Prev | Table of Contents | Next
Chapter 122: He felt like that vague moth.
The cold rain was dreary, hitting the car window in a sporadic manner.
Chen Wengang sat with his head lowered in the back seat, listening to the traffic radio broadcast by the driver, reminding the public that a typhoon was approaching and urging citizens to travel safely. Ahead looked like a black hole, leading to unknown destinies, while he, before the storm arrived, was temporarily safe.
Huo Niansheng held his phone, typing with his head down, then suddenly asked, “Have you eaten?”
Chen Wengang wrapped himself in his coat, no longer trembling, and subconsciously replied, “Mm.”
The suit jacket was warm, still carrying the warmth of the other person, covering his narrow shoulders.
Actually, he hadn’t eaten yet, but he didn’t want to bother anyone. Usually, the shop owner would let the staff take away the expired food from the convenience store, but today everything sold out, leaving nothing. Huo Niansheng’s expression remained indifferent, but when they passed by the family cake shop, he stopped: “Lao Li.”
The driver got off the car and came back with a paper bag and a box of chestnut cakes.
The Rolls-Royce entered the garage, and Chen Wengang followed Huo Niansheng into the elevator.
As the elevator ascended floor by floor, his heart also lifted layer by layer.
Huo Niansheng put his hands in his pockets, still looking relaxed, as if bringing a homeless man home was not a strange thing at all.
The elevator went directly to the entrance, and Chen Wengang stood awkwardly at the door.
He looked down at his shoes, covered in mud and sand, his clothes not exactly clean, contrasting with the clean and tidy environment. Then he watched as Huo Niansheng placed the paper bag at the entrance and personally took out a pair of slippers, tossing them in front of him.
Chen Wengang hesitated, wanting to speak but holding back, and finally just said thank you.
Huo Niansheng said, “What are you standing there for? Come in.”
Chen Wengang changed his shoes and entered the house.
The dirty shoes were neatly placed at the entrance.
The living room was as bright as day, every detail exposed. Chen Wengang took two steps forward, feeling a sense of emptiness in his heart, and stopped in his tracks.
He truly had nowhere to go, no other choice, to the point where he didn’t even think about it and blindly followed Huo Niansheng into the car.
As if grasping at a lifesaving straw as soon as this person appeared.
And then?
What did Huo Niansheng intend to do by taking him in?
What could he do at this moment?
One turn around, and Huo Niansheng was almost following behind Chen Wengang, causing him to jump in surprise.
This distance had already crossed the safe distance of interpersonal communication. Huo Niansheng didn’t retreat but instead moved closer, suddenly reaching out with both hands.
Chen Wengang couldn’t help but hold his breath, feeling the warm breath heating up his forehead.
Huo Niansheng lowered his head in front of him, supporting the back of his head with his hands and examining it in the light.
Chen Wengang tensed his body, the faint itching pain on his face turning into a burning sensation. He frowned, trying to twist his head away, but without success. The strong acid would corrode the muscles and skin, the doctor removed the necrotic flesh, and then waited for new flesh to grow slowly.
This process was already painful, compounded by the lack of proper rest in the environment and repeated infections of the wound, it never fully healed.
Now, the extent of his injuries was exposed in front of Huo Niansheng.
The light was glaring, and the scars were clearly visible. Huo Niansheng looked down at Chen Wengang’s face, the areas that had not yet healed were still covered with scabs, forming traces of melted flesh and skin, which looked scary, partially obscured by the brim of the hat.
He had also lost weight, looking thin and frail, with a piece of wrist exposed from the sleeve, as if only bones were left.
The thumb inserted among the strands of hair moved slightly, brushing against the skin.
Before Huo Niansheng’s eyebrows could furrow, they relaxed ahead of time. He breathed out gently, his face still calm and composed.
He neither pitied nor sympathized, nor was he greatly surprised. This indifferent attitude also made Chen Wengang breathe a sigh of relief—temporarily relieved. He freed himself, took off the coat that had been draped over him all the way, and returned it to Huo Niansheng. The faint woody scent still lingered at the tip of his nose.
That was the fragrance left on the other person’s clothes, like the damp cold mist of a morning.
Huo Niansheng was still the same Huo Niansheng. Dignified and debonair, even if he had experienced some things, it seemed they hadn’t affected him at all, and he still lived a life of wealth and leisure. If there was any change, it was only himself, the one who had fallen and couldn’t get back up.
Chen Wengang’s mind was filled with random thoughts, and he heard the other person ask, “We’re indoors now, do you still want to wear that hat?”
He just remembered this, hesitated for a moment, and then took off his hat as instructed, placing it on the coffee table.
As Huo Niansheng stepped forward, Chen Wengang stepped back, instinctively showing the side of his face that was not injured. As long as Huo Niansheng stood on his right side, he would intentionally or unintentionally turn his head away, not wanting to be scrutinized, but also as self-protection, fearing further harm.
But he quickly realized and quietly thanked Huo Niansheng.
Regardless, tonight, the other person provided him with a shelter in the bleak wind and rain. It wasn’t to ridicule him for fun, deceive him into getting into the car and then dumping him in the wilderness, or to mock and humiliate him, driving to the other end of the city and leaving him to walk back to the dock area on his own.
Even if Huo Niansheng had such idle thoughts, there was nothing he could do. Fortunately, the other person wasn’t so malicious.
He just asked Chen Wengang to sit on the sofa for a while.
Chen Wengang curled his legs up and sat on the sofa, lost in thought.
The cake and the paper bag were also placed on the coffee table, next to the hat. Chen Wengang was hungry, but had no intention of acting rashly. This was someone else’s territory, so he should obey the host’s instructions. He felt like a lethargic goldfish lying limp in a basin, moving only when poked.
Huo Niansheng went to fetch a set of pajamas and threw them on the sofa. “The clothes are big, just make do and wear them.”
Chen Wengang looked up at him, “You—”
At the same time, Huo Niansheng also spoke, “And—”
Two voices collided, and Huo Niansheng conceded, “You go first.”
Chen Wengang swallowed his words back, “It’s okay, I forgot what I wanted to say.”
The fabric in his hand was new, dry and soft, but Chen Wengang was full of smoke smell. He just spread out the clothes and folded them up little by little. Between the two of them, silence descended quietly, like a suffocating vortex, continuously spreading, permeating every corner of the room.
Huo Niansheng spoke first again, “Also, I have something else to do, so I’ll leave first.”
Chen Wengang was startled, then stood up and put on slippers, following him to the door.
Huo Niansheng turned around and asked again, “Are you okay staying here alone?”
Chen Wengang naturally said it was okay. Before leaving, Huo Niansheng asked if he had a phone and took down the phone number he was currently using.
Saved, he dialed it once, and Chen Wengang’s phone rang with the default ringtone.
Huo Niansheng glanced at him, “You should save mine too, call me if you need anything.”
Then he left, as if this trip was just to bring someone to shelter, without even changing his shoes when he entered the house.
With a bang, the security door separated the two spaces inside and outside, and the half of the room returned to silence.
Staring at the cold iron door for a long time, Chen Wengang turned around and slowly walked back to the living room.
His gaze fell on the coffee table, where the cake was still placed, but Huo Niansheng had left, undoubtedly leaving it for him to eat. Otherwise, it would spoil by tomorrow, even if kept in the refrigerator, and Mr. Huo probably wouldn’t touch such food.
Chen Wengang opened the nearby paper bag, which contained a tuna sandwich, a bag of raisin toast, and a bottle of fresh juice.
Following the order of expiration dates, he took out the sandwich, along with the juice, to satisfy his hunger, and put the toast in the refrigerator.
Then he sat back on the sofa.
Solitude was something he longed for, but immediately being alone in the crowd and in a familiar environment, in this glass-like apartment, the silent air was like a thick, sticky resin, slowly solidifying around him, making it difficult to move.
After a long silence, Chen Wengang, like a revived statue, looked around, wondering if there was a surveillance camera hidden in some corner of the room, but then dismissed the idea on his own, feeling it was ridiculous. What could Huo Niansheng observe by locking him up here, conducting an experiment?
Slowly, he reached out and took the box of chestnut cake.
He unwrapped the spoon packaging, scooped up some cream, and tasted it—sweet but not cloying. The cake was small, just a few bites.
Chen Wengang found the trash can and threw the packaging into it.
Then he found the switch in the room, turned off the main light, and left only a circle of soft, non-glaring lights.
The room darkened, with even, weak light diffusing throughout. A moth that had flown in lost its target, fluttering futilely along the ceiling.
Chen Wengang leaned his head against the floor-to-ceiling window and watched the rain.
This was probably the last typhoon of the year. No matter how tightly the windows were sealed, there was always a hint of chill sneaking in from somewhere.
It could be imagined that in weather like this, the shabby rented house in the dock area must have become a water curtain cave by now, making it impossible to stay there.
Chen Wengang pressed his head against the window and watched the rain.
He felt like he was that blurry moth.
The weather outside was no longer controllable. In an instant, the rain poured down like a torrent, and the sky was as dark as ink.
But suddenly he remembered his few possessions and the medication he needed, which were probably going to get soaked.
Chen Wengang felt very indifferent, without even the strength to force a bitter smile.
This destitute and chaotic life was something he had never experienced from childhood to adulthood. When his father was alive, he never suffered, and even less so after his father passed away. After being released on medical parole, if he didn’t lose face, he wouldn’t really be at a loss. In the worst case, he could privately seek help from Zheng Baoqiu, or his former classmates. There would always be one or two close friends who would be willing to lend a helping hand.
Huo Niansheng laughed at him for being aloof, but rather than being aloof, he only saw his own weakness.
He would rather sleep under a bridge than have the courage to face those pitying and strange glances again.
When the clock struck twelve, Chen Wengang completed his initial exploration of the apartment. He looked into every open room door but didn’t step beyond the threshold. There were probably two bathrooms, one in the master bedroom and one in the living room outside.
For bedtime hygiene, Chen Wengang went to the one outside, which faced the washbasin with a huge mirror hanging on it.
He glanced up at it, then looked away, bending down to study the shower. He quickly rinsed off, trying his best not to touch his face.
On the washbasin lay a set of brand new dental supplies, the kind used in hotels.
From this, it could be inferred that this was not Huo Niansheng’s usual residence.
It was just a property under his name.
The next morning at six o’clock, Chen Wengang woke up. He had spent the night lying on the sofa, but the longer he lay there, the more exhausted he felt, almost as if he hadn’t slept at all.
The wound flared up during the night, itching and painful, tossing and turning until the latter half of the night before he unknowingly closed his eyes for a while.
After daybreak, it was still pouring rain outside, and the light inside the room was dim as dusk.
Huo Niansheng was not there, so he couldn’t be sure of the other’s intentions—should he leave or stay?
Hesitating for a long time in front of his phone, Chen Wengang finally put it down and just went to the kitchen to take out the toast from the refrigerator.
An hour later, the phone rang on its own, and it was Huo Niansheng: “Are you awake?”
When he called, Chen Wengang was pouring water with one hand. His right eye had almost no vision, making it difficult to judge distances in coordination with his left eye. The glass jug shook, and the slender cup hanging on it fell, rolling on the table and falling off.
Huo Niansheng heard the commotion from the other end of the phone: “What was that noise?”
There was a long silence on the other end of the line.
Chen Wengang finally spoke: “Sorry, the jug and cup, let me compensate you for a set.”
Huo Niansheng said, “They’re not valuable items. You don’t need to worry about it. Someone will come over later.”
The rain continued until noon, and someone rang the doorbell. A competent professional woman stood outside: “Mr. Chen, right?”
She was holding several paper bags: “I’m Mr. Huo’s assistant, my surname is Yang, or you can call me Amanda.”
Chen Wengang let her into the house, and Amanda showed no surprise, heading straight to the kitchen to check. The floor was spotless. Chen Wengang had already packed all the glass shards into plastic bags and found some wide tape to wrap around them.
Amanda noticed the cuts on his hands.
Her task now shifted to finding the first aid kit: “Let me handle this for you.”
Two strangers under one roof, the atmosphere was somewhat awkward. Amanda tore open a packet of medical alcohol swabs and rummaged through the box for tweezers. Chen Wengang saw it and reached out to grab them: “Give it to me, I’ll do it myself.”
In the process of reaching, he knocked over the red-and-white first aid kit.
The commonly used medications spilled all over the floor.
The bottle of iodine fell and shattered on the carpet, making a small but noticeable mess, staining the carpet with an unsightly brownish-yellow.
Amanda quickly reacted, squatting down to clean up the mess: “It’s my fault, I put the first aid kit too close to the edge of the table.”
Her pants and high heels were also splattered with small dots of yellow, but Chen Wengang was even closer to the table, resulting in a colorful mess on his trousers.
Chen Wengang also squatted down, his lips moved slightly as he apologized, picking up a box of aspirin and handing it to her.
Later in the evening, Huo Niansheng came over with a family doctor.
The doctor, in his fifties with deep wrinkles around his eyes, examined the fundus with an illuminated pupil pen. Chen Wengang had changed into a clean set of clothes—Amanda had brought clothes in his size, replacing the cheap street stall outfit he had worn yesterday.
Actually, in his current state, it made no difference what he wore.
“To what extent can you see with your right eye?”
“When there’s strong light, there’s still some light sensitivity. Very little.”
“What about normally? If you don’t shine a flashlight directly into it like this?”
“I can’t see clearly…” Chen Wengang hesitated and corrected himself, “I’m not sure. I just mentioned light sensitivity, but it might be psychological.”
“Don’t worry, don’t be nervous.” The doctor said, “Being too nervous can also affect your vision. Relax, look this way with your eyes. Like this?”
Chen Wengang sat at the dining table, while the doctor talked to Huo Niansheng by the French windows, engrossed in conversation, leaving the person involved out. Chen Wengang didn’t feel like going closer, propping his elbows on the table and feeling the gaze on him.
When he looked up, Huo Niansheng had already withdrawn his gaze, redirecting it back to the doctor’s face.
Chen Wengang saw the doctor’s shadow shaking his head gently.
The diagnosis was hospitalization for further detailed examinations and treatment.
Amanda went to see off the family doctor, leaving the two men alone in the apartment.
Chen Wengang remained seated at the dining chair, and Huo Niansheng approached him, asking, “What did you have for lunch?”
Chen Wengang looked up at him, silent for a while.
The stain left by the iodine on the carpet resembled a map mixed with bloodstains, forming some irregular shape. Huo Niansheng didn’t seem to notice it, but Chen Wengang was lost in thought, thinking that the carpet would have to be sent for cleaning or might even need to be replaced entirely.
It was probably a very expensive and unattractive price.
Huo Niansheng stepped closer to him, suddenly reaching out his hand.
Chen Wengang reflexively turned his head away again.
Huo Niansheng reached past him and picked up the ointment on the table—the doctor had left behind some medication before leaving, both oral and topical, placed neatly on the table. Huo Niansheng unfolded the instruction leaflet, glanced at it, then unscrewed the cap and sniffed it.
Chen Wengang stared at him as if startled.
Huo Niansheng asked, “How do you apply this? Just smear it on your face like this, three times a day?”
Chen Wengang couldn’t bear it, suddenly pushing the chair back. He stood up: “Let me explain—”
Huo Niansheng leaned against the table, making a listening expression.
Chen Wengang moved his lips slightly: “You were willing to take me in yesterday, I should thank you, but…”
Huo Niansheng gave him an encouraging smile, prompting him to continue: “But what?”
Chen Wengang said, “I don’t want to cause you too much trouble. I might, just go back.”
Huo Niansheng squinted at him: “Then why did you agree to come with me in the first place?”
Chen Wengang didn’t meet his eyes directly.
His vision was blurred, losing some ability to judge distances, and his sense of balance had greatly deteriorated. Sometimes, just standing still, he felt like he was swaying unconsciously. Several responses kept swirling in his mind, each one more awkward than the last.
Chen Wengang just hung his head: “Forget it, let’s just leave it at that.”
He had already decided to say goodbye: “The cups and your assistant’s clothes, I’ll send you the money for them in a while.”
Huo Niansheng chuckled: “You want to waive the expenses from yesterday’s food and drink, the clothes you’re wearing, and even the doctor’s fee just now?”
The casual glance carried a thorn, making Chen Wengang feel fragmented and hazy in front of him.
After all, he really had nothing. Whether it was goodwill or malice, he could only accept everything without complaint.
Huo Niansheng suddenly adopted a softer tone: “What do you have to worry about?”
He patted Chen Wengang’s shoulder, urging him to sit back down, then rubbed his chin, observing the place where his wounds hadn’t healed properly and were still festering: “Just an acquaintance, couldn’t bear to see it, just helping you look at your face. I haven’t said it’s troublesome yet. Are you just fooling around with me with all these back-and-forths?”
Chen Wengang smiled bitterly: “Maybe I still feel that leaving on my own accord is a bit more dignified than being kicked out.”
Huo Niansheng looked at him: “This is the first lesson you need to learn, dignity is worthless.”
Chen Wengang tilted his face up, silent as he stared back at him.
Huo Niansheng sneered: “What, don’t think what I said is right? But if I were you, while there’s still something to eat and use, whether it’s given by someone else or not, take advantage of it. When the day comes that I get tired of you and want to kick you out, won’t you be at a loss then?”
Chen Wengang thought lightly to himself, but there’s also a saying, there’s no such thing as a free lunch.
In the end, what was Huo Niansheng after?
If the person in front of him was willing to clearly state what his intentions were, it might make him feel a little more at ease. Like doing business, stating the price plainly, if you can afford it, you make the deal, if not, you walk away. Sometimes it’s fair, but most of the time it’s probably unfair.
The rich and powerful always find it easier to gain more, while the less fortunate always end up with less.
However, Chen Wengang’s problem was his lack of resources, and he had no more means to pay any other price.
Regardless, Huo Niansheng had made the decision for him, and he would start preparing for hospitalization tomorrow.
Working at the convenience store would naturally be out of the question. Chen Wengang had originally sent a message to the store owner in the morning to ask for time off, but after a few hours, it turned into a resignation. The store owner was a good person, but he couldn’t help but complain a little, saying that suddenly finding someone to cover the shift was troublesome.
After a string of apologies and thanks, Chen Wengang hung up the phone, effectively losing his only source of income.
This gave him a sense of suspension, standing on the edge of an abyss, with the only person he could rely on left. Chen Wengang glanced at Huo Niansheng, who had taken a bottle of liquor from the liquor cabinet and poured himself a drink, leaning against the counter, listening to him finish the call with a smile that seemed to hold more than met the eye.
Suddenly, Huo Niansheng asked, “How much is your hourly wage at that store you work at?”
Chen Wengang truthfully reported a number.
Huo Niansheng chuckled, clearly unimpressed: “Not bad. There are plenty of job opportunities in the future.”
But it wasn’t certain that he would encounter kind-hearted individuals willing to employ him. Chen Wengang thought so, but couldn’t refute it. No matter how he complained, it seemed like he was hinting ungratefully at Huo Niansheng for providing him with food and shelter and even planning for his livelihood.
In the end, he had no words left: “Do you have anything to do this afternoon?”
Huo Niansheng said, “No.”
Chen Wengang nodded: “Okay.”
There was nothing else to say between the two of them.
But that day, until the evening, Huo Niansheng stayed in the apartment without leaving.
Chen Wengang felt like he was sitting on pins and needles, uncomfortable with someone he wasn’t familiar with. By evening, he went to bed early, almost as if he was escaping. Because of Huo Niansheng, he couldn’t sleep on the couch anymore, so he stayed in the guest bedroom. The medicine he took contained some sedatives, so he fell asleep smoothly this time.
After a long time, there were two soft knocks on the door, but there was no response from inside.
The door was pushed open, and Huo Niansheng walked in, holding a glass of milk in his hand. Chen Wengang lay with his eyes closed, breathing evenly.
Huo Niansheng walked to the side of his bed and looked at him for a long time.
Chen Wengang curled up, but there was hardly any movement under the covers. Huo Niansheng bent down, his gaze scanning over his face.
To avoid smudging the ointment on the pillowcase, Chen Wengang could only lie with his right cheek up. Huo Niansheng just stared at him. This was not the first time he had sized up Chen Wengang’s face, confirming it again and again, as if by looking at it a few more times, the bloody and flesh wounds would disappear.
But unlike during the day, at this moment, Huo Niansheng’s expression became inexplicably complex.
Chen Wengang wouldn’t know what indescribable taste surged in Huo Niansheng’s heart when he looked at him.
Even though he was prepared early on, it was still shocking to the eye.
It felt like a hand was squeezing his heart, and for a moment, Huo Niansheng thought, if only money could buy everything. However, this was just self-deception. There were plenty of wealthy people, but money alone couldn’t buy back time. At this point, he could only drink the bitter wine.
But there was one thing Huo Niansheng knew.
Chen Wengang was afraid, afraid of his arrival, afraid of everything outside.
Huo Niansheng might feel reluctant too, but he couldn’t lose his composure. He had to remain calm and stable, like Mount Tai.
In the middle of the night, Huo Niansheng, sleeping in the master bedroom, opened his eyes. There was a faint rustling sound coming from outside.
In fact, even if there was, it was extremely subtle, more like intuition telling him so.
There was indeed someone in the living room, a figure sitting next to the bar counter, the thin back facing the floor-to-ceiling window.
Chen Wengang opened the bottle of wine that Huo Niansheng hadn’t finished drinking in the afternoon, his arms propped up on the counter, drinking it sip by sip.
Huo Niansheng walked over with slightly heavier steps.
Chen Wengang noticed him: “You said it yourself, take advantage of what’s available, and deal with the rest later.”
Huo Niansheng nodded: “Yes, I did.”
Chen Wengang brought the cup to his lips again, feeling a bit intoxicated now, his gaze blurred and unfocused, making him speak so impolitely.
In the darkness, Chen Wengang didn’t find the moth from yesterday. He didn’t know where it had disappeared to.
The rain had stopped.
Huo Niansheng sighed and reached out, taking the cup from Chen Wengang’s hand.
“Anyway, it depends on the situation and the occasion. You have a check-up tomorrow, so it’s best not to drink.”
Chen Wengang remained quiet and didn’t argue.
The dangerous male aura lingered behind him, but strangely enough, when he got into the car yesterday, he couldn’t help but tremble all over. Twenty-four hours had passed, and this aura was quickly stamped with a familiar mark, incorporated into his acceptable range of closeness.
Suddenly, Huo Niansheng asked, “Do you remember when I went abroad before? You were still young back then.”
Chen Wengang countered, “Is there any difference between living abroad for a few years and staying in the country?”
Huo Niansheng smiled and chatted with him, “Not really. People like me, it’s just a matter of hanging out in a different place, driving around, and having more diverse company. If I had to do it again, I wouldn’t choose to go abroad.”
Chen Wengang remained silent.
He thought for a moment before asking, “What are the requirements for going abroad?”
Huo Niansheng raised his eyebrows, teasing him, “Why, do you also want to go abroad?”
Chen Wengang smiled, “I was just asking casually. Without money to invest and no job skills, how could I possibly get a visa?”
Huo Niansheng also chuckled, “First, get your wound treated. Later, you can undergo skin graft surgery. I looked it up, and there are some cases where the outcome is quite good, even restoring it to almost the same as before. How old are you? Twenty-one or twenty-two, it’s not too early to lose hope.”
He said it as if it were just a small cut. Chen Wengang lowered his head, aided by a bit of drunkenness, “It’s easier said than done.”
Huo Niansheng patted his shoulder, “Everyone has their own destiny, sometimes you just have to accept it.”
Chen Wengang asked, “And what after accepting it?”
Huo Niansheng’s face showed a faintly mocking smile again, “Do you really believe in that? You’ve suffered for someone else and ended up like this. How do you plan to accept it? When Zheng Yucheng’s child celebrates their anniversary, do you want to go and give them your blessings?”
Chen Wengang’s face showed no reaction, nor did he seem angry. He just stood up and bid him goodnight.
After returning to his room and falling asleep again, Chen Wengang had a dream. In the dream, there was sand and stones flying, like a tornado swirling in the depths of the desert. Chen Wengang saw countless fragmented scenes in the terrifying sandstorm. He stumbled backward and fell into someone’s arms in a weightless state.
But his vision was blurred, and when he turned around, it was still all hazy. Before he could see who it was, he woke up to the light of dawn.
Prev | Table of Contents | Next
*prepares more tissue paper* 😭😭
This part is when I want to skin Zheng Yucheng alive, more so than He Wanxin although definitely would want to see that too
Ngl I hate Zheng Yucheng more than He Wanxin. This guy is so ungrateful and really take Wengang for granted. Bah. He knew Wengang would be the one getting the short end of the stick yet he still selfishly pulled him into the relationship.
Anyone else crying in these flashbacks
Crying a river. I really don’t know who I hate more. ZY for being such an inconsiderate, selfish and idiotic man? HW for ruining someone’s life just because of her petty insecurities? The adults who did nothing to help and covered everything up? The people hired to make CW life even more miserable than it already was? How can people be so cruel? wuwuwuwu