?”
Yu Xun admitted without a second of hesitation: “This way, even if you don’t accept it, you’ll see it.”
“……”
He continued, “I was worried you wouldn’t check Moments tonight and might have to wait until tomorrow.”
Yun Ci felt like something was pricking him all over. He asked, enunciating each word, “You posted it on Moments.”
He sneered, “Why don’t you just bring your dozen or so brothers and force me to look at it on the desk?”
Hearing this, Yu Xun seriously considered it, thinking about its feasibility, and finally acknowledged, “If you don’t mind, it’s not impossible—”
After adjusting to the dorm’s darkness, Yun Ci’s vision gradually improved, and the view became clearer.
He vaguely saw Yu Xun wearing a very thin T-shirt, which had gotten a bit disheveled during the earlier pushing and shoving.
“Delete it,” Yun Ci said, looking away, “while not many people have seen it.”
He could almost imagine the commotion Yu Xun’s post would cause in his friend circle.
“If anyone asks, just say you lost a bet.”
“Understand?”
“………”
After Yun Ci’s warning, Yu Xun didn’t respond.
His irritation grew, and just as he was about to continue saying something, Yu Xun spoke: “Only you can see it. Just you.”
“Like before,” he said, “when I got hurt, those Moments posts were also only visible to you.”
The words Yun Ci wanted to say got stuck in his throat.
That previous “visible to only you” had only been his guess. Though he was pretty sure, he hadn’t expected to have it confirmed directly by Yu Xun.
The pitch-black environment made Yu Xun’s voice clearer, even though he was speaking very softly.
And faintly amplified was the sound of his heartbeat coming from his chest.
“It’s my first time chasing someone, so I’m not very experienced.”
“I’ve never written a love letter before, though I’ve received quite a few.”
“If you’re not satisfied, I can rewrite it tomorrow.”
Using the night to hide his emotions, Yu Xun, a bit nervous after sending the confession, still said, “……After all, being such an introverted person, I’ve only ever had a secret crush before.”
