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Chapter 51: I just want to see you.
As Huo Niansheng spoke, he stretched out his arm, opened the front armrest box, and felt around for a while. By memory, he pulled out an unopened lip balm.
It vaguely resembled the gift Assistant Amanda had left in the car ages ago. Huo Niansheng rarely drove this car, so he had casually stuffed it in and forgotten about it. It was probably expired by now, but still usable. Chen Wengang closed his eyes, turned his face away, then was pulled back and leaned against Huo Niansheng’s shoulder, a faint blush of embarrassment on his face. He was like a dying butterfly, helplessly pinned down for inspection.
Huo Niansheng whispered in his ear, “Shh, don’t worry, there’s a privacy film, so no one can see.”
In the past, Huo Niansheng always had a hint of pleasure in his actions to make him accept them, but today there was a different implication. He stared down at him, not with affectionate caresses but more like manipulation. Chen Wengang’s vision blurred, and in his dizziness, he saw the intensity in his gaze.
As noon approached, the sun had become a burning fireball, casting the cobblestone road in almost blinding reflections.
The hot air outside the car window seemed almost tangible; fortunately, the car’s air conditioning kept the interior cool.
Chen Wengang leaned against Huo Niansheng’s neck, but his forehead was still sweaty, his face pale and tired, with dark circles under his eyes.
Seeing him like this, Huo Niansheng suddenly felt a hint of regret.
But he couldn’t say it, so he lowered his head and kissed him gently, “Are you still okay?”
Chen Wengang murmured, “Uncle Lin asked me to bring back the keys to the house; I forgot to take them. Can you help me get them?”
Huo Niansheng knew it was an excuse, so he left the car keys with him and got out as instructed.
Chen Wengang slowly buttoned up the buttons to the top.
He had always been cooperative with Huo Niansheng in matters of the bed, occasionally not refusing some excessive innovations. However, being treated like this suddenly made him feel unbearable. Unable to make sense of it, he opened the door, and immediately a blast of heat hit him, making him reluctant to step outside.
But inside the car, he couldn’t stand up straight, and his shirt was creased uncomfortably in his pants. Chen Wengang got out of the car under the scorching sun, took shelter behind the car, and readjusted his belt. Looking around, there was no one in sight; the deafening chirping of cicadas filled the air.
He turned back, bent down, and retrieved a pack of cigarettes from the armrest box.
Huo Niansheng arrived at the hospital room, and although Uncle Lin felt curious, he still handed over the keychain to him.
He knew Chen Wengang was intentionally avoiding him, so he didn’t rush back. Walking along the lakeside path, he unconsciously returned to the same spot. Naturally, Zheng Yucheng was no longer sitting there, and Huo Niansheng didn’t care where he had gone.
The lake shimmered with lively ripples, exuding a summery vibe, but he felt inexplicably restless.
Most of the pent-up emotions dissipated with a sigh, but a part of them surged even more fiercely, unable to find an outlet. Huo Niansheng reached for his pocket, realizing he had forgotten his cigarettes, but he was too lazy to retrieve them. He just stood there by the lake, watching the waterfowl.
When he woke up early in the morning and heard about the car accident, his heart suddenly exploded. He couldn’t wait for the driver any longer and hurried here.
Then he saw Chen Wengang and Zheng Yucheng.
Engaged in an intimate conversation.
Actually, it shouldn’t be said that he was angry, but he didn’t come to witness this scene. Restlessness and unease plagued Huo Niansheng’s rationality, especially seeing the scratches on Chen Wengang’s face. Huo Niansheng dared not delve deep into his thoughts or face the possibility of almost losing him, so he chose to ignore it completely. He suppressed many horrifying images in his mind and desperately sought confirmation of his presence in another way.
Perhaps—
Suddenly, there was a call on his phone.
It was Zheng Baoqiu calling, “Cousin, did Wengang-ge leave with you? Why hasn’t he arrived home yet?”
Huo Niansheng absentmindedly responded, “What’s the matter?”
“Could you ask him if he’s coming home for lunch? If he is, I’ll inform the kitchen.”
“No need; I’ll take him out to eat.”
“Alright. Surviving a disaster brings good luck; let’s celebrate with a good meal… Oh, forget it, don’t tell him like that.” Zheng Baoqiu made a few ‘pfft’ sounds, “Do you know about what happened with his father before?”
“Yeah.”
“This time Uncle Lin was in a car accident. It was close to a big deal; he must be upset. Anyway, just don’t mention it.”
Huo Niansheng paused, hung up the phone, and turned back.
But Chen Wengang wasn’t in the car.
The empty parking lot made Huo Niansheng’s heart skip a beat. Under the sun, he began searching from the nearest shade of trees.
Surely, no one would be foolish enough to stay under the scorching sun.
He circled from one place to another until he found him between two buildings.
When Huo Niansheng saw Chen Wengang, he was standing on the steps, high above, his eyelids half-closed, looking down at Huo Niansheng expressionlessly.
It was the back of an office building, with a glass door. Though it was chained with iron, there seemed to be some air conditioning seeping out, so Chen Wengang chose to smoke there. He held his right hand with his left elbow, a cigarette burning halfway between his fingertips, smoke curling up.
Huo Niansheng’s gaze slid to his hand, where the knuckles were prominent, and the fair back of his hand revealed blue veins and clear veins.
The scene gave a taste of indescribable coldness as if it had wiped away the heat of summer entirely.
Chen Wengang’s gaze followed him, unmoving, just lightly flicking the cigarette ash with his index finger.
The cicadas’ chirping grew even more noisy.
Huo Niansheng frowned, as if something had exploded in his chest, collapsing one after another.
A familiar dizziness seized him, as if countless sharp needles were piercing his skull. He didn’t know how Zheng Yucheng had experienced his hangover headache just now, but now he felt as if a major blood vessel in his brain was pulsating. Huo Niansheng didn’t bother about that, taking three steps up and crossing two steps quickly. Chen Wengang still gazed at him until Huo Niansheng stood in front of him.
Waves of heat swept over them. Huo Niansheng hesitated and reached out, touching his cheek.
Tentatively, the back of his fingers felt the smooth, soft skin.
Suddenly, Huo Niansheng frowned, but then he breathed a sigh of relief.
He looked at Chen Wengang, his mind clear, realizing that the subtle game between them had never truly disappeared but was only temporarily suppressed. He enjoyed the thrill of the hunt and relished the other’s tenderness and compliance, intending to capture the other in his grasp.
But Chen Wengang could never truly become his plaything.
His inner self was like a gentle flame, radiating a non-threatening light and warmth. It seemed harmless, but if someone insisted on provoking it, they would inevitably get burned. Sometimes Huo Niansheng looked down on Zheng Yucheng’s trivial love games, but when it came down to it, he couldn’t help but mock himself. He thought he was so free-spirited, yet this flame could reduce him to ashes.
Having realized this, Huo Niansheng instead felt a resigned acceptance. In truth, the one who was truly afraid was him.
He was someone who could afford to lose, and if he didn’t bow his head, he would end up losing everything in this game.
Closing his eyes, Huo Niansheng exhaled again, then switched to using his thumb to stroke, “I apologize to you.”
Chen Wengang chuckled, “What’s wrong? Just because the car shook a bit earlier?”
“I’m sorry.” Huo Niansheng pulled him into an embrace and said, “I scared you earlier, didn’t I?”
However, the embrace only lasted a few seconds before being pushed away. “Hot.”
Chen Wengang pushed him out of the range of the escaping cold air, resumed holding his elbow, took a drag of his cigarette, and looked into the distance.
Huo Niansheng felt a bit disappointed, but his lips curled up slightly as he grabbed his hand, enveloping it, and leaned down to kiss his fingertips.
The fingers reflexively curled, and Chen Wengang withdrew his hand.
Then he heard him say, “Give me a slap next time. Wengang, don’t be soft-hearted.”
He turned his eyes back, staring straight at Huo Niansheng, finally smiled faintly, then coughed hoarsely a couple of times.
Huo Niansheng was still talking to him, his voice hanging in the air, and Chen Wengang initially listened, but he couldn’t help but drift off later. Fatigue had already deprived him of most of his cognitive abilities. He mechanically brushed off the cigarette ash, holding onto some semblance of alertness with the cigarette in his hand.
Huo Niansheng noticed the emptiness in his eyes and couldn’t help but smile again. It was that cynical smile of his.
But some feelings were different after all. It’s just whether they were realized or not.
Suddenly, Chen Wengang’s hand was empty. He was caught off guard as Huo Niansheng confiscated the cigarette.
Huo Niansheng brought the remaining half to his lips, taking a deep drag. The ember flickered slowly and resolutely.
Another drag and it was almost burnt out.
Then he used his fingers to extinguish the cigarette butt, took two steps, and casually tossed it into the nearby trash can.
“You shouldn’t smoke with those injuries on your face,” he said, “Let me take you to eat something, then we’ll go back and rest.”
“Okay…” Chen Wengang thought for a moment but didn’t have any better suggestions. “Let’s go.”
Huo Niansheng took him to a nearby restaurant, ordered a few light and quick dishes, and then they headed back to the Zheng residence.
Chen Wengang rested his eyes on the car. After a while, he heard Huo Niansheng turn off the traffic broadcast.
Huo Niansheng was very familiar with the road to the Zheng residence. As they approached, he suddenly turned to the passenger seat, where Chen Wengang was actually not sleeping, still half awake. Huo Niansheng raised an eyebrow and asked him, “What are you thinking about?”
“Not much. I’m so tired that I can’t sleep,” Chen Wengang yawned, starting to feel a headache at this moment.
“Then go to lie down properly in bed,” Huo Niansheng said, “Relax a bit, and listen to some music.”
“Okay.” Chen Wengang absentmindedly agreed and then suddenly asked, “Is the truck driver still being rescued?”
Huo Niansheng recalled Zheng Baoqiu’s words and considered them for a moment. “Not sure. I’ll ask when I get back and let you know.”
Chen Wengang’s voice carried a tired hoarseness, “Actually, we saw it at the scene. The front of the truck was completely smashed; it was difficult to rescue the person, and there was blood all over the ground… It’s probably unlikely.” He smirked, “Be more careful when driving in the future.”
Huo Niansheng smiled reassuringly, “Of course. Don’t think too much about it. Just go back and get a good night’s sleep.”
***
When they arrived home, Chen Wengang no longer had the energy to care about Huo Niansheng. He quickly took a shower and lay down on the bed.
His sleep quality was already poor, with shallow sleep and many dreams. Exhausted as he was, he tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep.
After an unknown amount of time had passed, the room door clicked open—
Chen Wengang was startled, sitting up to see the visitor clearly. “How did you get in?”
Huo Niansheng slipped inside, smiling faintly, gesturing with his index finger to his lips, “Shh—”
With the head housekeeper gone now and Zheng Bingyi absent, it provided an opportunity for this person to enter. Regardless of whether it was proper etiquette or not, he entered the room directly and sat down beside Chen Wengang’s bed. “Don’t worry. Baoqiu let me in; I didn’t climb over the wall.”
He glanced around the room.
There was a desk by the window with a laptop, pen holder, markers, and a phone charging with its red light blinking slightly. A few books were stacked together, labeled with library tags, with the top one titled “Social Work Project Management,” revealing colorful sticky notes on the side. Against the wall, a full-height bookshelf was filled with books, including some old textbooks.
It was Huo Niansheng’s first time intruding into his private space, and Chen Wengang felt inexplicably nervous. “You…”
Huo Niansheng averted his gaze, pressing him back down onto the bed. “I won’t disturb you. I just wanted to see you. I’ll leave when you fall asleep.”
He tucked Chen Wengang in like a child. Chen Wengang hesitated but eventually closed his eyes under his insistence.
He didn’t know when Huo Niansheng intended to leave, and lying there, he didn’t feel very stable. His brows were unconsciously furrowed, pretending to have fallen asleep.
His nerves grew increasingly tense, and suddenly a hand was placed on his head, gently stroking.
One stroke after another, the turmoil in his mind gradually smoothed out.
Chen Wengang wasn’t sure if he had been lying there for an hour or two, being stroked like this, but he gradually fell asleep.
This time, the nightmares didn’t come to haunt him. He sank directly into a deep darkness, enveloped by Huo Niansheng’s presence.
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