Night fell, and the lights came on one by one. A fog of desire swirled in the bewitching darkness, and at the center of this fog was an entire street of bars in Ning City. At the end of this bar street was a place called “Raccoon.” The bar had recently hired a nonchalant drummer with a big reputation. Whether he came to the bar or played the drums was completely irregular, all depending on his mood.
But this was a society of “individuality” and “exceptionalism,” so he had instead become the star everyone chased after at the bar.
His name was Ji Xun.
An exhilarating drum performance drew a roar of cheers from the entire crowd. The bar’s patrons pushed and shoved, trying to rush forward, but the bar’s security guards were experienced. They linked hands to form a human wall, blocking the front of the stage.
The chaos below did not affect Ji Xun on stage in the slightest, even though the chaos was born from him.
Ji Xun leaned back, sweat sliding from his forehead like fine rain. He was immersed in a dizzying state, his soul seeming to have detached from his body and wandered off. But this feeling—to be honest—was not bad.
The soul, having detached from the heavy body, seemed to have also detached from worldly troubles, finding a strange and unrestrained freedom in its floating state.
Unfortunately, this freedom lasted only for a fleeting moment.
Soon, his body began to recover from the excessive exertion, and the heat of sweat, soreness, and fatigue shot in from all directions like arrows, piercing his body and pinning down his soul.
Ji Xun slowly exhaled. He opened his palm, letting the drumsticks fall, raised a hand to pull off his headphones, and then tugged at his sweat-soaked graphic T-shirt, freeing his neck from the collective suffocation of clothes and hair.
Then he squinted, resting the back of his neck on the chair’s back, and just hung there, swaying.
He wasn’t old, but he wasn’t young either, around twenty-eight or twenty-nine, an awkward age. His figure was very tall and slender; when he stretched his legs, it felt as if the Pacific Ocean separated you from him. His features were distinct and well-defined. His eyes were half-open, extremely lazy. His hair was long, reaching his neck, piled in a messy heap, but because he was good-looking, this neither-here-nor-there hairstyle also carried the unique indulgent flavor of a musician.
He swayed like this a couple of times. The shouts from below grew louder, and the security guards gradually lost control of the crowd. The bar owner’s glare was about to burst into flames. He finally got up and, with a swagger, walked towards the backstage. Just before entering the backstage door, he suddenly turned, raised his hand, and blew a kiss.
“Thank you, everyone. Love you all.”
“Whoa—”
The soundproof door opened and closed, blocking out the newly erupted fervor. Ji Xun took a shower in the dressing room, changed his clothes, and re-entered the bar through the back door wearing a trench coat.
In just fifteen minutes, the clamor had disappeared. This was an era where new information grabbed people’s attention every moment. Ji Xun was insignificant to the people, and the people were insignificant to Ji Xun.
“Big star, you’re back?” a short man in a waiter’s uniform came up to him. His name was Jenny, the bartender here. Because he was young and cheerful, like a neighborhood younger brother, he was quite popular with the female patrons and inevitably did some “favors” for the “sisters.” “Today, an exceptionally stunning beauty came!”
A beautiful woman was exciting enough. A beautiful woman interested in Ji Xun who sought his help as a go-between was even more exciting.
Jenny presented the tray in his hand to Ji Xun. It was a lacquered tray, scattered with many slips of paper. The papers were folded in half, but not so tightly that they didn’t half-reveal the phone numbers and lipstick marks inside. The amorous invitations were clear and striking.
This was also a signature event for Ji Xun here: he never spent the night with anyone from the bar, so people, in their rebellious nature, wanted to spend the night with him even more. It seemed that what one couldn’t have was always more valuable.
Ji Xun’s fingers played over the tray. He saw his own face, appearing vaguely in the tray’s reflection. The dark circles under his eyes looked like built-in smoky makeup. Truly terrifying.
He also saw Jenny’s face. Jenny was winking so hard he looked like he was about to have a cramp, looking as if he wished he could tie the two of them together with a red string, pack them off to bed, and set off fireworks in front of the bed with a big heart to celebrate with the world.
Truly a case of the emperor not being worried, but the eunuchs dying of anxiety.
Ji Xun’s mind wandered. He finally followed Jenny’s gaze and deigned to look at the person.
It was a woman in a purple sequined dress with long, curly hair.
She was indeed beautiful, and fashionable, like a cover girl from a men’s magazine. Every frown, every smile, every movement, even a strand of her fluffy hair, was filled with seduction.
A man might not necessarily know his own preferences, but she definitely knew the minds of men.
But Ji Xun still withdrew his gaze, his interest waning. He didn’t speak, but his action was no less than saying “Is that all?”
Jenny was greatly perplexed. “You’re not even interested in a beauty of this level? Are you looking for Chang’e from the moon palace?”
“What do you think a relationship between two sexes is?” Ji Xun asked.
“…Uh, complementary, yin and yang, indispensable?” This was Jenny’s simple logic. Men naturally liked beautiful women, and women of course chased handsome men. If anyone didn’t plan to do so, there must be something wrong with them.
“Perhaps,” Ji Xun said nonchalantly. “And also, conquest.”
“Conquest?”
“A woman conquers a man, or a man conquers a woman,” Ji Xun said. “Sometimes you think you’ve conquered a woman, but in reality, ‘Ha—the prey has finally taken the bait,’ the woman smiles like that.”
Jenny stared at him. The young bartender was unimpressed by such a theory. He only understood one thing: “So you’re not interested in her? I think you’ll regret it.” He grumbled, feeling down for a moment, then cheered up again. “There’s another one!”
“Oh?”
“There’s another one, also super—”
“Let me guess,” Ji Xun didn’t let Jenny keep him in suspense. “Is it a man?”
Jenny stared at him so hard his eyeballs were about to fall out. “How did you know?!”
“The notes on your tray have the smell of cologne.”
“Women can wear cologne too!”
“And the smell of Zhonghua cigarettes. Women don’t smoke such strong cigarettes, do they?”
Jenny wavered. He lifted the arm holding the tray, his nostrils flaring as he tried to carefully identify the smells on the tray. As time passed, his expression became convinced. Before he could speak, Ji Xun smiled leisurely.
“You really believe it? I was just kidding.”
“…” said Jenny.
“Do you think you have Sherlock Holmes’s nose, able to smell what a scent is attached to in the disaster-level air of a bar? It’s a very simple deduction. You’ve already recommended the most beautiful woman of the day to me. So the only thing left that could excite you wouldn’t be a woman. If not a woman, what else could it be?”
Jenny ran off to a corner to be by himself.
Ji Xun tapped him on the shoulder from behind. Jenny moved away, ignoring him. Ji Xun simply patted him. “Give me a Tequila Sunrise… no, make it two.”
He walked forward. Something in the bar had caught his attention.
A glass of Ocean Star sat on the bar. Its azure, translucent color was like a thief had stolen the purest heart of the sea and placed it here to flatter a beauty.
The beauty’s long, slender hand touched the stem of the glass, and that shallow pool of blue immediately bowed in submission, eagerly kissing his fingertips. And so, the master bestowed a kiss. He lowered his head, his crimson cheeks showing a drunken state. A small tear mole under his left eye blurred his gender and age.
He looked truly young. The lacquered leather jacket had a natural wildness and aloofness, but he had a face as white as snow and features as exquisite as a painting. Even the crimson charm on it was so delicate and innocent.
But the person sitting next to him was a stark contrast.
It was a scrawny man, not old, but with a sharp-jawed, monkey-like face, prematurely aged, listless, and with a plain appearance. There was nothing noteworthy about him from head to toe. If appearances were to be graded, the young man was undoubtedly of noble rank, while this scrawny monkey was, at best, a follower behind the noble.
Such a mismatched pair sitting together had long attracted the covert attention of those around them. The drink in the young man’s hand had been given to him by the scrawny man, who watched the drink in the young man’s hand and kept urging him to drink.
Seeing that the young man was finally about to drink the wine, the scrawny man’s eager gaze reached its end, blooming with a trace of surprise.
But before that azure wine could truly enter the young man’s mouth, Ji Xun stopped him.
He used a clever trick. The Ocean Star in the tear-mole youth’s hand became a Tequila Sunrise. The cold blue was replaced by a vibrant orange-red, and the last trace of coldness on the young man’s body was dispelled.
“What are you doing!” Before the youth could speak, the scrawny man jumped up in a hurry. “I bought him a drink first!”
“So I should get in line behind you? Do you think this is clocking in for work, where it has to be first come, first served?” Ji Xun teased with a smile, swirling the Ocean Star and looking at the tear-mole youth. “I think orange suits you better than blue.”
The youth propped up his head, his smile wavering from being slightly drunk. “Is that so? I guess so…”
“What blue or orange? Who is this guy?!” The scrawny man became anxious. “I’ve been talking to you all night!”
“But,” the youth said, troubled, “you were the one who insisted on talking to me, insisted on drinking with me?”
He acted so matter-of-factly, his light sneer casual, like a rose recklessly growing thorns.
The rose knew it was beautiful, and was therefore proud and arrogant, watching as people flocked to it.
His words also immediately drew a crowd. They snickered at the one-sidedly enthusiastic scrawny man. The high and low sounds of contempt washed over the scrawny man’s body like water. His face turned livid. He wanted to say something more, but the youth’s gaze had already lightly swept past him and landed on Ji Xun. He was tossed aside like a piece of useless trash.
The lividness turned to a deathly pale, and the deathly pale to an angry red.
The scrawny man snatched the Ocean Star from Ji Xun’s hand, gave Ji Xun and the youth a venomous glare, pushed through the crowd, and left.
His departure did not attract anyone’s attention.
The youth continued to speak to Ji Xun. “And you? Who are you? Why should I drink your drink? If you can’t give me a reason, I won’t drink it.”
Ji Xun looked over. The youth swirled the drink in his hand, and the orange shadow circled on his face, making his eyes, which were looking over, hide behind the shifting colors of light.
Beauties always have the right to be willful.
Ji Xun picked up a napkin and wiped the blue liquid from the youth’s palm.
“Blue Elf.”
“Ah.”
“It seems you’ve heard of it. Flunitrazepam, a drug that can turn liquids blue. But I prefer to call it by its other catchy name, the date r*pe drug.”
“That sounds terrifying. But…” the youth, seemingly half-awake, smiled faintly. “Not all blue liquids are date r*pe drugs. Do you have any proof? If you’re just guessing, I won’t drink.”
“He talked to you for so long. He must have really wanted to spend a spring night with you, right?”
“To avoid committing a crime—”
“But from the moment you picked up the glass, the time he spent staring at the glass far exceeded the time he spent staring at you. And in the end, he didn’t forget to snatch that glass of wine. Based on the most basic common sense, could it be that this glass of wine was more attractive to him than a living, breathing beauty like you? Then he might as well take the glass to a hotel, instead of insisting on watching you drink this glass.”
“Impressive. Worth a drink.” The youth applauded, raised his glass to Ji Xun, and drank the entire cocktail with unusual frankness.
Tequila has a high alcohol content. As soon as he drank it, his body swayed. Ji Xun quickly steadied him. “Are you dizzy?”
“No… I should thank you, right?”
“If you’re willing.”
“Just saying thank you seems a little thin. I should treat you to something. How about I invite you home?” The youth was slightly tipsy, seemingly asking seriously, but then added in a troubled manner, “But I just arrived in this city. I don’t have a home.”
Ji Xun saw the invitation in the youth’s eyes. It was like a crimson mist, drifting over, touching his body, almost imperceptibly.
His hesitation lasted only a short time before he surrendered.
The youth had successfully captured him.
True, he had a principle of not picking people up from bars, but principles were made to be broken. He didn’t like women who always wanted to conquer him, but he had little resistance to this youth’s temptation.
“…To my place?” Ji Xun said.
The youth raised his eyes.
In the other’s pupils, Ji Xun saw his own reflection. A moment later, an ambiguous desire embraced his reflection. The youth’s laugh was tinged with alcohol, a little low.
“Okay.”
Ji Xun’s home was not far from the bar. When he brought the youth into the corridor, it was already very late. The scattered lights were a few eyes peeking into the night, brewing silently in the dark.
The elevator door slid open with a ding, illuminating the corridor lights.
Ji Xun supported the youth. At first glance, he thought this should be a slender and sensitive person. It was only when he actually took him in hand that he realized the other person was not short at all, almost the same height as himself. Nor was he thin; the heavy weight pressing on his arm showed that this person definitely had a body that looked slim in clothes but was muscular underneath.
The two arrived at the door, and Ji Xun freed a hand to feel for the key in his pocket. His key was easy to find; it had a keychain attached, a metal girl’s head, and a faded peace knot tied below it.
At this moment, the youth’s body suddenly swayed, and a sudden force pulled Ji Xun off balance. They both crashed into the wall next to the door.
The youth fell into his arms.
Ji Xun heard a muffled, light laugh, and then the alcoholic breath, like magma from the earth’s core, spread its wings and enveloped him. The moment the corridor lights dimmed, the youth bit his lip.
“You don’t even know my name, and you dare to bring me home?”
The light smacking sound of their exchanging saliva echoed in the darkness.
“Then…” Ji Xun tilted his head up slightly. “What’s your name?”
“Huo.”
The door opened. Everything that had just happened seemed to have been swallowed by the darkness, leaving only a faint aftertaste on their lips.
Ji Xun lived alone. His home was not large, a two-bedroom apartment. Besides a not-so-small bedroom and an ordinary living room, there was a study filled with books and musical instruments.
Ji Xun led the person into the bathroom and then turned to leave. He listened to two songs in his room before a muffled sound came from inside.
Ji Xun turned his head. “Are you okay?”
A slow and muffled response came from the bathroom. Ji Xun didn’t hear what the other person said. He was a little worried. He turned back to the bathroom door and knocked with his knuckles.
“Hello?”
“Come in.”
The voice inside was a little louder this time, and he could hear it clearly.
Ji Xun pushed open the ajar door and was momentarily stunned. There was no one in sight, only the hot water gushing from the faucet, creating a thick white steam that lingered in the small room.
Where is he?
Just as Ji Xun was thinking this, a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind.
The dampness from the recent soak in hot water pressed against his back, alternating between hot and cold.
The youth leaned against him, blowing a breath from behind his neck, creating a few white bubbles.
“Your shower gel has a very unique scent.”
A layer of goosebumps rose on the back of Ji Xun’s neck.
A bit exciting. This person was really good at this…
He calmly swallowed and said, “If you like it, we can use it later.”
“How?” the youth asked with interest.
“Any way you want. Don’t hold back.”
Ji Xun was pushed against the sink. They tried to kiss, with probing, with teasing, and then it became long and sweet. Ji Xun tasted the mint flavor of his own mouthwash in the other’s mouth, a spicy and stimulating sweet taste.
It was truly magical.
To feel the most familiar taste on a complete stranger.
The most familiar taste combined with the most unfamiliar feeling, creating a brand-new feeling.
A feeling that had perhaps been imagined before, but had finally appeared today.
They came out of the bathroom, embracing, passed through the living room, and arrived at the bedroom. Ji Xun’s bedroom was exceptionally simple. Besides the wardrobe, there was only the bed. The trench coat he had casually thrown on the windowsill was hooked and fell to the floor. The youth, barefoot, stepped on the trench coat’s belt. A drop of water on his body gently swayed and fell to the ground, a round and cute drop, like the youth’s toe.
He was pushed against the wardrobe. The black wardrobe made a muffled sound. The youth’s breath fanned behind his ear, like a dormant volcano.
Then Ji Xun felt his hands being restrained. The force of this restraint was not like playing around, at least not like a top and bottom playing around.
“There’s a question I forgot to ask before,” Ji Xun said.
“Hmm?” The voice answering from behind had a lazy tone.
“Are you a 1?”
“I am.”
“That’s rare,” Ji Xun said. To make it easier to speak, he tilted his head up slightly. The youth’s fingers quickly wound around his neck, lingering as if they had a special fondness for this spot. He was so tickled that he let out a low laugh. “After all, there are no tops, only bottoms everywhere. But…”
“But?”
“It’s not very convenient. I’m also a 1.”
“Want to try being a 0? It feels pretty good.”
“How do you know being a 0 feels good if you’ve never been one?” Ji Xun asked.
“Because all the 0s I’ve been with say my skills are good.”
“—What a coincidence. All the 0s I’ve been with also say my skills are good,” Ji Xun slowly replied.
“Seriously?” the youth asked.
“Seriously.”
The next moment, the force restraining Ji Xun’s hands loosened. He was no longer pressed against the cabinet; he was pushed onto the bed by the youth.
The youth’s face still carried the crimson flush from being soaked in hot water. The bathrobe was not tied tightly, and Ji Xun noticed a deep brown mark on the other’s collarbone. It was a piercing wound.
He looked at Ji Xun, tilted his head, and after thinking seriously for a while, said, “…You don’t want to be a 0. I can be the 0.”
“That’s great.”
“But this is too boring. Let’s play something more exciting.” The youth, for some reason, had a glint in his eye, and the corner of his eye lifted into a soul-stirring curve. “It’s quite fun. Let’s try it.”
Ji Xun had a bad feeling and directly refused. “Isn’t it good for us to be normal? Let’s not be too exciting.”
“Is it not exciting to bring a stranger home from a bar for the night?” The youth’s eyes were half-closed, a faint smile on his lips. “Since we’re playing, we should play differently from others.”
“No room for negotiation?”
“You can choose one of two. Either be the 0, or play something else,” the youth suggested.
“Then I think—”
Ji Xun propped himself up on the bed with his elbow, wanting to get up, but the youth’s movement was faster than his. His elbow was caught and straightened, his shoulders were pressed down, and his back once again slammed into the bed. The bed shook heavily, and then Ji Xun’s neck was pinned to the bed.
The youth reached out and grabbed his neck.
He spoke to Ji Xun, his breath ambiguous and dangerous.
“You were the one who actively brought me back from the bar, right? You brought me back, and now you can’t do this, you can’t do that. Who are you kidding?”
“I see you’re quite the player,” Ji Xun said. “How about we let go first? Have a good chat?”
The youth let out a clear sneer.
Ji Xun felt a slight difficulty in breathing.
The youth stared at him and said concisely, “Use force—if you use force, the roles will be reversed. You can control me, conquer me. I’m giving my life to you, placing it in your palm. I trust you.”
“I’m flattered, but I don’t trust myself.”
Ji Xun’s neck skin was pressed against the youth’s palm, and he gradually felt his own heartbeat and the other’s become one.
But his heartbeat was slow and shallow, while the heartbeat from the youth was domineering and strong.
He slowly spoke, “…Also, forcing a relationship against a citizen’s will can be considered r*pe.”
Ji Xun saw a momentary daze in the youth.
“My country has no r*pe laws against men,” the youth replied.
“—But there is the crime of indecent assault. Causing minor injuries or more also constitutes intentional injury. This also tramples on my dignity, so add another crime of insult. So, law-abiding citizen Mr. Huo, you wouldn’t test the law, would you?”
“Oh, right,” Ji Xun continued thoughtfully. “This is still based on a minor violation. For what you’re about to do, it’s at least intentional injury to start with, and could also be considered attempted murder. Mr. Huo might as well find himself a good lawyer before doing it. This is called pre-preparation, so you don’t panic afterwards.”
“…It can be simpler,” the youth finally said.
“How simple?” Ji Xun asked.
“You and I have a fight. If you win, I naturally won’t succeed.”
“The situation would be difficult to define then,” Ji Xun said in a tone of someone who found it troublesome. “Since Mr. Huo has considered the consequences, then come on. I’m also prepared to bear it.”
The youth’s cold gaze fell on Ji Xun’s face, like the glint of a blade across his cheek.
He curled his lips again.
If a blade could smile, it would probably look like this.
“You’re a real coward.”
He said coldly, letting go of this dead fish that wouldn’t budge no matter how he poked it. He pushed himself up from the bed and stood up.
The youth walked out of the bedroom, but the sound of the main door did not follow. He was probably too lazy to bother and was resting on the sofa.
Ji Xun lay paralyzed on the bed. A perfectly good night had been messed up. He couldn’t tell if he was energetic or exhausted right now. He placed his hands behind his head and stared at the bland ceiling. After a while, he pulled out a hand to open the bedside cabinet, revealing the bottles and jars stuffed inside.
Ji Xun was already very familiar with these bottles and jars. He didn’t even need to look to pull out the bottle of sleeping pills.
But at this moment, the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing was heard.
There was still a stranger in the house.
Ji Xun paused for a few seconds, threw the bottle back, and slammed the drawer shut.
When the youth came out of the bathroom again, the last trace of ambiguous atmosphere had been completely washed away by the cold air.
He ran a hand through his hair, shaking out the last drops of water from the ends. His face was as cold as ice and snow. As he passed the master bedroom, he glanced through the not-fully-closed door and saw the owner of the house sitting by the window.
The other person was leaning lazily against the windowsill, wearing headphones, humming a broken, gloomy, and unpleasant tune.
This person and this tune were intimately fused with the darkness, indistinguishable from each other.
Ji Xun.
He silently, mockingly, mouthed the name.
