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Chapter 69: There is indeed a rabbit head on the cover.
Lu Qinglai’s question failed to move Zhou You. Zhou You tilted his head and carefully examined Lu Qinglai.
There was no emotion in his gaze, but inexplicably, it made Lu Qinglai’s hair stand on end. He thought of the things Zhou You had done in his mind, the pain Zhou You had induced that went deep into his soul, often waking him from nightmares in the middle of the night—yet after the pain, Zhou You would always comfort him, laying out beautiful scenes in his “sea area” that he could never see in his lifetime.
Pleasure and pain were equally intense and equally inescapable.
He loved Zhou You with a kind of inexplicable fervor, begging for Zhou You’s closeness. If Zhou You asked him to dive into the deep sea to salvage a sunken ship, even if he couldn’t swim, couldn’t dive, even if there were countless great white sharks swimming around the wreck, even if there was a curse at the bottom of the ship that would doom him forever, he would still go. As long as Zhou You asked him to, he would risk his life and go.
But somewhere in his heart, in a corner of his already chaotic “sea area,” he heard a small voice asking himself: Why?
Why infatuated, why love, why would he use every lowly means just to get a kiss from Zhou You?
Even if it was a kiss that could only fall on Zhou You’s shoe or pant leg.
Lu Qinglai couldn’t think about it too much. He knew the answer, but he enjoyed everything Zhou You gave him, like pain, like the illusion of love, like the fallacy that pleasure must be accompanied by pain.
“How could I give you up?” Zhou You finally spoke.
His voice was like the smoothest silk, and Lu Qinglai listened in a daze, only showing a smile after a long while: “Really?”
“Teacher Lu, you doubt me.” Zhou You reached out and touched Lu Qinglai’s ear. Lu Qinglai reflexively shrank his neck, which made Zhou You laugh, “Afraid?”
Lu Qinglai’s body was very stiff, but his heartbeat gradually accelerated. Touching his ear was a signal that Zhou You was about to explore his “sea area,” and he was both expectant and afraid.
Zhou You kneaded Lu Qinglai’s earlobe. The pale blue light coldly illuminated the few strands of white hair on Lu Qinglai’s head and the fine wrinkles on his face. He was more than ten years older than Zhou You, but at this moment, he was like Zhou You’s servant, not daring to move because of his master’s approach.
“We’ve known each other for so long… Teacher Lu, you haven’t changed at all.” Zhou You said gently, “When I first saw you in Luquan, you weren’t as obedient as you are now.”
Lu Qinglai didn’t expect him to bring this up.
“If you hadn’t saved me, I might have died in Luquan.” Zhou You laughed, “You are my benefactor, Teacher Lu. How could I give you up?”
Lu Qinglai’s lips trembled, emitting a faint sound: “You won’t lie to me.”
“I won’t lie to you.” Zhou You got up and approached him, speaking softly from a nearly face-to-face distance, “Have I ever lied to you? Didn’t I say that after things are over, I would tell you the secret under Luquan?”
He was too close, and Lu Qinglai suddenly became excited. But he didn’t dare to move; he just stared into Zhou You’s eyes, his gaze falling on his black pupils and long eyelashes.
“Zhang Xiao is back, which means that Xie Zijing’s ‘sea area’ can be restored.” Zhou You said, “Once his ‘sea area’ is restored, they will immediately know what happened in Luquan that day, why so many people died.”
A strange smile gradually appeared on Zhou You’s face.
“Then they will go to Luquan, they will definitely go, right?” He laughed, “They will enter the depths of Luquan… Enter hell.”
He suddenly became ferocious, grabbing Lu Qinglai’s collar and shouting, “What I endured, I want them to taste it too! I want everyone to taste it all just like you and me!”
Lu Qinglai was startled by his rage and quickly grabbed his hand: “Zhou You… Don’t be angry. Listen to me, Zhou You…”
It took a full minute for Zhou You to calm down.
After many years together, Lu Qinglai only knew that the name “Zhou You” seemed like a spell, able to quickly soothe all the rage and pain in the man before him. He always felt that Zhou You’s name was not that simple, but no matter how he asked, Zhou You was unwilling to reveal anything.
“…Zhou You.”
Lu Qinglai heard a soft sigh in Zhou You’s heavy breathing.
***
Qin Ge and Zhang Xiao passed through the wardrobe passage and approached the ruins outside.
Xie Zijing , wearing a school uniform, stood far away, looking like he had no intention of approaching the two.
“What should we do?” Qin Ge asked Zhang Xiao.
Zhang Xiao looked at him and asked, “Are you sure you can do it? Do you need my help?”
Qin Ge shook his head, “No need. I’ve memorized all the information you gave me, and I understood the principle long ago.”
Zhang Xiao nodded, turning to walk towards Xie Zijing. Qin Ge hesitated for a moment before passing through the passage again, returning to the small room.
This process had to be completed by him alone. He didn’t want Zhang Xiao to touch any of the memories and feelings in this room related to himself.
There was a slight sound behind him as Xie Zijing also squeezed back in, silently standing aside.
He was so young. In fact, Qin Ge couldn’t remember what kind of sentinel he had handed the flower to that day. He couldn’t remember Xie Zijing’s appearance and could only search through the photos in the drawer and the self-awareness in front of him.
Xie Zijing had said that his house was gone and that he was completely alone.
Once the “sea area” was restored, 18-year-old Xie Zijing would completely disappear from here. Qin Ge would never see this version of him again.
Xie Zijing looked at him blankly as he walked over, opened his arms, and embraced him.
Usually, Xie Zijing was half a head taller than him, and when he hugged Qin Ge, Qin Ge would feel like he was being firmly protected by his sentinel. But now, he was stronger than the 18-year-old Xie Zijing. The young man’s muscles were very firm, but Qin Ge still felt they had switched roles, and now he was the one protecting Xie Zijing.
He kissed Xie Zijing’s ear, whispering, “I love you.”
Xie Zijing trembled in his arms, “Hmm?”
Qin Ge released him and gazed into his eyes, “You know, don’t you?”
Xie Zijing slowly nodded, a shy red gradually appearing on his still somewhat boyish face.
Qin Ge kissed his lips, the suppressed emotions in his heart boiling over like a hot fire, about to overflow from his body.
He let go of the hand gripping Xie Zijing’s shoulder, turned, and walked to the desk, picking up the photo frame. He looked at it, as if to remember every detail, then pressed it against his chest, slowly, bit by bit, pressing it into his body.
“Qin Ge!”
Xie Zijing called his name from behind. The name was also like a spell, making Qin Ge feel sad. He grabbed “The Sentinel and His Six Guides,” the figure on the cover reaching out a finger to Xie Zijing, lighting up his life. This was the moment God gave Adam a soul. He hurriedly tucked the book into his body, and it sank into him like it had fallen into water.
Then there were the little trinkets. Qin Ge held the panda, sand cat, and werewolf in his hand, watching them shatter and collapse into fine dust, absorbed by his body.
Now the drawer could be easily opened. He picked up Xie Zijing’s photo, unable to resist kissing the young sentinel, who wasn’t looking at the camera.
He was looking at me, he had been watching me back then. Qin Ge thought he knew too late; if only he had known earlier… If only he had known earlier, at least he wouldn’t be so afraid now.
The photo shattered under his lips, the tiny fragments falling into his wet, reddened eyes like fine snow.
The third drawer contained the bouquet. When Qin Ge picked it up, the bouquet suddenly trembled, and all the petals instantly fell off, flying around in the windless room.
He heard Xie Zijing’s voice behind him, “Will all these things disappear?”
“Yes.” Qin Ge replied, “The house doesn’t exist, so everything relying on the house will disappear.”
With a voice that was somewhere between a teenager and a young man, Xie Zijing said firmly, “No, not everything will disappear.”
“I know… maybe.” Qin Ge replied softly, “So, I’ll remember them for you first.”
He reached out to touch the poster on the wall. As soon as his fingertip touched the edge of the poster, it disappeared. Multicolored mist spread from the wall, instantly filling the small space. A wind from nowhere grew stronger and stronger, and the petals and mist were all stirred into a huge vortex. Qin Ge and Xie Zijing stood in the vortex, swaying.
Qin Ge wanted to comfort Xie Zijing and tell him it would be over soon. He might feel intense physical and mental pain because these things had accompanied him for so long, but once he fully awakened, the pain would disappear like these memories
Before he could speak, he was tightly hugged by Xie Zijing. The strong sense of unease made the teenager capture the sense of crisis. He looked at Qin Ge in panic, and when he opened his mouth, it was Qin Ge’s completely familiar, hoarse voice: “Qin Ge—”
He disappeared too.
The wildly swirling mist churned everything that could be churned in the small space: the bookshelf, wardrobe, desk, the bicycle by the wall, and the bed. Everything was shattered. The room swayed but stubbornly refused to collapse.
Sharp, invisible objects mixed in the whirlwind cut Qin Ge’s skin. He didn’t feel pain. Something deeper than physical pain was burrowing into his body, hammering and taking root in his head. He braced against the wind and walked towards the small window that emitted a white light.
The rain was getting heavier. Zhang Xiao was drenched, his overwhelming spiritual energy spreading across the boundless ruins. A lively little animal ran with all its might, and wherever it stepped, the foul stagnant water ceased to flow, and the ground trembled slightly.
Zhang Xiao kept watching the small house in the distance. Square-shaped, it was both a refuge and a cage.
Xie Zijing had stayed in the house all this time. As long as he didn’t want to, he didn’t need to enter the ruins. His “sea area” had been damaged, but life remained peaceful and good as long as he stayed in the refuge.
Being forcibly dragged back into the ruins never felt good.
He suddenly heard a clear cracking sound.
It was as if someone had broken the glass from inside the room.
Zhang Xiao immediately stood up and ran towards the room. After a few steps, he stopped. The originally sturdy room was being devoured by a whirlwind from within: the walls shattered, and the wind howled, lifting the dense mist into the sky, scattering it everywhere.
Yellow rose petals fell into Zhang Xiao’s palm, quickly disappearing without a trace. Snow began to fall in the “sea area,” fine as dust. The rain mixed with the snow, making Zhang Xiao shiver from the cold.
“Qin Ge?”
The whirlwind disappeared, leaving an empty space where the room had been, with only Qin Ge standing there.
He was in a sorry state, with fine scratches all over his skin exposed to the whirlwind. “What’s going on?” He struggled to smile at Zhang Xiao, “My consciousness entered the ‘sea area,’ can consciousness get hurt too?” He looked down at the blood marks on his hands and arms.
Zhang Xiao held Qin Ge’s hand.
Because your own consciousness has also lost its resistance to the harm within the “sea,” you are already exhausted. He didn’t say it out loud, just held Zhang Xiao’s hand tightly.
The scratches on Qin Ge’s arm gradually disappeared. He was half surprised, half amazed: “Teacher Zhang, it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
As soon as he spoke, he couldn’t hold back anymore, tears uncontrollably dripping onto Zhang Xiao’s hand.
Zhang Xiao hurriedly hugged him, letting Qin Ge bury his head in his shoulder. Qin Ge didn’t make a sound, just trembled continuously, as if he were shivering from the cold.
“It won’t disappear.” Zhang Xiao told him gently, “Things that have already existed in the ‘sea area’ can’t just vanish. They will always exist in memory. It’s just that Xie Zijing may not remember them for a while.”
Powder-like fragments filled the sky, slowly falling in the gaps of the rain.
“Good child, it’s enough.” Zhang Xiao patted his shoulder, then his head, “You can leave now. I’ll clear these ruins first.”
According to their original plan, the cleanup of the ruins in Xie Zijing’s “sea area” had to be done by Zhang Xiao. The subsequent reconstruction was more complex and couldn’t be solved in one expedition.
Qin Ge never lifted his head. He thanked Zhang Xiao softly, and a moment later, he disappeared from the “sea area.”
Zhang Xiao walked into the empty ground. After the room disappeared, it left a square piece of scorched earth. He stood in the middle of this land and summoned his spirit bodies back.
His loyal little spirit body was snuggled by his side, nuzzling his palm.
“Let’s begin.”
In the endless cold rain, a man and a spirit body stepped forward.
Everywhere they walked, bloodwater seeped into the ground, ruins turned to dust, and the long-suppressed vitality in the “sea area” impatiently sprouted from beneath the soil.
Gao Qiong was not focused enough while on guard duty, his eyes constantly on a few sand cats outside the small window above.
His wolf was also distracted, not only watching the sand cats but occasionally licking its teeth with its tongue.
The sand cats were unmoved, lowering their heads to stare at the wolf, baring their little claws and licking their teeth in return.
The mixed aura of spirit bodies in the room suddenly changed, and when Gao Qiong turned around, he saw Qin Ge kneeling on the ground.
“Where is Zhang Xiao?” Gao Qiong glanced at Zhang Xiao, who was sitting by the recliner, holding Xie Zijing’s hand with his eyes closed.
“We still have to wait a while…”
Qin Ge looked very pale. Gao Qiong helped him to the side: “Why don’t you go out and find a doctor? The people from 267th Hospital are on standby outside.”
Qin Ge refused. Enduring the intense dizziness and nausea, he sat by the wall. He wanted to wait for Xie Zijing to wake up.
It was like waiting for a trial.
Zhang Xiao’s comfort had little effect on Qin Ge.
Xie Zijing’s feelings for him were like water without a source, trees without roots, a delicate pavilion built in the void. He was afraid that if he pulled out the bottommost beam, the pavilion would collapse.
Human memory is too complex. Even if certain memories exist, it’s normal to be unaware of them for a lifetime.
Qin Ge buried his head in his arms, suddenly hearing a panting sound.
Gao Qiong’s wolf stood in front of him, hesitated for a moment, then licked his head with its tongue.
Qin Ge: “…”
Thankfully, you’re a spirit body. He thought, if you were a real wolf, I’d be missing a patch of scalp from that lick.
Qin Ge stared at the wolf for a while, unable to recognize its breed. He gestured for it to move away, wanting some time and space to grieve.
The chubby wolf, seeing his lack of reaction and either excited or wanting to show its affection for humans, got even closer. It looked up at the sand cats above, who were staring down at it. It wagged its tail enthusiastically and licked Qin Ge again.
Qin Ge no longer had time to be sad: “Captain Gao…your wolf…”
Gao Qiong: “It has gotten into the habit of licking whoever it likes.”
He didn’t stop it, and the fat wolf got even more excited, its bright round eyes almost crossed as it stared at Qin Ge.
Qin Ge had seen this wolf in action during skill competitions within the Crisis Office, and the stark contrast now left him at a loss. The wolf was too lively, pacing around him and completely distracting his attention.
Soon, the wolf noticed a small object dangling from his pocket.
It was a soft rubber lion head.
Qin Ge grabbed it in his hand: “No…you can’t play with this.”
While he was arguing with the wolf, there was a commotion near the recliner. Gao Qiong almost immediately sprang up and quickly approached Zhang Xiao.
Zhang Xiao rubbed his temples, looking clearly exhausted.
“Exactly 90 minutes.” He glanced at his watch. “Xie Zijing is about to wake up.”
“Is everything alright?” Gao Qiong asked. “Has he recovered?”
“The ruins have been completely cleared.” Zhang Xiao smiled, “But to complete the reconstruction, we need Qin Ge’s help.”
Qin Ge had already stood up and hurried over to Zhang Xiao, looking anxious.
“Qin Ge, I hope you will take the lead in the reconstruction phase.” Zhang Xiao said. “Reconstructing the ‘sea area’ requires entering Xie Zijing’s spiritual world multiple times and communicating with his self-consciousness. His mental state and memory recovery are still unstable and can’t support two guides entering at the same time, so you are the main force.”
Qin Ge nodded repeatedly.
“Calm down.” Zhang Xiao patted his face, “You need to rebuild a ‘sea area’ for your sentinel. No one else can do this but you.”
The three of them waited in the room for a while longer. Zhang Xiao and Gao Qiong tried their best to distract Qin Ge by talking about the fat wolf and Zhang Xiao’s spirit body. Sometimes Qin Ge smiled, other times he fell into silence.
Xie Zijing moved on the recliner and finally opened his eyes.
The drowsiness brought by the sedative couldn’t disappear from his body immediately, making his limbs heavy and his head seemingly too heavy to lift.
He propped himself up on the recliner and slowly sat up, seeing the empty room with people approaching him.
Xie Zijing lifted his eyelids and rubbed his eyes, and his gaze slowly swept over the three people in front of him.
His eyes passed over Qin Ge without stopping.
“Do you know where you are?” Zhang Xiao asked softly. “Do you know who I am?”
“…The Crisis Management Office?” Xie Zijing answered uncertainly, “Adjuster…Zhang Xiao.”
“And you? Who are you?”
“Xie Zijing.” His head was groggy and muddled, “Sorry, I have a headache…”
The severe pain in his head made him bend over and clutch his head. Something in his pocket pressed against his waist and abdomen. Xie Zijing pulled it out—it was a small notebook. He placed the notebook on the recliner, took a deep breath, and strained his nerves to fight the pain.
“Qin Ge, call the doctor in.”
He heard Zhang Xiao speaking and instinctively looked up. Behind Zhang Xiao, a young guide was watching him. Xie Zijing’s vision was blurry, narrow, and shaking continuously; he couldn’t see the guide clearly.
“This is Qin Ge,” Zhang Xiao said, “He and I are helping you restore the ‘sea area’.”
Xie Zijing nodded, squinting, trying hard to see the young guide clearly: “Hello…thank you.”
The guide didn’t speak; he just nodded at him and turned to leave the room. More and more people entered the room, with doctors checking his heartbeat and blood pressure, attaching patches to his temples and chest. Xie Zijing had no strength to resist, but he was still conscious enough to climb onto the stretcher by himself.
“Xie Zijing, aren’t you taking this?” Gao Qiong suddenly asked, “Isn’t this yours?”
Xie Zijing turned his head and saw him holding the small notebook.
“…I…I don’t know.”
Gao Qiong: “You just took it out of your pocket.”
He looked at the cover of the notebook.
“It’s yours.” Gao Qiong smiled, “There’s even a rabbit head drawn on it.”
Xie Zijing: “…My spirit body…is a lion.”
Gao Qiong tossed the notebook to him, and Xie Zijing instinctively caught it.
There was indeed a rabbit head drawn on the cover, with long ears, round eyes, and an X for a mouth.
Xie Zijing didn’t deny it anymore. He felt that the notebook was indeed his, and the rabbit was his drawing.
Putting the small notebook back in his pocket, he lay on the stretcher and was carried out of the room.
“Stay in the hospital for two days for observation,” he heard the doctor say.
There were quite a few people standing in the hallway outside the room. Xie Zijing glanced at them silently. All of them seemed vaguely familiar but not clear.
Among these people, there was no Qin Ge, who had just left the room.
Author’s note:
Qin Ge is going to fulfill the promise he once made to himself: to rebuild the “sea area” for his sentinel.
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