Thank you @Beverly for the Kofi. (1/2)
The night view from the mountain was truly beautiful. For the first time, Chen Jian took such a long time to appreciate the scenery he had lived in for twenty years.
His feet felt a little light, he wasn’t sure if it was because of Shan Yu or the alcohol. There was a feeling that he might leap up with the wind and plunge into that world shimmering with silver under the moonlight.
Yue Lang and Yao Yi each carried a bottle of wine, chatting as they drank, and taking a few photos from time to time.
Chen Jian and Shan Yu were both silent. Shan Yu would occasionally chime in with a word or two, but most of the time, he just stood there, looking into the distance with him.
It was just like that time coming out of the old village, seeing Shan Yu standing in a daze on the riverbank. Standing in the wind, in a long silence.
Chen Jian didn’t know what he was looking at, or what he was thinking.
Chen Jian wasn’t thinking about anything. He just stood there quietly, not wanting to move, not wanting to leave.
Through the thick sleeve of his jacket, he could feel the occasional touch of Shan Yu’s arm. In the wind sweeping past his ears, he could hear the faint rustle of their clothes brushing against each other.
It was reassuring.
There was also another indescribable feeling. Each light touch was like sparkling water being poured onto his skin, a patch of tiny bubbles continuously popping.
Subtle yet clear.
“Turn around,” Yao Yi’s voice came from behind.
Chen Jian and Shan Yu turned around at the same time.
Yao Yi stood behind the tripod with his wine, looking at the image on the monitor screen, and pressed the shutter. “The moon is perfect right now.”
When the moon was blocked by the forest on the mountaintop over there, the few of them slowly started walking down the mountain.
The wind began to pick up, and Chen Jian slowly felt his clothes being blown through. Fortunately, the way down was only a few hundred meters.
He glanced at Shan Yu beside him.
Shan Yu looked fine, calm and composed, walking with a relaxed stride, not hunched over and huddled together like Yue Lang and his partner.
Before he could retract his gaze, Shan Yu turned his head. “Hmm?”
“Nothing,” Chen Jian looked ahead.
“It’s so damn cold,” Shan Yu said in a low voice.
“You’re cold?” Chen Jian turned his head back again.
“Not cold. I usually wear short sleeves in this weather,” Shan Yu said.
“…You can wear my jacket,” Chen Jian said.
“No need. It’s just a few steps. I’d have to take it off and then put it on,” Shan Yu shook his bandaged hand. “With this hand, I might not even get my arm into the sleeve by the time we get there…”
Chen Jian started to laugh. “Taking off your clothes just to feel the wind.”
“Mhm,” Shan Yu smiled. “Your alcohol tolerance isn’t great, store manager.”
“I don’t usually get a chance to drink.” Chen Jian didn’t refute it. He hadn’t felt much at first, just cheerful, but after being in the wind for a while, the alcohol was kicking in. His feet were slowly getting unsteady, and his vision was slightly blurry.
“I’m a little dizzy too,” Shan Yu looked at Yue Lang and his partner walking ahead. “Those two can drink.”
Indeed. They had drunk two more bottles on the mountain and were still able to take pictures for people afterward.
They had taken quite a few. Chen Jian really wanted to see them. Besides Shan Yu and the night scenery, he also wanted to see what he looked like in such a high-end camera.
After all, the previous photos he had taken with a camera were for his ID card, and his high school ID badge…
Halfway down, Chen Jian received a message from Hu Pan, saying the barbecue party in the garden was over.
Chen Jian sent her a voice message back: “Just make sure the fires are out. Leave the stuff in the yard, we’ll clean up tomorrow. Everyone go get some rest.”
Hu Pan sent him back a wildly joyful emoji.
This group had indeed tired themselves out. By the time they got back to Dayin, there was no one left in the garden. They could hear someone still singing their heart out upstairs.
“You guys go on up first,” Chen Jian said. “I’m going to do a quick round in the back.”
“Mhm,” Shan Yu responded, walking into the front hall with Yue Lang and the others.
Chen Jian went around to the backyard, with Dayin’s most energetic resident, the perpetual motion Mushroom, at his heels.
He first checked all the fires. The two fire pits were still warm, but the flames had been extinguished. The leftover barbecue on the nearby table had also been taken back to the kitchen.
No problems. He could go rest with peace of mind.
He led Mushroom to the doghouse. This doghouse was constantly being upgraded. At first, Hu Pan had stuffed two old pillows inside. Then someone, he didn’t know who, had wrapped the wooden house in a layer of waterproof tarp for wind protection. Today, a thick cotton curtain had been added. When Mushroom squeezed into the doghouse, Chen Jian reached a hand in to feel it and found it was actually warm inside.
He lifted the curtain to check and found a small electric heating pad placed under the pillows.
“You’re living quite a comfortable little life, aren’t you?” he said, somewhat surprised.
Mushroom curled up on the pillow and closed its eyes.
“There’s no one at the front desk tonight,” Chen Jian said. “Don’t bark, alright? No one will hear you even if you do, understand?”
Mushroom ignored him.
Chen Jian went back inside and locked the main door and the two back doors. Although it was unlikely any guests would arrive in the middle of the night, he still took a sign and hung it on the glass door of the main entrance.
The sign was made by Hu Pan. It said they were open and to call the front desk if needed, with Chen Jian’s mobile number listed.
It was very warm inside. Chen Jian had been chilled to the bone, and he hadn’t felt it as much, but now, wrapped in the warmth of the building, he was suddenly hit by a wave of dizziness. The alcohol had really kicked in, and he was so sleepy his eyes could barely stay open.
As he walked towards the elevator, he stumbled over something on the floor.
“Damn,” he turned to look at the ground. There was nothing there. So he chopped at the air with his hand, “Hah!”
As he turned again, he heard a very faint laugh.
“Who’s there?” Chen Jian asked, and at the same time, he saw Shan Yu leaning against the elevator doors. He paused. “You didn’t go up?”
“An elevator can’t fit a couple and a third wheel,” Shan Yu said.
Chen Jian smiled and went over to press the button.
“You’re in this state, and you still didn’t miss a single task,” Shan Yu said.
“Take people’s money,” Chen Jian leaned a hand against the wall, “and solve their problems.”
“Is the money still there?” Shan Yu looked at him.
“Holy crap,” Chen Jian was startled and patted his chest frantically. He only relaxed when he felt the thick envelope. “It’s here. You scared me sober.”
The elevator doors opened. Shan Yu smiled and walked in.
Chen Jian followed him in, leaning against the wall.
The elevator moved quite slowly. Chen Jian had always thought the elevator was slow and preferred to take the stairs. Today, he found the journey to the fourth floor to be exceptionally long.
In the small space, his hearing had become particularly sensitive due to the alcohol.
He could hear his own breathing, and he could also hear Shan Yu’s.
He looked at Shan Yu.
Shan Yu was also looking at him.
Warmth enveloped him… mainly enveloping his head…
Chen Jian felt that not only his face and ears, but his entire head was hot. He couldn’t help but glance at the metal panel beside him.
But surprisingly, it wasn’t the red head he had imagined. Only his eyes, the tip of his nose, and the tips of his ears were a little red.
He breathed a sigh of relief. Not too bad.
A little drunk, feeling cheerful, but his brain was still functioning.
Albeit with a bit of lag.
The elevator doors opened on the fourth floor. Shan Yu walked out of the elevator.
Chen Jian watched his back, standing still. It was only when the elevator doors were about to close that he followed, getting caught by them.
Shan Yu looked back at him. “Hurry back to your room and sleep. If you get into a fight with the elevator in a bit, in your current state, you might not be its match.”
Chen Jian smiled but didn’t say anything. He could hear people still talking in the dorm rooms; everyone was still awake.
He was very sleepy, but he didn’t want to sleep.
He hadn’t spoken much all evening. He thought he hadn’t been thinking much either, just spacing out.
But now he realized he had been thinking a lot. Bolstered by the alcohol, he had thought about things he dared to think and things he didn’t dare to think.
With almost no hesitation, he walked towards the office.
As he passed Shan Yu, he said, “Let’s talk.”
He didn’t wait for Shan Yu’s reply and continued walking.
But Shan Yu didn’t reply either, just followed him into the office.
After entering, Chen Jian stopped and turned to look at Shan Yu.
Shan Yu stood at the doorway. After closing the door behind him, he didn’t move either.
After a moment of silence, Shan Yu spoke first, “We’re talking standing up?”
“Mhm,” Chen Jian nodded. “Just a few words.”
“Alright,” Shan Yu smiled.
“Today I’m a little… maybe I drank too much…” Chen Jian looked at him. As he spoke, he felt his own voice was a bit distant, a bit unreal.
“You most likely did drink too much,” Shan Yu said.
“Don’t talk yet,” Chen Jian said.
Shan Yu turned his head away and smiled, then turned back to look at him. “Mhm.”
“I wanted to say…” Chen Jian took a step forward, wanting Shan Yu to hear his unreal voice more clearly. “I said before, boss and employee, without anything else mixed in…”
Shan Yu didn’t speak, just leaned back against the door, watching him.
“Actually, all along…” Chen Jian thought about it very seriously. “I haven’t really been able to do that, right?”
“I haven’t, or you haven’t?” Shan Yu asked.
“I don’t know,” Chen Jian said. “Me, I guess.”
“Maybe,” Shan Yu said.
“This thing, it’s just impossible to do, right?” Chen Jian said.
Shan Yu was silent for a moment before speaking. “It depends on how you think about it.”
“I… maybe…” Chen Jian felt he had a lot to say, logically clear and well-organized, but when he opened his mouth, he found his brain and mouth were like newly installed parts, both stuck.
He stopped.
Shan Yu showed no expression and just waited quietly.
“I, towards you…” Chen Jian anxiously took another step forward. His foot scraped against the carpet, and he stumbled again, crashing right into Shan Yu.
Fortunately, although his brain was lagging, his body was still relatively normal.
He reached out a hand to brace himself against the door. With a thud, the door even shook.
He startled himself.
Shan Yu’s injured hand had even moved to the side to avoid him…
He sighed softly. “I have feelings for you.”
This time, he heard it clearly. His own voice no longer felt distant. It was very clear, as if spoken face-to-face with Shan Yu.
“Mhm,” Shan Yu responded.
He was also very clear, from a distance of twenty centimeters.
“But,” Chen Jian lowered his head, thinking about how to say it. He clearly hadn’t drunk that much, but it was as if the alcohol had been poured directly into his skull. His mind was a mess. “I don’t know how to say it, I…”
“Chen Jian,” Shan Yu called his name.
“Mhm,” Chen Jian looked up at him.
“Feelings like this are never completely equal,” Shan Yu said. “Some people feel more, some less. Some earlier, some later. It will never be exactly the same, nor does it need to be…”
Chen Jian didn’t speak, lost in the sound of Shan Yu’s voice.
“And you’ll never know how much the other person has given. Whether it’s thirty percent, fifty percent, or everything,” Shan Yu said. “So, me liking you is just a simple expression. It doesn’t need to be quantified, nor does it need to be equivalent.”
“Mhm,” Chen Jian responded.
“When you wake up tomorrow, you might not remember what you said,” Shan Yu said. “But you’d better remember what I said.”
“Mhm,” Chen Jian looked at him. “Then can you remember what I said?”
“If you don’t remember, I won’t remember,” Shan Yu said.
“I…” Chen Jian’s arm, braced against the door, was getting weak. He could feel Shan Yu’s breath getting closer, but his vision of Shan Yu’s face was slowly losing focus.
It was too close.
“I like you.” As Chen Jian said these words, he felt his lips touch the corner of Shan Yu’s mouth.
Then, the arm he was using to brace himself completely lost its strength. His last memory was of holding Shan Yu and sliding down to the floor in a kneeling position.
“Hey,” Shan Yu reached out to hold Chen Jian.
But he still couldn’t stop Chen Jian’s downward momentum.
The man slid down, clutching his clothes, as if he’d been knocked out. He had to squat down along with him, or his clothes would have been ripped open by Chen Jian.
Chen Jian knelt on the floor for a few seconds. His hands finally lost their strength, and he slumped to the side, falling onto the carpet.
“Chen Jian?” Shan Yu bent down to look at him, patting his face. “Store manager? Curly?”
Chen Jian didn’t respond.
Shan Yu sighed. After a moment of silence, he started walking towards the bedroom. He took two steps, then turned back. “Chen Yuluoyan?”
Chen Jian was still motionless, his breathing slightly heavy but steady.
Shan Yu went into the bedroom, took out a blanket, shook it open, and covered him. He then took a pillow and stuffed it under his head.
He had thought about going to the dorm to get Sanbing or someone to help carry Chen Jian back, but then he thought, if he really did that, Store Manager Chen would probably silence everyone in the dorm room when he woke up tomorrow.
But Chen Jian’s state didn’t seem entirely like he was just drunk. It was more like some kind of force supporting him from within had suddenly drained away, coupled with the effect of the alcohol…
Shan Yu stood beside him for a while, took out his phone from his pocket, and, looking down, took a few pictures. He even squatted down and took several close-ups of Chen Jian’s face.
These photos, which looked like a crime scene, if Chen Jian ever had the chance to see them, who knows if he would hunt him down.
Shan Yu tossed his phone onto the sofa, squatted beside Chen Jian, and spaced out for a bit. He reached out and brushed the hair from his forehead, his fingertip lightly tracing a line from his forehead down to the tip of his nose.
After a while, he went and got his phone again. He parted Chen Jian’s hair down the middle and took a picture, then slicked it all back and took another… He had to admit, Chen Jian was indeed good-looking. On anyone else, Shan Yu wouldn’t let these hairstyles stay in his phone for even thirty seconds.
He had never had such a chaotic dream.
Chen Jian could feel the strong sunlight before his eyes and was clearly aware that he was slowly waking up from sleep, but he still hadn’t escaped the chaos.
He struggled to open his eyes. Dazzling sunlight spread out before him in a flat, wide expanse.
He hugged the blanket around him, closed his eyes again, then slowly reopened them…
Although still a bit dazed, as his vision gradually cleared, he discovered something was wrong.
When did the bed board get so hard?
When did the bed get so spacious… He followed the bed all the way with his eyes and saw a pair of shoes.
To be precise, a pair of sneakers on someone’s feet.
And they were parallel to his line of sight.
Following the shoes all the way up was a pair of loose sweatpants. He recognized those pants; they were Shan Yu’s.
There was no need to look any further up.
Shan Yu was leaning against the desk, looking at him, holding a steaming cup of what was either coffee or tea.
It should be coffee. He could smell the aroma of coffee.
“Morning,” Shan Yu said to him, taking a sip of coffee.
“Damn,” Chen Jian was instantly awake. He shot up from the floor, still tangled in the blanket.
When the blanket fell to the floor, he looked down. He had slept on the floor of the boss’s office for a whole night… He took out his phone to check. Not one night, but one night and one morning.
“It’s ten-thirty?” He looked at Shan Yu in shock.
“Mhm,” Shan Yu nodded.
“…Are they all up?” Chen Jian frantically picked up the blanket and bundled it up messily. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
“You looked like you were sleeping soundly, so I didn’t,” Shan Yu said. “I haven’t seen you sleep in since I got here.”
“There’s a ton of stuff to do today.” Chen Jian wanted to put the blanket on the sofa, but then felt it was a bit dirty, so he just held it.
“They’re all up,” Shan Yu said. “Everything is running normally. Your Dayin won’t go bankrupt just because the store manager is away for a few hours.”
Chen Jian didn’t speak.
Shan Yu took a sip of coffee and didn’t speak either.
After a moment of frantic activity, his brain completely woke up.
Memories started to surface.
He remembered everything. Although it was like recalling a dream, he remembered it all.
Chen Jian felt it was a good thing he was holding the blanket; otherwise, he wouldn’t know where to put his hands right now.
He looked at Shan Yu.
When you wake up tomorrow, you might not remember what you said…
“I remember,” Chen Jian said.
“Hmm?” Shan Yu asked. “What?”
“Everything,” Chen Jian said.
