“…” The chubby rural entrepreneur Huang said with jealousy, “Hello Monday (Zhou Yi), I’m your older brother, my name is Sunday (Zhou Ri).”1
The Fatty Huang wanted to find President Chu to complain with, but when he turned his head, he saw Chu He rushing out. He immediately became anxious. “Where are you going? These turtle grandsons are here to hijack the deal! You better get back here and back me up!”
Chu He turned his head. His jaw was clenched tight, and his whole complexion looked a bit off. “I’ll go first. If you need anything later, call me.”
Mayor Huang grabbed him and wouldn’t let go. “What’s going on?”
Chu He tried to break free, but the grip of a three-hundred-plus-pound fatty wasn’t something he could easily escape. If they continued to struggle, even the people from the province would notice. In his haste, Chu He had no choice but to hold Mayor Huang down and whisper, “I have a past with that guy surnamed Zhou…”
“What? You two are enemies?”
“I once cast a spell on him. The next time we meet, for the duration of one incense stick, as long as I don’t call out to him, he won’t notice me. This one incense stick’s time is for me to escape. I’m going home first. You can come find me tomorrow after you send off this group from the province.”
Mayor Huang was completely bewildered. He watched as Chu He hastily broke free and strode away.
“I heard someone just jumped off a building here. Oh my, it took us forever to find—what? The police have already been here?” Zhou Yi’s enthusiastic voice came from a distance. “Hey, next time there’s trouble, just call me directly! Me! I love trouble the most!”
Aida: “…”
“You don’t know, being cooped up in the office all day is f—ing suffocating. I’m so happy to finally be out on fieldwork, I wish I could stay out for a few more days! Oh right, little beauty, you think it’s fate that I met you as soon as I came out?”
Yan Lanyu: “…Mr. Zhou is joking.”
“No jokes, no jokes,” Zhou Yi said with a grin. “You don’t know, my predictions are especially accurate. If I say it’s fate, it’s definitely fate. As for whether it’s a good fate or a bad one, we can talk about that later—hey, Mayor Huang! What are you standing there for! Didn’t you say you were selecting a construction site? Is the site selected yet?”
Mayor Huang’s mouth twitched. “…No.”
Zhou Yi followed Mayor Huang’s gaze toward the entrance of the construction site. “Then what are you standing there for? Come over and choose.”
—In the direction of his gaze, Chu He was striding toward the Red Flag car parked not far away.
Zhou Yi acted as if he hadn’t noticed him and nonchalantly turned his head away.
However, at that moment, the police car that was about to leave suddenly stopped. The team captain rushed down, holding a phone. “President Chu—”
To an outsider, this must have been a very comical scene: Zhou Yi, Aida, and Yan Lanyu stood in a three-way standoff. Not far away, Chu He was hastily leaving without looking back. Mayor Huang stood at the midpoint of the straight line between Zhou Yi and Chu He, desperately trying to block Zhou Yi’s potential line of sight to Chu He with his massive body. On the other side, the city police team captain was running and shouting for President Chu, looking like his butt was on fire. He was making such a commotion that everyone except the aforementioned few, including the Director Li from the provincial foreign guest reception office, turned their heads in unison toward Chu He.
“President Chu!” The team captain finally grabbed Chu He, completely oblivious to the latter’s suddenly pale face. “There’s an emergency, President Chu. The branch office just received an alarm call. Your house…”
Chu He interrupted him as he continued walking toward the car. “I’m on my way home now.”
“Your house is on fire!” the team captain said earnestly. “The city fire department has already been dispatched and is heading to your house. It seems there are no casualties yet, so you don’t have to worry!”
Chu He finally couldn’t help but say sharply, “I said I’m on my way back!”
—At that very moment, it was as if an invisible timer in the void clicked, the second hand returning to zero.
Zhou Yi turned his head, as if he had just noticed the commotion over there.
“What’s going on? Who’s that over there?”
Chu He pushed the team captain away with one hand and reached for the door of the Red Flag with the other. However, at that moment, Zhou Yi, behind him, frowned, seeming to sense something unusual from the familiar back.
“—Who’s that over there?”
Chu He’s hand was already on the car door.
“Stop for me!”
Chu He’s movement froze in mid-air. A hand was already on his shoulder. He turned his head to see Zhou Yi appear behind him.
Up close, Zhou Yi’s face was even more breathtakingly handsome. Under high brow bones similar to those of a Westerner were deep, bright eyes. That was truly a charming and affectionate gaze, as deep as the sea. If it were a young girl in the bloom of youth, after being stared at by him so intently for a few seconds, without him saying a word, she would probably have fallen deep into the net of love and pledged herself to him.
But Chu He was very calm, not only calm but also very innocent. “Excuse me, may I ask…”
Zhou Yi stared at his face without blinking, as if he not only wanted to see through his skin but also dig out the marrow from his bones to have a look.
He was so focused that even Mayor Huang got a little scared. Just as he was wondering if this pretty boy from the province had some strange fetish, Zhou Yi smiled, let Chu He go, and said, “Sorry, from the back, you look a lot like an old friend of mine. I got excited and mistook you. My apologies, my apologies.”
Mayor Huang’s heart relaxed, and he couldn’t help but add, “What old friend?”
Zhou Yi was especially affectionate. “My ex-wife.”
Mayor Huang: “…”
Chu He: “…”
Mayor Huang’s mouth twitched suspiciously. “Little Zhou, don’t blame me for being blunt, but although this President Chu is a bit thin, he’s still a grown man. If your ex-wife’s build is similar to his, isn’t that a bit…”
“You don’t understand, Lao Huang!” Zhou Yi said seriously. “My ex-wife, she is the cinnabar mole on my heart that will never fade, the white lotus that will never wither! It doesn’t matter who he looks like now. Even if he looked like you, I would still love him!”
Mayor Huang stopped talking. From the expression on his fat face, he was so flustered he couldn’t say a word.
Chu He couldn’t listen anymore. He took two steps back, turned, and got into the car. “You guys chat first. My house is on fire. I need to go home.”
Zhou Yi immediately clung to the car door. “Where do you live?”
“…Mr. Zhou, please let go.”
“Hey—not letting go, not letting go. Where do you live? To meet is fate. Your house being on fire is such a big deal. How can we not go watch the excitement?”
Instantly, everyone’s expression became as flustered as Mayor Huang’s. Even the corner of Chu He’s eye twitched repeatedly. He couldn’t help but point to Yan Lanyu. “Isn’t Mr. Zhou’s fate over there?”
“Aiya, President Chu, you don’t understand! Fate has different depths and levels! For you to look like my ex-wife—even if it’s only three or four percent, our fate is deep. Though it’s not deeper than the mountains or the sea, it’s at least… hey! Don’t go!”
The Red Flag car sped away, leaving Zhou Yi with a face full of exhaust fumes.
“…” Zhou Yi wiped his face and said helplessly, “I was just trying to ask him, if his car broke down…”
Before he could finish, the Red Flag car in front let out a loud bang. A puff of white smoke came from the front hood, and the car stopped.
“…if he was willing to take our car.” Zhou Yi said innocently.
Mayor Huang and Chu He had no choice but to get into the awesome black Mulsanne. As for Aida and his group of Japanese, they excused themselves, saying it was getting late. Before leaving, they agreed to come back to the development center tomorrow to discuss the engineering drawings.
Mayor Huang was completely baffled. “How could my car just break down like that?!”
No one in the car spoke. Even the subordinates from their provincial foreign guest reception office were as silent as clams. Only Zhou Yi suddenly leaned over and asked with great interest, “Does President Chu have a preference for Red Flag cars?”
Chu He: “…”
“Then, is President Chu able to get used to my car?”
Chu He turned his head, propping his chin on his hand, not wanting to talk to him at all.
His subordinates seemed to be used to Zhou Yi’s frequent fits of madness, their faces as stern as underground operatives. It was Fatty Huang who couldn’t hold his tongue and said sarcastically, “No matter how good or bad the Red Flag is, it’s still provided by the city. It can’t compare to you guys from the province, so rich and extravagant that even the foreign guest office is equipped with a nearly ten-million-yuan luxury car. How can our seventh- or eighth-tier little city compare?”
Zhou Yi was all smiles. “Hey—you’re being too formal. No matter how rich our province is, we can’t waste money like that. To be honest, I bought this car myself. I spent some money on modifications back then, but then I just left it there and forgot to drive it. It’s been a few years, it’s an old car now…”
“Little Zhou’s family is also in business?” Mayor Huang, a fatty satisfied with two chickens a day, felt his heart ache.
“What business? Just saving up and living off my old capital. My family’s assets might not even be as thick as that little Japanese guy’s.” Zhou Yi turned to Chu He with a broad smile, seemingly unbothered that Chu He was treating him like air. “Our lives as men are hard, you know? We have to work hard, save money to support our wives and children, and then one slip-up and our wife becomes our ex-wife. I’m not just saying, why don’t we just kidnap that little Japanese guy and blackmail him? I think their Aida family has a thick foundation. We might be able to squeeze out a few hundred billion for my ex-wife’s alimony…”
Mayor Huang’s mouth twitched for a long time. With his head full of black lines, he turned to Li Hu. “Director Li…”
“Shh,” Li Hu casually shifted her butt, moving a little farther away from Zhou Yi, before whispering, “I know what you want to ask. Don’t ask. Yes, just assume he’s not normal…”
·
As they spoke, the car had already arrived in front of the Zhang family villa. This area was also quite a distance from the city center. The nearby villa clusters were vast and sparsely situated, so no neighbors came out to watch the commotion. Only two fire trucks were parked in front of the smoking brick and tile, and the ground was covered in white-foamed water.
The villa’s facade was still relatively intact, but the southeast corner where the bedroom was had completely collapsed. It looked like it would take at least three to five months to rebuild.
A few young maids were huddled on the steps, trembling. Zhang Shun and that little bastard Huang Pian were using all their skills to comfort them. Hearing the car horn, they turned around. “Hey—! Bro!”
Chu He strode forward and was about to swing his hand.
Zhang Shun immediately ducked his head to dodge. “Bro! Are you trying to hit me?!”
“President Chu, President Chu! A misunderstanding! It’s all a misunderstanding!” Huang Pian, seeing the situation was bad, rushed up to intervene. “This really has nothing to do with Zhang Shun! Aiya, it’s all that Master Fang—huh? Uncle?”
Mayor Huang rushed over, really wanting to fly up and kick his good-for-nothing nephew to the horizon. “Why the f— are you here again?!”
“Uncle, let me explain…”
Mayor Huang immediately covered his nephew’s mouth and dragged him to the side. “Don’t you know you only became a spirit after the founding of the nation?! If you don’t keep a low profile, are you trying to die?!”
Huang Pian said with a mournful face, “It’s really not my fault. It was that guy surnamed Fang who was asking for death…”
It turned out that when Huang Pian heard the Zhang family was haunted, he immediately became energized. The little weasel knew from birth that he was a demon and didn’t have the same fear of ghosts as ordinary humans. He was more interested in watching the excitement than helping Zhang Shun. So, he immediately invited the currently very popular Master Fang to the Zhang family.
That Master Fang was quite famous in Hong Kong and Guangdong. He was said to have come to H-City to travel around and refine magical artifacts. Needless to say about all that superstitious stuff, but he was indeed skilled in fortune-telling and exorcism. Several local tycoons had invited him to check their feng shui. The only wealthy family in H-City that hadn’t invited Master Fang was the Zhang family.
Although Master Fang claimed to be a transcendent master, he still had to eat in the secular world and had long been eyeing the connection with the Zhang family. Unfortunately, while the master was willing, President Chu was as hard as iron. If it weren’t for Second Young Master Zhang coming to his door this time, Master Fang still wouldn’t have been able to get into the Zhang family’s house.
When Zhang Shun told the story of his encounter with the ghost, Master Fang thought it was an easy case. The Zhang family used to be in the mining business, and it was said that quite a few people had died in mine collapses. This was clearly a resentful ghost coming to collect a debt. A proper exorcism to send it off would solve the problem.
So the master grandly entered the Zhang family mansion. After one round, cold sweat soaked his back.
—The feng shui of the Zhang family’s house, it was a f—ing corpse-raising formation!
Normally, a business family would have a feng shui formation to gather wealth and ensure family prosperity. This was a given. But when the Zhang family’s villa was built, the front window was aligned with the back window, creating a “sword piercing the hall.” A narrow slit was also specially opened in the ceiling, creating both a “heavenly chop” and, by facing north, a “light sha,” making it as fierce as possible. What was particularly terrifying was that Second Young Master Zhang’s brother’s bedroom was right on the core of the formation. An ordinary person living here for two or three years would have long since had their family line wiped out, let alone run a company and do business.
Master Fang wiped away his cold sweat and asked, “Second Young Master, is your elder brother in poor health?”
Zhang Shun was overjoyed. “Master, you are truly a master, you even know this! I told you he looks perpetually drained, and recently he’s been showing signs of overindulgence…”
If it had been Zhou Yi, this formation wouldn’t be called a corpse-raising formation. He could just casually place a lounge chair and sunbathe in the “light sha.” If it had been Yan Lanyu, he might have wondered if the owner of the house had intentionally set up this formation and if there was some deeper meaning, then silently retreat and pretend not to know.
But this Master Fang, first, didn’t expect Second Young Master Zhang’s brother to be ruthless enough to enter demonhood and use his own heart’s blood to sacrifice to the Demon Lord. Second, he was blinded by the shiny check in Second Young Master Zhang’s hand and wanted to show off his skills.
—And then things went wrong.
“The-the master had just taken out the copper coins, paper figures, and rooster blood, and the paper figure just caught fire… Zhang Shun and I rushed to get water, but no matter how much water we poured, the fire just burned hotter. In the end, the whole bedroom just-just-just-just burned to ashes…”
Chu He asked, “You burned it in my bedroom?”
Huang Pian nodded timidly.
Chu He took a deep breath. It felt like he was barely holding back the urge to beat this little weasel. He turned and walked toward his now charred bedroom and sat alone in the ruins.
Zhang Shun hesitated for a long time before cautiously walking over. “Bro… bro.”
His brother ignored him.
“Bro, you can beat me up. I didn’t mean to…”
Chu He turned his head away.
This made Zhang Shun feel even worse. Although he had indeed hated this cheap brother when he was young and foolish, and had found it unacceptable when his father left him the inheritance, to say that he had no feelings for his brother after all these years would be a lie.
Besides, his brother was very good to him. He gave him money when he asked, a car when he wanted one. Although his attitude was cold, he actually granted his every request and never gave him any cause for dissatisfaction. The year his father passed away, he fell ill, and it was his brother who took care of him without taking off his clothes, not even leaving the house for half a month. When he was young and heartbroken, lost in drunken despair, his brother searched for him in every bar on the street in the middle of the night and didn’t mind being covered in vomit. A multi-million-yuan Ferrari, he gave it just for the asking, while his brother himself didn’t even drive such an expensive car. While he was enjoying the company of beautiful women every day, his brother was so busy with business he didn’t even have time to find a girlfriend…
“Bro, I really won’t dare to do it again!” Zhang Shun raised his hand and slapped himself hard across the face. Just as he was about to slap himself a second time, his brother stopped him with a sharp shout. “Stop it!”
Zhang Shun looked at his brother pitifully, his expression much like an abandoned husky.
Chu He’s expression was strange, a mixture of helplessness and amusement. After a long moment, he kicked his brother. “Go, go, get lost!”
Zhang Shun clutched his butt and ran, not stopping until he was more than ten meters away. He looked back and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his brother wasn’t chasing him.
The Second Young Master touched his face and confirmed that it wasn’t swollen or disfigured before slowly walking around the ruins toward the villa’s main entrance. The butler was directing the servants to move things and take stock of the property damage.
Mayor Huang and his nephew Huang Pian stood on the empty ground, looking at the steps with strange expressions.
On the steps sat a handsome young man, surrounded by several fresh and tender young maids. He was seriously reading their palms. “Your love line is chaotic, which means your love life will be full of twists and turns, maybe even life and death partings. But don’t worry, you won’t be apart for more than a few years. You are destined to have a noble husband, and you won’t have to worry about food or drink in the future, with two kids in three years… What? A boy or a girl? Aiya, let me tell you, girls are better these days. A daughter is a caring little jacket. If you have a son, you’re in debt. If you have two sons, your life is over…”
Zhang Shun’s mouth twitched. “…Who is this guy?”
The handsome guy looked up and accurately spotted Zhang Shun in the crowd. In an instant, like a Red Army soldier seeing the Party organization, he rushed over excitedly in a few strides. “Dear! Dear, your forehead is dark, you’re about to have a bloody disaster! Come here and buy a protective talisman from me! Seeing that we have such a fate, I’ll give you a 5% discount!”
“Are you f—ing crazy?” Zhang Shun turned to leave, but then for some reason, he tripped over his own feet on flat ground and fell face-first onto the ground with a loud thud.
Everyone around: “…”
That was a really hard fall. Even falling down the stairs usually wasn’t this bad. It took Zhang Shun a long time to struggle up from the ground, his head bleeding. Two streams of blood mixed with snot ran down his nose.
“Great immortal,” Zhang Shun asked with tears streaming down his face, “may I ask for the great immortal’s esteemed name, and how much is the protective talisman?”
The handsome guy pulled a crumpled tissue from his pocket and stuffed it into his hand, saying sympathetically, “I’m a friend of your brother. My name is Zhou Yi. Our meeting is fate. A protective talisman originally priced at 12,000, you can have it for 8,800.”
“…A friend, and you’re still charging 8,800?!”
Zhou Yi squatted down and held Zhang Shun’s blood-and-tear-streaked face, saying seriously, “More than just a friend! President Chu’s younger brother is my own younger brother! No, even closer than a real younger brother! Come on, let’s settle the accounts clearly, brother. Are you paying by card or check? There’s a 2% handling fee for card payments.”
Zhang Shun got up and turned to leave.
Just then, a subordinate from the foreign guest office was backing up a car. Zhou Yi stood up, looking rather dejected, and sighed. “I’m really down on my luck now… Back in the day, in the nine heavens and ten realms, gods and buddhas would cry and beg me to sell them a couple of protective talismans. They wouldn’t even be happy if I charged too little… Now, no one even wants one for 8,800…”
The subordinate immediately rushed out of the car, knelt down, and hugged his leg. “Boss Zhou! Please sell me a protective talisman! Do you accept 88,000 via Alipay transfer?”
“What are you thinking? You and I have no fate. I wouldn’t sell it for 880,000.” Zhou Yi patted his head kindly and sauntered away.
Chu He sat on the charred rubble. The corner of his eye twitched when he saw his brother fall headfirst—but it was just a twitch. Then he turned his head and pretended not to see.
“Don’t worry, Boss Zhou is just joking with him.” Li Hu gracefully walked over, her red lips curving into a captivating smile. She proactively extended her hand to shake Chu He’s. “Hello, President Chu. Boss Zhou is just a bit of a quirky person. I hope you don’t mind.”
Chu He suddenly became very gentle with this beautiful woman. “It’s fine. It’s a good thing to have personality… What do you mean by calling him ‘Boss’?”
Li Hu covered her mouth and giggled. “That’s his nickname. Everyone in our department calls him that. Actually, don’t be fooled by his slick exterior. He’s a very reliable person when he’s serious, just a bit of a flirt.”
Chu He smiled upon hearing this. “No wonder his wife ran off with someone else.”
Not far away, Zhou Yi happened to be passing by. It was unclear whether he heard it or not, but his back suddenly seemed to stiffen.
—It turned out that President Chu’s reverse scale really couldn’t be touched. The revenge for Zhang Shun’s fall on flat ground was served in less than five minutes.
“No, no, it’s not what you think.” Li Hu knew she had misspoken and hurriedly tried to make amends. “Boss Zhou has two children with his ex-wife, but they both had accidents. It was because of the successive family tragedies that he…”
Chu He nodded in understanding. “Director Li seems to know her colleague very well.”
“Are you implying something?” Li Hu laughed so hard she swayed like a flower in the wind. “Even less so. Although both that Mr. Zhou and your esteemed brother are dashing and handsome young men, in my opinion, a calm and steady man like President Chu is far more charming.”
Chu He turned his head and glanced at her.
Under the setting sun, his eyes were slightly narrowed. The curve from his high-bridged nose to his lips, and then from his chin to his neck, was elegant and somewhat ambiguous. That half-smiling expression seemed to have produced an indescribable change in his seemingly plain face. Even someone like Li Hu, who was used to seeing handsome men, was stunned for a moment.
Just then, Zhang Shun had gone to wash his face. With a bandage on his nose, he ran over, bruised and swollen. “Bro—”
“Beautiful,” Chu He extended his hand, which was wearing a Vacheron Constantin diamond watch, to Li Hu and asked gallantly, “May I have the honor of treating you to a late-night snack tonight?”
Li Hu: “…”
Zhang Shun: “…”
Zhou Yi in the distance: “…”
“Then it’s settled, beautiful,” Chu He said with a smile. “Tonight at nine, I’ll pick you up at your hotel.”
__
Author’s note:
Mini-theater:
Zhou Yi: “President Chu, would you condescend to ride in my car? If not, I’ll have to summon an ancient divine beast to carry you. Do you prefer a flying serpent or a Western white tiger?”
Chu He: “…Zhang Shun, call a taxi to pick me up. Quick.”
- Zhou Yi (周一), is pronounced identically to the Chinese word for Monday. In response, Mayor Huang sarcastically introduces himself as Zhou Ri (周日), which is the Chinese word for Sunday. ↩︎
